19. Eshe
Eshe
The rocking of the palanquin made me dizzy, but at least I wasn’t walking through the desert, collecting blisters on my feet.
The palanquin was large enough for me to lie in if I desired to.
Instead, I peered through the sheer orange curtains and caught sight of the men who carried me.
I saw Kavid ahead, strong and brave and everything I’d imagined Yonam to be as a Qahl.
He barked orders for the caravan to halt for the evening and set up camp.
We’d been traveling for six days, and the journey back home was taking longer than it typically would if we were heading there by horse.
But Kavid insisted that I be carried traditionally in a palanquin, since it was only suitable for a princess.
It was annoying… and it made me feel like a little girl again, but I didn’t argue.
I couldn’t argue about anything. Kavid wouldn’t hear my plea for my freedom of choice.
For what father would have ultimately given me.
Sure, I agreed to marry Casimir years ago, but things had changed.
I wasn’t sixteen anymore. They clearly could continue peace without a marriage bridging the families together.
I didn’t want to marry Casimir. I cared for him like a brother. Like Kavid!
Oh God.
I was sick to my stomach, and I wasn’t sure if it was from the swaying of the palanquin or the thought of Casimir’s lips on mine.
I would cry if I could. Kavid told me this was best for our family and explained briefly what the marriage could bring for the country and its people, which made it impossible to argue with him.
I couldn’t let him or my country down… Not when this was something small I could do for the family that was dead. Honor something from years ago…
Perhaps I was ungrateful.
Casimir really was the best man I could ask for in a husband.
Much better than Ezra. He was gentler than Ezra.
He would give me more freedom than Ezra would.
He was much more handsome than Ezra. Ezra was such a savage, an infuriating, self-centered man.
Yes, I nodded to myself. I should be more grateful.
Thank God I wasn’t ending up with someone like Ezra.
I imagined for a moment what it would be like to touch Ezra’s ruthless lips and—
Something warm fluttered in my stomach.
Yep. Casimir’s kiss was what I wanted. He would be a much better kisser than Ezra. Soft and gentle. Ezra’s would be crushing, demanding, and suffocating. Like a punishment.
Not at all what I wanted.
My stomach pain suddenly got worse, and I didn’t know what was wrong with me. Something didn’t feel right about any of this.
Kavid told me I had one month with him before Casimir would be obligated to marry me.
After speaking to his advisers before we left Urnaz, they had solidified the plans.
Though it was Ezra’s idea to continue as planned years ago, he didn’t look as happy winning his side of the business proposal.
He looked as if he could murder someone.
Ezra being annoyed that I made it out and found Kavid—changing whatever plans he had—did give me some relief in my stomach. I took a deep breath. Mmmm. I felt much better knowing he was in just as much pain as I was.
During the evenings, Kavid and I would connect over a cup of kava and tell each other stories from our lives over the past eight years.
He explained that after the incident, he was taken with the help of my father’s adviser and hid for a few years until he grew older and stronger.
He wore a beard and was named Paziel, branded as a distant cousin who looked like Kavid.
It was a similar story to mine—my heart squeezed at the struggle he went through by himself.
He was invested in where I had been, my life in Mongah, and how Salazar and his family were. We talked about our own families and the memories we kept over the years. We both agreed we’d do just about anything to hear Yonam’s silly laughter again. It was carefree. It was a sound I’d never forget.
But that explosion took that beautiful laugh from me.
“Where do you think he is?” I asked, while gazing at the starry sky.
“Somewhere good.”
Somewhere good.
“That’s pretty vague for something so large. Larger than life.”
“That’s all I got,” I heard Kavid say from beside me. “Who really knows…”
My lips curved up, still staring at the open sky, wondering where exactly he was.
“I think he’s with me. I feel his presence now and then. I know it sounds crazy, but… he’s close sometimes.”
After a moment of peaceful silence, I laughed to myself, and then Kavid asked what was so funny.
“I sent Salazar to find out more information on who was ruling Zyriah. We both… we thought that maybe we missed something and that this Qahl Paziel might be responsible or know something. I don’t know.
But now Salazar is God knows where, searching for answers in Zyriah when you’re here with me.
” I shook my head, wishing Salazar was here with us, too.
“Salazar is here?”
I nodded. “When he saw I had left, he rightly assumed I was here, looking for some sort of revenge.”
“What did he say?”
“Well… he offered to help, you know?” I glanced at Kavid. “He loved you all, too. He was the only thing that kept me together after all these years. He was there for me… and loved me.”
Something flickered across Kavid’s face, and he was about to say something, but remained silent. “Why the name Paziel? Why did you change the name our parents gave you?”
He kept his gaze on the fire in front of us.
“My advisers said changing my name would be for the best, especially since we never found the killer. They hid me for a few months and then rebranded me. People who were close to our father knew, obviously. But… I was a new person, a distant cousin, and in a way, it helped with the guilt I carried over the years. Being someone new—it helped.”
I let his words sink in as I stared up at the sky. It made sense. I didn’t blame him for it at all.
There were countless stars. It was a new moon, allowing the blanket of night to shine as brightly as it could. I smiled to myself. I didn’t remember the last time I felt this type of peace since my family died.
But then I noticed a star that was directly above me.
“Isn’t that the North Star?”
Kavid followed my gaze and smiled, “Yes, it looks like it is. Beautiful, isn’t it?”
“Yes, but Kavid—we shouldn’t be seeing that if we traveled east?” My mouth dried. “Are we heading west?”
“Of course. Why wouldn’t we be?” Kavid asked, flabbergasted. “You know that’s the quickest road home.”
I swallowed. “Isn’t that where Ezra told you not to go?” I glanced at Kavid.
