Chapter 8
Matt
I’m nervous.
Which is ridiculous.
Over the past eight years, I’ve coached hundreds—if not thousands—of people.
There’s absolutely no reason I should be nervous about training this woman.
Except for the fact that my heart races whenever she’s near me, and I end up saying all sorts of stupid shit. Not that I’ve ever cared about saying stupid shit before. Saying stupid shit is sort of my thing. Part of my charm, one could say.
But it’s clear that my particular charms do not work on Penny.
Eugene comes up behind me. “Might wanna put those googly eyes away before the ladies come inside.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You’re staring. And your jaw is unhinged.”
He taps my chin, and I instantly close my mouth. I turn away from the window where I suppose I was staring. Penny and Keira are outside our gym having an intense conversation.
“Why don’t you ask her out?” he asks me out of nowhere.
“Who? Penny?”
“Yeah, Penny. She’s single… you’re single…” Eugene hesitates. “At least I think she is. Is she single?”
“No idea. Not interested either way. Totally not my type.”
Eugene scoffs.
“What was that?” I ask.
“It’s the sound I make when I hear some bullshit. Penny’s not your type? Okay.”
He scoffs a second time.
“Will you stop doing that? You sound like you’re choking on a hairball.” I peek out the window again, where the women are still deep in discussion. “Sure, she’s pretty to look at, but she’s the last kind of woman I want to get involved with.”
“And what kind of woman is that?”
“The judge-y kind,” I say. “The uptight kind. The ‘I-wear-designer-suits-at-all-times’ kind. She’s all about keeping up appearances.”
“Wow. Who’s being judge-y now?”
“It’s just obvious she comes from money.”
“You have no idea if that’s true. But even if it is, that says nothing about who she is as a person.”
“Maybe not. But history tells me to steer clear.”
“I’m no psychologist,” Eugene says. “But do you think it’s possible that maybe you’re allowing your experience with your mom and dad to color the way you perceive people? I mean, Penny seems like a solid person and —”
“Oh my god, it looks like Father Christmas took a dump on this place!” Penny’s voice fills the space.
Eugene and I turn and find the two women looking at my—admittedly—epic holiday decorations.
Keira looks delighted.
Penny? Not so much.
“See?” I whisper to Eugene. “Judgy.”
“Welcome to Bossfit Brooklyn, ladies!” Eugene says, putting on his best hosting voice.
“Is it typical to decorate gyms for Christmas? This much?” Penny asks, her disdain clear.
“It is for a guy who wants to go ‘balls deep into Christmas!’” Eugene continues.
“Gene?” I laugh good-naturedly. “Simmer down, will ya?”
“What? That’s literally what you said. You walked into the gym last Friday and said, “Gene. I’ve decided: I’m going balls deep into Christmas this year.”
“You don’t go ‘balls deep’ into Christmas every year?” Penny asks.
“No. I don’t.”
“So why this year?”
“Careful, Penny. With you asking me questions about myself, I might get the idea that you’re interested in me.”
“I am,” she says.
“You are?”
“No! Not like that. No.” Her cheeks get pink, which makes me smile. “I just meant, I find ‘Christmas people’ fascinating. How they get into all this silliness is beyond me.”
“Nothing silly about it,” I say. But then my eyes catch on the plastic Santa statue perched high on our loft, ‘peeing’ a string of white twinkly lights down to the floor, and Penny smirks, her point made.
I rub my hands together. “Let’s get started, shall we?”
“Great!” Keira chimes in. “Penn, why don’t you get into your workout clothes real quick, while I set up the camera. Pick whatever you like. Everything’s your size and will look great on you.”
Everything looks great on this woman.
Shit. I’m staring again.
Gene clears his throat. “I’ll show you to our changing rooms,” he offers and escorts Penny out of sight.
When we’re alone, I lead Keira across the space where our Bossfit Brooklyn logo is proudly painted on the wall. “I was thinking this corner would be best. We have great natural light coming in through these windows. Do you mind the branding, though?”
“The branding is great!” Keira positions her tripod. “Your involvement has already helped Herald’s so much, Matt. We’d love it if this video series brought more business to Bossfit Brooklyn, too.”
“I appreciate that. We can use all the free press we can get.” I scan the equipment I’ve gathered for our shoot.
