1. Mia
MIA
Present Day
My life hasn’t gone the way I thought it would. I thought being engaged to Ivan would finally be enough for me to have my own life in some way. I thought our families would be closer than ever. I thought a loving marriage would be in the plans considering the man I dated said he loved me.
Granted, relationships take work. This being arranged means being in love won’t come as easy. We have to work for it.
I was willing to put in the work. I was willing to try and live my best life with Ivan since this is the only life I know of the only life I was promised.
Now, I’m standing here in front of the mirror getting ready for my bridal shower, staring at my busted lip and bruised cheek.
Ivan gets so angry.
I should have listened to my instincts.
It’s been the longest six months of my life, and this is how it’s supposed to be forever. I don’t know what to do. There isn’t a backup plan. There isn’t another alternative for me. The contract has been signed. The deal has been made, and the only way out is death.
Every day that passes, death seems to be the only logical escape.
I thought Ivan loved me. I thought he wanted to give me the world. I thought both of us were on the same page. We would learn to love the life we were made to have. We would make the best of it.
But I’m not stupid, no matter what Ivan thinks or says.
I was stupid when I agreed to marry him that day six months ago when I ignored the warning signs, when I saw glimpses of him I never had before.
Now, I’m here, dabbing concealer on every bruise so no one asks any questions. I hope they do. I hope someone cares enough to reach out to me when they notice I’m holding in screams.
All I want to do is cry, “Help me! Save me. Someone, please, get me out of here!”
But why bother? When the Bykovs and the Roswells have more reach than anyone in the world. They could find me anywhere. No matter what corner of the earth I run to.
I’m realizing that while my life was mapped out for me since before I was born, I’m nothing more than a prop, a bargaining chip so everyone gets what they want.
Everyone but me.
I don’t matter in this equation. I never have.
That much is apparent.
I freeze when I hear Ivan’s footsteps coming down the hall. My hands tremble. I grab onto my forearms to keep from shaking, hoping he walks by the door. I only want him to leave me alone. I want a day without him being abusive.
Physically, emotionally, mentally—he does it all.
I’m drained. He’s sucked the life from my soul and has imprisoned it within the bars of his own commands.
I watch the shadows under the door stop. He’s right there. Just outside. The only thing saving me is this door.
The knock startles me and I drop my mascara in the sink, leaving black lines in the white bowl. He’ll be so angry if he sees that. Snagging a tissue, I wipe the evidence of my mess away and toss the tissue in the toilet, flushing it so he thinks I’m going to the bathroom.
“Mia, I have to step out for a bit, but I’ll meet you at the bridal shower, okay?”
I grip the edge of the counter with my hands and hang my head. I’m relieved and furious. “You promise to be there? I won’t know anyone there, Ivan. I really need you there,” I say as quiet as I can.
The weaker I sound, the less likely I receive his abuse.
He slams his fist so hard on the door, the hinges shake and the wood cracks. “What did I just fucking say, Mia? I said I’d be there. This isn’t the wedding. You’d be fine without me. Papa will be there to take my place if I’m not there.”
“I’m not marrying him,” I say under my breath, but it’s loud enough for Ivan to hear.
I cover my mouth with the hand that has my ring on it. I stare in the mirror, wide-eyed, tears cascading down my cheeks. My heart pounds with fear. My bones shake. My mind screams at me to run, to get as far as I can before I’m captured.
At least, I can say I didn’t give up on myself.
He tries the handle, jiggling it in hopes the door opens. “Repeat that again, Mia,” he threatens.
I don’t move. I don’t say a word. My mind whirls to try and come up with a lie, something, anything to protect myself.
“I said he’ll be carrying the heavy gifts. He will be a lot of help.” I wipe the tears away, hoping it’s good enough for him to believe.
“That’s what I thought,” he sneers. “Don’t forget, Mia. You belong to me. I own you. Don’t even think about causing issues at the bridal shower or it will be the last thing you ever do. Do you understand me?”
I close my eyes and inhale, taking a deep breath to calm down so he doesn’t hear the emotion caught in my throat. “I understand, Sweetheart. I can’t wait to see you at the bridal shower.”
