Chapter 9 #2
“Fuck yes!” Joey pumped the air with his fist.
Both Miles and Anson gave him looks of disbelief.
“What?” he asked. “I’m just fucking happy that you’re finally coming to your senses. And that you’re making good choices.” He pointed at Anson as he said that. “Don’t do drugs. Don’t gamble more than you can afford to lose. And if you find the girl, hold onto the girl.”
“What the fuck was that?” Miles asked.
“Joey’s advice for a good life,” Joey replied proudly.
“Will the two of you stop talking and help me figure out how we’re going to do that,” Anson grumbled.
Now that he’d made up his mind that he wanted her . . . he wanted her right now.
Anson could have patience for some things. But not this.
“Any idea where she could have gone?” Miles asked.
“She rented Caldwell’s place,” he said. “She might have gone up there.”
“Would she stay so close?” Joey asked.
Anson shook his head. Not with how much of an ass he’d been. “No, I doubt it.”
“I’ll go up there and check,” Joey said. “I’ll call you if I find her.” He ran out of the room before Anson could say anything.
Damn. Anson remembered when he could move that quickly. Without thought. Now, everything took an effort. And it was painful. And slow.
“You sure about this?” Miles asked quietly.
Anson made a scoffing noise. “No, I’m not fucking sure of anything nowadays.”
“Then maybe you should think about it for a while.” Miles had always been a serious guy. Quiet and contemplative. He never made judgments quickly, always thought things through. And Anson knew he was just trying to look out for him.
“All I do is think,” he told Miles. “I have lots and lots of time to fucking think. And all it’s made me is angrier and more depressed. You know what made me feel less angry and brought me out of that dark place? What made me feel like there was something bright in my life? Alice.”
Miles stared at him for a long moment. “Then we need to find her.”
Anson let out a deep breath. “I need her, Miles. I’ve fucked this up.”
“You haven’t lost her yet.”
He shot the other man a look. “I will have if she’s gone. She could be fucking anywhere. What if she just kept on driving?”
She better not have. She better be taking breaks and not taking risks or he was going to . . .
What?
Spank her ass? How you going to do that in your state?
Well. A spanking didn’t have to be over his knee. Sure, that was his preferred position. But he could adjust.
Jesus.
Listen to him. He could adjust? When had he ever adjusted for anyone or anything?
Just another way that Alice was changing him. Anson had thought that all change was negative. But change didn’t have to be a bad thing. It could mean that he got a woman with dark hair and sparkling blue eyes.
Eyes that he now realized had some sadness. And that sadness was likely related to some bastard abusing her.
Fuck.
How had he not known that?
Maybe because you didn’t ask her. Perhaps you didn’t make her feel safe enough to confide in you.
“I’m a selfish fucking bastard,” he muttered.
“You’ve been through some shit. You have the right to be selfish.”
“No.” Anson shook his head. “I’ve been so fucking angry at the world because of what happened to me. So fucking furious at Tommy for doing this to me. But that doesn’t mean that bad things aren’t happening to other people. To people I care about.”
“You really think that book is about her personal experience,” Miles said grimly.
“I know it is. It explains so much. Her jumpiness. Her need to grovel and apologize when she did nothing wrong. She nearly had a heart attack when she got my floors dirty. Christ, she looked like she might faint. I should have guessed and I should have been more . . . understanding.”
Amusement filled Miles’ face. “Don’t strain anything.”
“Asshole,” Anson replied without heat. “I can be understanding.”
“You’ve never been understanding in your life,” Miles told him.
He wasn’t wrong.
“How am I going to find her?”
Miles rubbed his forehead. “Look, I can’t help you as the sheriff. But I can help you as a friend. She was in a rental car, right? Do you know where she rented it from?”
“They were state plates. She came from San Diego. She probably flew to Denver and rented a car.”
“So she could head in one of those directions. But did she head to the airport or is she staying somewhere close by?”
“I should call the hotels and motels,” Anson said. “See if she’s booked in anywhere.”
“They won’t tell you that.”
“They will if they think she’s my wife. It’s that or drive past them all and see if her vehicle is there.”
Joey rushed into the room. “She’s not up there. I saw Caldwell and he said he hasn’t heard from her and that he’s planning on renting the place out to someone else. Asshole wouldn’t give me her phone number.”
“He can’t do that,” Anson growled. “Alice said she paid for it until past Christmas. I need to talk to him.”
“Maybe do that after you find her,” Miles said. “Call around, but I never heard you say that you were going to pretend to be her husband. It’s my day off, so I’ll drive around town and see if I can see her vehicle. We’ll find her.”
They better.
Because now that he had decided that he wanted her in his life . . . nothing else was acceptable.