Chapter Seven
What in the dickens was she looking at?
Tru took another bite of her salad on her lunch break, and studied the chiseled, shirtless Tabian chopping wood in a video online.
He was standing in front of a sprawling tent with state-of-the-art tables and camp chairs he’d put together before he’d removed his T-shirt and began chopping wood for the masses.
He’d just posted it three days ago, and already, it had half a million views.
Tru blinked hard. She understood the thirstiness. Tabian was the hottest man on the entire internet. The comments were wild though. They ranged from hate-filled anti-werewolf rhetoric to women describing the things they would do to him in the bedroom. And some men too.
There were hundreds of comments. Literally hundreds. She scrolled down and down, searching for the end and stopping to read the occasional one that had a bunch of likes on it.
The icons of these outwardly approving women showed they were gorgeous.
A wave of insecurity washed over Tru. What was she doing?
This man could have anyone he wanted. He probably had a hundred open messages to women and was clearly luring them in with thirst traps.
She backed out of the video and clicked on another, posted two weeks ago.
He was at least wearing a shirt in this one.
It was a video of him cooking a meal of steak and a vegetable medley over a miniature woodburning stove with a metal chimney that piped out through a hole at the top of the two-room tent.
Stuffed mushrooms were cooking off to the side.
He flashed his bright blue eyes at the camera and then leaned in and narrowed his eyes at the screen.
For fart’s sake, this man was a demigod.
He said, “Tabianfan43 is asking why I don’t ever show my girlfriend in my videos.
” He gave a cocky boy smile and went back to cooking, flipping the vegetables in the cast iron pan.
“Well, Tabianfan, that’s because I don’t have one.
A mate is something I’ve never thought about picking up and probably never will.
Besides, how pissed off would all of you hookers be if I showed up here with a woman?
Be honest ladies, would you be happy for us?
Or would you decimate her? I know how you she-wolves are. Cutthroat, the lot of you.”
Out of curiosity, Tru read the first comment. Cutthroat is right, slice slice. A knife emoji was involved. You know you would have the detectives on here finding out everything about her. You’re smart to not pair up. You belong to us.
Tru’s eyes went wide and her heart pounded a little harder as she clicked out of that video’s comments in a rush. She sat there staring at her glowing phone screen, and the beginnings of the realization of how big his online life was.
This couldn’t work.
She was a scorned woman with insecurities up to her eyeballs, and Tabian was a player.
She’d been so stupid.
She exited off his channel completely and pushed the phone away from her, staring at it like it was a snake. It felt dangerous.
Being around werewolves was intoxicating and she’d gotten all wrapped up in it last night, but here, on her lunch break, outside at a picnic table with no one here to influence how she felt, she could think clearly.
All male werewolves were players.
Bay had been right to be wary on her behalf.
She made stupid decisions and tethered herself to dead-end men.
Where could this relationship go, huh? She could never go camping with him.
She would have to hide every time the camera light was blinking that it was on.
She would have to be his big secret, or the internet culture he’d created would revolt and target her.
He would lose followers, and she would be judged online, and he would resent her and leave her just like Zane had done.
Everyone left, and this was clearly the beginning of the end.
Her phone vibrated and the screen lit up with a text.
Speaking of the thirst-trapping devil himself, Tabian was messaging her.
Feeling shaky, she dragged her phone toward her and read it.
I got camp all set up and then realized my camera isn’t working.
I fixed it but I have to break camp down and re-do it.
It’s a sign. I should’ve cancelled and just roped you into hanging with me after you get off work tonight.
Maybe sometime you can take a few days off and come camping with me.
Do you like camping? You can bring Bay if you want.
A picture came through and it was a gas station coffee in his hand with a view behind it of the mountains outside the front window of his truck.
He seemed to be in a parking lot. I drove twenty miles to get some B-minus coffee and some cell phone service so I could text you.
You’re probably working right now, you badass vampire, but I just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you, and I can’t wait to get back.
Oh, he texted before she could even finish reading the last one. I really like kissing you. Been thinking about it all damn day. Probably why I didn’t notice my camera wasn’t recording. I’ll come back out to this gas station after you get off work and try to call you.
Well…Tru was struggling to hold onto her anger at herself. He was actually being nice, but…
I bet you’re texting ten other girls at that gas station. Send.
Ummm, what? His message came back almost immediately.
This isn’t going to work. Send.
A call vibrated her phone. It was Tabian.
She denied it.
No, no, no, he texted. You do not get to light me up for something I’m not doing and then ignore my call to fix it.
I’m not doing this, Tru. I’m not going back to my campsite pissed off and confused and obsessing about what I did wrong all day.
Answer my call and woman up about getting onto me.
I have a right to listen and then say my piece.
I’m not doing this texting back and forth shit.
He called again, and you know? It had grated on her nerves that he told her to ‘woman up.’ He wanted this smoke? Fine.
She accepted the call and immediately said, “I’ve been looking at your YouTube page.”
He snorted. “It’s wild, right?”
“And all the women, and the video about how you can’t post a girlfriend—”
“Because I didn’t have a girlfriend when I posted that, and also still don’t have a girlfriend because you keep freakin’ out on me so I can’t get us to that stage.”
“Well…” That was an unexpected response, and she needed to reformulate her anger. “I’m toxic.”
“No, you’re not. You saw my videos and saw how crazy the women are in my comments, and you made assumptions about who I am as a man. You’re not toxic, you were just hurt by some asshole and now I have to pay for his bullshit for a while until you figure out you’re safe with me. Here.”
A flurry of images vibrated her phone, and Tru pulled it away from her face to open the first one.
