Chapter 19 Murder V.S. Love
Climbing from the shower once we are clean, we both dry off, and then she’s dressing in her leggings and shirt. Pulling each piece on without ever looking my way. She’s been quiet this entire time and I don’t know how to deal with it. I don’t know what to say.
Is she okay? Is this going to be too much for her or not enough? Murder is a lot to deal with from someone that you are intimate with. Will she still turn me into the cops?
Questions swirl around my brain so fast that it’s driving me insane.
Not knowing what will happen is a weak point for me.
I don’t like the unknown. The nerves knot my stomach and I finish drying off so I can go in search of my clothes.
The fancy dress is nothing more than a shield against all of this.
A simple costume I can turn into someone else and pretend like my desire and needs don’t matter. When, in fact, it’s murder. It’s wrong. Yet, I won’t stop. It’s too addicting.
The adrenaline. The danger. The desire.
It’s all a heady drug that keeps me going every single day. It has been less than a month since that shoot took place and my mind became something dangerous. Murder became natural and something I required to even breathe.
It led me to Scarlett. The woman who has stolen every single part of my heart, soul, and body. She’s something I’ve needed my entire life. She hasn’t judged me for what and who I am. She’s seen every single inch of me and yet she still stands beside me. She lets me touch her. Taste her. She’s mine.
Yet…
Here we are. With each other, in the penthouse bathroom, after showering away the reason I brought her here. I didn’t exactly plan this very well. Most likely I’m about to be caught and wind up in the jail cell at the local prison.
“Why aren’t you freaking out on me right now?”
I voice the words that had to claw their way out of my throat. They had to be said, but it was so difficult to say the sentence. To ask her why she hasn’t screamed, cried, yelled, or something at me.
“You don’t know me that well, Letty. I’m not some weak woman that can’t handle a little blood. Danger isn’t something that scares me. Neither is murder.”
Wait. What the hell does she mean? I glare at her in the bathroom while wrapped in a towel. She freaked out on me earlier because of what I did. She caught me at that hotel. She ran.
“So, why did you run from me? Why didn’t you turn me into the cops?”
She shakes her head slowly. Refusing to answer my questions even though they need to be said. Her body language tells me she’s hiding something. That she wants to tell me more than she’s given me already. Hiding this secret that is begging to come out in such a way I won’t ever be expecting.
“We can’t ignore this. We have to talk about it.”
She glances over at me before averting her eyes. She can try to avoid this whole thing, but it doesn’t work that way. We have to deal with this.
“I didn’t turn you in because I would have to turn myself in as well. I enjoy the thrill of killing others. I ran because you are just like me. I didn’t see how we could make it work.”
She sighs and then drops the towel she’s been drying her hair with on the floor. She approaches me slowly until she is flush with my front and her hands are on my hips. I stare up at her and watch as her tongue slips over her lips as she wets them.
“I ran because I thought it was perhaps a mistake. That maybe he was forcing himself on you and that you didn’t know the thrill of the kill. That you weren’t as psycho as I was. That you didn’t understand what I desired.”
My heart beats wildly. My chest aching as her words sink in and I realize what she’s saying. She’s like me. She wants to see them bleed. To drain their life. So was I her target before when we met, or did she want the same things I did?
“Tonight, I fought against the pull we have because I didn’t want to drag you into my world.
It seems I was wrong, and you were already there.
The day we met in that lounge downstairs, I wanted nothing more than to see you bleed for me.
To watch you bleed out in my room while you begged me to save you. ”
She is close enough to my lips that I can feel her breath along my skin.
Talking so quietly that my heartbeat nearly drowns out her words.
Yet, they sink into my soul with such certainty that I can’t help the knotted feeling inside me as it squeezes a little tighter.
The feeling of love between us grows more with each word she utters.
“I wanted to kill you. Then you gave me what I’d been missing.
You gave me direction. You controlled me so that my urges became less than what they have been.
I crawled on my knees for you. Fucked myself in my office.
Let you fuck me so sweetly. The urges lessened every second you were with me. I just wanted you.”
I lean forward and claim her lips with mine. Kissing her with such passion laced behind every tilt and movement of my lips. I claim her. She’s mine. My kitten. My beautiful seductress that isn’t afraid of anything. Including me. She wants this. I want this.
I fucking take what’s mine and claim her right here in this bathroom. Our lips fight for dominance as we show each other what we feel with each brush of our tongues. Passion winning out the war between our murderous personalities.
When we break apart, our breath mingles as we press our foreheads together and I cup her cheek in one palm. My eyes are closed and I try my best to wrap my head around what she’s told me. Her words swirling inside of my brain with each second we stand here.
“If I’d known what that photoshoot would have awakened in me, I’m not sure that I would have done it. But, I did. I did the photoshoot, and it made me feel things that are just psychotic. Murder, blood, desire…”
“ It was nothing like I expected. Then you came along. I wanted you the moment you walked through those ropes downstairs and it changed my entire world. That night was a turning point for me. You were my kitten.”
“Then you called me Daddy. That awakened things in me I never knew I needed. It changed so much. It felt so fucking good to hear you call me that. That moment changed everything for me. It didn’t stop the urges, but it redirected them.”
I rub my thumb along her cheek and then lean back and open my eyes to find her staring at me through those thick lashes of hers. She feels it too.
“I love you and fuck everything else. You were the reason I needed to continue on with everything. You’ve been all I’ve thought about since that night.”
It was her turn to be surprised at my words, and I can see it in her eyes; she wants this. Wants us. Just as much as I do. Our world spinning in a rotation that revolves only around us.
“I love you, Scarlett.”
I whisper the words into the silence, and her chest stops rising as her breath catches inside. She’s as astonished as I am. The words felt natural to utter, and I’d say them again. She’s mine. I’m hers. I love this woman and everything about her makes my life worth living.
“I love you, Daddy.”
Fuck me. She knows the way to my heart and I claim her lips with mine as I show her just how much those words mean to me. She makes everything worth it. The world doesn’t turn without her at my side.
The murder, the blood, the sex, the desires are all worth it when she is next to me. But only when she is here and understands everything that I am. That she is. We are one soul split into two bodies.
I will spend the rest of my life learning all I can about this woman. My entire life is in her hands and I’m not upset by that in the least. I love it. I love her.