Chapter 6
CLARA
Jessie had given me a ride back over to my apartment to pack more boxes but I was starting to wonder if involving her was a mistake. Instead of helping me gather up my things, she wouldn’t stop begging me to go out with her to the bonfire at the lake.
“My life is in shambles,” I said as I taped a box shut. “This is no time for partying.”
“It’s the perfect time for partying,” she countered. “You need to get drunk while looking at a giant fire. I promise it’ll help you relax. It’s like country therapy.”
“The fire might help me relax,” I said, wondering if I should finish the thought out loud. Jessie was my closest friend in the world though, so I went for it. “But Luke Whitaker won’t.”
She shivered like she’d just gotten a chill. “Luke Whitaker makes me ovulate.”
“Gross.”
“What does he have to do with anything?”
“He’s going to be there tonight.”
Her eyes widened. “No way. How could you possible know that?”
“Um, because he helped me move the first batch of boxes earlier.”
“Liar, you said Nic helped you.”
“He did. And Luke was with him,” I informed her.
“And you waited this long to tell me? What the hell is wrong with you?”
“I tense up around him, that’s what wrong with me.” I shook my head and grabbed another box. “That man is the opposite of relaxing.”
“Oh, I bet there’s something he could do to relax you.”
“Stop. He’s famous and… and he wouldn’t want to have anything to do with me.”
“It’s not what he’ll do with you. It’s what he can do to you.” She waggled her eyebrows.
“Is sex all you think about?”
“When you mention, Luke, then yes. From the front, from behind, upside down. I’m picturing it all.”
“Stay away from him,” I said before I even realized I was going to say it.
She gave me a look. “Well, well, well, looks like someone is staking her claim.”
“I’m not. Although purely for the sake of argument, if one of us were to call dibs on him, it would certainly be me. I’ve known him longer.”
“You can’t call dibs on a person, but point taken. You’re into him. I’ll back off.”
“I’m not.” I huffed.
“It’s nothing to be ashamed of. You’re a grown woman and he’s hot enough to scorch the sun. Go get him. Shit, do it for me.”
“If it ever happens, I promise you’ll be the first to know.”
“I want pictures.”
We laughed.
“My landlord was cool enough to let me out of my lease, even though it was such short notice,” I said. “I won’t have to worry about rent in December, which is a Christmas miracle all on its own. Especially now that my car needs fixing.”
“Nic charges you? That’s cold.”
I smiled. “He only charged me for parts. But my point was, I need to be out of my place before the end of the month. So, please, help me pack this shit up.”
“I’ll make a deal with you. I’ll help you get through the rest of this if you come with me to the bonfire. Say yes.”
“Jessie, come on.”
“Those are my terms. Take it or leave it.”
“Luke isn’t the only reason I don’t want to go tonight.” I looked down at the tape in my hands. “Everyone in town will know about the theater shutting down for the winter and me getting laid off, and how I’m now an unemployed, washed-up, wannabe loser with no money and no future.”
Jessie shook me by the shoulders until I felt my neck pop. “Half the people going tonight are unemployed losers. You think Two-Tooth Timmy cares what people think about him? No, he drinks through a straw and has a great time.”
“Where does he get the confidence?” I asked quietly.
“For him, it might be the meth, but my point remains, okay? You’ll have fun tonight. If you just let yourself go and do it.”
I shook my head, my resolve crumbling but not quite gone. “What would I even wear?”
“Oh, my little baby bird, I’ll take care of that. Once I’m done, we’ll have Luke chasing you around the fire.”
Before I knew it, my stuff was all packed up, we dropped it off at my parents’ place, and Jessie had me back at her apartment.
She tried to dress me in a skirt so short I would need two hairstyles to wear it out in public.
I talked her down to some cute tights and a clingy sweater dress that made me look pretty good.
By the time we left, I was feeling as confident as Two-Tooth Timmy.
The fire was already roaring when we pulled into the field that served as a makeshift parking lot. The party was out on Reed Ranch, just outside the city. Plenty of people from town were there, along with folks from the farms and ranches nearby.
Music played from someone’s truck. A couple of kegs had been setup in tubs of ice, and there was some kind of trashcan punch I wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole. Farmers drank like there was no tomorrow. The punch probably had Everclear, paint thinner, and antifreeze in it.
Jessie ran off to get a beer. I found a hard cider in a cooler and grabbed it, figuring it was a safe bet. I wasn’t trying to lose control. I just wanted to relax and not feel afraid about the future for one night. Was that too much to ask?
Alone, I glanced around to see if I knew anyone.
I did, of course, but no one I wanted to talk to.
A couple of girls who were supposed to be in my canceled show were handing out Jello shots.
