14. Roxy
Roxy
I don’t know what’s wrong with me tonight. Normally I can pretend I feel nothing towards Chopper and I can keep my distance from him. I know how to keep him boxed into a non-romantic section of my brain. I was happy with him there. I knew that’s where he belonged.
Now? I don’t know what’s happening. This is uncharted territory.
I pressed my lips to his before I could lose the nerve and back away. For once, I wanted to make a decision I wanted and not think about all of the consequences I'm going to face because of it. I just wanted to act on impulse and see where it took me.
As soon as Chopper’s lips touched mine, I knew I’d be changed forever. There’s no way I can pretend I don’t want him anymore. There’s no way I’ll be able to shove him back into that non-romantic section of my brain. He’s here to stay and my brain is screaming to never let him go.
We kiss for what feels like forever and yet only a few seconds at the same time. When he steps away from me, there’s a soft smile playing on his lips. He looks so sweet, so much like the boy I fell in love with a decade ago.
After Chopper gets in the shower, I slip out of my pants and into his sweats. I climb under his sheets and lift the fabric to my nose. I inhale deeply and smile. They smell just like him. I swear I could bathe in his scent and still not grow tired of it.
A few minutes later, I hear the water turn off and I know he’ll be walking in here within the next few minutes. I don’t know if I should pretend I'm asleep, or act normal. I don’t know what to do now that I’ve confessed I want more between us.
Before I can decide what to do, Chopper steps into the room with a pair of pajama pants hanging low on his hips and he’s using a towel to dry his hair.
“Dang, I like seeing you in my bed.” He grins.
“I like seeing you without a shirt on.” I shrug.
He chuckles and shakes his head. He pulls the blanket back and climbs into bed next to me. He watches me with a hint of amusement and I quirk a brow.
“What?”
“Nothing, I just never thought I’d see this sight.” He motions to me.
“Are you complaining? I could go home.”
“Never, baby. This is a dream come true… You really want this?”
“I want you,” I whisper softly.
He tugs me against his side and his eyes slide closed. My head is resting on his chest with my arm draped over his stomach and my thigh over his. Chopper’s arm is wrapped around me and he rubs his hand up and down my back, lulling me to sleep.
“You know I'm never letting you go now, right?” He asks softly.
“I don’t think I want you to… but I think we should keep things quiet around here. If my dad…”
“I’ll handle him. I'm not keeping our relationship from him. I respect him too much for that.”
“Just… give me two weeks. After that we can tell him.”
I nibble on my bottom lip. I want to give us a chance to make sure this will work between us. I don’t want to jump in with both feet before I know this isn't just an impulsive decision.
“Look at me, Rox,” Chopper whispers softly.
I blink up at him and find so much raw emotion in his eyes. He’s never hidden anything from me. He’s always been real and transparent.
“I know you’re freaking out, but there’s no reason for that. I'm in this for the long haul and I’ll put you first in my life. You never have to worry about anything as long as you’re with me.”
“What if I'm too much to deal with?” I whisper into the darkness.
I haven’t dated much over the years. Most guys are intimidated by me.
They want someone weak and feminine. I know how to be feminine, but I'm stronger than most men want. The ones who didn’t mind my personality, once they found out I was the daughter of a motorcycle club president, they ran away with their tails between their legs.
Dating a biker is out of the question. The men in the Savage Wolves were told to stay away from the Reeves triplets and they obey their president.
The ones in different clubs, they’re terrified of the infamous Porter Reeves.
They knew it would be foolish to cross him and they’d run away as soon as they heard my last name.
“Baby girl, I’ve spent my entire life with you. We’ve spent more time together than I’ve spent with any other person. You haven’t been too much for me yet, what makes you think that’s going to change?”
“I don’t know. Guys always make comments about me being too tough or stubborn for them. I don’t want to lose you because of that.”
“You know how everyone calls you a honey badger?” He chuckles when I sit up and glare down at him.
Chopper tucks his hands behind his head and watches me carefully. He knows if he touches me, this conversation will be over.
“You’re not a honey badger, baby. You’re a lioness.
You’re confident, decisive, focused, extremely independent, and strong.
You get angry and aggressive when someone tries to challenge you.
You don’t need a man and that intimidates a lot of guys.
You can take care of yourself and you don’t want someone who thinks differently. ”
“Then why would you want me?”
My heart hammers in my chest as I wait for him to answer me. I want him in my life, but I don’t want someone who will try to change me. I want someone who will love me for me.
“Because I'm happy living life alongside of you. I don’t feel threatened when you handle things yourself. I’m happy to sit in the shadows and have your back.
I’ll be a shoulder you can cry on when you’re tired of being strong.
I’ll be there to pick up the pieces when you want to break. We’ll face the world hand in hand.”
Lying back down, Chopper wraps his arms around me and presses a kiss to the top of my head. I close my eyes, unsure of what else to say. It’s almost four o’clock in the morning. I think it’s better if we both get some sleep.
“Morning, gorgeous,” Chopper murmurs as he stokes his fingers up and down my back.
“Morning, handsome,” I whisper, refusing to open my eyes. I'm afraid if I do, I’ll realize this is all a dream. I just want to stay in this happy bubble for a little while longer.
“We need to get dressed.”
“Why?” This time I do open my eyes so I can glare up at Chopper.
His blonde hair is a crazy mess right now, but his beard is somehow perfect. His pale green eyes stare down at me with a smirk tugging on the corner of his lips. I swear he’s the most attractive man I’ve ever met.
“I want to take you out for breakfast…” He glances over his shoulder at the clock and frowns. “Lunch? Brunch? I don’t know! I just want to take you out and feed you.”
“Are you asking me on a date?” I grin.
I never expected him to be shy when it came to asking someone out, but he’s most likely had the same amount of experience as I do with dating.
Though girls love the bad boy types, a guy in a real motorcycle club makes them think twice. They’ve all seen Sons of Anarchy and Chopper looks so much like Jax Teller, except with a longer beard. I think they’re afraid of the lifestyle and don’t want to get involved.
The girls who were born into this lifestyle, they don’t want to be with a man outside of their club. They know how sticky that can get and they want no part of it.
“I'm trying, but clearly I'm not doing a great job.” He runs a hand through his hair before scratching his chest.
My gaze drops to his bare torso and the tattoos covering his skin. I’ve always loved tattoos, but I don’t have any.
“Does it hurt to get a tattoo?” I skim my fingers over his ink, taking in the intricate designs.
“It hurts, but it’s not terrible. Pain is temporary and you’re left with the ink you want.” He watches me carefully, but I don’t lift my gaze to meet his. “Do you want a tattoo, baby?”
“I’ve always wanted one, but I was always too scared to get one.”
“I could call my buddy and see if he can squeeze you in today if you want one. What would you want?”
“A lion,” I whisper. “With a scar across its face and green eyes.”
“Should we do it?” He wiggles his brows.
“We?”
“Well, if you get a lion, I think it’s only fitting for me to get a lioness.”
“Where would you get it?”
“Right over my heart. You own my heart, you might as well own the skin over it too.”