Chapter 6
six
EMERIE
Taking a step back from the outside decorations, I smile at the progress I’ve made. I can’t wait to see them light up the night with their brightness.
Last night, after the unexpected dinner with Calder, I came home and went to bed. I could’ve started decorating then, but I’d been worked up from being so close to him. I ended up using my fingers to relieve some of the ache between my thighs, granted it didn’t do much.
I wanted Calder and was refusing to allow myself to have him.
At some point after I’d fallen asleep, Calder had joined me in bed. I knew this because he’d been wrapped around me when I woke up. The feel of him there felt so right. I wanted to roll over and plant my lips against his. Only I didn’t. I eased out of the bed, escaping him like a scared puppy.
I haven’t even seen him since. He left while I’d been in the shower and hiding from him. I don’t know what all he does, but I’d hoped he’d have stopped me before leaving, at least to say he was going.
It didn’t matter, though. Not really.
Our marriage was one of convenience as it were. For all I know, he’s got a lover already, and he’s gone to be in her arms.
The thought causes my stomach to roll at the very idea of Calder being with anyone else.
I never wanted that type of marriage. My parents had it, and it’s what ended up killing my mom.
However, my father would say differently.
He claims the Devore family was behind it.
I don’t believe that and never have. What I think is that my father didn’t like the friendship she had with Grant Devore’s father and put a stop to it the only way he knew how by being his evil self.
I sigh and shake the negative thoughts away. Without talking to Calder about it, I don’t know if he is with someone or not, and I don’t want to assume something if there’s a chance it’s not what he’s doing. I need to talk to him about it, let him know where my head is at.
But I can’t do anything if I can’t find him. I’ll have to wait until he’s back to do so.
Until then, I suppose I can explore the house. Figure out where I want things.
First things first, I want to get myself some warm hot chocolate.
It’s gotten a lot colder out in the past several hours.
I know on the news this morning, they said a cold front was sweeping through with the possibility of snow.
I won’t hold my breath on the chance of seeing white thick flakes.
If anything, it might be the wet stuff that simply makes people crazy and causes accidents on the road.
Inside, I find exactly what I’m looking for in the kitchen. Once I have the rich chocolatey goodness ready, I take a sip and moan at how good it tastes. So good.
With my mug in hand, I start walking around the house, starting with the rooms downstairs.
In the living room, I have boxes and bags situated with decorations I intend to do this evening, hopefully with Calder. I didn’t care if he was going to be grumpy about it or not. I wanted him here with me because it’s supposed to represent our first Christmas together.
It sounds stupid, but it’s what I want.
As spacious as the living room is with its furnishings, it’s still cold. There’s no personality to it. No framed photos. Nothing.
Calder’s bedroom was the same way.
Moving from room to room, it’s all the same, cold and empty.
Except for the last room on the first floor.
It’s Calder’s office, and it’s not cold, but it’s also not personified either.
There were papers on his desk, neatly stacked.
The monitor was dark, and there was a laptop with a cable running to it.
Interesting. He’s running a dual monitor setup like this rather than using a desktop system.
I guess it could be handy when he needs to take his laptop with him.
But why didn’t he take it when he left this morning?
Twisting around, I walk along the dark oak shelves lining his walls.
There were books among them, along with other things, including a few swords, an axe, and a collection of knives.
It seems this room is filled with some personality of some sort.
He likes things with blades, which gives me an idea to talk to a friend of mine who makes custom ones.
It’s a hobby of hers and she’s great at it.
Even has an online store for her to sell them on.
I’m wondering if she could have something ready by Christmas. Not that I’m making conclusions about him being okay to spend the day with me or anything. I’m simply being hopeful when there probably won’t be any.
Running my fingers along the edges of the shelves, I jerk back when one of the walls opens up, exposing a closet the size of a room. But this wasn’t just a closet. It’s an arsenal closet.
I can’t help staring into the room filled with weapons—all sorts of guns, knives, and so on. There was even a whiteboard with pictures clipped to it with writing underneath. One of the pictures had an X crossed out over the face.
