Chapter Twenty-One
TWENTY-ONE
“STAY.” Nathan wrapped his arms around Jo’s waist, nuzzled the back of her neck. Her hair was still damp from the shower they’d shared. Smelling his soap on her skin aroused him yet again. “I’ll fix you breakfast in the morning.”
She hooked her arm around his neck. It amazed her how easy it was to be this close. “You don’t have anything to fix.”
“Bread. I have bread.” He spun her around so he could feast on that wonderful curve of neck and shoulder. “I’m terrific at toast. I’m famous for my toast.”
“As incredibly appetizing as that sounds ... Nathan.” With a sound caught between a laugh and a moan, she tried to wiggle away from his roving hands. “We really will kill each other, and I have to get back.”
“It’s barely midnight.”
“It’s after one.”
“Well, then, it’s practically morning, you might as well stay.”
She wanted to. As his mouth found hers, persuasively, she badly wanted to. “I have things to straighten out at home. And I have to make it up to Brian for leaving him in such a mess tonight.”
She put her hands to his face, liking the way it felt under her fingers. Cheekbones, jaw, the scrape of beard. Had she ever explored a man’s face this way? Or wanted to?
“And I have to think.” Firmly, she drew away. “I’m a thinker, Nathan. A planner. This is new territory for me.”
He rubbed a thumb over the line that formed between her brows. “You’ll just compel me to keep changing directions on you.”
Fresh nerves skidded over her skin. “Then I’ll have to stay a step ahead. But now, I have to go home.”
He could see her mind was made up, and so he forced himself to readjust the pleasant image of waking beside her in the morning. “I’ll drive you.”
“You don’t have to—”
“Jo.” He put his hands on her shoulders, and his voice was quiet and final. “You’re not going out alone in the dark.”
“I’m not afraid. I’m not going to be afraid anymore.”
“Good for you. I’m still driving you. Or we can argue about it, I can maneuver you back into the bedroom, and drive you home in the morning. Does your father have a gun?”
She laughed, pushed at her bangs. “It’s very unlikely he’d shoot you for sleeping with me.”
“If he does, I’m counting on you to nurse me back to health.” He took his keys from the counter.
“I’m a southern woman,” she said as they started out the door. “I’ll even find a petticoat to tear into bandages.”
“It would almost be worth getting shot for that.”
As she climbed into his Jeep, she asked, “Ever been shot?”
“No.” He slid in beside her and started the engine. “But I had my tonsils out. How much worse could it be?”
“Considerably, I’d imagine.”
She stretched out her legs, leaned back, and shut her eyes. She was tired, but deliciously so. Her muscles were loose, her mind pleasantly fogged. The air felt silky on her skin.
“The nights are best on the island,” she murmured, “when the quiet just rings in your ears and no one else is awake. You can smell the trees and the water. The sea’s a whisper in the background, like a pulse beating.”
“You can be alone and not be lonely.”
“Mmm. When I was a little girl I used to imagine what it would be like if I were all alone, had the island all to myself just for a few days. It would all be mine, everywhere I walked, everywhere I looked. I thought I would like that. But then I dreamed it, and I was afraid. In the dream I kept running and running, through the house, out into the forest, over the beach. I wanted to find someone, anyone, to be there with me. But I was all alone. And I woke up crying for Daddy.”
“Now you take pictures of being alone.”
“I suppose I do.” She let out a sigh and opened her eyes. And there, through the dark, she saw the glimmer of light. “Kate left a light on for me.”
It was comforting, that flicker of home. She watched it dance through the trees, outdo the shadows. Once she’d run away from that light, and once she’d run toward it. She hoped the time would come when she could walk either way without fear.
As they neared the end of the drive, she saw the figure rise from the porch swing. Her stomach did an ungainly roll before Nathan covered her hand with his.
“Stay here. Lock the doors.”
“No, I—” She let out a trembling breath. “It’s Brian,” she said, feeling foolish at the wave of relief that swamped her.
Nathan nodded, also recognizing the figure as Brian stepped into the light. “Okay, let’s go.”
“No.” She gave the hand that covered hers a quick squeeze. “Let’s not complicate it. If he needs to yell at me some more, I deserve it, and I don’t want the two of you eyeing each other and trying to figure out how to handle the fact that you’re friends and you’re sleeping with his sister.”
“He doesn’t appear to be armed.”
It made her laugh, as intended. “Go home.” She shifted, finding it simple to just lean over and touch her lips to his. “Let Brian and me deal with our family baggage. We’re too polite to do a good job of it in front of you.”
