15. Mia
MIA
I’m sitting in the chair, tears streaming down my face, wondering what I just saw. I’m in a trance. The man who has been so gentle with me, so considerate, just killed two men without an issue.
I clutch the sheets to my chest, staring at the screen where one man is lying in the dining room. Another screen shows the other in the basement.
“Mia, I know what you just saw is terrifying. I know that.” Alek’s voice shakes from behind me. “I had to. I had to do it. I had to protect you and I won’t apologize for that.”
This is who he is. The man he is with me is the man no one else gets to see or experience. He keeps the death and fear away from me the best he can, giving the real world the Bratva boss while I get the real him. The one he has to hide away because he’s soft, gentle, and caring.
“Alek.” I shoot from the chair, a fresh wave of tears dripping down my face.
He looks terrible.
With one hand clenching the sheets, I wrap the other around him, holding him close. He embraces, a long exhale escaping him.
“I thought seeing that would make me lose you.” He kisses the top of my head. “I never wanted you to see that side of me.”
“I don’t care. I don’t care what you have to do. I’m happy you can protect me. I only cared that you’re hurt.” I lean away, my cheeks still wet from the emotions. “You’re hurt. You’re bleeding!” I feather touch his bottom lip and he winces.
“This? This is nothing. I have been shot, stabbed, tortured, waterboarded, pretty much anything you can think of. It will take a lot to kill me, Lyubimaya. You don’t need to worry.
” He pushes the hair out of my face, his thumbs drying my tears.
“Do not cry for me.” He sucks his finger into his mouth, drinking my tears.
“I’ll always cry for you if it means I’m scared of losing you, Alek. I only just got you. I can’t have you taken away from me.”
His face hardens. The same man who I saw kill two men surfaces. His teeth clench. His jaw becomes more square. His brows come together in anger, not fear, and his grip on me tightens.
“There is nothing or no one that can keep me away from you,” his Russian accent more pronounced than usual.
“Ever. I promised you and I always keep my promises.” His hands move to my face, his knuckles battered and bloody.
He caresses me like I’m a delicate piece of fine art, afraid to drop me or I’ll shatter.
He looks at me the same way too like he admires me.
I love being at the end of his appreciative stare. I’ve never had anyone look at me with such raw emotion before.
“Are you okay?” he asks, his voice gruff and tired, his eyes shining with worry.
I nod fast, leaning my face against his palm, needing his touch more than ever right now.
“Words, Mia. Tell me.”
“I’m okay, Alek. I’m safe. You made sure of that.”
“You aren’t disgusted or afraid of me? I’d understand,” he says, his lips forming a tight line as they are pressed together. “You have seen plenty of violence from the Bykovs. I would understand why if you wanted nothing to do with us.”
“I want nothing to do with Ivan, but I want everything to do with you.”
He presses his forehead against mine, his hand sliding across my jaw to cup the back of my neck. He loves to touch me, loves to keep me close, and I can’t hide how he makes me smile even during a time like this.
“What is it?” He asks, his warm breath ghosting across my lips.
“Just thinking about how much you must love me,” I whisper. “It’s hard to fathom.”
“Loving you is the easiest thing I’ll ever do. Don’t forget that. If a day comes where something happens to me—”
“No. Stop. I don’t want you to finish that sentence. Nothing is going to happen to you. Nothing can happen to you. You can’t speak that way. You—”
“I’m making a point. One day, something will happen to me, Mia.
I am twenty years older than you. Realistically, I’m the one who will die first. And I want you to remember that there wasn’t a day that I didn’t love you, okay?
But we don’t have to worry about that now. We’ll have a long life together, Da?”
“Da.” I blush, replying to him in Russian.
He chuckles and takes my hands in his, holding them between us. “I will teach you Russian. You sound so cute when you speak it. I want more.” He walks backwards out of the panic room, and I follow, our hands still connected.
The floor is messy with clothes that fell from the hanger.
“What happened in here?”
“I needed the clothes out of my way to get to you. I wasn’t thinking clearly.” He scratches the back of his head while he stares at the mess on the floor. “I could have just slid them to the side, but it didn’t feel as fast and I needed to get to you.”
Love unlike anything I’ve ever known floods through me, a massive warm wave cloaking like warm clothes out of the dryer.
“Nikolai is on his way. Why don’t you shower? Go back to bed, Lyubimaya. I’ll join you when we are done.”
“Done with what?”
“Clean up.”
My breath hitches and my gaze drifts to the open bedroom door. Alek steps in front of me to block my vision, bringing my hand to his mouth to kiss.
“Mia, look at me.” He bends down to catch my still attention, locking eyes with me.
“You will not go downstairs. You will not walk outside of this room. You’ll stay here.
You’ll allow Nikolai and I to take care of the mess downstairs.
You will climb back into bed after the hot shower you take and fall asleep.
Okay? I don’t want you to worry about anything.
I don’t want you to see what’s down there. ”
“Okay,” I agree, not having a problem with following that order.
“You are to never see that side of the job. I know you saw what happened on the screens and I hate that. I can’t change that, but you will never see it up close.”
