Ten
The journey home the next morning felt serene, but considering we had slept together, I didn’t feel awkward at all. Jaxon had been up a good hour before me and met with the tyre people who had repaired the car.
On the drive, we spoke about my father and how I was intending to tackle the subject with my mother. She would find the discussion painful, but I couldn’t just leave things; especially now my father had contacted me.
As Jaxon pulled the vehicle in through the gates of the house and parked up, I undid my seat belt and turned to face him. Remaining in his seat; he didn’t scramble to get away. He just sat there, larger than life in the shirt I had slept in, without his bow tie and his hair mussed from sleep. Hair that I had tangled my fingers through as he’d moved inside me.
My eyes roamed over his profile; one which was model-perfect in my opinion. I had given this boy my virginity and I didn’t regret it, but my feelings were now much deeper and I knew I needed to keep them to myself for now. Jaxon had promised me nothing after all and I had given myself to him anyway.
The silence stretched between us as Jaxon still gripped the steering wheel and continued to stare out of the front windshield. From what I could see of his face, his expression was thoughtful.
“Can I ask you a question?” I said, my voice sounding calmer than I felt.
“Of course, anything,” he replied, glancing at me briefly with a slight smile. He must have been able to feel the penetration of my stare.
“Is sex usually like that?” What had happened between us had felt so right and Jaxon had also been caught up in the moment. I wasn’t experienced but I wasn’t stupid either. Nothing had been fake about what had happened. To me, it had been one of those ‘meant to be’ moments. However, I’d rather experience first-hand torture than to openly speak about what I’d muttered in the thick of things .
Had what happened between us been special to him too? Maybe things had changed for him and he wouldn’t throw my feelings back in my face? I swallowed nervously as I awaited his reply; burying the thought.
Jaxon took a deep breath before turning in his seat and taking off his belt. “No,” he replied.
I pulled a face. “In a good way or a bad way?” I wasn’t fishing, I just needed to know if the level of passion we had shared during sex was just what every woman felt when she was with a man. I had read that females were more emotional during sex than males.
His smile deepened as his intense gaze ran over my features. “In a good way Wynter. Very good. Sensational I would say.” He then paused before saying. “Now get out of my car.” His last words were delivered with a teasing edge to them. As if he was shutting the conversation down on purpose so I didn’t get any ideas. That love-hate thing clearly still burned between us.
I grinned and turned to exit the vehicle but his next words snatched me back. “Oh, and Wynter?”
Even his voice aroused me. Twisting toward him, I answered, “Yes?”
His eyes were locked on mine. “Run yourself a deep bath. You’ll probably be sore today.” He spoke those words so softly and with a genuine sense of care. I couldn’t ignore how my body responded to that advice and he was right, I did feel tender down there.
Nodding my head, I replied. “Yes. I will. Thank you.” I then climbed down from the car and closed the door with a soft thud.
Our eyes met through the glass of the window and we shared the sweetest of moments. The connection felt natural, unforced and most of all special and I felt a huge surge of contentment.
Jaxon stared at me with such an intense look of longing, and I knew that feeling would be reflected in my eyes; along with another deeper emotion; that I part suspected was love. For me anyway .
I felt a slight twinge of sadness, my stepbrother may want me physically, but that was something else entirely. The fog had now been lifted on my true feelings for this boy and I was relieved. Denial hadn’t been working that well for me anyway.
As far as I was concerned, my stepbrother had my heart and although it hadn’t happened overnight, I had fallen in love with him. The boy of my nightmares, the man of my dreams.
*****
As I sat in the bath, my mind worked sluggishly through those fractured memories I had of what my father had done to my mother.
In my sleep, I had seen her battered face, that cracked wrist and the damage he had inflicted in front of his nine-year-old child. If my Uncle Adrian hadn’t turned up, would my father have taken me without my mother’s consent?
That next day, I trapped my mother in the kitchen. The discussion as you can imagine was not an easy one. I knew the timing wasn’t right. Daisy was still in mourning for the baby, she’d never conceived, but I had to say something. Especially considering the text from my father remained unanswered. Like a huge reminder of what he had done.
The part of my memory I had repressed for all those years was now wide open.
Daisy was both horrified and disappointed that I had remembered and she explained that she wanted to bury the past so she didn’t have to relive it. I got that, of course, I did, but by burying her head in the sand she had surely only postponed any type of closure. I certainly had none.
My mother’s face dropped when I told her about the message I’d received and a true sense of panic had followed. I must say I had never seen her in such a state and partly regretted bringing the subject up at all .
Marcus came into the kitchen, sensing her distress and was hugely supportive; immediately taking over, everything he said making sense.
At that point, both my mother and Marcus told me that there had been a restraining order filed against my father by my mother years ago. That was the reason I had been sent away from his office that day as it had been illegal for him to see me. As my dad was a lawyer, any type of breach of that court order could have resulted in him not being able to practice anymore.
