Chapter 15 Kira
KIRA
Idon’t think I’ve ever been this nervous before in my life.
Nothing could ever prepare me for this. Not long hours grinding my ass to dust. Not slinging coffee or shampooing slobbering dogs. This has to be the hardest thing I’ll ever do.
Except for the next hardest thing, but I’m taking this one step at a time.
Gem’s in her room studying. I toss down a glass of wine to help fortify myself, which isn’t exactly healthy, but I’m way past worrying about that. I knock on her door and let myself in when she calls out.
“What’s up?” she says, taking off her headphones. She’s lounging in her bed with two open textbooks and a highlighter tapping against her teeth.
“Can we talk?” I linger in the doorway. “It’s kind of serious.”
“Is everything okay?” She snaps the books shut. “Is this about money? I keep telling you, I can get a job. Seriously, the applications are all done. I can quit some after-school stuff—”
“It’s not about money.” Although it kind of is. “It’s actually about me. I sort of… met someone.”
Gem looks taken aback. “Like, you met a man?”
“Why do you sound so surprised? I’m still young, you know.”
“No, I mean, I just, you’ve never shown any interest in dating before. When did you have time to meet someone?”
“It happened at the diner.” I hesitate before throwing myself over toward her desk. I collapse into her chair with a groan. “This is really awkward.”
“You just have a boyfriend. That’s actually really awesome, right? What’s he like?”
Terrifying. Vicious. Hot as sin. Kind of an asshole. Weirdly obsessed with me.
“His name is Stellan,” I say, skipping right over his description. “And I know what you’re going to say. I just need you to know that I thought a lot about this.”
“About… what? Dating? Kira, seriously, you’re not my mother. You’re my big sister. I know you forget that sometimes, but I don’t. You’re allowed to have a life. Honestly, you really need to get out more.”
“You’re starting to sound like Mina.”
“She gets it then!”
“Please, just hold on.” I raise a hand to keep her from getting on a roll.
“I seriously don’t know how to say this without sounding insane, so I’m just going to tell you straight.
” I take a deep breath. I feel like I might throw up.
My heart’s going wild and I’m sweating. I bet I smell like a dying fish. “I’m getting married.”
Gem makes a face like I just told her I’m super into eating garbage. She opens her mouth like she’s trying to formulate words, but nothing happens. I give her a second before she finally laughs awkwardly. “I hope this is some weird prank?”
“It’s not.” My shoulders slump. This is going horribly wrong. “I know it’s fast. Trust me, I’m aware. But Stellan’s—” I want to say good man but I’m trying really hard not to lie to my sister. “He’s going to take care of us.”
“Are you whoring yourself out to him?” she whispers, eyes going wide. “Is this a trafficking thing? I know places we can call. We had an assembly on this—”
“No!” I say a little too forcefully. I’m pretty sure that only makes Gem more suspicious. “No, no, it’s not like that. It’s more like—” I wave a hand in the air as if I’m going to collect spiderweb strands. “It’s more like a green card marriage.”
Gem’s frown deepens. “He’s a foreigner?”
“Not exactly. Something like that. But I also like him and he likes me. We’re doing this because it makes sense for everyone. And I know it’s crazy, but I promise, it’s good. It’s going to be good.”
She tilts her head side to side. “Obviously, I think this is really right.”
“Totally. I know. Me too.”
She clears her throat. “This is the guy who’s paying for my car service, right?”
“Yep, that’s him.”
“And… he’s the guy who owns the building.”
My stomach twists in surprise. “How’d you know that?”
“I saw the way you were looking at each other.” She takes a slow, measured breath and nods to herself. “Okay, so you’ve been seeing each other secretly for a while.”
“Yes,” I say, drawing it out, because that’s not strictly true, but it also sort of is.
“And now you’re marrying for some weird reason you’re being really shady about.”
“That sums it up.”
“But do you honestly like him? I mean, you’re in an actual relationship?”
I pause and think. I don’t want to lie. But I also don’t want her to think I’m making a bad decision, even if I definitely am.
“We’re in a relationship. My feelings for him are complicated.”
She chews her lip, looking very worried. “You’re okay though? Seriously, if you’re in a bad position, we can fix it. I’m here for you.”
I get up and move over to the bed. I take her hand in mine and hold it tightly. “I’m good. Honestly. We’re going to be good. You just have to trust me. I’ve done a lot to keep us above water since Mom ran off, right?”
“Too much. You know how bad I feel about it.”
“You don’t have to feel bad. You just have to keep trusting that I’m doing what’s best for both of us. Okay?”
