Chapter Eight #3
“And they’re my decisions to make. You’re barely sixteen, Bay!
I know you think you know everything. When I was your age, I thought I knew everything too.
I thought I was freaking invincible, but then I grew up and life happened.
You feel like I didn’t learn my lesson from your dad, Bay, but you don’t understand my hurt over all of that because I didn’t talk about it.
You were a kid who deserved to remain a kid and not deal with all of this adult bullshit.
But since you feel like you have a right to have a say in my romantic life, you can also know how it was for me.
I was destroyed. You lost your dad and had to accept the awful truths about him as a man, but for me?
I was tricked, and used, and teased, and cheated on, and hidden, and made a fool of while my focus was on being at home with you and making sure you were okay.
On the bad nights where he was blowing up my phone controlling every thought I had in my head, while he was out with who knows how many women, I was trying to make it look as steady as possible for you, while I was falling apart!
While he chased away my lifelong friend group, and made them not only not recognize me, but hate me.
While he made me hate myself! You don’t think I’m smart enough to improve my decisions, but I was the one who felt all of that, and I am the one who would do anything to never feel that way again.
Tabian doesn’t feel like your father. Do you know, I talked to him in that coffee shop and immediately asked him to meet you? And Tabian was up for it!”
“Meet me? Why?”
“Because we need a support system! You can’t be Rogue all your life, Bay.
You were raised in Packs. That structure makes sense to you and your animal.
It’s my responsibility to find some kind of safety net for you.
I know that for you, I’m just the stupid gullible human that your dad picked to take you in.
I know it. I can tell by the way you never tell me you love me back.
I can tell by the way you hate listening to me, and you’re combative with every little thing.
I can see that ‘you’re not my mom’ attitude every day.
But for me? I’m honored to be your stepmom.
I’m honored to have legal guardianship over you.
I’m honored to be a part of your story because it’s going to be a great story, Bay!
” The tears were flowing now. “I know it will be one hell of a story. I will make sure it is.”
“Tabian is a Rogue too,” he grumbled, but it was half-hearted arguments now, and she could tell he was listening at least a little. He was having a harder time glaring at her face with tears on her cheeks.
“And your dad wasn’t technically a Rogue, and he got kicked out of how many Packs?”
“What’s your point?” he said softly.
“Rogue or Pack member, no one is perfect. We all have baggage, Bay. But if you don’t give people a chance, you will ensure that you are alone forever, and that isn’t the life I want for either one of us.
I remember what it was like to have friends.
I remember how much I liked myself around those friends.
I haven’t had that feeling until I met Tabian and his people. ”
Bayen pursed his lips and stared at the tile in the kitchen. “What do you want from me?”
“I want you to meet him.”
“Jesus, Trudy,” he gritted out, turning for the microwave to take his steaming food out.
“Meet him and then you can decide whether to do your ultimatum on me or not. Meet him and then I will respect what you want.”
“Fine. Whatever.” He took his plate toward his room.
“Hey, just so you know, you didn’t hide your hurt very well.
” He tapped his ear. “I have great hearing. I heard every time you cried yourself to sleep over my asshole dad. I wanted to kill him. If this guy hurts you, I’ll want to do the same.
Fair warning.” His eyes flashed that bright molten gold before he shut the door to his room.
Tru sank down onto the couch and huffed a breath out of her lungs. She wiped her damp cheeks with the back of her hand. She was a terrible stepmom. This was her moment of acceptance.
She might be the worst in the history of the world.
There was no way every conversation with a teenager was supposed to be this draining or frustrating. She wasn’t good at this. Tru could have the best intentions, and Bay would still leave angry, and with the last word.
Irritated, she scratched the side of her neck and stomped toward her room.
She was done with today. Done with Bay’s emotional teenager boy roller coaster, done with patience, done with insecurities, done with everything.
Bay would meet Tabian and Tabian would realize right away how crappy she was at this parenting-gig. He would lose interest. Of course he would! This was her freaking destiny—to make all the wrong decisions that drained her life and set herself up for hurt.
She plucked her phone from the bed and connected a call to Tabian, hoping he would still be where there was reception.
He answered on the second ring.
“Hey.”
“What’s wrong?” he asked immediately.
She puffed air out of her cheeks and rolled her head back, staring at the ceiling. “Can we hang out tomorrow when you get home? We need to talk.”
“Oh God, are you ending this? Why do you sound upset? Fuck, it was the video, wasn’t it? Look, I can edit it out and repost without me saying the word ‘mate.’”
“No, no, no. I love that.” Should she warn him about Bay, the prickly little cactus of a teenager? She didn’t know if she had it in her tonight. “I think it’s time you meet Bayen.”
“Wait, really?” Oh, that poor man sounded excited.
He had no idea. “Whoa this is getting serious. This is awesome. What does he like? Legos? Should I get him a present? A baseball glove maybe? Fuck, what did my dad used to do with me? God, why am I nervous all of the sudden? Should I get us tickets to a football game?”
And just like that, Tabian settled her nervous system. A meeting with Bay wasn’t going to go the way he imagined. Not at all. But she loved that Tabian wasn’t scared off by her having a stepson, and that he was excited by the prospect of meeting him.
Not all men were like that.
“Maybe let’s just meet up first and see how you respond to him. Also, he watches your channel.”
“Really? Should I do a shoutout to him?” he asked.
“Absolutely not. Meet him first. He’s got the demeanor of a honey badger with a bee sting directly in his eye, that slept on the wrong side of the bed, had a bad week at work, fell down some stairs and landed in front of his crush, got dumped, and ran out of snacks.”
“I can hear you,” Bay yelled through the wall.
“Oh, he’s giving you hell today?” Tabian guessed.
“Every day,” she said with an empty stare for the wall that separated her bedroom from Bay’s. “He gives me hell every single day.”
A deep chuckle reverberated through the phone. “Well, I still can’t wait to meet him. And I can’t wait to see you. Been missing you a little bit.”
“Just a little bit?”
“I’m trying to play it cool so you don’t run away.”
She snorted. “Okay I’ll play it cool too then. I kind of miss you too.”
Barfing sounds could be heard from Bay’s room, but Tru chose to ignore it.
When they said their goodnights and got off the phone, Tru hung up and glared at the wall separating her bedroom from Bay’s.
He was one-hundred-percent about to purposefully ruin what she was building with Tabian, and she was still confused on the reasons why.