So why now, out of the blue had he contacted me? Marcus explained that he was aware that the order only covered the first three years and therefore it would no longer be in place. Due to Marcus being in the picture and not having heard anything for such a long time from Jenson, Daisy hadn’t felt the need to resubmit a request. Everyone had believed that it was now indeed over and he had moved on with his own life.
It didn’t make any difference to me, as I had decided that I wanted nothing to do with him and when I replied, I would ensure he understood why.
The first message I drafted was deleted around three times as it was too cryptic, almost like something you’d see in a dodgy teen horror movie.
I know what you did.
WTF? Eventually, I went with, please do not make any contact with me. Stay away from me and my mother. I know what you did to her and I want nothing to do with you now. Wynter.
I waited around ten minutes but I received nothing back. For some strange reason, the silence felt worse, but after several days of checking my phone for his reply, I finally felt reassured that it was over. All ties were severed.
At that point, I didn’t realise how wrong I was.
**** *
I rattled around in the house for the rest of that week. Jaxon was working at the base and had fallen quiet again. I managed to stop myself from texting him like a proper loser.
Finally, Dominic came back from Paris and called in on his way home. I knew straight away that something was wrong. Firstly, he patted me on the head like a dog which was odd and when his lips met mine, it felt like how I’d imagined a kiss with a cold wet flannel would feel. His body language screamed that he felt awkward. Considering I’d slept with someone else, I too should have felt odd, but I didn’t. I had to try and push what happened with Jaxon out of my head as there was a chance it would never happen again. I decided that once Dominic was home and settled, I would end it.
What made it worse was that Jaxon came into the kitchen just as Dominic was pulling away after our kiss. I was surprised as he wasn’t due back from the base until the following day.
Our eyes met briefly and he grunted a reply to Dominic’s nod of greeting. Jaxon’s arm muscles flexed as he grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl and bit into it; looking back and forth between us with an unimpressed expression.
“I suggest you go to your room Wynter. Watching you and your boyfriend necking in the kitchen is hardly good for anyone’s appetite.” As usual, Jaxon had gotten the wrong end of the stick. He was so cold again and I hated that.
I buried his bullshit as I needed to establish what the hell was going on with Dominic. As I said, after sleeping with Jaxon, I’d already decided to end things, but I had a feeling Dominic was going to beat me to it.
I leaned back against the kitchen counter and waited for him to spill whatever beans he had been saving up.
After the usual niceties of how was your trip et cetera, Dominic confessed and explained that he’d met someone in Paris. I didn’t raise the subject of the photographer who was making a nuisance of himself with the models. At that point, I knew it was him. I remembered how he badgered me for months before I’d finally agreed to go on a date with him. Dominic just didn’t like the word no.
The model's name was Mia and she lived in Kings Lynn. I couldn’t blame him really as he’d no doubt been starved of affection due to me not putting out before he went away.
Once Dominic had left, I felt a sense of loneliness and Jaxon made this worse when I bumped into him on the stairs. He was so distant and spoke to me without even looking at me. “We’re having a party at the weekend. Loverboy can come if you want.” I hated that he suggested I bring Dominic without any trace of remorse. Like he didn’t give a shit.
I explained that we were no longer together which stopped him in his tracks and forced him to turn and look down at me. His face was a blank page.
“I hope you didn’t end things with him because of me,” Jaxon stated in an unfriendly voice. Talk about twisting the knife. Hadn’t what we’d shared meant anything to him?
I lifted my chin. “No. It had nothing to do with you,” I muttered. The words fell between us like barbed wire.
“Good. I’m glad we’re on the same page,” Jaxon said as he turned away. I felt like my heart had been ripped out and was left there on the stairs to bleed out.
Confused didn’t even touch the sides.
I rolled his words around my thoughts. What fucking page was that?
*****
After the discussion with my mother about my father, Daisy had been at an all-time low. I didn’t blame myself for conjuring up bad memories as things had needed to be said.
To soothe the blow, Marcus made a snap decision to take her away again. He owned a holiday cottage in Sheringham by the sea and they had started to spend quite a bit of time there. Daisy said she’d be gone from Friday until Monday, which was probably why the boys had decided to throw a party.
It didn’t overly bother me that I appeared to be seeing less of my mother as it provided me with more opportunity to speak with Jaxon without disapproving looks. Not that I had the chance over the last couple of days, we were like ships in the night. I felt like he was avoiding me.
At the end of the day, my promise about nothing going on between me and my stepbrother was now a lie. Did I feel guilty about that? No. Didn’t they say a woman’s heart is a deep ocean or some shit like that? After the Dominic incident and Jaxon’s last words, mine felt like it had been mauled by a dog. His comment about us being on the same page made no sense to me at all and I hadn’t had the chance to ask him to clarify what he’d meant.
