Chapter 1 #2
“Aw honey, you’re right. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be insensitive. I just want this to go off without a hitch. Charlotte and David deserve a perfect day.”
“I know. And I’m probably being overly sensitive.” I sighed. “It’s just… I’m thirty.”
“You’re twenty-nine,” she corrected.
“I’m almost thirty,” I said, annoyed by her pointing out the technicality. “I wasted too many years with him. And as cliche as it sounds, my biological clock is ticking. I want to get married, have kids and not be an old cat lady.”
“You’re a dog person, Memmy,” she said pragmatically, giving me a flat look. “You don’t just automatically start liking cats when you hit menopause and are still single.”
I slumped, grumbling. “Shut up.”
“Sorry.” Her jaw clenched. “And you settled for him too.”
My eyes cut to hers. “I did not!”
She snorted. “What was it you told me when you moved him into your place, and I said I thought you could do better?”
I blew air out through my lips. “He’s decent-looking, nice enough, and has a good job.” I covered my face with my hands when she motioned for me to continue. “He doesn’t leave the toilet seat up, or forget our anniversary, and what he lacks in bedroom skills, he makes up for in the kitchen.”
I groaned, knowing everything I said proved her point.
“And what did I say?” she asked as if leading a mule to water.
I slumped further, letting my arms fall to my sides. “That I set the bar so low even a worm could crawl over it.”
“What else, Memmy?” she prompted.
“That I was playing it safe, dating someone like him because he was nothing like my ex who’d crushed me.”
“Exactly!” She snapped her fingers and then took me by the shoulders, guiding me toward the party. She got me to the wide double doors, but I suddenly dug in my heels so as not to go all the way inside.
“Oh, my god, I did settle.” I threw up my hands, my mouth drooping in anguish. “And I still got dumped.”
My sister’s eyes slid to the right as a well-endowed elf danced by doorway, but then they were back on mine, sparkling with mischief. “Just another elf, Memmy, you gotta kiss a few of those, before you find your Santa Claus.”
“Madly!” I moaned. “Why you never let that go, I’ll never know. I was five! Every five-year-old loves Santa Claus.”
“Yeah, but you said you were going to marry him. What kind of a sister would I be if I didn’t remind you of that?”
“Can we just get back to the party please?” I asked, looking back toward the Christmas lights and sexy elves dancing around. “I don’t want to miss the dancing elf strippers.”
“They’re not strippers. They’re entertainers, and by the way, Sexy Santa Inc donates all the proceeds of these events to children’s Christmas charities every year.”
My brows rose. “Really?”
“Every penny, yes. And these guys are all regular dudes, with regular jobs, who donate their time…” She paused, smirking. “And their skills, out of the goodness of their hearts.” She waves her hand at the dancers. “Or maybe their dicks.”
I bit back a laugh at my sister’s crassness and scratched my head. “Say what you will, Madly, but none of these elves are just regular dudes. Regular men do not look like this. At least not the ones I meet.”
“I’d say wait until you see Santa, but we already have.
” She used her head to nod toward the hallway door where we’d seen the man in the Christmas present boxers.
“He’s the one who started Sexy Santa Inc And we’re lucky as hell tonight because he’s not always the one who plays Santa, but he should be because he’s…
” She didn’t finish the sentence, just pantomimed chef’s kiss.
I looked back at the dancers. One had my cousin wrapped around him like a perverted pretzel. Another had one of Charlotte’s old school friends on her knees while he did the thrusting thing he’d done to Charlotte earlier.
“Stay right here.” Madeline took off and I watched her beeline into the room, blinking at her back.
Leaning against the wall, I let my head fall back on the painted brick with a thud.
I should be at home crying in a pint of ice cream, but instead I got dressed up, put makeup on, and shoved thoughts of Jett’s betrayal to the very back of my mind, so I could show up for my soon-to-be sister-in-law.
Well, eighty percent of the reason I showed up was Charlotte, the other twenty involved Madeline murdering me if I didn’t.
“Here!” Madeline came back and shoved a big paper cup in my hand. “Drink this cocoa.”
I looked down my nose into the cup. “Cocoa? Just cocoa?”
“Well, it’s mint hot chocolate.”
I narrowed my eyes. “You know I don’t drink alcohol.”
She waves her hand. “Yeah, yeah. You swore it off because you get too wild when you drink.” She huffed.
“Just because you lost your marbles that one time and stripped down to your bra and panties and rode a mechanical bull doesn’t mean it’ll happen again.
” She shrugs. “It could have been a total fluke.”
“Madeline,” I warned. “I got arrested.”
She rolled her eyes and was once again pragmatic when she reminded me that I never actually got arrested.
“The cop was off duty, and he only escorted you home, so you didn’t get into trouble with any lusty, boozed-up cowboys.” She smirked, her eyes sparkling with mischief, and I knew what was coming next.
“You did beg him not to take you to jail.”
I swallowed hard, ready for her to remind me of what happened after that.
“How ‘bout you spank me instead, Officer? Or I could polish your Billy stick with my tongue,” she said in her fake Emily voice. Then she burst out laughing and I let my head fall back.
“Mortifying,” I grumbled.
“Loosen up, Memmy. It was ten years ago. It was your nineteenth birthday and your first time in a bar.”
“And I’ve never lived it down. Just like the Santa thing. Why can’t you ever let anything go?”
She shrugged one shoulder. “They’re both great stories. Solid gold.”
I growled. Neither was a great story. They were both humiliating and I was mocked at every family event about them.
“Just drink it. It’ll relax you.”
I took a sip and my mouth turned down in surprise. “It’s good. I don’t taste any alcohol.”
“It’s got extra whipped cream and only a tiny splash of mint liqueur. It’s just what you need to get out of your funk.”
“What I need is for Jett to get struck by lightning in the balls while putting up the Christmas lights at his new girlfriend’s house.”
Madeline pursed her lips. “In one of those freak winter lightning storms?”
I rolled my eyes. “It’s rare, but it happens. It’s called thundersnow, so don’t ruin my fantasy.” I took another much larger drink of the hot chocolate. And then continued drinking it until the cup was empty.
“Come on.” She tugged me by the wrist. “Let’s get in there before Santa Daddy comes in.”
“Santa Daddy?” I asked, feeling a little weak in the knees.
Her mouth curved up in a sly grin. “Oh yeah, that’s what they call him. Santa Daddy is coming to town any second now.”
Warmth pooled in my stomach. At least Madeline didn’t know about my daddy kink.