11. Mia
MIA
Hope is a dumb emotion that promises change even though there is no guarantee anything will change.
My mind is racing with a million possibilities. Does this mean I can be free? Does it mean I can marry Alek? My heart pound with the same chance that I can be free of Ivan.
“As in, she can marry me, correct? That’s where you’re getting at?” Alek dares to ask the question I was too afraid to ask aloud.
“Depends.” Nikolai pale blue eyes land on me. His icy stare has a slither of fear wrap around my spine. I know he wouldn’t hurt me, but his eyes reveal more than he lets on.
He’s a stone-cold murderer.
“Depends on?” I ask with frustration. I can’t stand it when people don’t finish their thoughts.
“If you want to marry Alek or not. Or if he wants to marry you. I’m sure we can dig into the family history and see if there are any other eligible Bykovs.
They will probably be in Russia. That is something the two of you will need to discuss when we have the answers.
I wouldn’t get ahead of yourself since we don’t have the contract in front of us.
I’ll need to go back and go into your office,” Nikolai explains, directing his statements to Alek.
“Where is the contract? I need to know the exact location.” Alek’s righthand man questions, setting his empty mug down on the coffee table.
A light patter of rain starts to fall. The trees sway in the slight breeze and thunder booms above us.
It feels like a warning, an omen, and I know that’s just my overthinking getting the best of me. No one understands my fear when it comes to Ivan. Where Alek will burn the world to save me, Ivan will destroy me in order to save his world.
He won’t stop until he has retribution, until he captures me or worse, kills me.
“There’s a copy on my laptop. It’s password protected but you know it. There’s a hardcopy in my vault. Again, only you know how to enter it. You need to be careful, Nikolai. Ivan will want the contract too, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he tried to change it to his liking or forge his name.”
“I’ll be in and out. I’ll be back tomorrow, but you need to decide when you’ll return to banish him and strip him of his last name like you said. Maybe it’s best if you come back with me.
“I’m not leaving Mia here alone.”
“I’ll be fine, Alek. It will only be for a day or two, right? No one knows I’m here. I’ll be quiet. I won’t leave the house. I’ll be okay.”
He shakes his head. “No. Absolutely not. I will deal with my son after we have that contract in hand.”
Nikolai nods and jumps to his feet. “Great. Since that’s settled, I’ll get back to the house.”
“You just got here,” Alek points out.
“If I’m gone for too long, it will raise questions. It is best if I leave now.” Nikolai turns to me and gives me a small bow. He takes my hand, kissing the top of it like Alek does.
I don’t get the same butterflies floating around in my stomach when Nikolai touches me.
“Thank you for the coffee. I’m glad you are brave. It takes courage to not only flee a dangerous situation, but a situation involving the last name Bykov. You made the right choice,” he tells me.
He digs in his pocket and hands Alek a small black phone. “A burner I got for you. Don’t answer it ever unless it is from me. I have my number saved as Sasha.”
“Sasha?” A mischievous twinkle in Alek’s eye shines.
“Da. If I put Nikki, it is too—” He snaps his finger as he thinks, trying to find the right word. “—I don’t know the word.”
“Obvious,” I finish his sentence for him.
“Da! Obvious. Wait for me to call, Sweetie,” he teases Alek, patting him on the face.
Alek shoves his arm away and Nikolai cackles on the way down the steps to his car.
The tires crunch along dirt driveway, finding every twig and pinecone in their way. Nikolai honks the horn, waving at us through the window and the red taillights fading in the distance.
A comfortable silence falls between Alek and me. Nothing is forced. We let the reality of our situation settle. The harsh truths, the difficulties, the hope, and the fear.
I hope war won’t be started over me. I don’t want that. As much as I despise Ivan, I don’t think I want him dead. I only want him to realize what kind of man he is so he changes and maybe he can have a better life.
That is wishful naive thinking, though. Ivan is who he is. No matter how many times he is at fault, he won’t ever admit he is in the wrong. He will die before he admits to any wrongdoing.
