31. Ezra #2
“Your brother changed the family name.” I shrugged, trying to make sense of it, too. “It was a shock to us all. But regardless, he attempted to murder you earlier that night. It only makes sense. You have to know this because… if he comes back to you, you cannot trust him.”
Her face had not changed. “It’s one thing to accuse him of trying to kill me on purpose, and another to say he murdered my entire family because my mother birthed him out of adultery.”
Casimir and Norrah turned their heads toward us. Suddenly, they were out of their chairs and walking back inside.
I could see her processing.
“Oh my God. I sent Salazar to him. He’s going to find out soon that Kavid is Qahl. But maybe he won’t be so trusting. Oh God.” She placed her hands over her face. “What did I do?”
My hand reached out to touch her shoulder, but I refrained.
“Kavid went to Urnaz to hire help in the dunes to search for you, though he’ll never find us here. Perhaps Salazar won’t see Kavid in person.”
She nodded and lifted her head to me.
“So, as Qahl of Tehera, it never benefited you to out Kavid as the son of the Qahl, not a cousin? You never liked him. Or any of us for that matter,” she muttered under her breath.
“No…”
“Why?”
My stomach squeezed as I spoke, “Because then, you’d be here after hearing the news.
A presumed dead prince was alive as Qahl and lying to his people the entire time?
That type of news would reach any country.
The chaos would be catastrophic and make Zyriah look weak.
It would make him look weak. No, I didn’t see the benefit for you to know that he was alive. ”
I remembered the first time seeing him after years of him hiding from each meeting. He had refused them as long as he could until I refused to leave Crahst. Even the Atrove had a difficult time knowing who he was.
When I saw his beard, I almost didn’t recognize him—he had seemingly aged years. After that, I learned how he went into hiding with an adviser who survived and was reborn years later—as a coward. Or as a murderer.
He was the only one living. He wasn’t crown prince—he was second in line.
All evidence stacked against him being responsible, though I didn’t have the proof.
Eshe interrupted my thoughts, “There might be a possibility that Kavid had nothing to do with it. We can’t be sure.”
“Maybe.” I peered into her eyes. “But you cannot trust him. Regardless of whether he’s responsible or had anything to do with your family’s deaths, you cannot trust him. He tried to kill you. I saw him with my own—”
“I believe you, Ezra,” she whispered and swallowed. “I believe you. I need to find Salazar and tell him this. I need answers from Kavid, too, so I can be sure.”
“No.” I shook my head, flabbergasted. This was not at all where I thought this would go. “I just said you can’t—”
“I need my answers.”
“He will kill you. He has tried before and he’ll—”
She stood up from the bench. “You have no right to tell me what to do.”
An eerie sensation crept into the courtyard—the only sound was the fountain splashing to the side of us.
I brought myself to standing, over a head taller than her. “I’m asking you, Eshe.” I brushed a hand over my face. “If anything happens, and he finds you before I do, kill him.”
Eshe took a step back, as if I had stabbed her myself. “I would never.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I should have done it years ago.”
She was suddenly in front of me, hands on my arms with pleading eyes. It sent tingling sensations over my body just by her simple touch. “Promise me you won’t kill him.”
“Why would I promise such a thing?” I asked, flinching. “I hate him for what he did to you.”
“Promise me. Anything that we do, we’ll do together. I need more answers, more time. Okay?”
I studied her eyes, and something swelled in my chest. Thinking of doing anything with Eshe sounded right.
“Fine.”
“Promise me?”
“Sure.”
“That’s not affirmative.”
I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath that I always seemed to need when I was around her. “I promise I won’t do anything without you.”
Her hands grazed down my arms before she took them from me. I snatched her waist and pulled her close, causing a gasp in her wake.
“What do I get for that promise, Eshe?” I looked down into her eyes. “That’s asking for a lot, you know.”
She was doing that thing again, with her hands bunched up in my linen shirt, acting as if she was pushing me, but really she was pulling me closer.
She licked her lips and asked, “Well, what do you want?”
“That’s a pretty big question, too.”
“Don’t be such an ass.” Her lips twitched and went to swat my chest, but I caught her wrist midair, pulling her even closer. Her breasts were crushed against my chest, taking her breath away.
Before I could change my mind, before I could find the courage to keep her at arm's length, I said, “Stay with me tonight.”
Her eyes widened.
“W—what? W—why?” She was so flustered.
“Just stay with me.” I want one night of sleep on an actual bed, and her not being by my side had been causing my nightmares to feel an awful lot like reality.
She didn’t give me a straight answer before she left me staring off into the distance and entered the building.
I realized I enjoyed the fire within her heart.
I didn’t mind her fighting, her anger, her rebellious and curious nature. She pulled and pushed me, making me crave her even more. I never enjoyed such an atrocity before. What changed? Why her? Why would I want to breathe more of her nature into me when, before, it went against my way of thinking?
I thought I hated this part of her.
When I was young and saw how free-spirited she was, how her mind ran out loud, I despised it, didn’t I?
I placed my hands into my pockets. I was beginning to realize something that made me uncomfortable and frustrated. Something I thought I believed in for so long appeared to be a lie. I ran my hand through my hair and went back to crossing my arms against my chest.
God, I needed to do something with my hands or else I’d mark them on her skin like she was my personal masterpiece.
Maybe I was being tamed for her. Obeying her, following her, worshipping her. I shook my head and laughed to myself. I rubbed a rough hand over my face. God, I was tired, but I realized it had never felt so good to be trapped in a predicament with my soul.