Chapter Nine #3
If she said no, he would hear the lie. “I don’t have to answer you.”
“That’s a yes. Do you want me to help you out of your top?”
“Nathan! I don’t need you. I’m not some helpless person you have to coddle. I’m capable of taking my own top off,” she griped as she peeled it over her head. Her hair flopped forward, and she shook her head to move her curls to her back.
When she saw the look on Nathan’s face, she froze.
His hungry gaze was locked on her breasts.
“You’ve seen them before,” she reminded him quietly as she crossed her arms over her chest. “You saw me Change, just like you said.”
“You were right. It does feel more intimate in here.” His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. He stood slowly and sauntered toward her.
God, he felt so big in here, as if he took up every molecule of space.
Delta froze as he came to a stop in front of her.
He looked down at her shoulder, then dragged the softest touch down her skin there to her arm, to her elbow and back up.
He cupped the side of her neck, and she thought he would kiss her again, but instead, with his free hand, he pulled the t-shirt from her hand.
Slowly, carefully, he pulled it over her head and settled the hem into place.
“That was the hardest thing I have ever done.” Truth.
Breath shallow, Delta clenched her hands together to resist the urge to reach for him. Nathan smelled like cologne and fur, and those eyes of his were on fire.
He tilted his head toward the bed. “Under the covers then.”
“Don’t tell me what to do,” she whispered through a smile, but she did as he asked and slipped under the covers he held up for her.
Nathan tucked the edges around her and sat on the edge of the thin mattress. He searched her eyes. She thought he would tell her goodnight, but instead, he said, “I went camping too.”
A slight frown dragged at her eyebrows. “What?”
“I went camping when I was a kid. I was always the one fighting to light the campfire. I have eight brothers, and we all liked delinquent shit.”
She giggled and rolled to her side, tucked her hands under her cheek. “Did you take turns lighting the campfires?”
“No. I always lit them.”
“That was nice of them to let you.”
Nathan snorted. “We fought for who got to light it. I won. There was nothing nice about it. They bled me. I just bled them more.”
“Do you talk to your brothers anymore?”
“I’m close to a few of them. Are you ready for the game?”
“What game?”
“You feel like we are strangers still.”
“I feel like that because we are.”
“Well, here’s your one chance to get to know me, Delta-Girl. You get three questions at a time,” Nathan said. “Are you ready?”
“Uh okay, let me think.” Delta pursed her lips and pushed up onto her elbow, trying to organize her thoughts. “Okay, how many girls have you dated?”
“Dated or slept with?” Nathan asked.
“Same difference.”
“No, it absolutely isn’t the same difference for me. Pick one.”
“Um dated first, and then second question is how many women have you slept with?”
“Two, and hmm,” he looked like he was thinking really hard.
“Is it hard for you to count to a hundred?” she jabbed.
“Shut it,” he joked and ruffled her hair. “Probably a dozen. Or twenty.”
“A dozen or twenty? That’s a very wide range there, sir. Which one is it?”
“Closer to twenty.”
“Ho.”
He snickered and said, “My turn. Dated and slept with, and go.”
He was already breaking his own rules by only giving her two questions, but okay. “Be prepared to be impressed with my sexual prowess. Are you ready?”
“Super ready.”
“Dated three and slept with one.”
“One…dozen?” he asked through a frown.
“No, just one. One total. The number one.”
“Wait. Decker is your only fuck?” he blurted out.
“Don’t say it like that,” she said, pulling a face. “I loved him for a while. I’m picky with who I sleep with.”
He stood and walked into the kitchen, grabbed a bag of chips, and returned to sit on the edge of the bed again. He opened the package and ate a chip, and blinked hard shaking his head. “Decker has a weird haircut and his arms are too short. My turn again.”
“What? No. That’s not how the game works.”
“I don’t care,” he said without missing a beat. “Question three, what was the final straw?”