She takes a deep breath. It’s obvious she’s still not convinced, but she finally nods. “I trust you. And I love you.”
“I love you too, little Gemmy.” I pull her in for a hug and hold her tight.
I have to keep reminding myself that I’m doing this for her.
All of this is for her. My smart, amazing, genius little sister.
She’s going to be something. I can chain myself to a terrifying mobster if that means her future’s even slightly brighter.
When Gem pulls back, she’s grinning.
“What?” I ask, stomach sinking.
“He’s really hot.” Her grin gets bigger. “Like, really, really hot.”
“Stop. Gross. Please. I don’t want to hear that my little sister is attracted to my future husband.”
“Hard not to be. You’ve seen the guy.”
She makes a very good point. I push her away and she cackles evilly.
“Please don’t ever say that again, okay?”
“Promise I won’t. Honestly, this is really weird and I’m worried, but I can trust you.”
“That means a lot.”
“But if that guy becomes a problem—” She slowly pulls her thumb across her throat. “I’ll whack him.”
I laugh lightly and plaster a smile on my face. “I bet you will.”
“Can I meet him? Before you guys move forward?”
“Absolutely, yes.”
“Let’s have him over for dinner!”
“I mean—”
“Oh, it’ll be great. I’ll cook!”
“I don’t—”
“Tell him to clear his schedule on Saturday night.”
I tug at my hair nervously. “I’ll see what I can do.”
“Wonderful. Can’t wait.” She picks up her books again. “Now, I have a nasty calc test tomorrow.”
“You still have tests?”
“Shocking, I know.”
I leave her room, feeling like my stomach’s sinking into my toes. I shoot Stellan a quick text. Dinner at my place Saturday?
And he responds immediately: I’ll see you then, wife.
I don’t love that last word, not one bit.
“Dinner smells amazing,” I say, hovering around the counter as Gem confidently pokes at a pot with a wooden spoon. “Since when did you learn to cook?”
“Since I watched a video on YouTube.”
“Seriously? One video?” I shouldn’t be surprised. I’ve never met someone who can learn as fast as Gem.
“Let’s call it two if that helps you feel better. Relax, it’ll be fine. When’s Stellan coming?”
“Soon.” I glance at the clock. He’s expected in about ten minutes. “Can I do anything?”
“Chop lettuce for a salad. And I’m only letting you because your nerves are driving me crazy.”
“Oh, god, thank you.” I grab a knife and get to work.
I’m not good when I’m nervous. Keeping my hands busy makes me feel better, and it’s nice that Gem knows that about me.
She’s humming to herself as she puts together this beautiful potatoes and chicken thighs dish simmered in a rosemary sauce with lots of wine and vinegar.
With anyone else, I might be skeptical, but Gem’s more than capable of learning how to cook in a single afternoon.
On some level, I know this is going to be fine. Gem’s an easy person to get along with. She generally likes everyone she meets and I’ve never seen her struggle to hold a conversation. My sister’s funny, happy, and outgoing.
Basically, everything I’m not.
My only concern is what she’s going to think about Stellan.
He’s not a Saturday-dinner-at-home kind of guy.
I can’t even imagine him sitting at my table like a regular person.
He belongs in seedy diners, upscale restaurants, and private nightclub booths.
There’s a strange, dark aura around him, an aggressive and terrifying masculinity.
I’m not sure what Gem’s going to think about it.
But she’s right about one thing. He’s beautiful. Gorgeous, really. It’s scary how my attraction to him has only grown since we slept together.
Maybe that’s because now I know what I’m missing.
And I want it back again.
“You’re going to slice your finger off if you don’t pay attention,” Gem chides, yanking me back to my task.
I grin sheepishly. “I probably should’ve watched those videos too.”
She puts a hand on my arm. It’s warming and comforting. “I promise I’m going to give him a fair shot, okay? This situation is weird, but I’m doing my best to go with it.”
“You’re a good sister.”
“Half as good as you, maybe.”
“True. No arguments here.”
She laughs and I grin back at her. Then we get back to work. I feel better by the time there’s a knock at the door and I find Stellan wearing his customary expensive suit with a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a box of cheesecake in the other.
“I couldn’t come empty-handed,” he says softly, stooping down to kiss my cheek. I let him even though it sends tingles down my spine. “Smells amazing in here.”
“Thanks for coming. I know this isn’t your scene, but—”
He places the box of dessert down on the table and puts his hand on my lower back. “Your life is my life now too.”
“That’s not as comforting as you might think.” I steer him into the kitchen and force myself to make the introductions. Gem shakes his hand, beaming at the flowers, and he compliments her cooking.