Chapter Nineteen #2
The episode opened up on Tabian sitting down in a chair at his home.
His eyes were glowing bright blue, and he looked thoughtful.
He rubbed his hands together and began, locking his eyes on the camera.
“Some of you are going to unsubscribe from this channel after this. I hope not, but I have a feeling. The internet is strange sometimes, and having a channel, you have to figure out how much to share, and how much to leave mysterious. I am going to admit something that werewolves and humans alike are going to be able to relate to. Sometimes I get lonely.” He paused and nodded, eyes still locked on the camera.
“I was lonely for a long time.” He relaxed back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. “I feel like for a long time I was just waiting, but I didn’t know what for, you know?
Something was missing. It was like this hole inside of my chest, and the only thing that quieted it for a little while was being out in the woods staying busy.
Building these little temporary dens that kept me on the move.
The emptiness couldn’t hit a moving target, right?
But the second I would slow down or take a day off, or edit videos, or try to sleep, the hole inside of me yawned open again.
There was no getting rid of it.” He pursed his lips into a thin line and looked so thoughtful.
“You know how sometimes something happens in your life that opens your eyes? I think that happened to me. I have so much to be thankful for, but I was too busy staying busy to take stock of the good. To appreciate my Pack. To understand what I’d built.
” He shrugged his muscular shoulders up to his ears.
“And then I met someone, and she feels like…well…” He leaned forward again and ran his hand down his short beard.
“Let me just show you.” He reached for the camera, and before the monologue cut, he said, “This is probably going to be the only episode like this. Stay with me, okay?”
The scene cut to snippets of old videos from other campsites he’d done before he’d met Tru, but they were one second snippets of him staring off into space.
His face was so serious. He would be looking at trees.
Sitting by the fire alone. Skipping rocks in rivers by himself.
Staring at the tent. Leaning against his truck eating a granola bar with a faraway look on his face.
It went on for a full minute, faster and faster snippets that just gave a feeling of desolation. Of aloneness. Of solitude.
And then it cut to the camping trip with Tru and Bay.
They weren’t on camera, but a song began playing, and his eyes were following something behind the cameras.
The smile stayed on his lips. When he spoke, she could tell he was teasing.
He laughed in four quick snippets in a row.
And then Tru showed up, slumped shoulders, pouting out her bottom lip as she shuffled to him and fell into his offered hug.
She remembered this. She’d dropped the carton of eggs and broken half of them.
She was apologizing, but Tabian was laying kisses all over her face.
Next, they were cleaning up eggshells together, laughing.
Next was Bay holding the drone out and Tabian hitting the right button to get it airborne off his hand.
Next was the drone footage of them grinning up at it, and Tru clapping for them.
Next was Tabian’s attempt at putting her hair into a high ponytail as they sat by the fire.
It looked awful and she had made a silly face at the camera as he cracked up behind her.
Next was a close up of Bay’s face as he watched them with this soft smile on his lips.
Next was Bay tapping her shoulder and then moving out of the way before she saw him while Tabian filmed himself cooking.
She’d thought it was a spider and took off high-knee running.
The Rogue Pack was chuckling around them.
Next, she came out of the tent wearing one of Tabian’s hoodies that hung down to her knees.
He approached her, his lips moving with whatever he was saying, and he splayed his legs to be more eye-level and pulled her hood up, then cupped her cheeks and laid a kiss on her lips.
He walked away, still talking, and the film zoomed in on the softness in her eyes as she watched him.
Oooh, her heart. Even she could see the love she had for him in this. Her eyes prickled.
Next was a montage of moments between she and Bay, where he was watching her, or moved to help her in ways she hadn’t realized at the time.
Catching a napkin she dropped before it hit the dirt and handing it back to her.
Moving the chair so she could sit closer to the fire.
It cut to the hard conversation they’d had over s’mores, and the way she’d looked at Bay with her heart in her eyes.
“I told him he could use it,” Bay said softly to her. “As long as he took the volume off of it.”
Emotionally, she squeezed his hand and released it, then wiped her eyes.
Tabian was showing her the love Bay had for her. He was showing her the love Tabian had for her. How could any of her insecurities as a guardian hold when she was watching Bay lay dandelion flowers outside the tent and sitting beside it like he wanted to be close to them.
The next scene was absolute chaos. It was the Rogue Pack walking past one of the cameras one by one, each holding camping supplies and chattering. The good vibes were top tier.
A montage of Bay jabbing jokes with the guys, of them racing to the water, drone footage of Bridger’s campsite across the river while Liam talked to him by his fire.
There was a scene with them all by the campfire cracking up as Vic played an out of tune guitar badly that he’d bought from a pawn shop.
Earline’s cage was sitting right by his boot.
There was a close-up of Bay holding Earline’s cage, talking to her.
The hamster was wearing a little pink sweater.
It was s’mores with the Pack, them cooking over the open fire together, the girls by the fire when she’d told them about Vic being her mate.