It was a screenshot of his messages. In every one, she could see the first line of the message, and it was all from thirsty men and women.
None of them were highlighted with his response.
She opened the next image, and it was the same.
She opened the next and the next, and before she could say, “I bet you deleted messages,” Tabian told her, “I haven’t ever deleted a message.
I haven’t needed to. I haven’t been interested in a woman in a long time.
Furthermore, when I first started this channel, I did toy with the idea of talking to a woman I thought was cool in my comments, and do you know what she did?
She screenshotted our conversation and posted it and got a bunch of likes and attention and everyone was running with the story about how she’s my mate, and bla bla bla.
I learned a real swift lesson, Tru. I don’t like the internet stuff.
Not even a little bit. I like meeting a pretty woman in a coffee shop and talking to her while she sits on a curb and seeing her eyes when I say something nice or surprising to her, and hearing about her stepson from her pretty lips and watching her laugh with my friends while she drinks red wine out of cheap plastic glasses, and tells me how bad I am at centering a television mount, not realizing that I’m doing it poorly on purpose just so she will teamwork something with me longer.
I have messaged exactly one person while I’m sitting at this gas station parking lot, that I drove to with the express intention of messaging that one woman, and she texted me back, and I quote, ‘I bet you’re texting ten other girls at that gas station.
’” He inhaled audibly. “You know all morning long while I was making camp, I was thinking about the gear I am going to ask for from sponsors so that you are more comfortable out there?”
Well, she felt like dirt. No, she felt lower than dirt. She felt like the feces of an amoeba that lived in the dirt. “I’m sorry,” she murmured.
“Don’t apologize, Tru. I’m not fragile and I get that you were hurt.
This career is something I set up with no intention of ever having to meld a life with a woman.
It just makes me buckets of money. It’s a stupid amount, and its easy.
I take my shirt off every third episode and let the viewers see my wolf eyes.
I say something charming every once in a while, and they stay in it.
I can manage the hate comments, and the porn-wolf comments, but this part doesn’t feel right.
You’re supposed to be having a good day at work and you’re feeling like I’m betraying you in some way instead. ”
“I know I’m a lot,” she said softly.
“You’re really not—”
“Let me say it.” Tabian went quiet, so Tru continued.
“I’m probably going to look for everything that feels familiar and look for excuses to run because you terrify me.
I’m unsure of my own decision-making skills after a really hard few years, and after losing everything, and I’m scared of ignoring red flags and falling for you too fast, and all the things. ”
“Okay,” he said simply in that deep velvet voice of his.
“Okay?”
“You know when a horse trainer starts working with a young colt, they don’t go throw the saddle onto them immediately and ask for a ride. They have to ease into it and build trust.”
“Are you comparing me to a horse right now?” she asked.
“You compared me to a fuck boy.”
Touché. “Continue.”
“I’m not in a rush, Tru. We just met, you barely know me, you do not have my instincts or feelings, you are human and need to take things slower.
So okay. If you need to light me up for whatever your beautiful overthinking little head is doing with Tabian-story-time?
I’m going to be open with how it actually is until you don’t get scared anymore. ”
“And if I never stop being scared?”
“Well, then you can run and I won’t stop you, but can I tell you something?”
“Anything,” she murmured softly.
“You’re going to feel safe with me. You are safe, your nervous system just hasn’t figured it out yet and fuck that guy who put you through whatever happened to make you so unsure of yourself. He needs the shit kicked out of him.”
Her bottom lip trembled and her eyes burned a little. She’d never had a man be so understanding about an insecurity. “I’m a mess.”
“We’re all a mess, Tru.”
“I can’t figure out if I met you at the perfect timing, or the worst timing.”
“Explain.”
“Did I meet you now so you could teach me to trust again, and bring me back to life? Or did I meet you too early when I’m not healed enough yet and this is just another character-building phase of my life.”
“That will be determined by how long you stick around.”
Her alarm went off on her phone, and she puffed air out of her cheeks as she turned it off. “I have to go back inside for work. I was on my lunch break.”
“Okay well send me a picture of you in your scrubs so I can jack off to it.”
“Tabian!” she squeaked, looking around fast to make sure none of her co-workers had sat down at the tables near her while she wasn’t paying attention.
“I’m not taking it back. Scrubs. Pull the neckline down low. I fucking miss you.”
Her smile stretched her face, and heat touched her cheeks. She looked around again, but she was alone out here. She held up her phone and snapped a quick picture and then sent it to him. “It doesn’t have a filter on it and the sunlight is really bright. Don’t judge it too hard.”
“Woman, I just made that my lock screen. Never use filters. You don’t need them. Go get all the blood out of all the people. What time do you get off?”
“Four.”
“Want to call me on your way home so Bay doesn’t hear?”
Her heart was wrapping around him a little more. He was very understanding of her not being ready for them to meet. “Yes, I would like that.”
“Okay, I’m going to go film until then. I’ll come back up here at four.”
“Hey Tabian?”
“Yeah?”
“I really like you.”
“I could tell. You got more jealous than a she-wolf.”
An accidental giggle escaped her. “Sorry about that.”
“Don’t be. I like you protective. You want to get all possessive and territorial?” he said in a low sultry voice. “Go on then. Apparently, I enjoy that shit. You just told me you like me and set boundaries on other females. I’m gonna get you, Tru. Just wait.”
Chills rippled up her forearms, and she drew her knees up to her chest as she squeezed the phone tighter to her ear. “Be safe.”
“Yep. Talk soon.”
“Okay, bye.”
“Bye. Tru?” he asked before she could hang up.
“Yeah?”
“You terrify me too.”