Chapter 6
If there was one thing she hated about herself, it was that she couldn’t leave well enough alone.
There was no justification for crashing Nick’s date with Hannah after Fliss left, yet here she was like some over-jolly third wheel, sipping champagne and acting like she was happy to see the woman she envied more than any other on a date with the guy who stirred… Well, it was complicated.
The jazz trio had taken a break, and the background music was Michael Bublé singing classic Christmas songs.
He had a great voice for it, but Cora preferred more poppy songs like the “Christmas Wrapping” song by The Waitresses.
Actually, that one really appealed to her because it made her feel seen.
She forgot things, she missed dates and worked too hard. But it was her life.
“We were just talking about our favorite Christmases,” Hannah said. “You always seem so full of the holiday spirit, I bet you have some happy memories.”
As a child, she’d learned that no one wanted to hear sad holiday stories.
Kids at school had been uncomfortable when she’d described her true situation and that was when she’d started with the white lies.
It hurt no one if the other kids thought she had a loving family and did all the things she overheard others mentioning.
Luckily, she didn’t have to fib anymore.
She’d gathered a few nice memories since she’d started working for the Winter Wonderland and Cora had no problem trotting out her greatest hits. This was familiar ground.
“Well, my second year as Winter Wonderland festival director, everything was perfect. Everything. The tree didn’t have a bad side, the toy that Next Gen brought us sold like you wouldn’t believe—no glitches with it.
Attendance broke the previous year’s record.
And that was the first time I got to go on The Today Show. Dream come true.”
Lifting her champagne flute toward the others, she winked at Hannah and took a sip. Cora noted that Nick was drinking red wine. Watching the way his throat moved as he swallowed made her feel warm and toasty inside.
Hannah looked pretty tonight and fragile.
December was going to be hard on her. In a way, this proved Cora was right to stay single.
She’d always known that marriage wasn’t for her.
Her parents had soured her on the institution when she was a child, but seeing Hannah’s heartbreak first-hand reinforced it.
Even if Cora could fall in love—something she wasn’t entirely sure she believed in—she never wanted to be the way Hannah was now.
It hurt to see all those emotions on the other woman’s face. Hannah cared a lot—maybe too much. It was dangerous to let herself be that vulnerable. That was definitely part of the reason why Hannah rubbed her the wrong way. She was everything Cora knew she’d never be.
“What about you, Hannah?”
“Oh my, well, the first Christmas we had with Sophie. Everything was different that year, more special in a way. Like, for the first time I realized what the holiday was really about. We didn’t buy a lot of toys.
Instead, we took time together and with her.
Showing her the lights on the tree and in the neighborhood.
Spending time with the grandparents. It was the same when Max was born. ”
Sounded lame. Immediately Cora recognized envy. Whenever she dismissed something so quickly, she knew it was down to the green-eyed monster.
She took a healthy swallow of her champagne and signaled the server for another glass. “Nick?”
He leaned back in his chair. He looked so different tonight in a suit. Sexy and corporate. It was hard to not stare at him, but he was ticking all of her boxes. Making her heart beat a little faster. Making her want to say something shocking and stir up trouble with him.
“Sort of a mix between you two. When my sister and I were little, we used to sit up all night on Christmas Eve waiting for our dad to get home.”
“He had to work?”
“Always, but he loved his job and he brought so much joy, so we understood.”
Cora didn’t know if she believed that or not. “Really? You weren’t resentful at all?”
“Mom made it special for us. She’d read us stories and let us eat as many cookies as we wanted,” he said.
Again, she felt deep, grinding envy. Cora’s parents had never acted the way that either Hannah and her husband had, or Nick’s mom had. Hers had hated each other from Cora’s earliest memories and made sure everyone around them knew it.
“Sounds lovely,” Hannah said. “Usually we just watch our favorite Christmas movie and then put out cookies for Santa. Then I hustle the kids to bed—”
Tears bloomed in Hannah’s eyes. Cora guessed she was remembering a particular thing she and her husband used to do.
Cora put her hand over Hannah’s. She might find Hannah a little cringe but her emotions were real, and they affected Cora more than she wanted them to.
“We’re introducing carols around the tree on Christmas Eve this year,” she said.