I can’t be with anyone like that. Accountability matters. Being responsible for your actions and words matters. Ivan will always believe he has the power of every god that people worship because of his last name and until he realizes that he isn’t the one with all the power, nothing will change.
I stare out at the beautiful view in front me, relaxed and at peace for the first time in my entire life. That is a sad realization. This is the most peace I’ve ever had minus the few minutes I was dead.
The rain falls onto the leaves, a gentle pattering against the branches as they sway.
Thunder growls across the sky, the vibrations tingling my palms. The river flowing down below sounds harsher, the hiss of water from down below can be heard from where I’m sitting, the storm strengthening the current.
“Would you?”
I blink away my trance and give my attention to Alek. “Would I what?”
“Marry me. If it was possible. Would you marry me?”
“Are you asking me to marry you or are you curious?”
A sly crooked smirk tilts his lips to the left. “A little bit of both.”
I stare into my coffee, watching the liquid in hopes it can tell me my future. “I’d marry you, Alek.” I lift my chin to look at his handsome face. I want nothing more than to run my finger through his silver hair and feel his body against mine.
I want him in ways I’m not allowed to.
And yet, I’m going to allow myself anyway.
“I’d marry you today. I would have married you yesterday or the day I was supposed to marry your son. I would have happily walked down that aisle with you.”
He doesn’t say anything. Alek sets his cup down and lunges at me, capturing my face with his hands. Before I can ask what’s wrong, his lips are on mine.
For a second, I’m stunned. I don’t kiss him in return. My entire body freezes. My mind halts to a stop. My eyes widen.
He pulls away, his hands still holding my face as if I’m a precious rare jewel he doesn’t want to lose.
“Fuck. I’m sorry, Mia. I—”
I cut him off with my own kiss, dropping my own mug onto the deck. It doesn’t break. Coffee drips between the wooden planks. The aroma morphing with the moment of his kiss—a memory I’ll never forget.
Every time I have coffee, I’ll think of this.
Him holding me. The rain. The thunder.
And coffee.
“Fuck,” he groans, sliding his hand through my hair to cup the back of my head. “Mia.” He dives his tongue between my lips, the tip flicking against mine, and our lips explore one another.
We move together as if we have kissed each other a thousand times. I gasp for breath, the desperation for more possessing us both. He growls down my throat, the firm give of his lips has me gasping down his throat, his tongue dominating my own.
Without saying a word, he picks me up, swinging me into his arms.
“Where are we going?” I ask between kisses, my mouth barely moving against his.
“Inside.” He kisses down my neck, sucking on the sensitive flesh under my ear.
Inside.
My heart skips a beat with excitement, nervousness, and a dash of fear. He knows I have no experience. I just want him it to be good for him.
“We stop anytime you say,” he reassures, another reminder he is nothing like his son.
I nod, loving I have the choice, yet knowing I don’t want it. Alek won’t do anything to hurt me, and I’ve wanted him for far too long thinking I’d never have any privacy.
I have everything I want now.
He opens the front door, kicking it shut behind him, the lock clicking into place.
The lights flicker when lightning cracks outside, the rain suddenly pouring harder in heavy sheets that beat against the windows.
His mouth is own mine, the moment our lips touch, thunder booms, a sound I’ll hear forever to be reminded of this moment too.
Alek climbs up the steps to the bedroom, tossing me on the mattress. I’m looking up at his impressive intimidating form. Every inch of him is lethal, his muscles flexed, his cock straining against his sweatpants, and my gaze roams all over his body, noting every scar that I want to lick.
Without a word spoken between us, he crawls over me, aligning his body with mine. Alek grips the hem of the shirt I’m wearing, tugging it up and over my head to reveal I’m bare underneath.
His breath hitches when I’m revealed to him. “Mia,” he growls, reaching down to squeeze his cock. “You had nothing on when Nikolai was here?”
I shake my head, running my hands down his chest. “He couldn’t see anything, and I wanted to risk you catching a glimpse.”