Mum and Marcus left on Friday night after dinner and I spent most of that evening in my room with my nose in a book.
On the Saturday, Jaxon’s music woke me. I swear it was the loudest he had ever had it. Had he moved his speakers out into the hallway, it wouldn’t have surprised me. As usual angry rock music.
When I went down for a late breakfast, I bumped into Chris in the kitchen and he explained that the party would be held in the house due to the weather forecasting rain. Without appearing overly interested, I asked where Jaxon was and Chris said he’d left for the cash and carry to fetch the booze.
I felt like shit, I’m not going to lie. Was Jaxon avoiding me now that we’d slept together? It certainly felt that way but I refused to be the one to make the first move.
At the end of the day, if he wanted to play it that way, I too could pretend nothing had happened between us.
On Saturday afternoon, I did what any other spurned female would do, I spent hours choosing my sluttiest outfit to wear to the party. I also invited Melody as I needed backup, strength in numbers and all that. Most people there would be Jaxon’s mates or colleagues, so I needed someone to talk to. I wondered if the McKenna boys would be there and I texted Amy, but she knew nothing about the party. I invited her of course but she politely declined. Drat, it would have been helpful to have two wingmen, especially one like Amy who took no shit from anyone.
When Melody arrived, we both got ready in my room. I was itching to tell her I’d had sex with Jaxon but the timing felt off.
As we did our make-up and changed, I could hear people arriving and music had been blaring from downstairs for at least the past hour.
Melody wore a fitted black dress and I wore a short denim skirt and a black slouch off-the-shoulder jumper. We both wore toe-post sandals and had painted our toes red. Melody kept asking me questions about Chris and it started to annoy me, the thought of someone else having a love life made me green with envy. Not nice of me I know but what can I say in my defence? I was going through a torturous phase of rejection which had affected my usual pleasant demeanour.
We eventually went downstairs and into the kitchen. It was rammed full of strangers but thankfully I did see a few people I knew. We mingled well and greeted the guests; the boys outweighed the girls thank goodness. I was relieved by that as if I saw Jaxon flirting with someone else, I’d probably burst into tears. Thankfully that skank Lexi with her magic mouth was nowhere to be seen.
I felt so insecure after Jaxon’s silent treatment and didn’t know where I stood. Was I his arch-nemesis stepsister again or had we moved forward into something else? I dismissed that annoying pang of longing.
Melody and I grabbed a couple of beers from the kitchen and went into the main room. Again, there were people dotted everywhere and the connecting doors were open which made the living room into once huge space. The music bled in through an assortment of voices; laughing, shouting and general chit-chat.
A fine film of smoke was in the air, suggesting someone was either vaping or smoking. I was surprised Chris had allowed it, as he hated both habits with a vengeance.
As Melody and I stood there, I witnessed several lingering looks from a group of boys and I started to get my confidence back.
As that first hour flew by, we chatted to a couple of groups of guys and they were all very accommodating. Topping up our drinks each time we’d finished and showering us with compliments. It felt nice and the attention had started to repair that knock to my self-esteem.
Just as I was ready to let my hair down and ask Melody to dance, Chris appeared and stole her off me, leaving me standing there by myself like a proper tool. He whisked her away and she mouthed the word sorry. Sorry, my arse!
I tapped my fingers against the red solo cup I was drinking from, suddenly feeling invisible but still wanting to hide. I was just about to go back to the kitchen to find the couple I had been speaking to earlier when I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder. I turned, my face lighting up, but it wasn’t Jaxon. My heart sank; it was a friend of his from the base. Disappointment soured my stomach.
While I was taking a discreet look around the room he said, “I didn’t know you were here. What have you been up to?” the guy questioned with a bright smile.
“I’ve been trying to blend,” I replied dryly.
“You couldn’t blend if you tried beautiful,” he complimented.
He must have realised his comment was a bit corny as he hastily added. “I’m hoping you remember me, Wynter, it’s Christian? Lieutenant Jacobs. We met at the base,” he coughed, jutting his chin out. He had two shot glasses in his hand and he gave me one, taking the empty cup from me. “You need a top-up.”
We were quite near one of the speakers and so he wasn’t that easy to hear .
I took the shot glass from him and gestured toward the other side of the room where the dining table had been pushed into the corner to make more floor space. The sofas were full of guests and this was the only area which wasn’t full of bodies.
“Fuck me, you’re even prettier than I remembered. Why the hell were you standing on your own.” Christian said, his eyes roaming over my legs. Blatantly a leg man then. I wasn’t tall of course but as I was so slender, my legs had always looked longer than they were.
