Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Yule
“Was that Trixie?” I interrupted Bernadette as she was rattling off all of the things that needed my “immediate attention”.
“Huh? Where?” She looked up from her tablet and glanced around.
“Never mind. What’s next?” I shook my head.
If Trixie came to the offices, she was probably dropping off cookies she and Crystal made or bringing something in for her beau, Buddy.
It wasn’t like she was bound to our home during the day, but seeing her just made me think of Crystal and how difficult the last few days had been.
“Santa, are you even listening to me?” Bernadette sighed.
“Sorry Bernie, it’s been a—”
Bernadette’s phone rang, interrupting me mid-sentence.
It was fine. I didn’t need to make excuses.
Everyone was tired and stressed this time of year.
Once the big day was kicked off, we would all be able to breathe a little easier and the stressful days and sleepless nights would all have been worth it.
“We’re in the building, Dashell. We will stop in before heading to Santa’s office.”
Deck my balls.
If Dash was calling Bernadette that meant the fruitcaking list was starting off my day on a sour note. Again.
Bernadette hung up her phone and half smiled at me. “We need to make a pit-stop.”
Even though I’d already known what she was going to say, I growled under my breath.
“February first we are revamping the list. Put it on the calendar. I want all of my list-watchers and the technical team on this. We are not doing another year like this.”
“No one is going to like that, Santa. You know how elves are about tradition,” Bernadette reminded me carefully.
“I’m not going to mess with tradition, Bernie. We’re just going to make the tradition less… needy.”
“You’re the boss.” She sighed. For most people that would be a very passive-aggressive response, but not for Bernadette.
I knew she meant it. Her and I had many conversations about revamping things around the North Pole and I knew she was on board with my plans.
I also knew she knew many of the elves better than I did and she had a lot of reservations, but she trusted me. That’s all I needed.
We entered the list room and I didn’t even bother to ask questions, I went straight to the list and got out my quill.
Usually it took me a moment to find the change, especially if I was annoyed or my heart wasn’t in it. Not this time. I spotted it immediately.
My heart basically stopped beating in my chest. The name staring back at me was none other than Crystal Claus. My wife. The brand-new Mrs. Claus. How had this happened? What trouble could she have possibly gotten into between the time I’d left this morning until now?
Schooling my expression so the elves wouldn’t notice, I pretended to ponder the situation.
“I’ve never seen this before, Sir. The list is saying there is a discrepancy, but I can’t find one. There is no overlap in names. I checked twice.”
“That is odd.” I nodded in agreement, thanking my lucky stars they weren’t seeing what I saw.
I was pretty sure Mrs. Claus was never supposed to be on the naughty list. And I knew the elves would judge her—hell, both of us—when and if they found out.
They couldn’t find out. “Let me try to override it.”
Trying to sound nonchalant, I tucked my quill back into my pocket and went to the control center.
I didn’t really know what to do. I didn’t even know Mrs. Claus was a part of the list after she was married, let alone that she could end up on the naughty side of it.
I manually overrode the system which gave me twenty-four hours to figure out what was going on.
“That will take care of it for now,” I said with a cheerfulness I didn’t feel. “I’ll be back to check on it in the morning unless I’m needed before that.”
I left the list room without waiting for an answer, and without giving anyone the chance to need me for anything else or any sort of pre-Christmas emergency.
I had a real emergency on my hands. I needed to get to my office.
I needed to talk to my father. I knew that I couldn’t marry my Mrs. Claus if she was on the naughty list, but we were already married. What now?
Most of them smiled and went about their business, but Bernadette followed closely behind me, as she always did. “Santa? Is everything okay?”
I thought about making up something, but the observant elf would probably see right through it anyway. Honesty was the best policy. But I also couldn’t be too honest. “I don’t know, but your list of immediate needs just got trumped. I need to go see my parents. Now.”
“Uh, okay. What should I tell everyone?”
I turned to face her just as we got to my front office where Bernadette worked.
“Listen, you all have been doing this a lot longer than me. You’re my trusted workers, trusted advisors.
You know these jobs better than anyone and none of these problems are new.
Unless something needs my Christmas magic to fix it, then just tell everyone that I give my permission for them to handle their own problems.”
I wasn’t mean or forceful, just matter-of-fact. Santa had been the head of the North Pole for hundreds of years, but the elves had been right there by his side the whole time. They did not need permission to solve problems they knew how to solve. They were completely competent and capable.
“The elves are going to be confused, Santa. That’s not—”
“Not how we do things in the North Pole. Yes I know, but trust me when I say something important has come up and I need to give it my full attention. There are three days until Christmas. Even if someone makes a mistake, we still have time to fix it. Okay?”
“Okay, Sir. Give my regards to Mama and Papa Claus.”
“I will. I have one thing to do and then I will be leaving and I likely will not return today.”
“Yes, Sir. Don’t worry. I'll take care of everything.”
“I know you will. I’ll say goodbye on my way out.”
I went into my office and closed the door behind me. I wanted to sit down and catch my breath for a minute. My mind was spinning out of control and I needed to get it together before I went to my parents. I didn’t want to worry them more than absolutely necessary.
I fell into my oversized desk chair and huffed out a breath. I couldn’t believe what was happening. Closing my eyes, I focused on my wife. I really couldn’t fathom how we could be dealing with this mess.
Let me in, little elf, I coaxed.
Your little elf is not in right now, please leave a message and she will get back to you next Neverary. Beeeeeep.
If I wasn’t so stressed I would have laughed at her bratty antics.
Ha, Ha. What are you up to?
Isn’t Santa supposed to say Ho Ho?
You’re skating on thin ice, little elf. Why are you blocking me? Are you doing something you’re not supposed to be doing?
I’m baking cookies and you’re being very distracting. Don’t you have important Santa things you should be doing?
I clenched my jaw in frustration.
We’re going to have a long discussion when I get home and you’ll be lucky if that discussion doesn’t include some very important input from Daddy’s belt.
I waited for a minute for the backpedaling to start, but she was silent.
And really, didn’t that tell me everything I needed to know? Something was very, very wrong.
I still couldn't get anything from her. For a moment I considered how I could put cameras up in our house just so I could see what she was doing, but just the thought made me feel like a creepy stalker. If it didn’t, I totally would have done it.
I hit the intercom button on my phone. “Bernie, can you call my parents and let them know I’m on my way over?”
“Sure thing, Santa. Should I tell them why?”
I considered the wisdom of telling her or maybe even taking her with me just to get another perspective on my current dilemma, but I really didn’t want any of the other elves to catch wind of anything.
I hadn’t been joking earlier when I said the elves had a tendency to be a little bit overdramatic and we really didn’t need anything else for them to be panicking over this close to Christmas.
“Just tell them I need to chat about some family business.”
That was enough to give them a little heads-up and not enough to send anyone into an avalanche of emotion.
I was already stressed out enough. The last thing I needed was for the elves to get wind of our current predicament, and make everything a thousand times more stressful.
Shaking my head as if I could shake off the shame and confusion I felt, I left my office and headed to my parents’ cottage. It was time to do some damage control.