3. Mia
MIA
“I tried to end the contract for you, Mia, but it’s ironclad.
If you ran, it could mean your death. Not by me, but your family.
They are desperate, Mia. Things are bad.
They haven’t told you anything, but they need the money.
You say the word and I’ll get you as far away from here as I can.
I can’t do much, but I owe you for my son’s actions. ”
Alek’s words run through my head while I stare at my reflection. This time, there’s a veil in my hair and a white dress clinging to my body. It’s big, fluffy, with a tight corset that is tied so tight, I can’t breathe.
I had a choice after the shooting. Alek gave me one. I still haven’t seen Ivan since the day of the shooting, but I know he’s here waiting. He’s been sending me updates every five minutes. Pictures of him in his tuxedo. Images of him smiling with my family. Photos of our rings.
But I know the truth.
They’re all warnings.
He’s reminding me that this is my only option. He’s reminding me he’s in control.
“No,” I whisper.
The new bruise on my cheek shows through makeup. There’s no hiding it. How big of a fool would I be to walk down that aisle? There’s a choice. There’s always a choice. Even if it kills me, I know in my heart that it was the right decision to make.
I can’t marry this man. He’s a stranger. He pretended to be someone he wasn’t my entire life just to get me to this point.
Tired. Afraid. Nervous. Riddled with anxiety. Timid.
I’m not this person. I don’t want to be this person.
“What am I doing?” Reality comes crashing down. The fear lifts and saving myself takes over.
I have to get out of here.
I toss my engagement rings on the floor, pick up the tulle skirt so I can run, and look at myself one last time.
I smile, finally liberated.
I’m free. Almost.
I need to be out the door and down the aisle in five minutes. That won’t be happening. I can’t exit using the door that opens to the hallway. The risk at someone seeing me is too high. There are French doors that open to a beautiful garden and it’s the only chance I have.
Oh god. I can’t breathe.
Am I really doing this? Am I being unreasonable? Am I running scared?
I shake my head, knowing that’s not true. Yes, I’m afraid, but I know I’ll never have a happy life if I walk down that aisle. If Ivan is abusive now, I can’t imagine who he’ll turn into if we’re married.
I glance around the room, finding myself alone on my wedding day. No bridesmaids, no mom, no maid of honor.
Alone. Just like Ivan wanted. I’m tired of him getting what he wants. What about what I want? I’m tired of living my life for someone else, for someone who doesn’t appreciate the air in my lungs in the beat of my heart.
I can’t do this.
The expensive life, the wealth, the luxury, it will all come to an end, and I don’t care. Money has never mattered this much to me. The pearls around my neck? An apology from him when he hit me so hard, he knocked me unconscious.
I rip it off my neck and throw it across the room, the pearls bouncing and clattering on the hardwood floor. I take the back off the matching earrings, tossing them on the floor too along with my bracelet.
I don’t want his apology jewelry. He doesn’t mean a damn word he says.
I’m done.
Grabbing the doorhandle, I take a deep breath, settling my nervous. My stomach twists with uncertainty. This attempt to escape might kill me, but I have no other choice. Taking one last look at the high beamed ceilings, I twist the handle and slowly open the door so no one can hear me.
The wind blows in the sweet scent of flowers, the only beauty this day has to offer. The sun shines bright, the warmth beaconing me to touch freedom. One step. That’s all it takes for me to start a new life.
Kicking off my high heels, I run down the stone path, the sunlight hitting my shoulders, almost as if it’s pushing me to get away. The stone pathway digs into the bottoms of my feet, attempting to slow me down. When pain becomes normal for everyday living, things that should hurt, no longer do.
Bees bumble as they travel from flower to flower. Butterflies flap and spready their wings, landing on freshly bloomed petals. Dragonflies soar, nearly landing on me.
The world moves on, no matter where life takes you or how bad it gets.
I press my back against the wall of the cathedral church, peeking around the corner to see the getaway car sitting out front and no one is outside. It’s a beautiful vintage cream-colored Bentley. On the back window it says, “Honk! We just got married!”
Making sure I have a tight hold of my skirt, I make a run for it. The tulle flows behind me, the corset squeezing my lungs, making it difficult to breathe.
The things I’ve done for this contract. Never again.
I stretch out my arms to feel the car under my hands. It’s real. This is happening. I’m getting away.
Closing my eyes, I hope the driver’s side door opens.
The handle clicks.
I climb inside, my dress taking up the majority of the seat. I don’t bother with my seatbelt. I can’t waste a second.
It must be my lucky day somehow because the keys are in the ignition. Without looking back, the engine rumbles to life, and I slam my foot on the gas. The tires spin on the pavement, burning rubber that seeps through the vents. I rip off my veil, tossing it in the passenger seat, needing it off me.
Whipping the wheel left, cars honk when I turn right in front of them, cutting them off. They have to slam on their breaks and skid to a stop in a dich to miss hitting me. A few people hold up their arms, and one gives me their middle finger.
I don’t care.
No one knows what I’ve had to go through to get here. I’m being selfish.
But it’s my wedding day. I’m allowed to be.
The air conditioning blows against my heated face, calming me in a sense. The radio plays softly from the speakers, playing a song I don’t recognize.