“I can’t wait to get this wedding over with. I can’t believe I have to go through all of this, and I don’t even get to have sex with you. I don’t see how this marriage is worth it.”
Another stab to the heart.
“Money and power,” he says to himself. “Not that your family knows anything about that, isn’t that right, Mia?”
I look away, staring at the tiled floor he had imported from Russia. The colors are bright and perfect for the house on the beach.
I’ve learned over the last few months, because Ivan likes to remind me of my place, that my family has taken a large financial hit with my father being under investigation from the Feds.
Things have slowed and the situation has put more pressure on this wedding. My father needs me to marry Ivan, or I could be the reason my family loses everything.
It’s funny how life always brings changes, even when those changes aren’t welcomed.
“You’re going to be late to your own bridal shower if you don’t hurry up. If I find out you’re a minute late, don’t bother coming home tonight. I’ll lock the door and you’ll sleep outside again.”
Again.
Like I could ever forget the first time.
The rain pours. The windshield wipers swipe back and forth at the highest speed, and it isn’t enough. I check the clock and panic twists my insides. I’m late on my curfew. Traffic is bumper to bumper. There’s an accident up ahead and no matter how many texts I send Ivan, he doesn’t reply.
Wedding dress shopping was a bust and a complete waste of time. I didn’t find one dress I liked, not that it matters what I like, I have to follow Ivan’s request on what he wants my dress to look like.
Strapless. Simple. Ballgown. No lace. No beading. No long train. No veil.
Everything opposite of what I want. I must have tried on fifty dresses today and they all looked the same. I hated every single one. I couldn’t bring myself to purchase anything which I knew would bring punishment when I got home, but now this?
I’ll never see the light of day again.
I honk my horn, knowing it won’t make the cars move any quicker.
The sirens up ahead are a blur, the red and blue lights muddled by the rain.
Thunder rolls above and my body erupts in goosebumps.
I hate storms. I hate lightning. Every time it storms, all I want to do is hide under the covers and wait for it to go away.
Two hours pass of inching forward before I’m finally free. I speed home the best I can, remaining careful around the curves.
When I pull into the driveway, I put the car in park, and stare out onto the ocean, wishing every wave could swallow me whole. The sea is raging from the storm. The waves crash in vicious rhythms, white seafoam clinging to the shore.
I get out of the luxury car, hold my purse to my chest, and run towards the porch. Rain soaks me. My hair is drenched, sticking to my face, and water fills my shoes.
I don’t have a key to the front door. I always have to knock to be welcomed inside. I do. I knock, then cup my hands around my eyes to peer into the window. Ivan is there with his arms crossed, standing unmoving, glaring at me. Even from here, the muscle in his jaw ticks with annoyance.
“Did you get my messages?” I shout over the rain slamming against the roof. “It wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t me. I tried to get here on time.”
He steps forward, bending down until his face is eye level with mine. “Maybe you should have tried harder. You know the rules. You’re late. You don’t get to come inside.”
“But Ivan—”
He cuts me off by pressing the button that frosts the glass and leaves me outside. I’m soaked and freezing. My teeth chatter from the cold. I rub my arms up and down to bring me some worth but it’s no use, with wet clothes and wet hair, being warm isn’t in the cards for me.
I walk to the back deck since it’s covered, protecting me from the rain, and I lounge in one of the chairs, waiting for the storm to pass.
Day turns to night, the storm holds strong, and I’m left frozen in fear with every single lightning strike, wishing one would hit me.
“Mia! Are you fucking stupid? Answer me.”
His yelling brings me out of the horrible memory. I still feel the chill around me from that night and hear the thunder in my dreams or how the wind howled like a wild pack of wolves.
“I won’t be late, Ivan,” I whisper, drying my eyes, and reapplying my makeup.
“Good. I’ll see you later. Don’t cause any trouble.”
“I won’t,” I agree, knowing my duty for when I’m out in public.
Don’t say a word. Just smile. Nod. And repeat.
“Good.” The pounding of his heavy steps fade, and a second later the door slams shut, leaving me alone and in peace.