“Lyubimaya.” His mouth melds to mine, his lips comforting and warm like home. He skims his fingers up and down my sides causing my lungs to respond in unstable breaths.
He cups my breasts, his thumbs brushing over my sensitive nipples.
“So perfect,” he whispers against my heated skin as he travels down my throat.
His palm slides down my chest, stopping in the middle where he had to do CPR.
“So glad you came back to me.” He bends down, placing a kiss in the middle of my sternum. “I don’t know what I would have done. I would have mourned the life I could never have,” he admits, kissing down my abdomen.
There’s old yellow bruise against my ribcage that he gently brushes over. Questions pinch his face, anger forming in the lips I just kissed, ones that are soft and gentle are now hard and grim.
“I’m okay,” I say, running my hands through his hair.
“You will be for the rest of time. I promise,” he vows, kissing the hurt his son inflicted. He nips at my lower ribcage, and I moan, electric currents zipping through my body.
“Noted.” He peers up at me, those dark green eyes eager and pleased.
I bury my fingers in his hair, arching my back with every sensual glide of his mouth against my skin. His tongue dives into my navel, swirling, giving every inch of me a kiss.
He settles between my legs, his hands grabbing either thigh, spreading them so I’m on display. On instinct, I go to cover myself, knowing I can’t be enough for the kind of women he’s used to.
Alek takes my wrists in a semi-firm hold, pinning them against the bed. “Don’t ever hide yourself from me, Lyubimaya. You’re by far the prettiest woman I’ve ever had the pleasure seeing. You are perfect. There isn’t a part of you that doesn’t call to me. Let me see you.”
He presses a kiss to my left inner thigh, a loud moan releasing from me at the same time lightning strikes again. The electricity goes out, plummeting us in darkness, and all we have is the glow the lightning bolts bring.
Alek’s mouth kisses my clit before moving down, his tongue plunging into my virgin hole.
I release the hold on his hair, my arms stretching out on either side of me, my fingers digging into the blanket as he gives me a different kind of kiss.
“Alek! Oh, god, that feels so good,” I whine, not wanting him to stop.
This is what I’ve been missing? There’s no way I could have felt this way with Ivan. My first experiences were supposed to be with Alek. I don’t care what the contract says.
“I could live off the taste of you.” His fingers dig into my thighs, parting my legs even more.
Alek’s hand roams up my body, kneading my breasts and tweaking my nipples. I arch my back, the sensations all too much and not enough at the same time.
“Let me know when it’s too much.” His dark lashes frame wild eyes beaming with desire as he watches me while he eases one finger inside me.
I moan, fisting the blankets again. “Alek.”
“I love that it’s my name falling from your lips.”
“It’s always your name.”
“And it will never be anyone else’s. Will it?” He adds an additional finger, pausing to give me time to get used to the stretch.
If this hurts, I can’t imagine what his cock will feel like.
“No one else,” I agree without hesitation.
“Good girl,” he praises without a condescending tone like Ivan did. His eyes roll to the back of his head. “I can’t wait to feel you. So fucking tight. So fucking wet. Is this all for me?” He curls his fingers, increasing his speed.
His thumb presses against my clit, rubbing it in circle with the perfect amount of pressure.
My thighs shake from how good his touch feels.
He sucks my clit into his mouth while maintaining a fast speed with his fingers. Alek rolls the sensitive morsel between his teeth and my entire body trembles.
To my surprise, he adds another digit. He’s three fingers in, stretching me more than I’ve ever been stretched.
“Alek. It’s too much.” I grip his hair, tightening my fingers to the root.
He moans, the vibrations sinking into my pussy, and I shout at the same time thunder shakes the house.
He doesn’t stop. Alek latches onto my clit harder, sucking, tugging, and flicking it faster.
I cry out at the top of my lungs, my feet digging into the mattress to get away from the extreme pleasure. I want more. I want less. I want him to stop. I never want him to stop.
Everything clashes and nothing makes sense.
Yet everything is how it’s supposed to be because I’m with Alek.
And I never want to be away from him again.