Chapter 6 Santino
By Day Four, I need to talk to someone before I lose my mind.
I'm at the social club by eight in the morning, earlier than usual. Bruno's already there with coffee, and within thirty minutes the rest of the crew filters in. Paulie with his phone. Tommy with his newspaper. Sal with his opinions.
"Morning, boss." Bruno slides an espresso across the table. "You look like hell."
"Thanks."
"How's the engagement going?" Paulie grins. "Still got all your fingers? Toes? Sanity?"
I take a long drink of espresso before answering. "I need to tell you something." They all look at me. "About Liana," I continue.
"Oh, this is gonna be good." Paulie sets down his phone, full attention on me now. "What'd she do?"
Where do I even start?
"The other night. At Marconi's." I set down my cup. "She ordered a salad. Plain lettuce. Said she was on a diet."
"Okay?" Bruno waits.
"Then she ate my entire steak. Twenty-four ounces. All of it."
Silence.
"What do you mean she ate your steak?" Tommy asks.
"I mean she asked for one bite. Then another bite. Then kept asking until there was no steak left." I can feel my jaw clenching just remembering it. "And every time she took a piece, she put lettuce on my plate. Like a trade."
Paulie starts laughing. "She traded you lettuce for steak?"
"It's not funny,” I snap at him.
"It's a little funny, boss."
"She ate four desserts." I talk over his laughter. "Four. After claiming she was too full to eat. She ordered them for me, then ate every single one herself."
"Four desserts?" Sal raises his eyebrows. "What kind?"
"Why the fuck does it matter? Tiramisu, chocolate cake, panna cotta, cannoli. Gone. All of it."
"Maybe she was hungry," Tommy suggests.
"She said she was on a diet. That’s why she only ordered lettuce."
"Women say a lot of things about diets," Sal says. "Doesn't mean they stick to them. Don’t listen to one damn word they ever say about diets. It’s all lies."
"Then she drank half my cognac," I continue. "While explaining some reality show about people named Tyler and Madison and someone getting eliminated."
Bruno's trying not to smile. "She drank your cognac."
"Yes."
"And told you about a reality show."
"Yes."
"Boss," Paulie says carefully. "Did you eat anything at this dinner?"
"No. I stopped at a burger place on the way home and ate in my car like some kind of criminal because I was starving."
Now they're all trying not to laugh.
"You spent what, four, five hundred bucks on dinner and left hungry?" Sal shakes his head. "That's rough."
"That's not even the worst part." I lean back in my chair. "Last night. Dinner at my parents' house."
"Oh no." Bruno sounds concerned now. "What happened?"
"She offered to have my grandmother move in with us."
"I'm sorry, what?" Bruno leans forward.
"Nonna. She wants Nonna to live with us after we're married. Said it in front of my entire family. My mother, my father, my aunts and uncles. Everyone."
"Your ninety-two-year-old grandmother," Tommy clarifies. "Move in with you. And your new wife."
"Yes."
Sal whistles low. "That's bold."
"That's insane." I run my hand through my hair. "Who does that? Who offers to have their husband’s grandmother move in? We're not even married yet."
"What'd you say?" Bruno asks.
"What could I say? 'No, Nonna, I don't want you'? In front of everyone?" I shake my head. "She trapped me. I say no, I look like a terrible grandson. I say yes, I'm living with my grandmother as a newlywed. Even my mother doesn’t want Nonna living in her house."
"Did Nonna agree to it?" Tommy asks.
"She looked amused. Like it was all very entertaining to her."
Paulie's grinning again. "I like this girl."
"You wouldn't if you were engaged to her."
"I don't know, boss." Paulie leans back, crosses his arms. "She's gorgeous. Like, really gorgeous. You're complaining about a hot woman who wants to take care of your grandmother? Some guys would kill for that. I’m not sure I see the problem here."
Something hot flares in my chest. "Don't."
"Don't what?"
"Talk about her like that."
Paulie blinks. "Like what? I just said she's hot."
"I know what you said."
"Boss, relax. I'm just saying, you could do worse. She's a little weird with food and really into family. You're gonna marry her anyway, right? Might as well enjoy the perks." He makes a crude gesture. "And those big titties are definitely perks."
"Paulie." My voice is low. Dangerous. "Stop talking."
"Whoa, okay." He holds up his hands. "Didn't know she was off-limits for jokes."
"Of course she’s off-limits. We’re getting married for fuck’s sake!"
"Exactly. Which means in a little over a month, you're gonna be—"
"Finish that sentence and you're done."
Paulie's eyes widen. "Jesus Christ, boss. I'm just saying what everyone's thinking."
