33. Ezra
Ezra
I wanted to be alone. Too many people were near the fire on the sandy cliffside.
Okay, maybe I just wanted Eshe to myself.
When she said goodnight to everyone, I wondered if I would find her in my bed or not.
She never gave me an answer. I hated the look on her face after I had pulled away from her in the water.
I had contemplated Casimir’s words all day, and unfortunately, I found myself once again acknowledging the weight of truth in his words.
Pushing Eshe away from me was only making me weaker.
I needed her close to me. It gave me a different kind of strength, one I was trying to become accustomed to.
Once we arrived at the oasis below, the servants mentioned the horses being restless, so Casimir and I checked in on them.
“How long are we planning on staying here?” Casimir asked.
I brushed a palm down my horse’s long neck and shrugged. “A couple more nights, then I’ll head back with Eshe.”
“I’ll stay here with Norrah.”
I nodded, going over our plans.
“She’ll be safe here.”
“What about Eshe?” he asked.
“She wants to go to Zyriah. We’ll most likely head to Urnaz first and prepare ourselves for anything,” I said.
After making sure the horses had enough attention and were settled for the night, my brother and I walked back to our rooms.
I found Eshe lying on the right side of my bed, her eyes closed, facing the window, her soft curls framing her heart-shaped face as I walked to her. Her chest rose and fell deeply, letting me know exhaustion had taken her.
Leaning forward, I brushed her curls over her ear and placed my lips over her warm forehead, breathing in her jasmine scent. I couldn’t believe I kissed her earlier, but it felt so right with her in my arms.
She wriggled deeper under the sheets but remained unconscious.
No more repressing, no more running away from my own primitive instincts. It was there for a reason.
I needed her more than I’d needed anything else in my life.
I had an overwhelming sensation to mark her entire body like I did her neck and claim every inch of her skin as mine.
She hid her mark from the others, and it enraged me.
It woke something monstrous in my core, something I wasn’t sure I could tame anymore.
I hadn’t felt this alive in years. From the moment I gave her to Salazar, I never saw her again.
After that night, I felt an empty deadness inside me.
I was too selfish now, too wrapped up in her to go back to the way things used to be.
For too long, I repressed myself from finding her.
Too long, I had tried to replicate the feelings I had for her with other women.
Too long, I had fueled my hate for her instead of diving deeper into desire because it was easier.
I didn’t realize she’d be back this time in my arms.
Tracing the bruise on her neck with my fingers, I could feel her pulse slow and steady. I brought my fingers to the curve of her breast, over her linen dress. I brushed the top of her raised nipple and heard a hitch in her breath.
I raised my eyes and found her silver moon-like eyes on mine. She was my personal moon.
God, she was perfect. I wanted to worship every inch of her body and soul. I hardly recognized myself when I was around her.
I was someone different with her. Someone unmasked. Someone unleashed. She was like a drop of water in the desert, and I was like a drought, starving for her rain.
I knew I shouldn’t, but I had to have a taste of her.
I lowered my lips to touch her breast, not letting my eyes off hers for a moment. My arms were placed on either side of her, lowering myself above her.
Her lips parted, and her pulse quickened. I took the fabric in my mouth along with her nipple, biting it softly, at first.
I could feel her slight tremble.
“But you can’t—”
“Don’t speak unless it’s my name,” I gently warned her.
“What if—”
I nipped her breast, and she whimpered, writhing under me. “I’m not finished with you.”
“We never even started,” she panted.
“Are you always this argumentative when someone wants to touch you? Actually, don’t answer that.
And we started a long time ago.” I moved my lips to her collarbone and then to her jaw.
The thought of another man touching what was mine flashed across my mind and boiling blood sputtered in my veins.
I moved her face to the side with my nose, licking a soft spot, and then bit her neck again.
Eshe’s hand pressed against my shoulders. “Are you always this abusive to women?”
“Just the ones who need it.”
“I don’t.” She pursed her full lips. Her plump, soft, pink lips that were begging to be pulled, sucked, and bitten.
She continued her attempts on my body. She wanted to play this game, and it was adorable. “Yes, you do. You need it, and you want it,” I muttered.
Something flashed in her gray eyes.
“You know nothing, Ezra.”
She lifted an elbow to my jaw, but I grabbed her wrist and pressed it above her head. I tried to be gentle, but she was making it hard.
