Chapter Thirteen
One week.
Seven days.
One hundred and sixty-eight eternal hours. Technically one hundred and sixty-nine hours and eighteen minutes.
Why was she so nervous?
Delta hovered her finger over the unblock button. This was so stupid. She’d blocked and unblocked Nathan about fifty times this week and he hadn’t even known. If he’d tried to text, she had no idea. She had a feeling not.
As the days had dragged on, it had felt stupider and stupider that she’d even asked for this. Stupid, but in times of absolute clarity, necessary.
She’d had seven days to realize she had it bad for Nathan. This was not a normal amount of missing a man. She thought about him constantly and inside of her, the wolf pined for him.
Unblock. There. He’d probably found it easier each day to focus on himself and take the focus off her. He was probably in love with someone else by now. He’d probably been on seven dates by now, one for each night he hadn’t had to be ‘responsible’ for her. Yuck. She still hated that word.
She wasn’t anyone’s responsibility.
Nope, she had big plans to sit back and have a crush on Nathan from afar as they friend-zoned. Nory didn’t believe her, but she was going to see. Delta was going to be awesome at this.
The Pack meeting would start any minute now.
So far, it was just Liam and Nory, and Delta.
Nory was cooking a big spread for the Pack for the first ever Rogue Pack dinner.
It was also a housewarming party and celebration for Liam being out of jail.
That part was thanks to Nathan and the lawyer he’d hired.
Their house had been delivered a few days ago, and although they were still unpacking a bit, they’d cleaned up the living and dining area and kitchen for tonight.
Delta was Nory’s kitchen helper. She was learning!
She’d been working at the flower shop for three days, and for the last two days, Nory had invited her over after work and taught her how to cook the dishes she was making for Liam.
They got quality friend-time before Liam finished his shifts at the sawmill, and honestly?
It had done Delta good to get that girl-time.
Nory was very understanding of her roller coaster feelings about Nathan.
She’d provided an intelligent and mature sounding board for Delta.
“Nervous?” Nory asked as she hauled the silver pan of fettuccini alfredo to the dining table.
Liam glanced at her from where he was stoking the fire in the fireplace.
“Not nervous, but I do have a lot of excited energy. I don’t know. Maybe it’s nerves.”
“You’ll get used to being around him,” Liam promised. “He’s a good guy. He won’t make it harder than it has to be.”
“I know,” she said quietly. What she hadn’t told Liam was that she knew he was a good guy, and she missed his thoughtfulness. She missed everything about him.
A knock sounded at the door, but Delta already knew it wasn’t Nathan. She’d heard Vic’s truck pull up. Dodger, Tabian, and Bridger were just pulling up to park too.
She wondered if Nathan was even coming. Maybe he didn’t want to be around her at all.
Something about that thought dragged the smile from her lips. She looked down at herself and straightened out her shirt. She’d totally dressed up for Nathan tonight, but she would die before she ever admitted that aloud.
She made her way to the door with Nory to greet the other Pack members and forced a smile at them as they made small talk. She glanced out the door and checked the entrance to the clearing, but Nathan wasn’t coming up the road that she could hear.
“Hey, has anyone heard from Nathan?” she asked nonchalantly.
“Oh, yeah,” Dodger said, “He’s not coming tonight.”
“Oh.” She lowered her gaze so no one would see the disappointment etched onto her face.
“I saw that,” Dodger said, sitting at the table next to her. “And I was just kidding. He messaged the loop that he’s running late at work.”
“Work,” she uttered. “He got a job?”
Dodger shrugged. “Same job. They took him back and gave the prick a promotion and a raise. Some guys have all the luck.”
“Luck has nothing to do with it,” Liam said, scooping out a heaping portion of pasta onto a plate.
“He worked his way up for years and they didn’t want to let him go when the Elders broke up our Pack.
They gave him an offer that will make him want to stick around.
It’s good business. Nate practically runs the company there. ”
“Yeah yeah, he’s lucky for other reasons too,” Dodger said, staring at Delta.
He was already getting on her nerves, so she got up from the table and announced, “I’m going to get some fresh air.”
She shut the front door behind her and pressed her palms against the cold wood.
With a sigh she closed her eyes and reveled in the relief of being out of a crowded room with a bunch of dominant werewolves.
Nory and her magic omega-ness would keep them all calm enough, but it was still hard to breathe in small spaces with them.