I went in the opposite direction. Talking to them would just make me start crying again and I was so tired of being sad all the time.
A long swallow of cider lit a fire in my belly. I stared at the actual flames of the bonfire, dancing in the destruction. The tension in my shoulders faded a little. I raised my bottle in a lonely toast, saying, “To bigger and better things!”
A red Solo cup tapped against my bottle, completing the toast I never meant for anyone else to hear. The cup belonged to Luke. “I’ll drink to that,” he said in his deep baritone.
I desperately hoped he couldn’t see how red my cheeks were in the flickering firelight. Or how weak my knees were. I might have run if my legs could move.
Having him stand so close to me, the fire painting him in shifting shadows, it all felt like a fever dream. I reached out and poked my finger in his broad chest. He felt real enough. I pulled my hand away quickly.
“What are you doing?” he asked, smiling down at me curiously.
“What are you even doing here right now?”
He smiled and looked around. “It’s a party,” he said slowly. “What do you think I’m doing here?”
“No, I mean here in Harrison City. In Texas. You’re some bigtime sports guy, right? So why the hell are you hanging out in Reed’s field with a bunch of nothings, drinking piss beer instead of fancy whiskey?”
“You’re not nothings. Damn.” He locked eyes with me and shook his head. “Are you always so hard on yourself?”
“Nope, we’re not talking about me.”
Luke held his hands up in surrender. “I prefer fancy bourbon to whiskey, but I hear you. The fact is, I wasn’t planning on staying in town after Thanksgiving but my brothers convinced me to stick around for a few extra days. I have to say, I’m glad I did.”
I looked at him. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.” He shrugged. “It’s been nice slowing down. And catching up with Nic. That dipshit is still my best friend.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Even though you’ve barely spoken to him over the years?”
Luke rubbed the back of his neck guiltily. “I mean, I don’t know if I’m still his best friend, but he’s still mine. But you’re right. I should call him more.”
“I think he’d like that.” I was so used to seeing Luke on TV now that I wasn’t ready for him to be all sweet and vulnerable with me. It melted my insides and made me want to cuddle into his strong chest.
“So what happened out in California?” he asked, and all my good feelings turned to ash.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, looking away from him.
“I’m not trying to pry, but Nic mentioned you were working out there for a while. I’m just curious what you were up to.” He took a drink from his cup, but when I didn’t answer, he kept talking. “Like I do a TV show. Were you in movies? Commercials? Plays?”
That was safer ground. He wasn’t asking about what happened with Henry. “I did some set design on a few movies.”
“That’s awesome,” he said, nodding like he meant it. “Anything I would have seen?”
I smiled. “Probably not. Unless you like Hallmark movies.”
“Ahh, I might have missed your work then.” He grinned, and I could have sworn I kept catching him studying my face when he thought I wasn’t looking.
I noticed because I was feeling the same urge to study every angle of his jaw and cheekbones. The hot high school quarterback had matured. He was polished and well put together. The differences drew the eye almost irresistibly.
“What about New York?” he asked.
“What about it?”
“You want to work out there. Have you ever thought of coming for a visit?”
My eyes widened and my mouth fell open. “I’m sorry, but are you inviting me to visit you in New York?”
“Not specifically,” he said. “But sure, if you ever decide you want to check things out, you’re welcome at my place anytime. I have plenty of spare rooms and I’m hardly ever there.”
“Thank you, that’s a generous offer. But my New York goals are going to have to wait. And I’d really rather not talk about it anymore.”
Luke gazed into my eyes and I refused to look away first. Whatever he was looking for, he seemed to find it because he nodded slowly. “I’m upsetting you. That’s not my intention.”
I shrugged. “It’s fine. Whatever.”
“I’ll go,” he said, sticking his hand in his pocket. “But first, a peace offering.”
He handed me one of those tiny candy canes, a big grin on his face. I couldn’t tell if he was trying to remind me of the night of the Christmas Spectacular. That night had confirmed my love of the theater, and sitting on Luke’s lap had led to a sexual awakening I was still reeling from.
I could never tell him that, or about how often I watched his show, even though I didn’t give a single shit about football. I could never tell him that, candy cane or not, when he’d grabbed my hips and held onto me like he was protecting me from Dixie, I had fallen head-over-heels for him.
“I hope that’s not the same one from your old Santa costume,” I said.
“No, that one was much bigger.” He grinned at me and walked away, leaving me shaken and breathless.
As I stood on the outskirts of the party, twirling the candy cane over my fingers, Luke looked back over his shoulder at me like he wanted to take me home with him. Then he disappeared.
Jessie found me a few minutes later. She had two beers, two ciders in her pockets, and a bright red top hat she hadn’t shown up with. “Did I miss anything good?”