19. Mia
MIA
It’s been a few weeks since learning about the contract and I’ve never been happier. Alek and I have been hiding away at the cabin, living the best life. It’s been quiet and peaceful.
I almost can’t believe this is my life. I know this can’t last. Peace never can, but we are soaking up every second we can.
“Have you heard from Nikolai?” I ask, lying on his chest as we cuddle on the swing that overlooks the woods.
“Oh, that’s good.” I blow out a breath, listening to the birds chirp from the trees. “Does he usually go that long without checking in?”
Alek shakes his head. “No, but this isn’t a usual situation. He said Ivan is on high alert. He didn’t seem to care about the bodies or the message I left for him. Nikolai said he is getting more security, and they’re going to start doing area sweeps to see if they can find you.”
“Us,” I correct him, lifting my head from his chest to look at him. “Not just me.”
He gives me a small smile, brushing his thumb across my lips. “Just you. He doesn’t care about me. He will kill me if it means getting to you.”
“Then we need a plan,” I say. “Don’t you think it’s a matter of time before he finds out you have this cabin? And what about Nikolai? Is he safe? Ivan has to know Nikolai knows where you are.”
Alek agrees with a slow nod. “Nikolai isn’t there with Ivan.
He is on the outside looking in, keeping tabs to feed me information.
Ivan doesn’t know where to find Nikolai but I do agree with you, it’s only a matter of time before he turns over every rock to find this cabin. We are on borrowed time.”
My heart pounds with fear and I squeeze my arms around his waist, needing something to support me. None of this feels real. This life, my entire life, feels like it belongs to someone else.
The only decision I’ve ever made for myself is leaving Ivan at that altar. I’d do it again in every life too if it means getting to be next to the man I’ve always wanted.
“What do we do? Where do we go?”
“Nikolai will be here soon. We’re going to go to Vegas tomorrow.”
I sit up further, bouncing with excitement. I’ve never been to Vegas. I’ve never been anywhere, really. I lived a sheltered life on the east coast and wasn’t allowed to go anywhere until I moved to the west coast to be with Ivan.
Even then, Ivan wouldn’t let me explore the city. Everywhere I went to was for him. My life never grew or blossomed. My experiences are few and far between and the thought of seeing a city that I’ve only seen in magazines or on TV has the excitement nearly bursting from my body.
He angles his head towards me and grins, a smile that lightens my soul from all the trauma I’ve endured my entire life. “Does that make you happy, Lyubimaya?”
I nod vigorously. “What are we going to do there? Are we going to be able to have fun?”
He lifts a dark eyebrow peppered with silver. “I’m going to show you all the fun, Maya. After we get married, of course, and after you buy your wedding dress, the one you really want. While you are shopping for your dress, I’ll get our wedding rings.”
I glance down, staring at my thumbs as they rub together. I want to ask something, but I’m nervous. He’s already doing so much for me. I don’t want to overstep.
“Mia, what is it? I can help, Da?” He lifts my chin with his index and thumb. “Talk to me.”
“Can…” I swallow, my cheeks becoming hot when a memory of Ivan slapping me across the face, silences me. “Never mind.” I smile, doing my best to forget all about my questions. “I’m so excited to go! What do I pack? I don’t have a lot to wear.” I frown, staring down his shirt that I’m wearing.
“Do not change the subject.” He gathers me in his arms, his body warm and safe, and I sink into him, the anxiety fading. Alek brushes his fingers through my short hair, kissing my temple. “Talk to me. What is it that you wanted to ask me?”
My cheeks flame with so much heat, I feel the warmth behind my eyes. I swallow, suddenly afraid and nervous.
“You can ask me anything, Mia,” he softens his voice. “There is no reason to be afraid.”
“You said you were going to get the rings?”
“Da. Your wedding band, my band, and engagement ring. A big diamond for my love.” He grins again, so wide and proud.
“Can… Can I buy your wedding band while I dress shop?” My voices hitches through my whispers.
His hand cups the back of my head and pulls me into a firm kiss. It lasts for a few seconds, a deep passionate quickie before he leans back. “I would love for you to buy my ring. I’m a size eleven.”
“I can?” I’m so shocked. My eyes widen. “Really?”
“Are you kidding? I’d love nothing more. Nikolai will bring you a credit card with your name on it that you can use anytime you want for anything you want. Okay?”
