7. Mia
MIA
“You can take a shower first. I’ll wait and make us something to eat in the meantime. Bathroom is upstairs.”
I watch Alek walk—no—saunter into the kitchen, his shirt filthy with lake water, mud, sweat, and even blood. It’s been a hell of a day and the one thing I never expected was for the day to end sharing a cabin with him.
“Are you sure? I don’t mind waiting,” I offer, even though I’m already on my way to the steps. “I don’t have anything to wear. Crap, my suitcase is in the car.”
“I have plenty of clothes for you to wear. Grab whatever. I’d rather us not leave the cabin tonight.”
I nod, a rush of excitement interrupting my heartbeat. I want to wear his clothes. I bet his shirt is going to fall to my knees and wrap me in safety. I’m not going to argue about that.
“I’ll grab your bag in the morning. Go up and shower.”
The words I really want to say are, “Why don’t you join me?” But I don’t have the courage. Instead, I start walking up the stairs, my hand sliding up the log railing. That’s when I notice how dirty my feet are.
I look behind me, gasping in horror when muddy footprints are all over the floor. Embarrassment floods my cheeks. Alek has probably already seen the mess and hasn’t said a word to spare my feelings because I’m starting to see he truly does care about my emotions.
That’s new to me.
No one has ever cared about me like he has. That knowledge makes it so hard to stop myself from having feelings for him. I have to do what I can to stop myself from falling for him. He’s forbidden. I’m not allowed to want him. It’s too messy. Too impossible. Too unlikely.
There are too many facts going against us than for us.
One being he is my ex-fiancé’s father.
The most important fact of them all that I need to keep in mind. He’s only being kind. Kindness doesn’t mean love.
There’s a small landing at the top of the stairs that holds a small desk and a computer. A giant window takes up the entire wall, giving me a view of the forest we somehow survived in.
Pushing the bedroom door open, I pause in the entryway when I see one king-sized bed settled perfectly in the middle of the wall. I’m sure there’s another room somewhere.
One bed would be a problem for me because the last thing I’d want to do is sleep if I’m in the same bed as Aleksandr Bykov. Not that I’d admit this out loud but there were many nights when I dreamed of Alek while I laid next to his son.
I knew even dreaming about him would bring me the peace I needed just to close my eyes to fall asleep. Then, when sleep would finally take me under, my mind conjured up lives that I knew could never be mine.
Taking a right into the bathroom, I flip the light on, and stand there like I’m lost. There’s a walk-in shower, a sauna to the left, and a big claw foot tub that could easily fit two people.
I bite my bottom lip imagining taking a bubble bath and Alek joining me.
Even with the excitement of Alek invading my daydreams, exhaustion hits me. Every part of my body is heavy. My eyes burn from how bright the light is and I yawn, unsure if I even have the energy to go through the motions of a shower.
I’m able to lower the brightness of the light by turning the knob to a dull, barely-there glow, like a candlelight flickering all alone in a dark room.
Immediately, the burning stops in my eyes and stare at myself in the mirror, a habit I’m all too familiar with.
I grab the counter and my bottom lip trembles. The ache in my chest from the CPR compressions reminds me that I died today. The old bruises show on my arms, neck, and face. The lake water washed all the coverup makeup off and I’m shown the reasons why I saved myself today.
It’s over.
My nightmare is finally over.
Blood is dried on my forehead where I smacked it against the wheel. My entire body quakes from the trauma, the shock of everything that’s happened today and my knees buckle.
I hit the floor, resting my back against the cabinets as the biggest cries leaves the prison in my soul where I’ve kept all my pain. Every sob hurts my chest. Alek saved my life and I’m reminded with every sob that escapes me.
I can’t believe I survived.
All the years of torment and abuse has finally come to an end. I can’t believe I risked my life to get away from Ivan. I can’t believe Alek is with me. I can’t believe I’m at his safehouse.
I made it.
I made it out alive and I have no plan on what to do next. I always figured if I found a way to leave the Bykov family, I would figure everything else out later.
Maybe later hasn’t arrived yet since I’m with Alek. I have no doubt he’ll help me get where I want or need to be. He’s stayed by my side this far. He won’t let me drown again.
A knock at the door startles me and I don’t bother wiping away the tears on my cheeks.
Alek is standing in the doorway, his shirt tight across his chest and messily untucked from his pants. It’s still shows the horror of the day, stained with blood and dirt. His sleeves are still rolled to his elbows, showcasing strong forearms and tattoos.
