Chapter 2 #2
“You’re missing the point, guys. She wants to make a change, and I think we should let her.
” I saw the change in Ma’s expression and hurried to change my wording before she reminded me that she was the one in charge and I shouldn’t ever forget it.
“Know that we support her in anything she wants to do.”
“Good save,” Ma said with a tight smile.
“I’m the smart son, remember?” I asked. “Ma, whatever you want to do is fine with us, and we’ll have a sit-down and figure out who might be best to work with you and learn your everyday tasks for running the farm.”
“I’ve already figured it out, and now it’s up to you to make it happen.”
“How do I do that?”
“Use that big brain of yours.”
◆◆◆
STARLA
When my phone buzzed, I didn’t have to look at it to know who had sent the message.
Since I first talked to Ma a few months ago, we’d been in almost constant contact.
During the day, we usually texted, but occasionally she called me while getting ready for bed in the evening, usually around the time I was making dinner.
Our conversations reminded me of scenes in movies or television shows. Unlike characters on those sitcoms, I didn’t grumble or complain when the phone rang. I knew I’d talk to Ma for at least half an hour, and rather than dread it, I looked forward to every conversation.
Except for the times she asked about my history and what I’d been up to since she last saw me.
Those were difficult only because I was ashamed to tell her about the trouble I’d gotten into.
But she took it all in stride and assured me she didn’t think badly of me for my record, as long as I’d promised myself I’d never repeat my mistakes.
I’d done more than promise myself I’d remain a free woman; I’d worked my ass off to make sure of it.
Luckily, I never had any problems with drugs or alcohol, so I couldn’t blame them for the choices I made. Instead, when things got hard, I took the easy route and became a thief. I tried to tell myself I was more of a Robin Hood than a criminal because I stole from the rich to help the poor.
But unlike that fictional character, I was the poor person in the scenario and used whatever I stole for myself.
Unfortunately, my string of petty crimes added up to a long sentence.
When the state finally released me, I was right back where I’d started: if I wanted to eat, I had to steal.
If I wanted to stay warm in the cold, I had to break into places for shelter.
The list of reasons went on and on. I relied on people most folks wouldn’t even think of trusting, and that only pulled me deeper into the rabbit hole of problems, crimes, and consequences.
Most people would ask, “Why don’t you just get a job like everyone else?” Unfortunately, legitimate jobs almost always require a diploma and a clean record. I have neither.
Luckily, when I violated my parole for the umpteenth time and returned to prison, my PO pushed for me to go to a facility with a trial program for men and women who were products of the system and had been part of it since childhood.
People without family or a support system finally got a chance to better themselves instead of sinking deeper into the grind of prison life that didn’t help us at all.
I learned quite a few things during my first prison sentence, but they mostly concerned survival, both inside the walls and outside after my release.
My second stint in prison looked very different: I studied for my GED, learned several work skills, and even earned a college degree to help me find a job.
Before I finished my second stint, a program in Rojo, Texas accepted me.
It aimed to help women who needed extra support to succeed.
Through the program, I met Lark Forrester and the rest of the Texas Queens MC.
Those women became my saving grace. Lark even let me move into a small apartment in her barn rent-free until I could get on my feet.
She even introduced me to a wonderful man whom, for a while, I thought might be “the one.” Unfortunately, things between us didn’t work out, but we were able to remain good friends through the breakup and still talked often.
And now that I was “off paper” (convict slang for finishing parole), the world was my oyster and I was ready to explore it.
I was ready as long as the world didn’t require me to leave the comfort of the small town I’d learned to call home and the friends I’d made here.
The people I met in Rojo were like the family I’d never had, other than during the short stint in Leavenworth, Kansas, when I lived in Ma’s house as a foster child.
Over the years, usually when I tried to sleep in my bunk surrounded by people I couldn’t trust, I wondered what my life might have been like if they’d allowed me to stay in Kansas with Ma and her family.
The day the caseworker took me away from the farm was the first time I thought about running away.
When she dropped me off at my next foster home–a three-bedroom layout where three biological children and four foster kids lived and where they locked every door, even the refrigerator–I made good on my threats and ran.
That time, the police caught me after a little over two days.
The next time I ran, I lasted a couple of weeks.
The time after that, I stayed away for almost a month.
That cycle continued until my eighteenth birthday, when my “loving foster family” kicked my ass out because the state was about to stop the support checks.
And that began my cycle of homelessness, hunger, and helplessness, which started me on my path to prison.
But now luck had opened a new path for me, one I never expected, and I was nervous about taking the first steps down it because I didn’t want to leave the comfort of the home I had in Rojo.
“Come in and talk to me. It makes me crazy when people hover,” my friend Lark called from inside her office. “What’s going on, Starla? Is everything okay?”
“I’ve had a job offer, and I don’t know what to do.”
“If it’s that hard to decide, then maybe you shouldn’t consider it,” Lark said helpfully.
“I want to take it for more than a few reasons, the least of which is how much work I’ll be taking on.”
“Then accept the job.”
“But I’m afraid to leave Rojo. Things have been wonderful here, and I’ve made so many friends!”
“If they’re true friends, then they’ll stay that way no matter how far away you go, Starla. I’d like to think I’m one of those friends.”
“Of course you are!”
“You say that, but my guess is that you’ve never had a friend who is quite as much of a grumpy pain in the ass as I am.”
“I firmly believe the reason you and I get along so well is that you remind me of a woman I used to know and whom I loved to distraction.”
“She seems like a wonderful, if extremely cranky, woman.”
“How do you know?”
“I’ve talked to Ma a lot over the last few weeks.
She called to get a reference about your qualifications, your personality now that you’re all grown up, and things like that.
At first, I was hesitant to tell her anything, but then she explained how she’d met you and what she wanted to offer you, and I caved. ”
“You’ve been talking to Ma regularly?” I asked.
“Not regularly, but now and then. She called this morning, actually. She told me that you were still wavering and I needed to–her words–‘get my lazy ass up and push you in the right direction.’”
“That sounds like something she’d say.”
“Well, this is me getting off my lazy ass and telling you that this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that you’ll regret passing up, if that’s what you decide to do.
And my lazy ass would also like to remind you that no matter where you go or how long you’re gone, you’ll always have a place back here at the castle with me and the rest of the girls.
I know Zoey will feel the same way about having you come back to The Flower Patch because she loves you just as much as I do. ”
“What if it’s nothing like I remember?”
“What if it’s better than you remember?” Lark snapped. “Pull up your big girl panties and get your shit together, Starla! It’s obvious this woman adores you and wants you to become a permanent part of her family, so grab the hand she’s holding out and don’t let it go.”
I took a deep breath and then let it out. “I guess this is me putting in my official notice.”
“There’s no need, sweetheart. Ma and I knew you were going to make the right decision, so I’ve got your paperwork right here in front of me.”
“You’ve always reminded me a lot of Ma, Lark.”
“I take that as the kindest of compliments, and someday, when I come up to Kansas to visit you, I’ll tell her exactly that.”