Chapter 24 Kira
KIRA
The row home is a few blocks from my old apartment, which I find kind of ironic. All this time, I’ve been living not too far from a man who used to know my father and could have told me everything I needed to know.
I’m tempted to turn back. This is a very bad idea. After Stellan’s ascension, he hasn’t been around much, and I still have a million questions. I get the feeling my husband isn’t going to be that helpful.
Which means I need someone else.
I’m nervous as I knock on the door. I know there’s a driver and an armed guard waiting in the street nearby, and they won’t let anything happen to me.
I’m the Don’s wife now, as Stellan reminded me that night in the graveyard.
I swear I can still feel him pulsing between my legs.
I’ve never felt a man come like that before.
It was like he flooded into me and hasn’t left since.
“Yes, hello, what can I—” Saverino stops midsentence and stares at me in surprise. “Kira Corsetti? Did Stellan send you?”
“Hello, Saverino. He actually doesn’t know that I’m here.”
Saverino looks past me to the street and glances both ways. “Really, Kira, how did you even get my address?”
“I found it in his email. Don’t ask me how I checked it.” That would be Gem’s doing. She found his password written on a Post-It note. My genius sister didn’t even bother questioning why I was snooping on my own husband.
“Well then, come inside, come inside. What can I do for you?”
Saverino’s home is a warm and nice place. It’s not overly expensive, but the furniture is all good quality, and it’s impeccably neat. Photos of his family hang on the walls. Two sons, two daughters, and they all look just like him.
“I was hoping I could ask you some questions about my father.”
Saverino’s shoulders tense, but he leads me into the kitchen and sits me down at the table. A woman around his age looks at me with surprise and delight. She comes over and introduces herself as Julia, and I put it together that she’s Saverino’s wife.
“How about something to eat?” she asks. “You just married Stellan, didn’t you? I swear, that man isn’t feeding you at all. I’ll make tea and we have some leftover pizza my son made if you like, or I have some cheese, crackers, some decent salami—”
“No, honestly, I’m fine.”
Saverino beams at his wife and kisses her cheek. “This one’s about business, dear.”
“Business.” She scowls. “It’s always business with these men. Don’t tell me you’re getting infected by them too?”
“Just for today.”
“Ah, well, I’m still putting on tea. Deal with it, Sav.”
“As if I could stop you, darling.”
I watch the two of them bicker happily. She serves me black tea with a little milk and honey before retreating into another room. Saverino sits across from me, adjusts his button-down shirt, and leans back in his chair. His smiling, happy face fades away.
“I liked your father very much. I just want to be clear about that. Bryan was a good man.”
“What happened? I mean, Stellan told me the basics, about the book, but—” I awkwardly hold my tea in both hands. “I feel like I never knew him.”
“Does anyone know their parents when they’re young? To children, our parents are a mystery. They just are. Not people, but something bigger.”
“My father felt like that. He was good to me.”
“That’s not a surprise, considering how he treated your mother.” He smiles again fondly. “Poor Bryan. He had a soft spot for that woman. How is she doing, anyway?”
“I don’t know. She ran off a couple years back. I think she’s living in Florida with her boyfriend, last I heard.”
“That’s not a surprise. Honestly, I thought she’d be dead by now.”
“We all did.”
“You want to know why your father betrayed everything he believed?” Saverino looks away, glancing up toward the ceiling with a fond smile. “He would’ve said it was for love.”
I lean back, frowning. “For love?”
“For your mother,” he clarifies and looks at me again. “Sorry, I’m being dramatic. I’m an old man. It happens.”
“Why my mother?”
He fiddles with a pen, idly clicking it open and closed.“He was a complicated man who married a complicated woman. At least, that’s how it seemed at first, but then it became simple. Your mother’s an addict and he was hopelessly in love with her, while she only cared about her drugs.”
“Sounds about right. Even when Mom was here, she didn’t do much but make our lives harder.”
“He held it all together the best he could, but addicts aren’t known for their self-control. She began to spiral. From what I understand, she racked up some serious debt to some very dangerous people. I’m talking the sort of debt that not even your father could easily claw his way out of.”
A chill runs over my skin. “That’s why he did it?”
“That’s what he said after he got caught.
I’ll never forget that night, out in one of our old warehouses, your father beaten to hell but not angry.
He spilled his guts. Told us everything, start to finish.
Broke my damn heart, hearing him say it all, how such a proud and strong man could end up so low for a woman like your mother.
” Saverino shakes his head slowly. “I’m sorry, Kira.
I really am. Like I said, I respected and liked your father very much. ”
I drink some tea and swallow it against the tears. Some run down my cheeks anyway. “You killed him?”
“Not me. But I was there, and I voted with everyone else. He wasn’t upset when we told him what had to happen. He faced his end with dignity and strength. Nobody wanted to do it. There was no anger in his final moments. Only men doing what they had to.”
“Nobody had to kill him.” My voice comes out as a hoarse whisper. “You left me with her. Me and my sister.”
