Chapter 20
Tori woke up feeling even worse than she had when she fell asleep. She had eaten too much popcorn and her eyes felt raw. She was so tired of crying all the time. Crying over Sam, crying over Les, crying because she was lonely.
But it wasn’t like Sam had died on purpose, and maybe Les was just as much of a jerk as Lucas, only he hid it better behind a facade of a handsome face and sexy… he had the most beautiful hands with long fingers that really knew their way around a cheesecake and when he touched her… she could clearly picture the way his lashes, unfairly thick, dark, and long looked against his cheeks… sigh, everything about Les was wonderful except this, this stupid misunderstanding.
Distracted by Les, she no longer wanted to think about the people who had pretended to be her friends. They were not worth her time, or her tears. She was allowed to feel sorry for herself without invoking their names.
She threw the covers off, and they slid to the floor. She harrumphed. She was just going to have to make the bed anyway. With a groan, Tori followed the blankets off the bed. She landed on her feet and wobbled. She felt hungover, even though she hadn’t sucked down her standard pint of ice cream blended with vodka.
After hauling her duvet cover back onto the bed, she grabbed her phone. She didn’t expect there to be any messages from Les, but she apparently held her breath until she put in her code and could check. She blew out all the air in her lungs. Nothing.
She called the hotel.
“Is Chef in, please?”
“Which one?” The person at the other end of the line must be new, there was only one Chef. “The kitchen is full of people.”
“Just transfer me to the kitchen please.”
Hold music filled the space between Tori’s request and someone answering the other end.
“Kitchen, what do you want?” Crap, it was Lucas. He wouldn’t have the social graces to ask who she was, would he?
“Is Chef in, please?” She heard muffled yelling. Lucas had probably pressed the receiver to his chest before bellowing that Chef had a call.
“He wants to know who you are.”
Damn it.
“Let him know it’s his rep from Peaz’n’Karrits Farms.” Her stomach clenched as she said the words. She really didn’t want him to start giving her a hard time.
This time, when he yelled, he did a crap job of covering the handset and she heard him. She didn’t hear Chef’s response, but she hears Lucas loud and clear.
“What do you mean, is it Tori? Have I been talking to that cow? Geez you need better taste in chicks. I swear?—”
“Stevens, enough!” She heard Chef’s bellow before there was a scrabbling noise, and then he was sharp and clear on the phone. “Tori, is that you? I thought Penny said she was taking over your deliveries again?”
“Yeah, it’s me. Sorry about that. I didn’t want to have to talk to Lucas. Um, I fibbed a bit when I called. I don’t work for Penny anymore.”
“No, I’m sorry to hear that. And then you had to deal with Stevens. I apologize for his bad attitude.”
You wouldn’t have to worry about his behavior if you fired him. But that thought stayed in her head. “I do my best to ignore him. I wanted to see if you heard from Les yet? Is he there?”
“I’m sorry, Tori, he hasn’t come in. I got a message that he called out again.”
That’s not what she wanted to hear. She was quiet for a long moment.
“Thanks for letting me know. Bye.” She hit the end call before Chef had a chance at saying anything. She knew whose words had real meaning, and his were low enough on that scale. If Chef meant anything he said, he would have fired Lucas long ago. Instead, Lucas was still in the kitchen, maybe Chef just liked having someone he could yell at all the time.
Crossing her legs, Tori got comfortable in the middle of the bed. Her thumbs hovered over the front of her phone. She needed to find out where in Sonoma Caro lived. Hopefully she would know how to find Les.
“Holy crap,” Tori said as she took in the front of Mission Run for the first time. It was huge. “Holy crap,” she said again as she parked her car in the circular drive and climbed out.
This was Caro’s house? It looked like it belonged in the pages of dream homes magazine, if there was such a thing. With a tiled roof and stuccoed walls, it was Mission style architecture on expensive steroids.
She climbed the stairs to the front doors. A long ramp zigzagged to the right and back. Someone here had a wheelchair.
The doors were heavy and rough wood with metal straps. It was all for design, and not anything structural. She glanced around, looking for a doorbell or a knocker, or something.
Finding the bell, she pressed it. She turned and looked at the patio lined with oversized terracotta planters.
“May I help you?”
A disembodied voice startled Tori, and she jumped before looking around for the source.
“Hi, yes, um, I’m looking for Caro,” Tori said as she continued to figure out where the camera was.
“No, thank you, we aren’t interested,” the voice said.
“Aren’t interested in what? I’m not here to sell anything. I was hoping Caro would be home. She knows me from ballroom dance lessons in St. Helena.”
“Would you stop fidgeting.” The voice was sharp and scolding. “And look at the camera?”
“Camera?” Tori spun around looking for anything that looked like a camera.
The door swung open, a tall blonde smiled at Tori. She leaned out of the door and pressed the doorbell. “I’ve got it Jinx. Thanks,” she said a little overly enthusiastically.
