Chapter 15
Penny
After signing in at the front office, I follow the school secretary’s directions toward the auditorium, admiring the popsicle snowflake art displayed on the sky-blue concrete walls.
How should I introduce myself when I get in there?
“Hi, kids! So happy to meet you! I’m the woman who stuck my tongue down your PE teacher’s throat yesterday while he was dressed as Santa Claus.
Oh, I tried to blow him too, but he stopped me before I could, which wasn’t humiliating for me at all!
Anyway, happy to be here! Who wants to learn some dance moves? ”
After my tryst with Matt on Saturday—can we call it a tryst when I left the man unsatisfied with his Santa pants around his ankles?
Whatever. He was the one who shut things down— I took my salad up to eat alone in my office so I could avoid facing him again.
I told Dottie I needed to catch up on inventory for the rest of the afternoon and asked that Keira act as Matt’s handler for the rest of the lap-sitting event.
I could tell they both knew something was up with me, but thankfully, they didn’t press the issue and let me lick my wounds in peace.
I seriously considered pulling out of this commitment. I mean, do I really have time to choreograph dance numbers for a little kids’ holiday show? No. No, I don’t.
But here’s the thing: I want to do it.
The second Keira mentioned Matt was looking for a co-director, I instantly wanted to join him. And yes, part of that desire could be this pull between us, but I mostly want to be a part of the dance world again. On my terms this time.
Every night this week, I’ve emailed promising rental spaces for my future studio, and every day I’ve gotten a reply saying, “We’re sorry, it’s taken.” I feel like I’m pushing a boulder up a hill, and it keeps rolling back down on top of me.
One thing’s for sure, though. I’m grateful for all Herald’s has given to me, but I will not let another ten years go by staying in the same place.
Working with these kids twice a week on my lunch break feels like a small step I can take in the right direction.
So I’ll be damned if I let my temporary embarrassment over Matt’s rejection hold me back from walking into that auditorium.
I swing open the door, and all my confidence instantly drains out of me when my eyes land on my handsome co-director.
Matt is standing house left, his back to me as he addresses the group of kids onstage. “Alright, friends. That was a solid warm-up! We feeling limber now?”
“Yes, Mr. B!” they singsong.
“I was hoping we’d have a special guest join us today to help us with our dance numbers, but it looks like you’re stuck with me.
My dance moves aren’t great…” He does some bizarre shoulder shimmies, followed by a round of roger-rabbits, making the kids laugh.
“But they’re committed. That’s all I ask of you, kiddos, during this rehearsal process. Commitment.”
“Who is that?” an adorable little girl with box braids asks and points at me.
Matt whips around. His face positively lights up when he sees me. “Penny! Hi.”
“Hi.” I nod, all business. I save my smile for the kids. “Hey, dancers!” I spot Keira’s kids, Sutton, Sloane, and Sylvan, on stage and give them an extra wave.
“Everybody, this is my friend Penny. Penny is…” Matt hesitates.
“Your choreographer,” I say, keeping my eyes on the kids. “And I’m really excited to join you all on this exciting project.”
“Great!” Matt says, sounding surprised. “This, um, this is great! Why don’t you come on down, and we can get started?”
I jog down the sloped auditorium and place my bag on the seat closest to Matt.
He lowers his voice as he leans toward me. “Not sure if you got my emails. About the other day—”
“Nope,” I whisper. “No need for that. Can we just forget that ever happened and get to work?”
“Is that what you want?” he whispers back.
I get brave and look directly at him. “Yup. That’s what I want.”
There’s a flicker of something in his eyes.
Disappointment maybe? Which doesn’t make sense.
He was the one who shut things down. I was fully prepared to have sex with him right then and there in the middle of my workday.
Not that I’m proud of that, per se, but given the way he rejected me, he has no right to look so forlorn right now.
“I just feel like we should—”
“Matt,” I whisper hiss. “I was having a weird day. Made a bad judgment call. I’m sorry.”
“A bad judgment call,” he repeats.
“Yeah. I think we can both agree that between Herald’s, the social media series Keira has us on together, and now working with these kids, we can’t have… energy between us.”
