Chapter Nineteen
Arianna
The sight of Cormac falling to the ground, the blood seeping out of his shoulder, and my dad lying on the ground with a gun in his hand, sends a shockwave through me. If I was in doubt about my feelings for Cormac, I know now how I feel.
I don’t want to lose him.
Not when we were just getting somewhere.
“What have you done?” I gasp, running to Cormac’s side. My dad gets to his feet and stumbles back.
“I… I was trying to save you,” he mumbles. “I needed to save you.”
“I didn’t ask you to,” I snap. “Cormac? Cormac?” I tap his cheek but he doesn’t open his eyes. He is breathing though. “Call 9-1-1.” When my dad doesn’t do anything, I look up at him. “Dad!”
“I shot him. I’ll get arrested. I… I never wanted this life for you. For me. I wanted out.”
“I’m calling then.” I grab my phone and dial 9-1-1. “Dad, leave. Please. For your own safety. Just go. Go to Uncle Marco. He can help.”
“I can’t leave you. This is our chance, Arianna. For you to be free of him. Of this nightmare.”
“I don’t want to be free!” I scream at him. “I care for Cormac. I know you don’t want to hear it but I do. I care for him, Dad. And you just shot him.”
“He punched me.” He motions at his bruised cheek. “He’s not a good man.”
“Because you shot him! I was stifled all my life because of you and Mom. I was treated like a child but with Cormac, I get the chance to be a woman. I get the chance to live my own life.”
“He kidnapped you. You’re not thinking clearly.”
“I know he did and I know I was forced to marry him. I wasn’t happy but I have found happiness with him. I don’t want him dead. I don’t want you dead. I never asked for this. Just go. Please. I need to save him.”
A look of pure shock and panic crosses his face. “I… I didn’t know.”
“I know you didn’t know. I didn’t tell you. Because I was figuring it out myself. But I don’t want to lose him, Dad. I don’t. Despite everything, I don’t. So just go. For your own safety. Patrick will not be happy about this. Cormac did not hurt me. He kept to his word. So just go.”
My dad stares down at the gun in his hand for a long moment before running away. I finally call for an ambulance and wait with Cormac, hoping and praying that he’ll be all right.
I ride in the back of the ambulance with him and the paramedic. The only thing I can focus on is that Cormac is all right. He’ll survive this.
Once we reach the hospital, he’s wheeled away into a room that I’m not allowed to follow. I find a chair to slump into and wait.
Marco arrives sometime after. “My brother told me what happened.”
“Did you tell Patrick? I don’t want my dad to die.”
“Of course not. I didn’t tell Patrick anything, but he’ll have questions. We’ll need to come up with a story so your dad isn’t killed. How did this happen? What did Cormac do?”
A flare of anger hits me. “Cormac didn’t do anything. He never hurt me. I don’t know why Dad went after him.”
“Because he was itching to kill Cormac for a while. It didn’t matter what Cormac was going to do or didn’t do. Your dad would have done something eventually.”
“I told him that I was ok. That Cormac and I were making it work. It’s the truth. Cormac never really hurt me.”
“He kidnapped you.”
“But he never really hurt me,” I repeat. “He’s not evil. He was caught in his anger… for you. But I know he felt bad for what he did to me. He apologized so many times. Cormac and I were going to make it work. We let the past go. Why can’t you and my Dad?”
Marco looks stunned. “I… I didn’t know any of this.”
“I didn’t tell you or my dad but you two don’t need to know everything.
I’m not a child anymore. I want to be with him, Uncle Marco.
I’m… happy with him.” I know the moment I say it, it’s all true.
The excitement I feel whenever Cormac is around.
The pleasure he’s shown me. The fact he never judged me when I told him about the pills I once took.
Not like my parents, who wanted to sheltered me from everything.
Cormac brought me into this dark world and while I used to hate him, I know now that I… love him.
We’re bound forever. I choose to love him instead of hating him. I choose to be happy with him. I choose to live my life for once instead of being sheltered.
“I love him,” I say to Marco, who’s eyes widen.
“You love him? How?”
“Because Cormac isn’t a bad man. He made a bad choice but I can tell he’s not a bad man. He let his anger for you get the best of him but he was trying to let it go. I know he was.”
Marco sighs, running his hand down his face. “I… I have to tell you something. I made Cormac kill his friend Josh.”
“What?”
“To prove his loyalty to me. Cormac was pissed. I could tell he didn’t want to but he did it.
I couldn’t figure out why. I just assumed he’d fight me until the end.
But… he killed his friend and I know now that it was for you.
I think he was trying to let the past go with us.
We both agreed to never go at each other again if he did what I asked.
