LONDYN
I’d imagined this moment a million times over the past five years, but in my mind, it was just a fantasy. I never thought it would really happen, so I hadn’t really considered how I would handle it if Malcomb came back into the picture.
I was both angry and hurt that he’d listened to my father and turned me away without really talking to me, and the fact that he hadn’t answered my calls or read my letters only added fuel to the fire.
But I wasn’t exactly innocent in all this.
We’d each shared our own guilt, and fighting over who was more right or wrong wasn’t going to solve anything. I had to make a choice.
Hold onto the anger and hurt, or let it go and have the life I’d always wanted.
But it wasn’t just about me.
I had Dalton to consider, and that made choice a bit more complicated.
I had no way of knowing whether Malcomb would come back into our lives, so I’d always tried to be vague when he asked about his father.
I had no idea what I was going to tell him now.
Whatever I told him, it was going to be tough to make him understand.
I realized Malcomb was having the same concern when he asked, “What have you told him about me?”
“Not a lot,” I whispered.
He stood and made his way back over to me as he whispered, “What’s not a lot?”
“I told him that you were away, and I hadn’t had a chance to tell you about him...
I told him that he was a lot like you, handsome and funny, and that you two had the same smile.
I told him that you had a kind heart and were a fierce protector.
I told him a little about the club and that you rode—which he was very intrigued about.
And I told him you would be here if you could. ”
Malcomb nodded, and I could see the pain in his eyes as he whispered, “Thank you for not telling him anything bad about me. You had every right to.”
“I would never do that. It wouldn’t be fair to him or to you... I would’ve told him more, but I didn’t want to make any promises that I couldn’t keep.”
“I get it,” Malcomb said, his voice filled with regret. “I just hope that he can forgive me for not being here.”
“He will... He’ll just need a little time.”
Malcomb nodded, and we both fell into an uncomfortable silence as we made our way back into the living room.
We sat down on the sofa, nervously glancing around the room.
I could feel the tension in the air, and I knew exactly why it was there.
We had so much that needed to be said, but I had no idea where to start.
After several moments, I finally said, “He was eight pounds six ounces and twenty-one inches long when he was born, and he was the sweetest baby I’ve ever seen.
He hardly ever cried... He loved his swing and bouncy seat, but he seemed happiest when I was holding him—which was one of the reasons it was so hard to keep up with my classes.
I felt guilty leaving him, and I felt guilty when I wasn’t in class.
So, I dropped out and started school here. ”
He didn’t respond.
He just sat there listening as I went on to say, “He was crawling at nine months and walking just before his first birthday. He’s crazy about playing ball and loves animals. I’ve even considered getting him a puppy, but I just couldn’t afford it, which is probably for the best.”
Again, he didn’t respond.
I got the impression that he wanted to hear anything I was willing to tell him about Dalton, so I continued, “He graduated from preschool a couple of weeks ago. His teachers adored him and hated to see him go. I wish you could’ve seen him in his little outfit.
He looked so precious... Wait. I’ve got one on my phone. ”
I grabbed my phone and pulled up the image, then showed it to Malcomb. He studied it for a moment, then nodded. “Good looking kid.”
“Yeah, he is.” I smiled and turned off my phone. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t go on and on like that.”
“No, no. I want to hear it. I want to hear everything.” I could hear the anguish in his voice as he said, “I want to know everything there is to know about you both.”
“I’ll tell you whatever you want to know... Mind if I ask you something first?”
“You can ask me anything.”
Nervous to hear his response, I swallowed and looked to the ground. “Was Dad the only reason you broke things off with me?”
“Yes and no.” He looked utterly defeated as he admitted, “There was a lot of truth to what your father said. You had a lot going for you, Londyn. You were way too good for the likes of me, and it wasn’t fair for me to hold you back.”
“You never held me back, Malcomb. If anything, you pushed me to be better.” My voice trembled as I told him, “I was so shy and withdrawn when we first started talking. You gave me the courage to step out and try new things. I’m who I am because of you.”
“You would’ve found your way with or without me... Hell, look at this place. You made a home for a kid, and you did it on your own.”
“No, I had a lot of help along the way.”
“Maybe, but on the day to day, it was you.”
“You’re sweet to say that.”