He clears his throat. “That’s fair. Though, correct me if I’m wrong…
the social media series we’re doing with Keira is successful because of the energy between us.
Have you seen the comments on the photos she posted of us from the other day?
Look.” He pulls out his phone and lowers his voice even more.
“RideMeSidewaze says, ‘These two are HAWT.
They have me so fired up, I just had some me-time and—‘”
“Are you two telling secrets?” a boy with curly red hair and freckles shouts from the stage.
“No, Sam!” Matt shouts back. “Not telling secrets, just coming up with our game plan. I’m so proud of you kids for spending your recesses this month building this show with us. We wanna give you everything we’ve got!”
“Who is our salty peach fairy?” I ask, full voice now.
The little girl who pointed me out when I arrived raises her hand.
“That would be Mikayla,” Matt says.
“Hi again, Mikayla!” I wave to her. She waves shyly back. “If it’s okay with Mr. B…” I turn to look at Matt. “Maybe I can teach Mikayla her special peach dance while you work on group scenes with the rest of the cast?”
Matt’s mouth hangs open.
“Is that okay?” I ask.
“Sure! That’s great! You’re sure you’re ready to dive into the salty peach dance?”
“Yup.” I hold up my phone’s music app. “I found this version of Tchaikovsky’s ‘Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy’ in the public domain and choreographed something. After reading the script you sent last week, I felt inspired and wanted to get started.”
“Inspired?” He chuckles. “That’s generous of you. Like I said before, I’m open to rewrites.”
“I don’t see a need for changes. The script is really funny, Matt.” I place a hand on his shoulder. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you.” His eyes soften. We stare at each other for a few breaths, like we both want to say something more, but we have no idea where to start.
And this isn’t the time or place for deep discussions anyway.
Case in point. Fifteen elementary school kids are staring at us when we look up at the stage again.
“Great!” Matt says, chuckling. “So there’s a greenroom stage left where you and Mikayla can work if you want some privacy. The rest of you? Let’s block the Pumpernickel Party scene we read before Thanksgiving break.”
This show is going to be so freaking weird.
But I’m here for it.
I hop onstage and sidle up next to Mikayla. “Come on, girl. Let’s go have some fun.”
An hour later, the bell rings, signaling the end of recess and, consequently, the end of our rehearsal.
Mikayla and I meet the rest of the cast back onstage, and they do a cute closing group handshake Matt must’ve taught them. They quickly teach it to me, and I instantly feel like part of the team.
“Have a wonderful rest of your day, everybody!” Matt says. “Great work today! Miss Penny will be back with us on Wednesday, and we’ll dive into the Menorahsaurus Dance Battle in Act Two, if that’s okay with you?” He looks toward me.
“Perfect,” I say. “Can’t wait. As your preparation, everyone, please pick your favorite dinosaur and bring in a few fun facts to share about it. I’m really excited to work with all of you.”
And that’s the absolute truth. This past hour flew by.
When Mikayla and I started, she was super timid with the choreography and full of “I can’t do it” and “It’s too hard for me.
” By the end of our time together, she was smiling and twirling and looking like the most exuberant little peach fairy I’ve ever seen.
It filled me with such pride that I had a hand in guiding her to the happy place she found.
“Well, I’m going to head out,” I say with a contented sigh once all the kids have filed out of the auditorium.
“Cool if I walk you out?” Matt asks as he grabs his bag and coat.
“Oh, I figured you had PE classes this afternoon.”
“Nope. Monday is an early day for me.”
A nervous feeling drops into my belly.
“Well then, yeah. Let’s…. walk out.”
He holds the door for me as we exit the school. A gust of wind greets us when we hit the street, and I wrap my coat around myself tighter. “Got chilly, huh?” I say dumbly.
“Sure did,” he says just as awkwardly. “Winter is officially wintering.”
We walk in silence for a block.
“Not officially,” I blurt, regretting it immediately.
“Huh?” he says.
“I just mean it’s not officially winter until the 21st.”
“Oh. True.” He nods, then we fall into silence again.
This is so sad. A few days ago, there were definite vibes between us. Conversation was so natural and fun, and free. Turns out that what I told myself was irritating about him was actually exhilarating.
Then I had to go and ruin it.