“Okay. So I have a basic workout planned for her that I think will work nicely. A few wall balls, some L-sits, maybe some toes-to-bar, and then we can wrap it all up with a round of burpees.”
Keira laughs. “I have no idea what any of that means, but I trust you completely.”
“Cool.” I gather some bottles of water and restock the fridge. “Are the Klaus kids doing the holiday show at school this year?”
“Gosh, I don’t know. I heard something about it, but it’s been a real juggle at home lately.” She sighs. “Did we already miss sign-ups?”
“Nope! Sign-ups are tomorrow. The first rehearsal is the day before Thanksgiving. Then we’ll rehearse during recess for three weeks in December until the show.
I’m the director, so you have an in.” I give her a friendly wink.
“Though, truth be told, any kid who wants to do it is automatically part of the cast.”
“Director, huh? For a kids’ holiday show? Seems like a big undertaking for an already busy guy.” Keira gets her camera into place.
“It’s my first year. So I guess we’ll see?”
“How’d you get roped into that?”
“No roping necessary. My coworker who usually helms it is on maternity leave, so I said I’d fill in this year. I went to PS44 myself when I was a kid, and being part of that show was one of the last happy Christmas experiences I remember having, so…”
Whoops. Said too much.
Keira’s eyebrows furrow. “Why? What happened after that?”
“Oh. Um.”
I don’t talk about my dad often. Certainly not to a near stranger who is essentially one of my bosses for the next six weeks. But I did fling the door wide open for her question. I take a deep breath and say, “My, uh, my dad died when I was ten. On Christmas.”
Her face falls. “Shit.”
“Yeah. My mom and I didn’t really celebrate the holiday much after that.”
At all is more like it. My mom and I didn’t celebrate Christmas at all after that.
Keira’s eyes go misty. “Matt, I’m so sorry.”
“All good!” I say as brightly as I can, regretting bringing down the vibe. “Long time ago now.”
“Yeah, but still,” she says. “That must be really hard. What changed?”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“Well, why are you celebrating this year?”
There’s that question again.
The honest answer would make me sound like an awful person, so I’m grateful when Penny and Eugene return and save me from responding.
What comes out of my mouth instead is, “Fuuuuuck meeeeee.”
Because Penny looks… amazing. She’s wearing this hot-as-hell two-piece red Lycra situation. And a scowl on her face.
“Excuse me?” she says.
“Sorry.” I stumble over a weight plate I forgot was on the ground. “That wasn’t an actual request for you to fuck me. It was a rhetorical ‘fuuuuuuck meeee’ moment. Is rhetorical the right word to use in this instance? What I mean is I was just struck by how fucking phenomenal you look right now.”
“Oh,” she says.
Am I imagining it? Or was that a smile? It’s there for a second and gone just as fast.
Like an absolute idiot who can’t be stopped, I continue, “Not that I’d be opposed to you fucking me, because geezuz, you are—”
“Wow!” Eugene shouts at the same moment Keira laughs and says, “Hey now! We’re gonna need to get HR in here with that kind of talk!”
“My apologies.”
I do a bizarre little bow in Penny’s direction. Who do I think I am? Her dirty-talking butler? No. No, I am not a dirty-talking butler. At the moment, I am her personal trainer. So I’d better shut my dirty mouth and start acting like it.
“Truly. I am sorry. You are my boss, and what I said just now was inappropriate.” I scrub a hand over my head. “I take it back. You don’t look phenomenal.”
“I don’t?”
“Nope!” Goddamn, what am I doing now? Insulting her? “You, um, you look… functional. Here at Bossfit Brooklyn, we’re all about functional fitness.” Great, now I sound like a damn infomercial.
“Why don’t you get started with the workout!?” Eugene shouts, trying to save me from myself, which is clearly an impossible job.
“Great idea!” I say. “Shall we get started?”
“Yeah.” Penny smirks. “Let’s get started.”
She joins me in the space I’ve set up for the workout.
I hand her an eight-pound medicine ball. “Here you go.”
“You keep calling me your boss,” she says.
“Well, aren’t you?”
“I suppose. For the next few weeks anyway.”
“Well then, boss.” I wink at her. “Let’s see you sweat.”