6. Jules
JULES
“Please tell me you aren’t wearing that to the party.”
“What?” I looked down at my plaid flannel top and straight-leg jeans, and while it wasn’t exactly sexy, I thought I looked pretty good. “This is perfectly fine.”
“Yeah, if you’re trying to look like a lumberjack.” Caroline marched over to my closet, and after a few minutes of sifting through my clothes, she pulled out an old tank top. “This would look so hot on you. Wear your hair down with a little makeup, and you’re ready to go.”
“I’m not wearing that.” My throat tightened at the thought of anyone seeing my scars. “It’s too cold.”
“It’s a bonfire, Jules. You’ll be plenty warm.” She walked over to me and held the top up to my chest. “You gotta show off those assets, girl. You’ll have all the guys drooling over you.”
“I highly doubt that.”
“It’s true!” She playfully bumped her hip against mine. “You’re one hot momma.”
“Ha! No, I’m not! I’m the farthest thing from hot.”
“You’re crazy! You’re absolutely gorgeous.” She sounded so sincere as she said, “How can you not know that?”
“I guess you can say it’s been ingrained in me.”
“Well, that’s just ridiculous. You’re smoking hot.” She smiled as she held up the tank top and said, “You’d know that if you’d just take a little risk now and then.”
“I can’t wear that top, Caroline. I won’t.”
“But why?”
I don’t know what came over me, but I started unbuttoning my flannel. Once I got midway down, I slipped it down over my shoulder, revealing the ridged scars on my back. As soon as she saw them, Caroline gasped, “Oh, my God, Jules. What happened?”
“My father happened.” I pulled my shirt up as I told her, “He wasn’t exactly a good man.”
“He did that to you?”
“Yeah, I’m afraid so.” I’d already told her some of the horror stories about James and how I’d moved here to get away from him. I hadn’t planned on ever telling her about my father, but that didn’t stop me from saying, “He had a bit of a temper and liked to take it out on my mother and me.”
“Oh, girl. I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”
“Nothing for you to be sorry about. There’s no way you could’ve known.”
“Well, I feel terrible. I wish you would’ve told me sooner.” She walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed. “Did it happen often?”
“It happened enough.” I don’t know what it was about Caroline, but I felt like I could open up to her without judgment or ridicule—something I desperately needed.
I hadn’t shared my past with anyone, and it felt good to tell her, “But over time, I learned to take myself out of the moment. I’d dream of the day I’d be able to get away from him, and I’d finally be free. ”
“When did you get away?”
“I was almost fifteen.” My stomach turned as I told her, “I left right after the night he left these scars.”
“Oh, God. What happened?”
“He was pissed that I’d left my makeup on the bathroom sink.
It was something I’d done a million times, but on this night, it set him off.
He got so mad so fast.” My blood ran cold when I thought about the rage in his eyes.
I knew something bad was coming, but I had no idea how bad.
“For whatever reason, he decided to trade his leather belt for an extension cord which wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t wearing my pajamas.
The fabric was thin, and it went on for over an hour. ”
“Oh, Jules. I can’t imagine how terrible that must’ve been.”
“It was pretty bad. My mother completely freaked out when she saw what he’d done. She hated to see me go but knew if I stayed, he’d just hurt me again. So, she helped me pack up my things, and I moved in with my grandmother.”
“Thank goodness!”
“Yeah, things were much better there.” I could still remember how good it felt to be out of my parents’ house and away from my father.
For the first time in my life, I felt safe and loved—sadly, it didn’t last. I considered telling her about James, but now was not the time.
She was eager to get to the party, so I told her, “Now, enough of the dad talk. We have a party to get ready for.”
“Yes, we most certainly do.”
“Would you help me with my hair and makeup?”
“Are you kidding?” Her eyes lit up as she hopped up from the bed and said, “I’d love to!”
“Great.” I grabbed my hairbrush from my dresser, then offered it to her. “Just don’t go crazy.”
“Me? Never.”
Caroline ushered me over to the mirror and started working her magic with my hair and makeup.
I’d never really had a girlfriend to hang out with or talk to, so it felt nice to have this moment with her—especially when she was done with my makeover and I saw how great I looked.
I was feeling pretty good when we left my place and headed over to the Satan’s Fury clubhouse.
It felt good to have my car back. When it broke down, I was terrified that I wouldn’t be able to afford to get it fixed, but thankfully, Smokey and his brothers were able to fix the hose without it costing a fortune.