“Very well, it’s in your hands,” the voice said.
The blonde waved Tori inside. “Sorry about that. I thought I overheard you say you were looking for Caro? I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but I could hear you through the door.”
“Hi, yeah. My name is Tori. I was taking dance lessons with Caro in St. Helena. I’m trying to find a man named Les Hernandez, and Caro said she was his cousin,” Tori didn’t know who this gorgeous woman was, but if she needed to tell everyone her sob story before she found Les and got him to listen to her, she would.
“You’re looking for Les?”
“You know him?” Tori asked eagerly.
“Of course, this is his home. Well, one of them, he’s family.”
“You’re related to Les?”
The blonde smiled. “Through marriage. I’m Honey and my husband is Morgan,” Honey introduced herself, and announced who her husband was as if Tori would know who he was.
Tori shook her head. “I’m sorry, I don’t know who that is,” she admitted.
“Morgan is Caro’s brother, and Les’s cousin. I don’t know if Les is here or not. But we can go look for him,” Honey said.
“I didn’t know if he’d be here or not. I thought I’d just ask Caro. His cousin on his mother’s side, Miguel, said he might be here, but I… I…” Tori didn’t know what to say next without sounding like some desperate love sick puppy chasing after some man who clearly didn’t want her. But, damn it, she wanted a chance to explain. “I’m sorry, maybe I shouldn’t have come here, but… now that I’m about to say it out loud it sounds pitiful,” she admitted.
“You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to. Les’s family dynamic is a bit more twisted up than most. His aunt, his mother’s sister, is our head cook. She’s a part of this family by extension, but Les is family by blood too. Sometimes he comes and bakes in Connie’s kitchen. I think it’s a way to work out his frustrations and stress. Come on,” Honey said with a tilt of her head. She began walking into the house.
Tori tried not to openly gape at her surroundings. The entryway opened into an expansive living room full of rich looking furnishings. The house, no, the mansion, seemed to go on forever.
“You said you met Caro at a dance?” Honey asked.
“There’s this open floor ballroom dance they do once a week at the community center. I started going because hanging out in bars was getting old, and not much fun,” Tori answered.
“Ballroom dancing. That sounds like something Caro would do. So how did you, or was it her, make the connection that she and Les are cousins? How do you know Les?”
Tori sucked in a breath and held it. She was going to sound like a groupie, she just knew it.
“The farm I worked for?—”
“You work on a farm?” Honey stopped and gave Tori a once over. “You do not look like you work on a farm.”
Tori stomped down her immediate reaction. What did working on a farm look like? She opened her mouth to protest, but then snapped it shut when she realized she was going to say that she indeed worked on a farm. But she didn’t, not any longer.
“I did marketing, and deliveries,” Tori admitted. “I don’t work there anymore.”
Honey just nodded and started walking again. “You were saying?”
“I took care of the special orders and made deliveries to the hotel, where Les is the dessert chef. I mentioned the dance classes one day, and then he and his other cousins showed up.”
“Les dances?” Honey asked. “That’s a hidden talent. I had no idea. So, he was there when Caro showed up?”
“Right, and it’s a small class, and when you end up dancing with everyone,” Tori shrugged. “I didn’t know that Les might be here until Miguel mentioned it.”
As they passed through a hall that opened onto what looked like an entertainment room, a man in an electric wheelchair rolled toward them.
“Remi, am I glad we ran into you,” Honey said. She twisted and held out her hand, indicating Tori. “This is Tori, she’s a friend of Les. You don’t know if he’s around, do you?”
The older man looked intently at Tori, she felt like a specimen under scrutiny.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Tori.” His voice was a presence all its own. There was something familiar about the man, maybe he just had a family resemblance to Caro.
“Tori, this is Remi, he’s everyone’s uncle.”
Remi chuckled. “It’s not nearly as complicated as Honey makes it sound. You’re a friend of Les’s, and he told you he’d be here? Is he expecting you?” Remi titled his head to the side.
“Not exactly. I came here looking for Caro because I thought she might know where Les is. But Honey thinks Les might be in the kitchen if he’s here.”
“That is his favorite spot, that and the nursery. He was around yesterday, and we had fresh cinnamon rolls with breakfast, so I assume he’s here.”
“Cinnamon rolls?” Tori asked.
“They’re a favorite around here, so he typically makes them for everyone. If you see him before we do, send him back toward the kitchen, would ya?” Honey asked.
“Of course,” Remi said with a nod before continuing on his way.
“Here we are,” Honey announced when they walked into the kitchen.
It was the perfect combination of elaborate home and commercial kitchen. A woman sat on a stool flipping through a binder at a counter. She sipped coffee and a cinnamon roll the size of her head was half-eaten on a plate next to the coffee.
“Is Les around?” Honey asked.