And I don’t want to. “I’m more than okay with that. I don’t want to see it.”
“Good girl. Come on. Let me draw you a bath. Relax. I’ll get you some wine too.”
I tilt my head in confusion. “You want me to take a nice, hot, relaxing bubble bath, drink wine, and watch TV while you move dead bodies?” I repeat the question in disbelief, needing to make sure I heard him correctly.
A mischievous glint sparkles in his eyes. “Da. You understand me perfectly.” The smile on his face is big and genuine, showing the crow’s feet on either side of his eyes.
“I’d love nothing more.” I twist lift and right, suddenly shy and a bit bashful.
Am I heartless for not caring about the two men downstairs? I understand they had lives, probably families, possibly even children are at home waiting for their fathers to come tuck them in, but that won’t ever happen again.
Not even that thought has guilt or sadness overcome me. I’m happy they are dead. It was either me or them and Alek made the decision to kill them. While they are dead, I know there are plenty more to take their place if Ivan wanted.
I don’t understand what he wants with me. I don’t understand why he’s going through all this trouble for me. He doesn’t want me. He doesn’t even like me, so I’m not understanding the possessiveness.
As long as I’m with Alek, everything will be okay.
“Mia. Mia, Beloved. Are you okay?”
I blink away my daze, realizing I’m sitting on the edge of the tub watching it fill.
When did we come in here?
“I’m fine.” I drop my hand in the giant claw foot tub, trailing my fingers across the bubbles building.
His fingers slip under my chin, forcing my head up. “Talk to me. What are you thinking about in that pretty head?”
His bloody knuckles capture my attention as he pours some type of fragrant oil in the water. I inhale and groan. Lavender.
“What’s his fascination with me? He doesn’t want me, Alek.
He never has. I mean, even when I thought Ivan and I were in love and happy, it was all an act for him.
He never loved me so why is he trying to capture me against my will?
Why is he sending people here knowing they will probably die? I’m nothing to him.”
He tugs me up and the sheets fall to the floor. He hums in delight, his sight never wavering from my body.
“Beautiful,” he praises, lifting our hands in the air and twirls me. “Slow, my love. Let me see you.”
My cheeks heat from the attention. I’ve never been put on display before. Not like this.
“Gorgeous.” He lifts and pulls at the same time, gesturing me to get into the tub.
I sink into the hot water, the bubbles covering my entire body except from the neck up. He still doesn’t answer my question. He busies himself by pulling out a chilled bottle of white wine.
I select a streaming service while he’s pouring my wine and put on my favorite medical drama that I’ve seen a thousand times. It’s a comfort show and I need comfort right now.
“Here you go, my love.” He places the wine glass on the shelf next to me and it’s filled to the brim.
My brows raise to my hairline. “Are you trying to knock me out?” I chuckle, sipping the rim so the wine doesn’t spill in the bath.
“Da. So you sleep through…. the dragging of the bodies.”
I snort, wine spewing everywhere. My nose burns. It slips down my throat wrong and I cough.
He takes the glass away from me. “Mia, are you okay?” He is by my side immediately, rubbing my back as I try to catch my breath.
“I’m fine.” I wave him away, finally able to breathe.
“You can’t say things like that! You were so nonchalant about it.
I mean, I’m in the bathtub with bubbles, wine, TV, and two men are dead downstairs.
You and Nikolai are going to dispose of bodies like it’s just another day of the week.
I’m being pampered and you’re hurt. You have blood on you! You’re bleeding!”
Alek tucks a piece of hair behind my ear, bypassing skimming his knuckles down my face since they are bleeding.
“That’s exactly how it should be. You are to be pampered while I get my hands dirty. That’s the life I want for you. For us.” He hands me the wine glass again, peppering a soft kiss on my lips.
His burner phone blares, cutting the moment short.
“Nikolai is here. Before I go, I need to know if you’re okay. I know what happened is traumatic for most people—”
“I’m okay. Violence doesn’t scare me, Alek. I’m okay. I promise.”
“So strong. I’ll be back in a few hours.” He turns away to head downstairs but I stop him.
“You never answered my question.”
He pauses in the doorway, tucks his hands in his pockets, and turns around. “My son is a lot like me, Mia. In many ways. He is brutal and smart, cunning, even. And like me, if something is promised to him, he wants it, and he will stop at nothing to get it.”
“But he doesn’t like me. I’m no use to him. He can have a thousand others.”
“Yes, but you’re valuable to him Mia. You know things about him, about the business, about the people we associate with,” he explains. “You are worth more to him now than ever before.”
“He hates me,” I try to say again, sounding exasperated.
I’ll never understand Ivan. People like me fail to understand people like him.
“I love you.”
Those three words make me realize it doesn’t matter how Ivan feels about me when the love of his father keeps me warm at night.
“I love you, too.”
“Da. Good. Enough of him.” He bends down and kisses me passionately, hand cupping the back of my head, his lips lingering longer than a few seconds. “I’ll be back soon. Do not come downstairs. Promise me.”
“I promise.” I echo his own words from earlier.
I’ll never break a promise when it comes to Alek. Ever.