Sometimes Delta hated that she’d been born with a submissive wolf.
Even shy, human Nory was more dominant than her. She could feel it.
A sound tickled her sensitive ears, and Delta turned and listened harder. There it was. That was Nathan’s truck picking its way up the hill.
Her heart drummed faster inside of her chest. She rushed to the window on the front porch, and made sure her hair looked okay in the reflection there, until she noticed all of the Pack had frozen at dinner inside, and were staring at her through the front window. Ha. Oops.
Delta waved awkwardly and turned to see Nathan’s truck through the trees.
She jogged down the steps and came to stand by her 4Runner. She didn’t even know why she’d driven it over here instead of walking. The cabin was just across the clearing. Maybe for the excuse to drive it. She loved that 4Runner and was proud of it. She liked that it was parked by the boys’ trucks.
Nathan pulled his truck up next to hers and parked, and her heart pounded even harder.
She walked around the front and waited for him to get out. He shut the door and stood facing her, still, his eyes bright gold. No smile existed on his lips though, and hers fell too.
She backed off a few steps and kicked at the snow. “Hi.”
He cleared his throat. “Hello.” His voice was too gravelly, like his wolf was riled up.
“H-how was work?” She dared a look up at him. God, he looked hot tonight.
He wore a black T-shirt and black jeans over black boots. The glint of a pocketknife was clipped just inside his pocket. He was wearing a charcoal gray beanie, and his beard was thicker than she’d ever seen it. She liked it a lot more than when he’d been clean-shaven.
“Work was good. Hectic.” He glanced up at the front door, and back at her. Right. He probably wanted to get inside and out of this awkward conversation she’d created.
“You look really good,” she blurted out, then dropped her gaze. “I like when you wear a beanie. And you smell good.”
“What are you doing?” he asked, grabbing a six pack of beer out of the back seat.
Valid question. “I don’t know.”
“You told me to leave you alone, and then you blocked me.”
“How do you know I blocked you?”
He didn’t answer but she already knew. He’d tried to text her. She felt awful.
“How was your week?” she asked, trying to keep him in the conversation with her.
He swallowed hard and scratched the back of his head, tucked his chin to his chest. “I’m going to go inside.”
The cold distance that existed between them now hurt in ways she hadn’t expected.
“Hey, Nathan?”
He stopped on the stairs with a sigh and turned for her, then waited, his glowing gold eyes trained on her.
“Are you okay?”
“You know, I used to hate when you asked me that.”
“Oh. Oh yeah. I forgot. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize.” His muscular chest pushed against the fabric of his shirt as he inhaled deeply. “It’s actually nice to be asked that.”
“Oh,” she said again. “Um, are you okay? Really?”
He felt so different now. Hotter. Bigger. Better.
He hung his head. “Honestly, it’s been the worst week of my life. I haven’t slept. My head is so fucked up over everything. I’m trying to learn new things at my job but all I can think about is if you are doing okay, so no. I don’t feel okay. Not even a little.”
“Is it because of me?” she asked softly.
“Yes.” Truth.
An ache washed though her. “I’m sorry if I’m doing something wrong.”
“Can’t you see?” he gritted out. “You do everything right. I fucked up and now I have to pay for it. That’s not on you. It’s on me.”
She didn’t know what else to say about that, so she changed the subject, hoping to keep him here with her a little longer.
“Liam said you are killing it as Second. He said you’ve stepped up with everything.
He said the reason we have electricity up here is because you made it happen.
Said you are fixing the court stuff for him too. ”
Nathan shrugged. “Being Second is easy. Work is easy. Shutting down is easy.”
“I’m not easy,” she said low.
He shook his head and offered a half smile and a huff that almost, almost sounded like a laugh. “No, Delta, you aren’t easy. It’s probably why you’re so interesting.”
“You think I’m interesting?”
“Are we to the part where you’re fishing for compliments directly after I told you I’ve been tortured by the thought of you for a week?”
She shrugged up one shoulder. “Maybe?”
And now his smile was bigger and reached his glowing eyes.
“Okay, here is a compliment. You look sexy, and if we weren’t just friends, I’d shove you in my truck, drive directly to your cabin,” he said, pointing, “And I would bend you over the couch and fuck the shit out of you. I would make sure you never asked me to stay away from you for a week again. I want all of you, and I can see exactly how valuable you are now. But…” He let his hand drop. “We’re just friends.”