The woman looked up. When her eyes met Tori’s, she seemed to soften around the edges. She sighed more than said, “Oh, I understand.” She gave Tori a warm smile and then was off the stool. “Come on in, have a seat. Would you like some coffee?”
The woman had Les’s eyes. Tori could see the family resemblance with her.
“Yes please, thank you,” Tori said.
“Connie, this is Tori,” Honey started.
“Tori, that’s your name,” Connie said.
“Do you know me?” Tori asked as Connie placed a mug of coffee in front of her.
Connie shook her head. “No, but I know Les, and I’m pretty sure he thinks you’re special.”
Tori sniffed against the unexpected onslaught of tears.
Honey crossed the kitchen and returned with a box of tissues.
Connie sat down and took Tori’s hands in hers. “Do you want to tell me about it?”
Tori plucked a tissue from the box. The words spilled from her, she no longer felt like some idiot chasing after a boy. She just hurt.
“I don’t think Les thinks I’m special any longer. And I need to explain to him what he saw.”
“What do you think Les thinks he saw?” Connie prompted.
Tori took a shuddering breath. “He thinks he saw a text to another man. He thinks I’m seeing someone else. He just left without letting me explain.” She blew her nose.
“If Les saw a text to another man, how can you explain it? Who was the text to?”
Tori scrunched up her face as pain lanced through her heart. Was it ever going to get easier talking about this? Today it felt harder than ever. She fisted the tissue with one hand and spread her fingers on the other hand wide. The back of her throat grew thick, and her nose stuffed up.
Stupid crying.
“When I was a freshman,” Tori began. She told them everything about Samantha. Everything. “And so, I keep texting her. I can’t let her go, she’s the only person who ever really got me, you know? She was, and still is, the best friend I’ve ever had. And I keep telling her about Les, and that’s what he saw.” Tori pulled her purse onto her lap and rummaged for her phone. She opened the screen and pulled up the text to show Honey and Connie.
It said, ‘I have so much to tell you. I love you Sam.’
“He saw the I love you Sam part and got incandescent with rage and took off without giving me a chance to explain.”
“He doesn’t know about Sam?” Honey asked.
Tori shook her head. “I wasn’t keeping her secret, she just hadn’t come up. I was going to tell him about her, of course I was. We hadn’t gotten there yet. To be honest, we were both pretty wrapped up in realizing we liked each other.”
Honey rubbed her hand over Tori’s shoulder. Connie picked up her hands again and patted them.
“Would you like one of his cinnamon rolls?”
“Maybe half, that looks huge?” Tori replied.
Honey got up and returned a few moments later with a neatly cut mass of frosted dessert roll.
Tori reached out and plucked a piece off. It was perfectly sweet and rich. She licked the sticky frosting from her fingers. Of course, it was good, Les didn’t make anything other than amazing desserts.
“When I went to look for him, I thought he’d go into work, but he didn’t. And when I went to work, everything got worse because they fired me.”
“Oh, Tori, I’m so sorry.”
Tori took another bite and shrugged. “I kind of expected it. Anyway, his cousin Miguel, I guess he’s also your nephew?” Tori looked quizzically at Connie.
She nodded, “Yes, he’s one of them. You worked with Miguel at the farm?”
Tori nodded. “I did. After I got fired, I went to say goodbye and to see if he’d know maybe how to find Les. They hang out together, so… Anyway, he told me about you, and I thought that between you and Caro you might know where I could find Les. I just want a chance to explain. If he decides I was a mistake, then fair enough.”
“Fair enough? I doubt that. Tori, he’s jumping to conclusions,” Honey said. “He needs to hear this and then beg you for forgiveness. Don’t let him off that easily.”
“I’m not going to fight for someone’s attention when they don’t want to give it to me. I already went through all of that to get Les to even see me. This is my last ditch effort. I can’t keep letting him break my heart when he doesn’t even know he’s doing it.”
She looked at the cinnamon roll, it no longer held any appeal for her. She stood up. “Thank you for the coffee. If you see him, please ask him to call me, or come by my apartment. I should go.”
She turned and walked out the way they had come in. She hurried back through the rooms Honey had led her through. Fortunately, she seemed to remember exactly which way they had come. When she saw the front entrance, her vision blurred with more tears, and she ran out the front door.
She started her car and pulled out of the drive. Tears blurred her vision. She gave up once on the road. She pulled her car over and sobbed against the steering wheel. Les didn’t want her, he was too quick to judge, and he left. She wanted to be strong enough to not hurt like this. She wanted to go back twenty minutes in time and not have trauma dumped everything at Connie’s feet.
Tori started to hyperventilate. She scrambled to get the door open. She got it open in time to lean out and throw up. She hadn’t cried this hard since Sam… Tori took a long, steadying breath, since Sam died.
Maybe this was her grief reaction when something she loved passed on. Les was still alive, but whatever relationship they had managed to have, that she had hoped they would have, was now lost.