There was a hike where the Rogue Pack walked by a camera one by one, and at the end was her and Tabian, talking as he walked with her with his arm thrown over her shoulder.
There was a zoomed in scene of Bay doctoring a cut she’d got from a thorny plant on her shin.
The others stood loosely around, and Vic and Dodger were having an epic stick battle in the background.
Next was a scene with Tru sitting in front of Delta’s camp chair as she braided her hair.
The girls had all matched braids that morning.
Tru had her face tilted back and her eyes closed while Delta braided, and near them, Tabian was sitting down drinking coffee, just watching her face with this loving look on his face.
Bay and Vic were shadow boxing in the background.
A tear slipped to Tru’s cheek as she realized what she really had found. What she really had.
This was it.
This was it for her and Bay.
They’d found it.
They’d found where they belonged.
She inhaled shakily and leaned her cheek against Tabian.
“Is it okay?” he whispered.
“I love it,” she murmured thickly.
She could feel Bay’s attention. He would look at her and glance back at the screen. At her, and then to the screen. On the fourth one, he handed her a napkin and said, “Don’t cry, Tru.”
“It’s good tears, buddy.”
The episode cut to the interview space in Tabian’s house again, and he was leaning back in the chair staring off thoughtfully.
“I think I see things clearly now. Lately I can’t feel the hole inside of me anymore.
” He locked those bright blue eyes on the camera.
“I know humans have their feelings on me and my kind. Not so many here, you are open-minded and for the most part, kind to me about what I am. But my lady is human, and I watch her raising a young werewolf, and the effort she’s making, and the way she fits in with my people, and I understand her easier than I thought I would understand humans.
And I guess lately I think we aren’t so different, you know?
I know some of you will see I have a mate, and bounce.
You’ll see my Pack and it’ll be too much for you.
Maybe. I don’t know. We’ve got a hell of a Crew here, don’t we?
I figured it was time to share the real stuff.
I’ll get us back to normal episodes soon, but this felt right.
I guess I just wanted to talk to all of you.
This is me and mine. I don’t miss the lonely.
” He smiled and leaned forward. “If you leave, know that I have appreciated every minute you have spent with me, watching my content, supporting me, and just being cool-ass humans. I’m a fan of you now and always. ”
The scene cut to an evening shot of all of them lined up on the river together, skipping rocks. Bay was chucking huge rocks into the water with Vic and Dodger, and Tabian was teaching Tru and Destiny how to skip them. It was slow motion of them. No more Tabian skipping rocks alone.
The episode ended with the usual logo and advertisement to like and subscribe to Tabian’s Wolf Outdoors channel.
The lights turned on, and Tru buried her face against Tabian’s chest as the Rogue Pack was clapping and cheering.
He was hugging her so tightly. “Is it okay?”
“It’s my new favorite movie,” she admitted thickly. “I’m going to watch it a hundred times.”
He chuckled and leaned forward to fist bump Bay’s offered fist.
“Dude, I don’t think you’re losing that many subscribers,” Vic said, watching his phone. “The comments are mostly asking for more episodes like this. I don’t see any negative comments yet!”
This was the part where she was supposed to feel exposed right?
She was supposed to be mortified by her lack of make-up, and the giant hoodie she was wearing for half the episode.
The floppy messy bun and silly faces she made.
She was imperfect in every scene, but she’d seen the times Tabian had been watching her with such adoration in his eyes.
He looked at her like she was perfect, and she felt so empowered and confident right now.
She didn’t feel exposed at all. She felt happy that this video existed in the universe, and honored she was a part of those wholesome moments with a group of werewolves who had been so epically misunderstood.
Hell yes to this life.
As she sat there in the happy chaos, eating pizza and blabbing with the Rogue Pack, between her favorite boys, she realized what Tabian was really giving her.
He had gone all in with her, never hesitating or making her question herself or his intentions.
He had introduced her proudly to his Pack and asked them to love her back.
He’d seen what Bay needed and was stepping up to be that.
And none of it seemed to burden him. He seemed happy to fix all the little broken parts of their lives.
His video showed his joy with them. His comfort. His pride in them.
He was owning his life on a grand scale, and she was a big part of it.
She was honored and proud too.
Sometimes family wasn’t blood. Sometimes a person had to go through a lot for a long time to land where they were supposed to be, and to appreciate it properly.
She knew how special this life was, because she’d been on the other side where life felt like nothing but darkness.
She and Bay were going to be all right.
Because of Tabian, and this wild Pack of werewolves, she and Bay were going to be more than okay.
Tabian smiled down at her and kissed her lips, then pushed a strand of loose hair behind her ear. “I can feel your happiness.”
Tru leaned against him and hugged his waist tightly as she watched Bay and Breah joking with Vic and Dodger and Delta. “I was supposed to find you,” she whispered.
And she knew he could hear the truth in her voice.
She was meant to be the mate of Tabian. She’d just had to walk through hell to get here.
So. Damn. Worth it.