“If I were to touch you right now, I’d find you wet for me, wouldn’t I?”
Her eyes widened, and her goddamn lips parted.
She writhed against the hold, and she punched me in the stomach.
She winced when she hurt herself more than she did me.
I grabbed her other wrist effortlessly. It was as if she were barely fighting me.
It was as if she were just wanting me to suffer, making me fight for her.
“Answer the question,” I demanded, locking my eyes with hers.
“You wouldn’t dare.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Really?”
“I will end you if you do.”
“Admit it then.”
“What?”
“That you want me, that you like this.”
Her little nose flared, and she attempted to thrash out of my hold. “Let me go, Ezra, I swear to God I will… I will…” Her breathing quickened, searching for words.
“What?” I lowered my lips to her. “Tell me what you’ll do?”
“I’ll…” Her eyes fluttered to mine, and my heart skipped a beat.
“Admit it, and I’ll let you go.”
Her breathing brushed her chest against mine.
“I admit…” I loosened her wrists, “that I don’t.”
Her lips curved to the side, but her wrists were freed, pushing me off her. I fell onto the bed near her, and she climbed above me, straddling her legs to my waist.
“Liar.”
“I’m not a liar,” she panted.
“Yes, you are.” I chuckled. “You lied to me just now. You want me.”
Her eyes covered the length of me and then met my eyes again.
“No. But I know you want me.” A knowing smirk appeared on her face. I pressed myself beneath her so she could feel my hardness. I had no problem admitting to her, but why was she shy about something so obvious and so natural between us?
I wrapped my arms around her waist and threw her onto her back. We were fighting for dominance. She attempted to throw hands at me again, and I was starting to get annoyed.
“If you don’t stop this nonsense, I’ll tie you up.”
She gasped. Then she was doing that thing again with her eyes when she was calculating. After a moment, she lowered her hands.
My lips curved. “That’s my little warrior. You know what happens when you listen well?”
She bit her lower lip.
I lowered my head to her chest once more, sucking her right nipple into my mouth.
I felt her hand wrap into my wavy hair, and the grumble that released from my chest made her shiver beneath me.
Hooking the straps of her dress beneath my fingers, I yanked it downward, ripping it in half.
Her breasts became fully exposed, begging to be touched.
Eshe’s body tensed, and she attempted to close her legs.
“Relax,” I ordered her and locked my eyes back with hers.
Her breathing deepened, and her eyelids grew heavy.
I lowered myself onto her, pressing my hips against the warmth of her legs.
Her breath quickened, and her palms were flat against my chest, but she wasn’t pushing me this time.
I could tell she was nervous, and I wondered if she’d done anything like this before.
She bit her lower lip again, and that just wouldn’t do.
I placed my lips on hers, and her mouth parted, inviting me further.
It was what I imagined heaven tasted like.
Warm, pure, sweet, fucking perfection. She was allowing me to feast on her mouth, and I took and took.
I wanted nothing more than to stay like this between her legs, kissing her, claiming her for eternity.
Exactly where she belongs. In this life and the next.
All the years of dreaming about what it would have been like with her never compared to this moment. This feeling was greater than anything I’d ever experienced in my life.
My teeth scraped over her bottom lip, and our tongues danced as if we argued.
We were rough, needing and demanding more, pushing and pulling.
A sound escaped her mouth, and I found my hand palming the bare breast that I had abused earlier.
My thumb grazed over her raised nipple before pinching it between two fingers, and she trembled underneath me.
More blood rushed below my hips, and I pressed myself more between her legs. Her mouth gasped perfectly and in time for me to plunge my tongue even deeper. My hand moved from her breasts to her waistline and lower—to find some fucking dress in my way.
I ripped the rest off her, the fabric making a loud rip.
My hands went back to exploring her body.
Her soft, warm skin responded to mine, and I knew, even if she didn’t want to admit it, she wanted this.
Her body told me she wanted more with each press of her hips against mine and with every kiss she gave me.
I hooked the palms of my hands at the back of her thigh and spread them to the sides of my hips as I reached for her lips again.
I couldn’t be gone from them for too long—her lips were my personal drug.
Her pink, swollen lips invited me once again.
“Ezra,” she moaned.
I smirked between the kisses.