"Then everyone needs to stop thinking it."
Sal chuckles. "He has a point though. Girl like that? Face, body, the whole package? You could overlook a lot of crazy shit for that."
"I'm not overlooking anything." I glare at him. "And she's not crazy."
"You just spent ten minutes telling us she ate your dinner, stole your drink, and invited your grandmother to move in," Bruno points out. "That sounds a little crazy."
"She's not crazy. She's just..." I struggle for the word. "Enthusiastic. Clueless, maybe. But not crazy."
"Defensive much?" Paulie mutters.
I shoot him a look that makes him shut up.
Bruno's watching me carefully now. That look he gets when he's analyzing something. "You like her."
"What?"
"You like her. That's why you're pissed at Paulie for talking about her like that."
"I don't like her. I barely know her."
"But you're defending her."
"Because she'll be my wife and you're being disrespectful."
"We're always disrespectful," Tommy points out. "You never cared before."
"That was different."
"How?"
I don't have a good answer for that.
"Look," Sal says. "You want my opinion? Girl sounds a little off, but not in a bad way. Maybe she's got an eating disorder or something. Would explain the diet talk and then eating everything."
"She doesn't have an eating disorder," I say automatically. "Does she?"
"How would we know?" Bruno spreads his hands. "You're the one engaged to her."
"She ate four desserts. That's not an eating disorder, that's just gluttony."
"Maybe she's just really comfortable with you," Tommy suggests. "Some women, when they like a guy, they stop pretending. Stop being on their best behavior. Could be a compliment."
"Eating my dinner is a compliment?"
"Means she feels safe with you. Doesn't feel like she has to impress you anymore."
"We've known each other three days."
"Love at first sight?" Paulie offers, then quickly adds when I glare at him, "Just a theory."
"She's not in love with me."
"Then why'd she offer to have your grandmother move in?" Bruno asks. "That's a pretty big commitment for someone who doesn't care."
"Because she volunteers with old people. She told me. Every other Saturday at some senior center. Said she loves them, had a grandmother who lived with her family." I remember the conversation in the car. "She seemed genuine about it."
"She's nice," Tommy says. "Sweet. Just a little weird."
"A little?" I look at him. "She traded lettuce for steak, Tommy. Lettuce."
"Okay, a lot weird." He shrugs. "But nice weird. Not dangerous weird."
"There's a difference?"
"Sure. Dangerous weird is unpredictable. Volatile. Stalkerish. Nice weird is just quirky. Harmless."
"Harmless," I repeat. "She's systematically destroying every meal we have together and volunteering me to be a live-in caretaker for my grandmother. That's not harmless."
"But it's not malicious either," Bruno points out. "It's just her."
I sit with that for a moment. Just her.
Is this really who Liana is? Enthusiastic, food-obsessed, overly generous with offers to house elderly relatives?
Or is there something else going on?
"What if she's doing it on purpose?" I ask. They all look at me. "What if she's trying to drive me crazy? Make me back out of the arrangement?"
"Why would she do that?" Bruno asks. "Her family needs this alliance as much as we do."
"I don't know. But something feels off."
"Off how?" Sal leans forward. "She treating you bad? Being cruel?"
"No."
"Disrespectful?"
"No, she's actually very respectful."
"Then what's the problem?"
"The problem is—" I stop. What is the problem? "She's not what I expected."
"Expected what? A quiet little wife who stays in her lane?" Sal snorts. "Kid, no woman is ever what you expect. That's rule one."
"My ex-wife seemed normal at first too," he continues. "Three months in, I realized she was completely insane. But by then I was already married. You, on the other hand, got over a month more to figure it out."
"Figure what out?"
"If you can handle her." Sal shrugs. "Because if you can't, walk away now. Don't wait until you're stuck."
"I'm not walking away." The words come out automatic. Defensive. "This alliance is too important."
"Right. The alliance." Bruno's still watching me with that look. "Nothing to do with the girl herself."
"Of course not." I'm trapped in this conversation and I don't know how I got here. "She's fine. She's beautiful. She's... energetic."
"Energetic," Tommy repeats. "That's one word for it."
"She ate your steak," Paulie points out again, clearly unable to let it go. "That's not energetic, that's just rude."
"She didn't mean to be rude. She was just hungry."
"Then why'd she order a salad?"
"I don't know! Because she's on a diet!"
"But then she ate everything anyway."
"I know!" I'm getting frustrated now. "I don't understand it either. That's why I'm telling you."
"Maybe you should ask her," Bruno suggests. "Like, actually talk to her. About what she's thinking. What she wants."
"We talk."
"About what? Reality shows and lettuce trades?"
I glare at him.