And he did what I asked. He was trying. I see that now. ”
A shaky exhale escapes me. “I don’t know what to make of that. You asked my husband to kill someone.”
“I know Josh is the one who hurt you. His friend Sam told me everything. Are you really upset by his death?”
“No,” I admit. “Maybe I should be though.”
A small smile crosses his face. “You’re a part of the mafia now, Arianna.
I know it’s a life your father never wanted for you.
But you’ll always have me in it. And I’ll make sure your father is kept safe.
Patrick will never find out how Cormac was shot.
And if Cormac makes it through this, hopefully he won’t go after your dad. ”
“You really think he will?” I clutch at my chest, feeling an intense tightness there.
“I can’t answer that for you. But if he truly cares for you, then he won’t hurt you like that. He’ll let his anger go. But I’m not sure how much Cormac can.”
I have no response because I truly don’t know how Cormac will act if he survives his gunshot wound. Will my dad’s life be in danger? Or will Cormac and I find a way to make it through this?
My mom eventually arrives sometime later. Cormac is still in surgery.
“Mom?” I ask. Marco sits beside me in the waiting room. It’s nice to know him better. To have this side of my family in my life.
“Are you all right? Your father told me everything.” She pulls me into a hug and I squeeze her back with all my might. She’s still my mom after all.
“I’m fine. Did Dad tell you what I said? About Cormac?”
She hesitates as she lets me go. “He did. That you care for him. I told your father to not do this. To not get himself killed.”
“I love him, Mom.”
“Of course you love your father. He was only protecting you but he was being stupid.”
“Not Dad. Cormac. I love him.”
Her eyes widen. “You… what?”
“I know this isn’t the life you and Dad wanted for me but I’m in it now.
And I want to be with Cormac. I want to let the past go.
I don’t want anyone to die. So if Cormac makes it through this, you need to make sure Dad never comes for him again because I don’t want to lose either one of them. Make that happen, Mom. Please.”
“I’ve never heard you speak like this before.”
“That’s because I’ve grown ever since… Well, you know. I’m not a little child anymore. I don’t want you and Dad treating me like one. I don’t need you to watch my every move. I don’t want to hurt myself any more. I never did. I… I’m not sure I want to continue dancing.”
“But you love dance.”
“It was stifling me. It was controlling my life. Yes, I love it and I’ll always love it. But I have a new future now. I want to explore other things. Other hobbies. Other passions. I want to see what’s out there in the world and I believe I can do that with Cormac.”
“He kidnapped you, Arianna. How can you think he’ll give you freedom?”
“Because he hasn’t controlled my life since we married.
I’m allowed to go wherever I want. He’s never stopped it.
He’s no longer my captor. And I know you hate him.
You have your reasons and I can’t stop you from feeling what you feel.
But you have to take me at my word. I love him.
And I want to be with him. You and Dad should be comforted by that.
Isn’t that all that matters? That I’m happy? ”
Her eyes well up with tears as she cups my face. “That is what I want. But it will take time to come to terms with it.”
“I know. But this is my life now. I’m a part of the mafia whether any one of us wanted this or not. Cormac is my husband. I’m choosing to be happy with him. I’m choosing to let the past go.”
A doctor approaches us. “Mrs. Sullivan?”
It truly dawns on me in this moment that Sullivan is my new last name. It feels right. Arianna Sullivan. “Yes?”
“Your husband is out of surgery. You can go see him.”
I rush to the room Cormac is in to find him awake in the bed. “Cormac?”
His eyes flick to mine and a look of relief fills them. “Arianna?” He removes the breathing tubes from his nose. “You’re here?”
“Of course I’m here. You’re my husband.”
“I just thought… if I were dead, you’d be free of me.”
“But I don’t want to be free of you. That’s the truth.” I take his hand in mine and he squeezes it back.
“Really? After everything…”
“Stop. I’m done with the past. I want us to focus on our future. I know you’re not a bad man, Cormac. I know it.”
And right before my very eyes, Cormac breaks down into tears. I’ve never seen this vulnerable display of emotion from him but I realize it’s exactly what I needed. It’s the last barrier between us, falling away.
“You’re ok,” I whisper into his ear. “You don’t have to be so angry anymore. Promise me you won’t go after my dad. He was just looking out for me.”
He wipes his tears away. “I won’t. I promise. I know it would hurt you and I never want to hurt you again.”
“You never truly hurt me. I forgave you, Cormac. Let’s move on. No more death. No more anger. Let’s just choose to be happy together.”
“I want that. I really, really want that.” He cups the back of my head and brings my face down to his. I can taste the salt from his tears on his lips.
I kiss Cormac back with everything inside of me.