He turned toward me. “I would never listen to a word Ezra says. I don’t trust him as far as I can throw him. Why are you looking at me like that? He’s a snake, Eshe.”
I didn’t trust him either, but… “Kavid, I think you should have listened to him. He knows these lands better than we do. The Atrove has been rumored to be more active than before…” My voice turned quiet and trailed off.
“The Atrove, the Atrove…” Kavid rolled his eyes.
“My dear sister. The Atrove had nothing to do with what he was saying. He didn’t want me to go west because he didn’t want me to see the land that would belong to me one day.
” I narrowed my eyes, trying to understand his thought process.
“After you’re married. He’s still trying to maintain some sort of control over it, and fear of the Atrove isn’t going to stop me or change my mind. ”
“Ezra wouldn’t lie about this,” I said, strangely defensive of Ezra. And suddenly I wondered why I was so sure that Ezra wouldn’t lie to us.
“And how would you know, Eshe?”
“I… Because… He just wouldn’t.” I didn’t understand why I was saying anything. My brother was so stubborn sometimes. That hadn’t changed. He was as overbearing, protective, and stubborn as he always has been.
“This conversation is over, Eshe. I’m doing what is best for you and me.” Heat radiated from his body. “You are safe, I promise.”
Kavid glared at me long enough for me to believe his words.
I knew I had pushed his buttons and had to change the subject so that at least we’d go to sleep on the right terms. I’d never leave again feeling unsettled.
I softly brushed my shoulder against his.
“Can you tell me a story like you used to do on nights out in the desert?”
Kavid smiled and nodded. “Give me a moment.”
I waited, hugging my legs, and stared into the fire that burned ahead of us. There were many surrounding us, but this fire was just for Kavid and me. It was nice to connect with him finally, after the long hours inside the palanquin, despite how the conversation turned.
“There was once an important man who lived inside the palace walls. Walls that would never crumble down, walls that protected, no matter the threat.”
His voice floated around the warm fire.
“This important man had a secret that no one could find out, otherwise they would die. It was a curse, and it was a secret worth killing for. He was Atrovian.”
His voice turned quiet. The sky for a moment turned darker, almost like the stars were dimming one flicker after the other, just by that name, Atrovian.
Chills ran down my arm.
“That wasn’t the only secret this important Atrovian man carried.” Kavid paused. He became distant. “He fell in love with a woman. A beautiful woman.”
I gasped. Forbidden love, how juicy. Oh, he was good at storytelling. Always had been. I was already hooked. One time, he told me a story of a woman ruling a country as Qahless, and it was my favorite. I made him tell me that story on repeat for two weeks straight.
I’d never admit it, but he was to blame for the fight within me.
Kavid continued his captivating storytelling, whispering, “He made love to her one night—”
I inhaled sharply. “No…”
“Yes, he did—”
“But he’s an Atrovian! That’s like… the worst of sins to them.” God, I was soaking this up. I loved it when someone broke the law. In fact, I might even encourage it from time to time. It could be therapeutic. “Totally against their moral code.”
He nodded slowly and continued in hushed, sinister tones, “He made love to her one night. As you know, it’s forbidden, lest he and the woman die at the hands of the Atrove. It’s against their first law. But he didn’t care.”
“Aww…” I exhaled in fantasy bliss.
His eyes slide to mine, his smile fading like the stars in the sky. “Then he killed her to hide his identity.”
My jaw dropped.
I grabbed a handful of warm sand and threw it across the fire and into his face.
“Kavid! That’s a horrible story.”
Kavid laughed methodically, brushing the sand off his skin. “You asked for it.”
“That story didn’t end happily! Does she magically come back to life or something? Does she find out she was going to die and just faked being poisoned or something?”
“Nope. Dead.”
“You’re awful. The Atrove should never be part of your storytelling, unless you want them to come out from their invisible palace tonight and kill us in our sleep.”
Kavid’s shoulders shook with his full belly laugh.
“Stories of the Atrove never end on a good note. Don’t be angry with me, little sister. This is life. Better you learn about that now rather than later.”
Our laughs quieted, and I could only hear the crackling of the fire in front of me, weighing his words.
The Atrove. They killed our family. He was right. Stories with them in them never ended well.
I planned to have my revenge on them regardless of Kavid’s plans with me.
I would have it.
Something tightened around my wrists, which caused me to wake from my dreams, and my eyes flew open. Shadows bound my wrists, making it so I couldn’t move them. The scream that came from my mouth was covered by a thick cloth around my head and stuffed into my mouth.
My breath turned shallow. I felt as if I were choking.
I couldn’t move.
My legs were weighed down and roped together before I could kick these shadows in the face. They wore white robes and white cloths around their heads.
The Atrove.
I screamed and screamed and begged for help, but no one heard me. My racing heartbeat was in my throat, but I couldn’t breathe. The three men grabbed my bound body, and another hand was placed against the cloth that covered my mouth.
I tried to blink the darkness away, but I could barely see. They took me out of my tent, and I quickly noticed the guard outside my tent lying unconscious. I twisted and wormed my body to be released, but the men who held me were like an iron cage.
A knot the size of a hand twisted in my stomach, and the desperate pounding of it made me sick.
I was going to die. I was going to die.
Where was Kavid? I hoped he hadn’t been caught. What did they want from me?
I couldn’t think straight, and suddenly a piercing force fell on my head before everything turned dark.
I woke to the beast beneath me, causing me to sway.
I was on a horse. The stranger’s arms that kept me from falling were cold and tight, and I let out a shudder.
How long had I been out for? It was still night.
The Atrove had attacked my brother’s caravan and stolen me.
My breath quickened, but I was bound like a hog, my ankles and wrists tied together, making it impossible for me to move, let alone escape.
I could feel blood sliding from the side of my head down my nose before darkness overcame me again.