Chapter Eleven
“You have to take a break,” Destiny said softly.
Lyric had been staring at the fire in the hearth of her and Dodger’s home, but at the sound of her friend’s voice, she forced her gaze from the flames and looked at her. “I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not. You’re exhausted.”
Lyric sighed and stood, then tied her apron strings around the back.
She’d picked up a waitressing job in the month since the battle with Cian and Traydon.
She was living in the small loft of Vic’s unfurnished home, and every day was the same.
She picked up as many shifts as she could, rarely took the day off, and came home afterward to Change with Vic.
Oh, she knew the Pack was worried. She could feel it coming off them in waves. She could hear it in the whispers.
“I think you have to consider the possibility—”
“No,” Lyric said.
“Lyric, I get it. If Dodger was stuck in his wolf form, I would be out there with him every day too. But if this is a long-term thing, you can’t keep Changing every day. Your body is wrecked.”
“I’m tough,” Lyric said lightly, forcing a smile.
“Lyric,” Destiny whispered, her heart in her eyes.
“He will come back—”
“He’s no closer—”
“He will. He will come back to me.”
“Not when he has no reason to.”
Lyric frowned. That stung. “What does that mean?”
“You go spend every day with him. He never has to miss you too long.”
Her eyes burned and Lyric hung her head and retied her apron tighter.
She’d been losing weight. Every muscle in her body hurt and her organs were aching lately.
She didn’t tell the Pack that part. Liam would order her to stop Changing, and she couldn’t stomach that.
She needed to be with Vic in the only way she could now—as a wolf.
“Liam wants to order him to Change back again.”
“It didn’t work the other three times. What makes now any different?
” Lyric asked tiredly. “I can’t even smell his human side anymore.
I think that shot to his head broke something in him.
I’ve never even heard of a wolf staying in this form for this long, Destiny.
I think…” She swallowed hard and closed her eyes.
She shook her head hard and blew out a long breath, trying not to cry again.
Be strong. “I think this is just our life now.”
“Look, I think you’ve been through so much, and there hasn’t been a lot of time for you to process and cope.”
“I have way too much time. I can’t sleep. I lay up there alone in his loft, remembering every moment we were together. I remember every touch. It shouldn’t be like this so fast, right? I barely know him.”
Destiny shook her head and tugged at Lyric’s hand to sit on the couch next to her. “That’s not now a Mating Bond works, and you know it. No one here is going to judge how fast you fell in love with Vic. We all understand. Well, except for Tabian.”
Lyric huffed a laugh and rolled her head back onto the cushion. “Tabian is the king of the insults.”
“Yeah, well he’s the only one who doesn’t know what a Mating Bond feels like.”
“Bridger is single too.”
“Bridger is a widower.”
Lyric snapped her attention to Destiny. “Wait what?” she asked.
“Rumor is he lost a mate.”
“Oooh my gosh,” Lyric whispered, sitting up straight again. “When?”
Destiny shrugged. “He won’t talk about it much.”
Lyric thought of the parts of Vic she’d lost, and she understood in a way. That was an ache you just endured. Who in their right mind would ever want to talk about a wound that severe?
“Do you want to know something so strange?” Lyric asked.
“Yes.”
“It’s Vic’s house I’m staying in. It’s his den.
I touch as little as possible, because it isn’t mine, but it feels so strange in there.
It doesn’t smell like him. He hasn’t decorated it, or moved in.
The home feels…empty. It’s just me up in the loft on a mattress on the ground, and Earl in his little cage, and the rest of the place just echoes. ”
“Maybe that’s how we help. Maybe we should move him in.”
“Maybe. I keep stopping at that general store down the street from where I work. You know the one?”
Destiny nodded. “The one by the gas station?”
“Yeah. I get paid mostly in tips, and I know I’m supposed to be saving for a car.
I know it. I’m supposed to free myself completely from my old Pack, and from my sister, and from the Elders.
I do know. But I stop at that store every time I finish my shift, and I buy little things for his home.
Pictures. Dish towels. Washrags. Food to stock the pantry.
Spices. Cleaning supplies, shower curtains, bathmats, and blankets.
I can’t help it. Sometimes it feels like I’m buying Vic little presents for when he comes back to his human skin.
But lately…” She swallowed hard and stared at her hands in her lap.
“Lately I pick up the items I want, and I put them back, because I don’t know if he will ever see them.
I walk out of the store empty-handed, and try not to cry in whoever’s car is picking me up that day to bring me back here. ”
“Oh, Lyric,” Destiny whispered sympathetically. “I wondered why you have me pick you up there sometimes instead of from your work.”
“I know it sounds silly, but I miss the hope, you know? I miss finding the perfect plate set and taking it to the counter, chatting with the check-out person, and carrying the bag out of the store, imagining how I will set it out on the counter so he can be so excited when he comes back. I think I’m getting tired, and I haven’t been imagining him coming back as much lately.