“Listen—” we both say at the same time. We stop at a crosswalk and turn to face each other.
“You go first.” I chuckle.
“No, you,” he says. “Please.”
“Okay.” I take a deep breath and let it out. “I like being around you, Matt. I do.”
“Cool,” he says on a relieved sigh. “Me too!”
“And I’m truly sorry I misinterpreted what was happening between us—”
“You didn’t misinterpret, though!” he says. “Penny, seriously, I am—”
I hold up a hand. “Can I just get this out?” I soften my voice. “Sorry. I’m not always great at explaining myself, so I’d like to– ”
“Hey!” A guy in a suit yells from directly behind us. “Can ya move?”
“Can you speak nicely to a lady, buddy?! Huh? Is that possible?!” Matt yells back, completely juiced.
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” I soothe. “Excuse us.”
Matt gives the suit guy the look of death as he guides me gently to the side. We watch him cross the street and continue on his not-so-merry way.
I lean against the building’s brick wall and smile as I watch Matt’s chest rise and fall. “Lost your cool there, huh?”
“Little bit.” He shrugs and smiles back. “Didn’t like the way he spoke to you.”
I stare at him for a beat, marveling over the first impression I had of him and how wrong I turned out to be.
He nods. “You, uh, you were saying?”
“I don’t want things to be awkward between us,” I say simply.
“Me neither.”
“And I don’t want to keep up this whole ‘Penny is a bitch to Matt’ thing either.’”
“Were you ever a bitch to me?” He laughs. “I don’t think you were ever a bitch to me.”
“You know what I mean. I’ve been… crabby to you in the past.”
“Alright,” he jokes. “I can see that. To be fair, though, I can be a lot. A little crabbiness in my presence is understandable.”
I shake my head. “No. I think it was because… I struggle with some stuff that—” I stop myself when I see him hanging on my every word. “You know what? It’s not that interesting. The point I’m trying to get across is that my attitude was a ‘me’ issue. Not a ‘you’ issue.”
“Ah, the classic ‘it’s not you, it’s me,’” he says.
“I don’t mean it like that.” I laugh.
“I get it.” His expression turns thoughtful as he watches a group of kids, laughing as they stroll by. “It sounds like what you’re trying to say is you want to be friends.”
“Cheesy as it sounds… yes?” I wince. “If you’re into that sort of thing?”
“Am I into having friends?” He grimaces. “Not really.”
“Oh.”
“I’m kidding! Of course, I’m into having friends.”
He lightly punches me in the shoulder like we’re bros, and I kind of want to die. I feel like I’m messing this whole thing up.
“That was weird, wasn’t it?” he asks.
“Kind of, yeah.” I laugh. “Maybe we won’t be those kinds of friends?”
“How about the hugging kind of friends?”
He holds his arms out to me, his kind eyes twinkling.
I nod. “I’d like that.”
When I walk into Matt’s arms, he holds me tight, enveloping me in his scent, which I’m finding I crave more and more. A chill runs through me.
“You cold?” he rumbles near my ear, then pulls me even closer, wrapping his coat around me for extra warmth.
As crazy as it sounds, I feel like I belong here. With him. And for some inexplicable reason, my eyes well with tears.
He pulls back and studies me. “You okay?”
“Yeah, yeah.” I wipe my eye with my gloved hand and chuckle. “Cold wind gets me every time.”
He smiles, but I’m not sure he believes me. “You heading back to Herald’s?” he asks gently.
“’Tis the season!” I joke. “How about you? Heading home? Wanna walk west?”
“I’d love to, but I have a—an, uh, an appointment I need to get to.” He nods toward a building across the street. “That building over there, actually.”
“Alright, Mr. Mysterious,” I joke.
“Nah. Not mysterious.” His tone turns serious. “Anything you want to know about me, Penny… just ask.”
“Okay,” I say softly. “I will.”
“You were really great with the kids today, thank you.” He winks. “I’ll catch you at the next rehearsal, friend.”
With a quick squeeze of my hand, he jogs across the street and disappears into the brick building.
I squint to get a closer look at the sign above the entrance.
Murray Hill Memory Care Center.
Huh.
Seems Matt has more layers to him than I ever imagined.