“Final straw,” she repeated softly, not understanding the question.
“What caused your break-up?” he clarified.
Delta puffed air out of her cheeks and felt the blush creep up her cheeks as she thought about it. She knew the exact moment. “I don’t want to say.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s rude.”
“Fuck Decker,” Nathan said. “He yelled in your face. I bet that wasn’t the only time he did that, was it?” He waited, but when Delta didn’t answer, he asked again. “Was it?”
She kept her answer to herself so he wouldn’t get angry.
“You have to answer the question,” he said. “It’s the rules of the game.”
“Fine what was the last straw for your two serious relationships?”
“Uuuuh, one of them stole my truck with her psychotic mother and they hid it in the woods. Threw all my belongings all over the highway on the way out of town. I like spicy women, but the crazy stuff is a turn-off.”
Delta’s mouth hung open with her shock. “She was an adult woman doing that?”
“Yep. I had to pull together a search party to find my truck. She asked me to get back together a couple of days after I found it.”
“Why did she do that?” she asked, horrified. There wasn’t enough money in the world to make her stoop low and act out of character like that.
He scratched his ear. “It was her response to me telling her I needed a break. She stole my truck from the parking lot where I worked the next day.”
“Oh, my dear. Okay.” She blinked hard. “And the other one?”
“She threw a lamp at my head and when I ducked, she blamed me for her grandma’s lamp being broken against the wall.
She went ballistic on me. Took a swing at my face and I was done.
We had people over, and her family. She did it in front of everyone, and she and her friends were yelling at me calling me a piece of shit for breaking her grandma’s lamp. ”
Delta pursed her lips against a laugh.
“It’s not funny,” he murmured, but his eyes were dancing.
“I didn’t laugh.”
His lips curved up into a grin. “You’re smiling pretty big there, Delta-Girl.”
“You had a type.”
“Yeah, psychopaths,” he agreed. “Now you go. What ended you and Dicker?”
Delta rolled her eyes. “It’s Decker.”
“Same difference.”
“A word ended us.” Gah she couldn’t tell him this. It was too mortifying.
“What word?” he asked.
“Well…” Gah, she couldn’t do this! But Nathan was sitting here, so attentive. He was paying attention and staring deep into her soul, waiting. He seemed interested in what she had to say for the first time maybe ever, so she couldn’t just remain quiet. “He said… I can’t. I can’t tell you.”
“Say it. I have to know now.”
“Well, he came home one day after a fight, and he was all riled up, and he said something…”
“Dear God woman, just say it!”
Delta closed her eyes so she didn’t have to face her own mortification when she blurted out, “He said he needed to…squirt.” She peeked one eye open.
Nathan’s face was comically blank. “Come again?”
“He said he needed to squirt,” she repeated, barely resisting the urge to gag.
Nathan scratched his nose and scrunched up his face. “So, he wanted to fuck you after a fight, and that was the line he used?”
She pursed her lips and nodded.
“He actually said the word ‘squirt’?” He looked weirded-out when he said the word.
“Yep. It’s burned into my memory. I couldn’t get over it,” she admitted.
He just stared at her, appalled. And then suddenly he burst out laughing. He threw himself back on the bed beside her and curled in on himself with laughter.
“It’s not funny!” But a little laughter was working its way up her throat.
She couldn’t help it. He had the type of booming laugh that was contagious.
“He said squirt,” he gasped out between laughs. Nathan wiped his eyes and shook with his chuckles.
“You’re laughing at a low moment in my life. I was traumatized.”
“I bet you never fucked him again.”
“I wouldn’t even let him kiss me, and I ended things three days later.
And before you tell me I’m shallow, there were a hundred other things that happened before the word that made me want to leave.
You asked for the last straw, and that was the last straw, but not the meat and potatoes of why we really broke up. ”
“He yelled at you,” he said, the smile dying from his voice. Nathan kept circling back to that part.