“My own credit card? What’s the limit? Maybe I can have an allowance like Ivan gave me?”
He cuts his dark green eyes that seem to create their own storms when I say that. His gaze narrows at me. Alek rolls his head across his shoulders, taking a deep breath.
He’s agitated.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you mad. Forget I asked. I’m sorry.” I stand from the swing and wipe the tear that fell.
I’m pathetic and weak. I’m crying over fear when I know he won’t hurt me.
Alek grabs me by the wrist and tugs me to his lap. His fingers brush my tears away and I don’t have the heart to even look at him after the way I acted.
“I am not mad at you, My Love. You could never do anything that would leave me upset. I’m sorry you’re so afraid of asking simple questions because of my son.
He didn’t treat you the way you deserved.
The credit card has no limit, Mia. You aren’t going to get an allowance.
You’re allowed to spend whatever you want, however you want, when you want.
I just ask you’ll be okay with a security guard at your side.
An allowance,” he curses, then a string of words in Russian blend together that I can’t understand. ”
“An allowance for my wife?” He continues. “My wife will get whatever she wants. It only makes me want to kill Ivan more. I can’t believe he gave you an allowance. I raised a fucking monster,” he practically spits.
His fingers curl against his thighs, his knuckles turning white.
I slip my hand over his and he immediately relaxes, even blowing out a breath as soon as my touch happens upon his skin. It’s as if I regulate him somehow, bringing him back down from madness.
I’ve never had that kind of power before.
“It’s okay,” I say, keeping my voice soft and level with an edge of sweetness and understanding. “I’m not angry.”
“Why?” He snaps, whipping his head in my direction.
“Why aren’t you furious at him? At me? I don’t understand, Mia.
He is my son. That means he is the way he is because of me.
How many other women have been hurt and I don’t know?
” He loses momentum, his anger losing steam as he speaks.
“I don’t know how I could have missed it.
” His thumb brushes across my jaw, the callouses on his fingers slightly scratch me with ever pass.
“It isn’t your fault. You are nothing like him.
If you were, I wouldn’t be here, Alek. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near you.
” I scoot closer, my knees hitting his thigh, and I squeeze his hands with mine.
“You’ve been nothing but kind and gentle with me any and every time you see me.
You were always there even when Ivan wasn’t.
Even at my own bridal shower he couldn’t be bothered to show up. ”
“I know about the affairs” I keep going.
“The women. I knew he never really wanted me, but I had no idea there was a way out. I thought this was my life and I accepted my responsibility as the Roswell daughter. I know how arranged marriages work. I had hoped to get lucky and hope he loved me and…” I exhale with a shake of my head. “And maybe at one point he did.”
“Love doesn’t cause harm. I don’t believe Ivan is capable of love. I don’t know what happened or where it went wrong, but I know you were a good father. Sometimes, the apple is rotten, Alek, no matter how much you water the roots.”
“I just hate that his rottenness touched you. You’re too beautiful to be shadowed by such evil,” he says, defeated. “I promise to never hurt you like that, Mia. I swear on my life, you’ll always be safe with me.”
“I know.” I crawl into his lap and press my head against his shoulder. “I’m the safest I’ve ever been.”
We fall into a comfortable silence. The chains groan holding us up as Alek swings us by using his feet, pressing them against the ground.
“You know you’re mine, right?”
“I know that,” I smile, burying my smile into his chest.
I love hearing it.
“No.” He lifts my head by squeezing the back of my neck and pulling my head up for our gazes to me.
“You’re mine, Mia. Mine. You belong to me just as I belong to you.
I am not saving you from Ivan just to be nice or because I pity you.
I don’t pity you. I am… astounded by you.
You are brave. You are strong. I love you.
You are mine because I need you to be mine.
The thought of you with anyone else has me become murderous. ”
“I love you too—”
“No. You don’t understand. You can never be with anyone else again. You are mine. Forever. This isn’t a way to save you—that’s just a perk.”
“I never want to be with anyone else. Ever. Are you worried about that?” My stomach turns at the thought of another man’s touch on me.
“You are so beautiful.” His finger continues to trace the edges of my face.
“You deserve to know what your options are. You’ve never dated.
You’re twenty years younger than me. I’m too old for you, I know that, but I don’t want to let you go.
I fear that if you did want to explore…” he growls. “Other options, I might kill them.”