I don’t say anything. There’s nothing that needs to be said. I wrap my arms around my legs and pull them to my chest, turning my head away so he can’t see me cry.
He walks to the shower, reaching an arm inside to turn the shower on. The spray struggles for a few seconds since it hasn’t been turned on in a while. After a few coughs from the showerhead, water flows freely and steam billows to the ceiling.
Alek offers me his hand to help me up but I don’t move. I don’t have it in me. I’m done. I’m exhausted. I can’t stand. Ivan is in my mind, his threats yelling at me even though he isn’t here. I can almost feel the heat of his palm across my cheek.
If he were to find me now, he’d kill me. Humiliating him at the altar by leaving him there? Stealing his car? He’d lock me in the basement, torture me, spend days if not weeks breaking my spirit before he finally put a bullet in my head.
I’m scared.
Am I free? As long as I’m with Alek, maybe I’m not. Ivan will know where to find him, right?
My eyes dart around for an exit. There’s only a window and Alek steps in front of my vision, blocking my plan of escape. He squats down and slides those calloused fingers under my chin, making me look at him.
His shirt is still unbuttoned, showcasing the outline of his muscular pecs. I look away, knowing I shouldn’t even be thinking like that when I’m still in danger of Ivan. I need to get away. Staying here is too dangerous.
“I know you’re afraid,” Alek’s deep voice booms off the walls even though he’s speaking so softly, his accent wrapping around me like the warmth of hot water. “And I know it’s been a hell of a day fighting for your life. It’s okay to cry, Lyubimaya. You have been through something horrific.”
“What if he finds me here?” I whisper, brushing my wet cheek across the tulle covering my knees. “I’m not safe. I have to keep going. I have to keep running.”
He tilts his head, his eyes softening in understanding, and those mossy green eyes make it so easily to trust him.
“He doesn’t know about this safehouse, Mia. He won’t be able to find you here. He’ll try to find you. I know that much, but he won’t find you here, and if he did, I’d protect you. You have my word.”
“But he’s your son,” I counter argue.
He dips down, bringing his face closer. “I don’t care. He is no son of mine to do what he has done to you. I promise, I will protect you with my life. Come on, let’s get you in the shower. You’ll feel better.”
“I don’t think I can,” I cry, shaking my head and hiding my face between my knees. “I can’t stand. I’m so tired, Alek. My entire body is shaking. I have nothing left to give today.”
His fingers run through my hair, then ghost down my jaw. “That’s okay. You don’t need to do anything. I’ll take care of you.” Alek stands and holds out his hand. “Get to your feet. Don’t let him take another ounce from you, Mia. Don’t let him win anymore. He doesn’t deserve you.”
I sniffle, sliding my palm across his, those familiar sparks passing between us give me the jolt I need to stand.
“Good girl,” he praises.
I lick my lips, holding onto his hand as if it’s a lifeline. “Can you stay?” I dare to whisper, unable to meet his eyes. “I don’t want to be alone.”
His eyes round in surprise for a split second before he nods. “Of course. I’ll do whatever you need me to. I’ll sit right next to the shower, so you know I’m here.”
I give him my back so he can get me out of this damn dress. I don’t need to ask. He immediately works on the strings, loosening them as much as possible.
I take a deep breath in when it’s finally loose enough for me to inhale. He clears his throat, tugging the dress down my body, then offers his hand again for me to step out of the gown.
I’m left in nothing, but my matching bra and panty set. I don’t turn around. I’m too nervous.
His hand slips down my spine, unhooking my bra, and a chill sweeps over me, the kind that leaves my entire body tingling with anticipation.
“I’ll be right here when you’re done.” His hand disappears and I’m left feeling cold and alone.
I want him to shower with me, but I don’t know how to ask. It’s probably too much too soon.
“It’s okay. I’ll be here. I promise.” He clutches one hand onto my shoulder, his thumb rubbing back and forth across my shoulder blade.
“Can you… Can you shower with me?” My question is so low and quiet, I barely hear it myself.
“I… I don’t think that’s a good idea, Mia. I’ll be here. Right here. If you need me, let me know.”
I spin around, placing my hands on his chest, and he stares up at the ceiling, keeping his gaze away from me. It’s sweet.
“Please?”
He swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing before he tilts his head down, his eyes meeting mine.
“I can’t,” he rasps. “I’ll stay right outside the shower stall, okay? I’ll be right here. You won’t be alone.”
“Please, Alek?” I resort to begging, tears threatening to fall. All I know is I need him close to me. I’m not ready to be alone. “It won’t be sexual. I won’t… I won’t touch you.”