“He had a temper. He never hit me, but he liked to make me cower. Not at first, but the last year of our relationship, he did it more and more.”
“Squirt,” he murmured, his eyes still dancing.
“Being your friend is the worst,” she muttered.
“When we fuck, I’m going to say that word,” he teased.
“Well lucky for me you won’t ever fuck me.”
He got up and climbed over her, the humor fading from his face. He searched her eyes and now Delta’s heart was pounding so hard. She gripped his t-shirt and her breath shook.
“Are you going to let me…” he said, teasing her.
“I swear if you say that word, I will kick you out of here and never be your friend again.”
“Are you going to let me ssss,” he teased.
“Don’t say it.”
Nathan leaned down until his lips were right against her ear. She knew he would do it. He was going to say that awful word right against her ear because he knew it was an ick for her. She was already pre-mad at him for it.
Against her ear, he murmured, “Are you going to take your panties off for me Delta-girl? Are you going to let me fill you with my cum?”
Every molecule of anger she had conjured left her body along with all coherent thought.
“I won’t say the word,” he whispered. “I’m not him. I can make you forget him. Do you want to forget?”
She nodded slightly. She really did want that.
“Do you want to be a good girl? Good girls get treated like queens. You want me to open doors for you? Want me to protect you? Want me to make you scream my name and forget the world? Want me to bring home food and make sure you’re taken care of?”
Delta nodded. Maybe? All of that sounded pretty awesome.
“Then guess what you do?”
“Spread my legs for you?” she guessed in a shaky whisper.
Nathan’s response to those words was so delicious. He rolled his eyes closed, and a humming sound emanated from his chest as he rolled his hips against hers with a groan. “Say that again.”
“You just need me to spread my legs for you.”
He inhaled deeply and pushed her hands slowly above her head and rolled against her again. She bet she could come just like this—with him rubbing against her. Deltas body was so sensitive around him now.
“Are you still mad at me?” he asked softly.
“Y-yes.”
“Mmm. I can fix that.” His voice dripped with confidence. “Do you trust me?” he asked, squeezing her wrists above her head gently.
“No.”
He froze. Three seconds passed and then he eased up and searched her eyes. “Truth.”
She didn’t respond. She couldn’t. All intelligent thought had left her. The wickedness retreated from his smile. Nathan released his grip on her wrists and backed off her, then settled onto the edge of the bed, troubled eyes on her.
“Did you ever trust me?” he asked.
“Yes,” she said honestly, sitting up. God, she felt so exposed right now under that unblinking gaze of his.
“And the trust is gone in one day? Truly?”
“The trust is gone in one action,” she whispered. “Truly. You threw me away. What is to keep you from throwing me away again? Things got a little hard, and instead of staying in it with me and being my teammate, you tried to give me away.”
He blinked and dragged his gold gaze from her and stared at the wall. “I really hurt you.”
Delta wrapped her arms around her middle. She didn’t like this anymore. It wasn’t fun banter. This conversation was reminding her of what had happened between them that changed everything forever. “I think you should go.”
He inhaled sharply and stood, then made his way out the door, hesitated, and said, “Yeah.” And then he left and closed the door behind him.
The click of the wooden panel being set against the outside of the door was such a lonely sound, and it echoed through the room.
She felt as if a weight had settled onto her chest, and it was hard to draw a fair breath.
Delta listened as the engine of his truck roared to life, and she stayed still until she heard him drive down the road away from her den.
Nothing had changed since this morning. Sure, he was perhaps being more himself now, but he was still a stranger to her.
Hell, she was a stranger to her. Tonight, she hadn’t even recognized herself.
This was how it was supposed to be. He was supposed to leave. She should’ve never let him in, but she’d been riding the high from the night. She’d made a mistake.
As her ears remained perked up, listening for any sign that he would return and fix this, a sudden sensation of loneliness consumed her.
Nothing had gone to plan.
Nothing at all.