I break.
My knees give out. I fall onto the floor, wrapping my arms around my legs and cry, wondering how this has become my life, asking why there’s no escape.
Knowing crying won’t save me, I stand, dry my eyes, wash my face, and start my makeup again.
It only takes me a half hour to get ready after he leaves. He’s the one who’s the reason why we’re always late. He’s always running his mouth or finding a reason to get mad at me. I would’ve already been out the door if he didn’t stop me just to instill fear in me.
His point is proven. I’m scared of him. I’ll always be scared of him.
Of this entire damn life. Our families. Everyone. Everything. I only want to be left alone.
Being alone is a luxury for people who are kept like me.
Slipping on a simple white dress that falls to my ankles, I snag my car keys and my purse, and leave, knowing when I arrive there isn’t going to be one person I know there. This is for the groom’s side of the family.
The ride is quiet. I don’t turn on the radio. All I hear is the hum of tires. It doesn’t take long to get to the venue. It’s one of Ivan’s father’s buildings, a luxury resort skyscraper. He shut down the entire place and stopped all reservations for this bridal shower.
Aleksandr Bykov, regardless of his title, has always treated me with respect and kindness. I don’t know where Ivan got his cruelty, but I don’t think his father is like that at all. Not that I’m the best judge of character—considering I didn’t even see Ivan’s red flags until it was too late.
The Bykov Hotel and Resort is so tall, it nearly touches the clouds. The windows are tinted so black, the building would blend in with the night if it weren’t for all of the tastefully placed neon lights.
I pull into valet and an attendant is right there with a big smile on his face.
“Ms. Roswell. It’s so good to see you. Congratulations on your special day.” He seems so happy and genuine to tell me that. His dimples in his cheeks make him seem young and his hair is curling over his forehead.
It’s funny how the world goes on when you’re barely hanging onto the world.
“Thank you so much—” My eyes drift to his nametag “—Henry. I really appreciate it.”
I do my best to seem excited or happy, but I know my smile is forced by how his falters. I hand him the key, and he takes it from me with questions in his eyes I hope he doesn’t ask.
“Mia!” The sound of a deep Russian voice has me turn around to see Alek jogging from the front doors to greet me.
He’s so handsome. His silver hair is styled and parted perfectly.
Not one hair out of place and his suit is tailor made to fit every muscle he works so hard to have.
I shouldn’t look at him like this. I shouldn’t feel this way about my fiancé’s father, but he’s the only peace I have. How can I not cling onto it?
He kisses my cheek and pulls back, staring down at me since he’s so much taller than my five-foot-four frame. His dark green eyes narrow when he stares at my face, his brows furrowing to create wrinkles.
His thumb brushes my busted bottom lip, and he growls. “What happened here?”
I pull away and do my best not to smile or the cut will start bleeding again. “Oh, nothing. I open the fridge door and the edge of it whacked me. I’m fine, really.” I know it isn’t the best lie, but I hope it’s enough for him to believe me.
He looks over my shoulder and anger replaces his worry. I take a step away from him, not wanting to be at the end of his wrath. If Ivan’s anger is bad, I can’t imagine Alek’s. He’s the boss, the man in charge, the one that makes the order to kill someone.
“Where is my son?” He quirks a brow at me, his jaw set the same way Ivan’s does before he yells at me.
“He said he will be here,” I explain with a smile on my face, not wanting to give anything away. “He had an errand to run.”
“And you drove here? With no security? You shouldn’t be driving. It’s why I gave him extra security so neither of you are without.”
I didn’t know that. “Um. I wanted to drive. It’s no big deal. It’s the last little bit of independence I have,” I try to tease but Alek doesn’t seem very amused.
“Come on.” His hand drops to my lower back and guides me inside. “Your bridal shower is about to start.”
I shouldn’t let out a long breath when I feel the warmth of his hand seep into my back. Every muscle relaxes and it hits me… I feel safe.
I don’t know anyone here. I’m not allowed to talk to my friends anymore and I’m only allowed to call my family on Sundays.
But I know Alek, and for once, I can breathe easy.