“It will be a free event. You should come. Start a new tradition.”
If anyone knew the best way to dodge sadness at the holidays, it was Cora. The busyness she generated left no time to dwell on the past or on what could have been.
“Thanks, Cora. I think we might.”
Nick watched her like she’d grown a second head. She gave him a look. “You’re welcome as well.”
“I have plans,” he said.
“On Christmas Eve?”
“Yes. It’s my busiest night.”
“You work Christmas Eve? That’s a bit extreme,” she said.
“Not really,” he said. “It’s tradition. Deliveries run smoother if I oversee them.”
“Oversee deliveries?” Cora’s eyes met Hannah’s and they both smiled. “What are you, Santa?” Cora couldn’t help laughing at her own joke.
“I’ve been called worse,” Nick said with a cheeky grin. “But I’ll try to stop by your Christmas Eve event and listen in. Singing carols always raises the spirits.”
Cora agreed. It was why she had carols piped into her office—the staff often sang along to them and she’d noted that when they did they were more efficient.
They also responded well to an office Secret Santa.
She never participated herself but always made sure her staff had what they needed.
She was much better at giving than receiving, because giving was more certain and you were in control of it.
Hoping to receive and being disappointed was too devastating, even after all these years.
Something was different about Cora tonight.
Nick couldn’t put his finger on it, but when she’d reached over to touch Hannah’s hand, a wave of empathy had swelled from her.
She’d argued for him to participate in this year’s festival for the children and invited him to the carol singing around the tree.
He’d thought she was superficially promoting all things Christmas for her own gain, but he was starting to see signs that underneath her brash exterior she felt deeply and cared a great deal. It was hard to marry the notion of a woman on the Naughty List with this version of Cora.
The key to getting her back on the Nice List had to be discovering the traditions that resonated with her and the people that mattered in her life.
It was interesting to him that an expression of grief had been what had prompted her to reach for Hannah, despite the obvious frostiness between them.
But she was the one who’d approached them…
Why?
Hannah’s phone pinged and she fumbled for it. Reading the message on the screen, her face tightened. “Sorry to do this, but I have to go. Max has some sleep issues and needs me.”
“I totally understand,” Nick said. “Let me get the check and I’ll see you home.”
“Nonsense. Stay and finish your drink. I’ll catch a taxi home.”
Cora sat quietly sipping her champagne, watching the interplay between them.
“I’ll be right back.” Getting up, he escorted Hannah out to wait for her cab. The evening was cold and clear with just a hint of snow in the air. “Thanks for a nice evening.”
“You too. I hope you find what you’re looking for, Nick. I bet you will,” she said, then went up on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek.
“Call me the next time it’s couples date night in your mom group,” he reminded her as her car pulled up and she left.
He hurried back inside, curious to see if Cora was going to stay or not.
She had moved to Hannah’s vacated seat and the table had been cleared of their dessert dishes.
She had a fresh glass of champagne in front of her and there was a pensive look on her face as she stared down at the table.
The other diners in the restaurant were laughing and talking but she was a quiet little island all to herself.
“Hannah’s on her way home,” he said as he sat back down.
“That’s good. So … you’re dating her?”
Nick rubbed the back of his neck, wishing he could loosen his tie. He really wasn’t a fan of them. “No, I’m not. We matched on the True North dating app, but we’re better as friends.”
“Most people don’t try to start a new relationship right before the holidays,” Cora said.
“Like yourself?”
“That’s me, year-round,” she admitted. “Not you?”
“No. Definitely not. I need a wife by December twenty-fourth,” he said.
She choked on the sip of champagne she’d taken and forced out a laugh, as though he’d made a joke.
“And Hannah’s the one?”
He shrugged, not wanting to go into detail right now. It seemed to amuse Cora that he was searching for a woman to share his life with.
“Why aren’t you interested in a long-term relationship?”
Cora raised both eyebrows at him. “Not my thing. I mean, after seeing Hannah’s grief, why are you? I’m not sure I believe in love, but she does. She loved her husband deeply and you can see the toll it’s taking on her. I wouldn’t want to go through that.”
“Not every marriage ends that way,” he reminded her.
“Why take a chance? I have a good life by myself.”