“I mean it, Londyn.” Regret laced his words as he muttered, “I never stopped loving you, Londyn. Never once. Day in and day out, you were always on my mind. Had I known...”
“I know,” I assured him. “But you’re here now, and that’s what matters.”
We spent the next hour or so talking and looking at old photographs, and it was nice catching up with him—so nice that I hadn’t noticed the time. I also hadn’t noticed that we weren’t alone until I heard him ask, “Do you tell funny joy-kes?”
Malcomb and I both whipped around and gasped at the sight of Dalton standing in the doorway. Malcomb glanced over at me, then immediately back to Dalton as he answered, “Now and then.”
“You ride motorcycles?”
“Yeah, I’ve got a motorcycle.”
“Do you like pancakes?”
“Yeah.” Malcomb smiled. “I like them just fine.”
Dalton studied him for a moment, then turned to me with a soul-searching stare. He knew. I could see it in his eyes. He let out a breath, then muttered, “It’s him.”
"Yes, sweetie. It's him." I walked over and knelt in front of him as I said, "Malcomb is your father."
He had been waiting for this moment for years, and now that it had finally arrived, he was at a loss for words. We all were. I took Dalton by the hand and led him over to the sofa. Once we were seated, I looked down at Dalton and said, "Dalton, this is Malcomb."
"You're back."
Following along with the story I’d told him, Malcomb nodded and said, "Yeah, I'm back, and I'd really like to spend some time with you and your mom. If that's okay with you."
Dalton looked up at me with that same soul-searching stare, and I nodded. "I'd like that. What about you?"
I could see the flood of emotions flowing through him. Part of him was overjoyed to finally meet his father, but another part was scared and unsure of what this would mean for his life. I reached out and took his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze to let him know that everything would be okay.
After a moment, Dalton finally answered, "Okay."
“Okay, great,” Malcomb replied, sounding relieved. “So, what do you guys wanna do?”
“I’m open for anything.” I stood and started for the kitchen. “I just need some coffee first.”
“You and me both.”
“On it.”
I slipped into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. While it brewed, I slipped over to the doorway, and my heart swelled as I watched Dalton go over to his toy box and start pulling out his blocks. His voice was riddled with excitement as he suggested, “We could build some’ting.”
“Oh? Like what?”
“A castle... A really tall one!”
“Yeah, we could definitely do that.”
I was a bit surprised at how freely Dalton spoke. He was normally very standoffish with strangers, but their banter came so easily—like they weren’t strangers at all. It felt so good to see them together. It was something I thought I’d never see.
I smiled as I watched them start to build their little castle.
Malcomb’s eyes twinkled with a mixture of pride and absolute adoration as he helped Dalton stack the blocks into a wobbly tower.
He was so good—so calm and patient. He lowered himself down to Dalton’s level and spoke to him like he was an adult, not just a toddler speaking baby talk.
They both erupted into laughter when the blocks fell down.
I thought that would be the end of their tower building, but they weren’t ready to give up and started all over again.
I couldn't help but smile as Dalton encouraged Malcomb to keep a steady hand.
It was a heart-warming moment—one that gave me hope.
I knew it was early, and we had many obstacles to overcome, but I liked the idea of thinking our family could be whole again.
When the coffee was ready, I poured two cups and then carried them into the living room.
I placed one on the table next to Malcomb as I announced, “If it’s okay, I’m going to take a quick shower and change. ”
“Sure. We’re good.”
“I won’t be long.”
“Take your time,” Malcomb answered as he placed the next block on the tower.
I would’ve double-checked with Dalton to make sure he was okay with me leaving, but he was too busy with his blocks to care if I was there or not.
I wasn’t sure how long the moment would last, so I carried my coffee to the bathroom and took a quick shower.
As soon as I was done, I slipped on one of my more casual short summer dresses, then fixed my hair and makeup.
When I made it back to the living room, Dalton had changed out of his pjs and into a pair of his favorite shorts.
His eyes sparkled with excitement as he announced, “We’re going to the park.”
“If that’s okay with you,” Malcomb added. “Dalton said there was one close by.”
“There is... It’s just around the corner.” I turned and started for the kitchen as I told him, “Just let me grab a few things, and we can go.”