I’m not sure how long I’m driving before I feel like I’ve gotten far enough away, and I can relax. My shoulders slump and the tension in my neck eases.
Now that the adrenaline has slightly faded, something else has the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Goosebumps form on my arms.
I know that feeling.
I lift my gaze in the rearview mirror to see hard, green eyes staring at me, his silver hair seeming brighter in the sunlight.
“Mia,” Alek says, holding up my diary that I lost the day of the shooting.
My eyes widen at the sight. I thought Ivan had it and was waiting to deliver the punishment for all the horror stories I’d written in there.
To make matters worse, my diary is open, meaning Alek has been reading my most inner, private thoughts and experiences. Some pages even contain him.
Pages that were never supposed to see the light of day.
He’s the last person I expected to see. I gasp, wondering if he is going to force me to go back to the church. No matter how kind he is to me, I don’t know if I trust him.
I jerk the wheel, shocked to see him, and afraid what this must mean.
“Mia!” Alek shouts, reaching for me from the backseat.
I whip my head to stare straight ahead and overcorrect when I turn the wheel left, taking us to the opposite side of the road.
It’s too late. There’s no way to miss what’s about to happen.
The car slams into the concrete block of the bridge and soars over it. The lake comes to view below, the water getting closer as we nosedive. I do my best to brace myself, but how can I prepare for what’s coming?
Time moves fast and slow. The water comes quickly yet my thoughts can’t wrap around what’s happening either.
The lake meets the front end of the car and we smash violently. The hood pops up and hits the window. The force causes my head to smack against the steering wheel then snap back, slamming against the headrest.
My vision blurs as water fills the car and we start to sink.
“Mia, look at me. Look at me!” Alek yells, the water up to our chest.
I meet his gaze in the mirror, tilting my head back to suck in as much air as I can.
“We’re going to go under. I need you to hold your breath for as long as you can, you hear me? I’m going to get us out of here, Lyubimaya. Hold your breath,” he nods.
I suck in one last breath, my head going under the cold water.
I try my seatbelt again, yanking, tugging, pulling, pressing the button, anything everything to get me out. I slam my fists on the window, knowing it’s pointless since I can’t get out of the seatbelt.
The tulle of my dress floats around me and for a moment, I’m free of him. I’m weightless. There’s no gravity. I’m weightless.
A muted pound has me turn my head to see Alek trying to open the driver’s side door. Bubbles leave his mouth when he yanks on the hand, screaming into the lake that swallows his plea whole.
My chest burns. My head grows with agony as if it might burst. I can’t hold my breath much longer.
Alek swims to the surface to get more air and I’m left alone, not bothered at all that this is how I die. I’m free of Ivan. I won’t die by his hand, but instead, my own. This was a possibility when I decided to leave. I had to weigh death as an option.
I never expected it to come so fast, so suddenly. In a blink of an eye, my escape from a life of constant torture led to me finding peace.
The water feels amazing wrapped around me, holding me the way I haven’t felt in years. The chill sweeps into my core.
My arms fall limp, floating like they did when I played ‘dead man’s float’ when I was a little girl. I played it with Ivan in the pool. I wish I knew then that he despised my existence. Maybe then I would’ve ran away before he could ever sink his nails into me.
Contract or not.
Alek is pounding on the window again, but I don’t have the energy to look at him. I can’t hold my breath anymore. My vision blurs on the sides and darkness creeps in.
I’m left staring at the bubbles floating to the surface that escape me.
I’ve always heard when people are about to die, their life flashes before their eyes, but that’s not happening to me. There are no memories I want to replay. There aren’t people I’m going to miss.
Well, maybe one. And he’s doing his best to save me.
I need to let him know that he has to let me go.
The glass is cold against my palm when I press my hand against it, using the last of my energy to tell him goodbye.
He shakes his head while I nod in return.
It’s okay. Let me go. I’ll be okay.
A manage a small smile, thanking him for trying to save me because Ivan never would. Alek has shown me kindness even if I wouldn’t be locked into this contract if it weren’t for him. There’s no time to hold grudges or pain.
There’s only time to say goodbye.
I cough, water filling my mouth and slipping down my throat when I instinctively try to breathe.
I cough again.
And again, more water drowning me from the inside out.
This time, a memory does come to mind.
And it’s Alek, saving me from the gunshots at the bridal party. I remember how he felt curled over me, his body heat pressed against me, keeping me safe from any bullets.
For some reason, I hold onto that in my last few moments.
My heart slows and my eyes hood.
That memory locks in, giving me a sense of safety. Closing my eyes, I find peace in that memory, allowing my soul to be secure.
Maybe if things were different, maybe if I could marry Alek instead, this wouldn’t be what happened today.
Maybe in another life I can be with the man who keeps saving me. Happiness wasn’t in the cards for me. That’s okay. Sometimes, souls are damned for ruin, even before they exist.
I cough one last time, the last bit of air from my lungs leaving my body, and the world goes dark.
I float just like I did as a child, finding the peace I’ve been craving since I can remember. In the distance, I hear the loud pounding of Alek’s fist against the glass. His efforts fade into the ether as Death’s hands pull me into darkness.
Goodbye.
And thank you.