He seems so at home in the woods. I’m scared that Cian got Vic’s human side killed that day.
I’m supposed to be grateful that he still exists, so I feel selfish saying it, but I miss the way Vic’s arms felt around me,” she said in a small voice.
“I’m afraid I’ll never feel his arms again. ”
Tears spilled down her cheeks as Destiny pulled her in for a hug.
“That makes complete sense to me,” Destiny assured her. And sometimes that’s what a woman needed — reassurance. Validation on her feelings. Sometimes she just needed to be seen without judgement.
“I will never leave him, but I’m afraid I will spend the rest of my life missing him,” Lyric choked out.
“Oh girl,” Destiny uttered in a tear-stained voice.
“It doesn’t feel fair,” Lyric said on a breath.
“But then I think this is Karma, you know? I Turned all those wolves. And then I met Vic, and fell so hard, and this happens to him immediately? I barely had any time with him. Just enough to bond to him completely and what if you’re right?
What if this is long-term?” she asked easing out of Destiny’s hug.
“What if I only have the wolf for the rest of our lives? I’ll never have his babies.
I’ll never have a mating ceremony. I’ll never have his last name.
The wine tour when we finally schedule it?
I’m going to have so much fun with you girls, but I will think of him the entire time.
Everything I do for the rest of my life, I will wish he was there, making jokes, hauling around his little hamster, making me laugh, holding my hand.
When I see other couples kiss, I will be happy for them, but I will always, always think of Vic and wish all of him had survived. ”
Destiny wiped dampness off her cheeks and tried to smile.
“We have to have faith that he will find his way back to his human skin. It’s Vic.
He’s full of surprises.” Destiny clapped her hands on her knees.
“I think we need a break from all of this. It’s been really heavy on the entire Pack.
Let’s go ahead and schedule the wine tour, and take a day off work, and take a day away from here and just… breathe. And laugh.”
Lyric huffed a breath and rolled her eyes.
“I’m serious. You aren’t used to girls nights yet because you keep refusing our invites.
Girls nights are for laughter. It’s to be self-deprecating about the shit shows of our lives, and get everything off our chests, and cut loose.
The wine tour is the perfect way to get you out for a break. Okay?”
Lyric nodded. That actually sounded not-terrible.
“Yeah?” Destiny asked, gripping her shoulders. “You’re giving me the okay to schedule it?”
“Sure.”
Destiny squealed a high-pitched sound that grated on Lyric’s sensitive ears. Everything was amplified in her body right now, thanks to the constant Changes lately.
Lyric’s alarm went off on her phone. “I have to get going. Just let me know what day to take off and I can get my shift covered.”
“Okay, I’ll text you as soon as I figure out a day with the girls.” Destiny got up and started clearing their sandwich plates off the table.
Lyric made her way to the door but paused before she left. “Hey Destiny?”
“Yeah?” she asked.
“I’m glad we have the Maker Bond. I’m glad I have it with you, I mean.”
Destiny offered her a mushy smile. “You saved me, Lyric. I’ll never forget it. I have this life with Dodger because of you. Anything you need, I’ve got you.”
Lyric cleared her throat. “I don’t want you to owe me some kind of fealty just because of the Maker Bond though. I just like that you’re my friend also. So…the same thing goes for you. If you ever need anything, just ask. I want to be there for you in the same way.”
Destiny’s smile turned soft and pretty. “Okay.”
“See you after work.”
“Okay, are you sure you don’t need a ride today?”
“Nah, I have one lined up.” She had big plans on fixing the car situation tonight. She couldn’t lean on the Pack for rides forever.
“Okay, I’ll be on Vic’s porch waiting.”
Lyric snorted and left, closing the door gently behind her.
She’d wised up and given her location to the Pack on that location sharing app.
Destiny was the one who used it the most with Lyric.
Every day this week, she had meandered out of her and Dodger’s house just as Lyric was pulling up with a glass of lemonade and a smile on her face.
Destiny was one of those people who checked in on her friends and was sensitive to them when they were having a hard time.
That was rare in Lyric’s experience, and she appreciated her for it.
They would chat for a few minutes on Vic’s porch and Lyric would drink her lemonade, and she would head to the woods to Change for Vic.
Sometimes her shift ended in the daytime, and sometimes in the evening, or sometimes late at night, but morning or night, rain or shine, Destiny showed up with a smile and a ‘welcome home’ and a lemonade.
The more Destiny and the other females here showed her care, the less acceptable Eden’s behavior over the years had become.
Tonight would be hard on Lyric.
She hadn’t admitted it to Destiny, but she was heading to Coeur d’Alene Lake Pack territory tonight to tie up some loose ends. She’d thought about bringing the Pack for back-up, but for this, she needed to do it alone.
She needed closure, and then she would be back to drink a lemonade with Destiny, and joke with Tabian, and try to figure out Bridger’s tragic story, and bond with Nory and Delta, and most importantly for her heart… Change with Vic.