“I know.” He sounds genuinely regretful. “We didn’t do right by you, mostly because your father’s betrayal ran too deep. We couldn’t be seen helping his family. Not after the stain of what he did. But Stellan never forgot about you.”
I lean back in surprise. “Stellan? Wasn’t he young when it happened?”
“Eighteen years old. Your father was his mentor, and his betrayal broke Stellan’s heart.
He took it very poorly for a while. But after a year or two, he started checking in on you and your sister.
I think he felt bad, leaving you two alone with your mother, and I think he missed your father.
Maybe seeing you was his way of being close to his mentor again.
” Saverino shrugs and clicks the pen again.
“I’m sorry if this hurts. It was all a long time ago. ”
“Not that long. Not to me anyway.” I feel dizzy and sick. My father stole that book to pay off my mother’s debts. She’s the reason he got killed. It’s her fault that he’s dead. All this time, she must’ve known the truth, but she never said a word about it.
“You can blame me if you like. Blame the other old-timers too if it helps. But not Stellan. He had nothing to do with our decision.”
“I know that.” I hunch forward, breathing deep to steady myself. “Did he really check up on me?”
“Oh, absolutely. I told him to let it go more than a few times over the years, but he was steadfast. I thought you knew?”
I shake my head. “From my perspective, we just met.”
“Ah, I guess I’m not surprised. Stellan’s not easy to know.”
I ask him a few more questions about my father. He tells me a couple of stories from my old man’s glory days, but my heart isn’t in it anymore. I finish my tea, thank him, and let him walk me to the door.
“Stop by whenever you like,” he says on the threshold. “But you’ll have to accept my wife’s food next time.”
“Tell her I’ll come for dinner.”
He laughs, grinning big. “She’d love that! And if you weren’t married, she’d try to pawn you off on one of my boys.”
“Oh, yeah? What about you?”
“I’d steer you away. You’re too nice for them. See you again soon, Mrs. Corsetti.” He waves, and I head down the stoop, hands shoved in my pockets.
The driver’s waiting. He holds the door as I climb into the back. A guard’s sitting up front with him, and they must notice my mood. Neither of them says anything as we pull into traffic.
Memories of my father swirl. He was always working, but whenever he was home, he was intensely present. He was funny, engaging, charming, and even seemed to make my mother a better person. Or at least that’s how it felt to me when I was young.
But now I know my mother’s poison got him killed.
He betrayed his own Famiglia for her. Saverino says he did it for love, but I think he did it because she’s a disease. She infected him and ruined him the way she infects and ruins everything around her. I’m happy she’s not here, because if she were, I think I’d kill her myself.
Then there’s Stellan and the way he’s been checking up on me. I didn’t ask for details, because I was so upset about my mother, but now I wish I had. What does it mean, he was checking in on me? And how long was he doing it?
I’m lost in thoughts and memories when the guard up front curses softly. They start talking in rapid Italian, the driver glancing in the rearview, before the guard turns to look at me sternly. “Make sure you’re buckled, ma’am.”
“Sorry, what?” I tug on my seatbelt. “Is something wrong?”
“We’re being followed.”
The driver slams on the gas suddenly. I yelp in surprise as he blows through a yellow light and swings down a side street.
We drive fast, recklessly fast, ripping across several stop signs.
I grip the door and put a hand over my mouth to keep myself from screaming as he takes another wild turn, tires screaming, and abruptly slows to a more reasonable pace.
I look out the back window. My heart’s racing through my throat. Both men seem totally calm, and they’re talking very quietly. I can’t hear anything over the pounding in my ears.
“Seems that we lost them, ma’am.” The guard offers me a thin smile. “Sorry to disturb you, but we’ll have you home shortly.”
“I’m sorry, but who was following us?”
“I can’t say, ma’am.”
He stops talking there, and I feel sick.
I’m not even sure what the hell happened when I’m dropped off back at the house. Stellan’s gone, or else I’d tell him immediately. Instead, I hurry up the steps, afraid of what I’ll find when I poke my head into Gem’s room.
She’s sitting at her desk, a bunch of books open around her. She doesn’t even notice that I’m there. She’s scribbling in a notebook and chewing on an old eraser, her hair down and curly, fuzzy slippers on her feet.
And all at once, I manage to calm down.
This is the reason I’m here. Gem’s my guiding light. I don’t know who was following us, but it doesn’t matter.
I have to keep going.
And I have to carry it all myself.
Gem doesn’t need to know about our father. She sure as hell doesn’t need to hear about our mother’s role in his death. She’d only lose her shit, and she can’t afford the distraction right now.
I’ll tell her when she’s safely off to college.
Ideally after I’ve already murdered our mother.
I slip back into the hallway. The house feels oppressively small, even if it’s the biggest place I’ve ever lived. The walls are tight, and every step is like I’m stomping over nails.
My secrets are going to crush me. But I have to bear them a while longer still.