“Oh my God,” I whisper, realizing what I’m seeing.
It’s a hitlist.
Slowly, I back out, unsure of what to make of what I’d just seen. I expect the door to close on its own, but it doesn’t. I don’t know how to close it either. For that matter, I don’t know how I opened it.
Glancing around the room, I don’t see anyone, like I was expecting to.
Shaking my head, I rush out of Calder’s office into the kitchen, where I set the mug of half-drunk hot chocolate and start pacing.
Calder was a hitman. There’s no question about it. I’m married to a man who kills people for a living. Worse, my father had to have known about it, and still all but sold me to him.
Oh God.
What am I going to do?
I can’t stay here, not after what I just found out.
Could I?
“No,” I whisper the words to my unspoken question.
Moving through the house, I rush upstairs and pack a bag, not that I had much unpacked. Most of it was still in boxes. I wasn’t going to be able to take it all with me. I grab what I can and run back down the stairs, grab the keys to the SUV I drove yesterday, and dart out to it.
I know I can’t really take this car anywhere, not with it having a tracker, but I can get it to a car rental place or even an airport.
Calder didn’t like that I used what he called ‘Daddy’s money’, but it wasn’t my father’s money I used last night. It was mine. I’ll use my money again today to get a ticket or rental to get out of town. Or at least to get somewhere where I can think about what all is going through my mind.
I mean, I don’t know what to think about all of this.
I knew my father had shady dealings. I’ve always known. I’m not a clueless bimbo who demands things be given to her like some spoiled princess. That’s not me. I’ve kept my eyes open.
Ugh.
Why does Calder have to be a part of such a horrible ordeal?
Why would he marry me?
What is he going to get out of all of this?
None of it matters.
Not right now.
Releasing a heavy breath, I drive through town, heading, I don’t even know where.
An hour later, I find myself pulling into the lot of a car rental. Thirty minutes after that, I have a rental car and am heading north, still unsure exactly why I’m running away.
It doesn’t matter. I’ll get somewhere and then I’ll figure my head out.
* * *
Night falls hours before I find a place to stop for the night. I’ll probably end up being stopped here for more than just a night. The snow was coming down hard, and the roads were barely visible when I finally pulled into a hotel. I managed to get off I-85 and onto I-40 before pulling off.
For some reason, I started heading toward Tennessee without even thinking. I hadn’t been there before, but I figured going into the mountains would be a great place to think.
I pull into the hotel I picked for the night and find a spot to park.
Turning the car off, I throw my phone in my bag and get out. I’m blasted with the cold air, and fat snowflakes hit my nose. Maybe I should have thought this through a little more because I definitely didn’t pack a thick enough coat. Or anything warmer than a sweatshirt.
Darting across the parking lot as fast as I can without slipping on the already slick walkway, I rush for the entrance. Stopping long enough to wipe my feet on the floor mat before walking over to the reception desk.
“Welcome, how may I assist you?”
“A room for one,” I tell the woman behind the desk. “I was planning for one night, but with the weather, I’m not sure.”
“The roads are probably going to be pretty bad tomorrow, but the storm’s going to be gone by middle of tomorrow. Roads should be better day after. They try to keep the roads clear as much as possible, especially when we’re this close to the interstate.”
“Okay, so let’s go with two nights just to be on the safe side.” Two nights. That should give me time to think about what I’d seen and get my head wrapped around what Calder does and if I can handle it or not.
I hand my card and ID over to the woman so she can get me all checked in. Once finished, she hands me my things along with a key card with my room number.
Taking my things, I head for the elevator, press the buttons, and wait.
So many things to worry about in such a short amount of time. I don’t know what I’m thinking, which is probably my problem. I need to be able to come to terms with it. Maybe. I just don’t know.
The moment I make it into the room, I lock the door, toss my things into the chair, and flop down on the bed. My head throbs as I close my eyes. I should probably eat, but I can’t think about food right now. I want to lie here with my eyes closed and wish things were different for me.
Rolling to my side, I allow myself to fall asleep to dream about the man of my dreams. Even in my dreams, he looks just like Calder.