In fact, it didn’t cost me a thing. Smokey said he had it covered and refused to let me pay him anything for it.
I don’t know how I managed to get so lucky, but I would be forever grateful for his kindness.
“Holy shit!” Caroline gasped with excitement as we pulled through the gate and into the crowded parking lot. “This place is packed.”
“Yeah, I see that.”
Panic washed over me when I thought about being around so many people I didn’t know. Over the past year or so, I hadn’t had to face many large crowds, just those from work, and I had Caroline and Katie to help out whenever I became overwhelmed. This was altogether different.
This was a party.
In the dark.
With men who were drinking.
I had no idea what I was thinking when I agreed to come to this party. I was thinking of a way I could back out when Caroline started waving her hands frantically. “There’s a spot! You see it? It’s right over by the black truck.”
“Yeah, I see it.”
As soon as I’d pulled in and parked, Caroline opened her door and said, “Get ready, boys! Here we come!”
Caroline bent over and gave her hair a quick shake, then sprang up and started walking toward the front door.
I was feeling apprehensive as I gave myself a quick check in the rearview window.
Once again, I considered making up an excuse to leave, but inevitably decided I couldn’t let Caroline down.
With a cleansing breath, I forced myself out of the car and rushed to catch up with Caroline. “Hey! Hold up!”
“Hurry up, slowpoke.” She turned to me and smiled. “We have hot guys to check out.”
“Do you think your guy will be here?”
“I certainly hope so.” She waved her hand over her V-neck sweater that showed off her cleavage and her slim-fit jeans that hugged her perfect figure as she said, “I’d hate for him to miss out on all this.”
“Yeah, that would be a travesty.”
“Wouldn’t it, though?”
We both giggled as we continued walking toward the crowd.
We hadn’t gotten far when I spotted Q and several of his brothers over by the fire.
He looked good in his dark jeans with a black t-shirt and his leather jacket—really good.
I stared at him for a moment and felt an unusual twinge in the pit of my stomach when I saw that he and his friends were talking to a group of beautiful women.
I shouldn’t have cared that he was sharing a moment with those other women. I’d already made it clear to him that I wasn’t interested, but the twinge was still there. And it grew even stronger when Caroline pointed at him and said, “There he is.”
“That’s the guy?”
“Oh, yeah. That’s him.” I was still watching him interact with those other women when he turned and glanced over in our direction.
Butterflies erupted in my stomach when his eyes found mine.
Normally, I would’ve looked away or run for the hills, but this time, I didn’t.
This time, I stayed put and kept my eyes trained on his.
He held my gaze for several moments, then he lifted his beer and gave us a quick chin lift.
When he turned his attention back to his friends, Caroline leaned over to me and purred, “Oh, my. Isn’t he divine? ”
“Yeah, he’s okay.”
“He’s more than okay, Jules,” she argued. “The man is absolutely scrumptious. We’ve gotta get over there and say hi.”
“What? Now?”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know.” I motioned my head over at the women he was talking to as I told her, “He looks kind of occupied at the moment.”
“Occupied? Pfft. I don’t care about those crotch-sniffers.” She gave me a nonchalant shrug. “Besides, it’s not like I’m going to go over there and pounce him. I’m just going to say hi.”
“Hmm. Okay. Do what you gotta do.” I took a quick look around, and when I spotted MJ at the cooler, I turned back to Caroline and said, “I’m gonna go grab a drink.”
“Wait. You aren’t going to go with me?”
“Um, no. You’re on your own with this one.”
“But this is your chance to cut loose and live a little.”
“It’s not gonna happen, Caroline, so just let it go.”
“Okay, fine.” She rolled her eyes with a pout. “But don’t come crying to me later tonight when you end up going home alone.”
“There will be no tears from me. I promise you that.”
“We’ll see.”
Unable to force myself to move, I stood there and watched as Caroline sashayed over to Q and started talking to him.
I couldn’t help but notice how Q’s eyes lit up when she placed her hand on his arm and started talking to him like he was the greatest thing since sliced bread.
They continued to banter back and forth, and it was clear from their flirty smiles and body language they were really hitting it off.
As I stood there watching them together, I could feel myself shutting down.
I tried to tell myself that I was the one who’d let it happen and that I could change things if I really wanted to, but the walls still went up.
I could feel them closing in on me when Hayes came up beside me and offered me a beer.
“You look like you could use one of these.”