“I want to see you tomorrow.”
She opened the door. “Come for breakfast—unless you’re set on having your world-famous toast.”
“I’ll be here.”
She started toward the porch, waiting until she heard his Jeep reverse before she mounted the stairs. “Evening,” she said coolly to Brian. “Nice night for porch sitting.”
He stared at her a moment, then moved so quickly she nearly shrieked. His arms strapped tight around her. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Stunned speechless, she started to pat his back, then yelped as he jerked her away and shook her.
“It’s your own goddamn fault. So typical, so goddamn Jo Ellen.”
“What?” Insult slapped on top of surprise and had her shoving him. “What the hell are you talking about? Stop manhandling me.”
“Manhandling? I ought to kick your butt up to your ears. Why the hell didn’t you tell somebody what was going on? Why didn’t you let me know you were in trouble?”
“If you don’t let go of me right now—”
“No, you just go on the way you always have, pushing people out of the way so you can—”
He broke off with a grunt as her fist plowed into his stomach. The blow was quick and forceful enough to catch him off guard. Dropping his hands, he eyed her narrowly.
“That hasn’t changed either. You always packed a decent punch.”
“You’re lucky I didn’t aim for that pretty face of yours.” Sniffing, she rubbed her hands over her arms where his fingers had gripped. Damned if she wouldn’t have bruises, she thought. “Obviously you’re in no state to have a reasonable, civilized conversation. So I’m going up to bed.”
“You take one step toward that door and I’ll haul you over my knee.”
She raised herself up on tiptoe and stuck her face in his. “Don’t you threaten me, Brian Hathaway.”
“Don’t you test me, Jo Ellen. I’ve been sitting here for better than two hours worried sick, so I’m in the mood to take you on.”
“I was with Nathan, which you knew very well. And there’s no cause for you to worry about my sex life.”
He gritted his teeth. “I don’t want to hear about it. I don’t want to think about it. I’m not talking about you and Nathan being ... I’m not talking about that.”
Jo bit the inside of her cheek to keep from grinning. Had she known it was so easy to flummox her brother, she would have used that angle years ago.
“Well, then.” Pleased with the point scored, she strolled to the porch swing and sat. She cocked her head as she took out a cigarette. “Just what is it you want to hear about, think about, and talk about, Brian?”
“You can’t pull off the grand Southern Belle number, Jo. It just doesn’t suit you.”
She flicked her lighter on. “It’s late and I’m tired. If you have something to say, say it so I can go to bed.”
“You shouldn’t have been alone.” His voice had gone quiet and drew her gaze. “You shouldn’t have gone through that alone, been in that hospital alone. And I want you to know that the choice of doing that was yours.”
She took a slow drag. “Yes, it was my choice. It was my problem.”
“That’s right, Jo.” He took a step forward, hooking his thumbs in his front pockets to keep his hands from curling into fists. “Your problems, your triumphs, your life. You’ve never seen fit to share any of those things. Why should this be different?”
Her stomach jittered. “What could you have done?”
“I could have been there. I would have been there. Yeah, that shocks the hell out of you, doesn’t it?” he said before she lowered her eyes. “I don’t care how fucked-up this family is, you wouldn’t have gone through that by yourself. And you’re not going to go through the rest of it by yourself.”
“I’ve been to the police.”
“I’m not just talking about the cops, though any pea brain would have gone to them in Charlotte when this started.”
She flicked an ash, took another drag. “You’re going to have to make up your mind whether you want to shame me or insult me.”
“I can do both.”
Annoyed, she flipped the cigarette away, watched the red tip fly through the dark, then disappear into it. “I came home, didn’t I?”
“That, at least, was half sensible. You came home looking like something that had been dragged down five miles of bad road, then you don’t tell anybody what’s wrong. Except Kirby. You told Kirby, didn’t you, after I dragged you over there?” His eyes flashed. “I’ll deal with her later.”
“You leave her alone. I told her about the breakdown and that was all. That’s medical, and she’s not obliged to tell her lover about her patients’ medical histories.”
“You told Nathan.”
“I told him tonight. I told him all of it tonight, because I thought it was only right and fair.” Weary now, she rubbed her forehead. An owl was hooting monotonously somewhere in the cool dark. She wished she could find its tree, climb the branches, and just huddle there in peace.
“Do you want me to go over it all again now, Brian? Do you want chapter and verse and all the little details?”