Chapter Twenty-Six #4
“Isn’t that what I just said?” She dragged out another cigarette, then furious, hurled it away.
“Why should I have to lose again? Why should I have to be alone again? How could you come here and make me fall in love with you, then cut yourself out of my life because you think it’s best for me?
Because you think it’s the honorable thing to do.
Well, the hell with your honor, Nathan, the hell with it if it cheats me out of having what I need.
I’ve been cheated before, lost what I needed desperately before, and was helpless to stop it. I’m not helpless anymore.”
She was vibrating with fury, her eyes fired with it, her color high and glowing. He’d never seen anything, or anyone, more magnificent. “Of all the things I imagined you’d say to me tonight, this wasn’t it. I’d prepared myself to lose you. I hadn’t prepared myself to keep you.”
“I’m not a damn cuff link, Nathan.”
The laugh came as a surprise, felt rusty in his throat. “I can’t decide what I should say to you. All I can think of is that I love you.”
“That might be enough, if you were holding on to me when you said it.”
His eyes stayed on hers as he walked toward her. His arms were tentative at first, then tightened, tightened until he buried his face in her hair. “I love you.” Emotions swamped him as he drew in the scent of her, the taste of her skin against his lips. “I love you, Jo Ellen. Every part of you.”
“Then we’ll make it enough. We won’t let this be taken away.” Her voice was low and fierce. “We won’t.”
* * *
HE lay very still, hoping she slept.
The woman beside him, the woman he loved, was in danger, the source of which was too abhorrent to him to name. He would protect her, with his life if necessary. He would kill to keep her safe, whatever the cost.
And he would hope that what they had together survived it.
There was no avoiding it. They had stolen a moment, taken something for themselves. But what haunted them, from twenty years before and now, would have to be faced.
“Nathan, I have to tell my family.” In the dark she reached for his hand. “I need to find the right time and the right way. I want you to leave that to me.”
“You have to let me be there, Jo. It should be done your way, but not alone.”
“All right. But there are other things that need to be handled, need to be done.”
“You need protection.”
“Don’t try to go white knight on me, Nathan. I find it irritating.” The lazy comment ended on a gasp when he hauled her up to her knees.
“Nothing happens to you.” His eyes gleamed dangerously in the dark. “Whatever it takes, I’m going to see to that.”
“You’d better start by calming yourself down,” she said evenly. “I’m of a mind that nothing happens to either of us. So we have to start thinking, and we have to start doing.”
“There are going to be rules, Jo. The first is that you don’t go anywhere alone. You don’t step off your own porch by yourself until this is over.”
“I’m not my mother, I’m not Ginny, I’m not Susan Peters. I’m not defenseless, or stupid or naive. I will not be hunted for someone’s sport.”
Because a show of temper would only wound her pride and make her angry, he latched on to calm.
“If necessary, I’ll haul you off the island just the way I hauled you here tonight.
I’ll take you somewhere safe and I’ll lock you in.
All it’ll take to avoid that unhappy event is your promise not to go anywhere alone. ”
“You have an inflated image of your own capabilities.”
“Not in this case I don’t.” He caught her chin in his hand. “Look at me, Jo. Look at me. You’re everything. I’ll take anything else, I’ll face anything else, but I won’t face losing you. Not again.”
She trembled once, not from anger or fear but from the swift, hard flood of emotion. “No one’s ever loved me this much. I can’t get used to it.”
“Practice—and promise.”
“I won’t go anywhere by myself.” She let out a sigh.
“This relationship business is nothing but a maze of concessions and compromises. That’s probably why I’ve managed to avoid it all this time.
” She sat back on her heels. “We’re not going to stand around and just let things happen.
I’m not the only woman on the island.” She trembled again. “I’m not Annabelle’s only daughter.”
“No, we’re not going to stand around and wait. I’m going to make some calls, gather any information on Kyle’s accident that I might have missed before. I wasn’t thorough. It wasn’t an easy time, and I might have let something slip by.”
“What about his friends, his finances?”
“I don’t know a lot about either. We weren’t as close the last few years as we used to be.” Nathan rose to open the windows and let in the air. “We drifted into different places, became different people.”
“What kind of a person did he become?”
“He was ... I guess you’d call him a present-focused sort. He was interested in now—seize the moment and wring it dry. Don’t worry about later, about consequences or payment. He never hurt anyone but himself.”
It was vitally important that she understand that.
Just as important, Nathan realized, that he understand it himself.
“Kyle just preferred the easy way, and if the easy way had a shortcut, all the better. He had a lot of charm, and he had talent. Dad was always saying if Kyle would put as much effort into his work as he did his play, he’d be one of the top photographers in the world.
Kyle said Dad was too critical of his work, never satisfied, jealous because he had his whole life and career ahead of him. ”
He paused, listened to the words replay in his head. And suffered their implication. Was it competition? A twisted need for the son to outdo the father? His head began to pound again, hard beats at the temples.
“I’ll make the calls,” Nathan said flatly. “If we can eliminate that possibility, we can concentrate on others. Kyle might have gotten drunk, showed the photos to a friend, an associate.”
“Maybe.” It wasn’t an area Jo wanted to push just then. “Whoever is responsible has a solid knowledge of photography, and quite a bit of skill. It’s inconsistent, occasionally lazy, but it’s skill.”
Nathan only nodded. She’d just described his brother perfectly.
“He would have to be doing his own developing,” she continued, relieved to be able to concentrate on practical steps.
“Which means access to a darkroom. He must have had one in Charlotte, and then when he came down here, he’d have needed to arrange for another.
The package I got here was mailed from Savannah. ”
“You can rent darkroom time.”
“Yeah, and that might be what he did. Or he rented an apartment, a house, brought in his own equipment. Or bought new. He would have more control, wouldn’t he, if it was his own place, his own equipment?
” Her eyes met Nathan’s. “That’s what drives this.
The control. He could go back and forth between the mainland and the island. He’d be in control.”
To control the moment, to manipulate the mood, the subject, the outcome. That is the true power of art. His father’s words, he remembered, neatly written on the page.
“Yes, it’s about control. So we check photo supply outlets, find out if someone ordered equipment to outfit a darkroom and had it shipped to Savannah. It won’t be easy, and it won’t be quick.”
“No, but it’s a start.” It was good to think, to have a tangible task.
“He’d likely be alone. He needs the freedom to come and go as he pleases.
He took pictures of me all over the island, so he’s wandering around freely.
We can keep our eye out for a man alone with a camera, though we’re just as likely to jump some harmless bird-watcher. ”
“If it was Kyle, I’d know him. I’d recognize him.”
“Would you, Nathan? If he didn’t want you to? He’d know you’re here. And he’d know that I’ve been with you. Annabelle Hathaway’s daughter with David Delaney’s son. There are some who might see that as coming full circle. And if that’s so, I don’t believe you’re any safer than I am.”