“My friend bailed on me and thank you. You’re not so bad on the eye yourself,” I replied, watching him through my lashes. God, it was nice to have some attention. Especially after the radio silence from Jaxon and what Dominic had done to me. The cheating swine. I pushed away my inner hypocrite.
“I was going to ask your brother for your number, but he’s been in a foul mood over the last couple of days.” I bit my lip so I didn’t correct him about the fact that Jaxon was so not my brother.
I glanced around the room, but he wasn’t there. Part of me was worried that he’d decided to give Lexi Grafton a sly visit. She gave great head supposedly.
Batting off the painful and useless thought I refocused my attention on Christian; would Jaxon have given this boy my number after what had happened between us? The thought put a metallic taste in my mouth.
“Nice toes,” Christian complimented with a nod and my grin widened. He really was running out of words to successfully hit on me if he was admiring my feet. Or maybe he was a toe sucker. Totally gross.
I placed the full shot glass on the table behind me, not quite ready for it yet.
“When isn’t Jaxon in a foul mood,” I suddenly muttered, wondering how he would reply.
“He’s not so bad. Although he’s less fun than he used to be. Always looks like he’s got the weight of the world on his shoulders. He was one of the best pranksters on the base when I first enlisted. ”
“Really?” I couldn’t imagine Jaxon making jokes. I’d seen so little of his sense of humour.
“It’s a shame. I like a few laughs,” I informed him.
Christian necked his shot and then placed it on the table next to mine before leaning into me, his breath fanning my throat. “Look no further. We could have some fun together you and I.” The eyebrow wiggle broke the ice further and I managed to loosen up.
We spoke for a bit longer and I started to enjoy his company but I kept inching a sly look around the room for Jaxon. Christian was quite touchy-feely, tapping my arm at the punchline of each of his crap jokes and playing with my necklace; a birthday present from my mother one year. It was a silver chain with my name on it. She bought it after I explained how much I liked Carrie’s necklace from Sex and the City; a show we both watched.
Christian lingered a bit too close for comfort until the next words, forced him to move back.
“I don’t fancy your chances with Wynter, Jacobs. She lives up to her name,” Jaxon suddenly put in from beside me. My back stiffened and I hooked my chin towards him with a puzzled expression. He came quite close to me, invading my personal space. He looked fucking sensational in a cream jumper and faded jeans and his scent teased my senses.
“In what way?” Christian questioned, shooting a wary look between Jaxon and me. My stepbrother was staring at me and he wasn’t happy. His whole stance suggested he was working himself up for a fight. My heart plummeted to my feet. So, my instincts were correct, we were back to bickering step-siblings again.
Jaxon clicked his neck from side to side before he replied, “She’s like winter. Freeze your dick right off.” That penetrative stare stayed with me and I felt my face heat. Did he mean he didn’t think I was any good in bed, that I was cold? Had he lied to me in the car? His cold contempt sliced through me .
My mouth dropped open. “What?” I blurted. I felt a cocktail of emotions; shock, disbelief, bewilderment, anger. The latter feeling was starting to surge in front of the rest.
Jaxon’s nostrils flared as he glared down at me.
“Is he always such a dickhead?” Christian interrupted courageously. Talk about taking your life in your hands.
Sniffing, I replied with more calm than I was feeling. “Yep, dickhead. Tosser. Take your pick.”
Jaxon snorted rudely beside us.
After a narrowed glance between us both, Christian blew out a breath and shrugged his shoulders. “Sounds like you guys have some shit to sort out. I’ll be at the bar.” As he went to walk away, Jaxon commented under his breath.
“And you can stay there.” I should have been pissed off by his overbearingness but in all truth, it turned me the fuck on. I hadn’t liked being ignored, and I was unprepared for the fierce hunger that clawed like a wild beast inside me.
I watched in silence, chewing the inside of my lip as Christian turned back towards us briefly and raised his hands in mock surrender. He shot me a warm smile before his eyes switched to Jaxon. “Apologies. I didn’t know I was pissing on someone else territory.”
Jaxon didn’t take his eyes off me as he said, “Well, now you know.” That was enough to send Christian scurrying away with a chuckle, his shoulders shaking as he went. What the actual hell? Talk about mixed signals. Jaxon was like Jekyll and Hyde.
I exhaled noisily and crossed my arms over my chest as Jaxon ran his eyes up and down my body. After he’d looked his fill, they finally came to rest back on my face.
“I’m confused. What the hell just happened?” I blurted with a nod towards Christian. He was now at Marcus’s bar talking to one of the other guys .
I wasn’t stupid, I knew the drill. It appeared Jaxon didn’t want me but he didn’t want anyone else to have me either. Fucking textbook shit. Why else would he have so outrageously cock-blocked his friend.
I kept my eye contact steady. Irritation was etched into Jaxon’s face as he bulldozed over my question, his voice gruff. “So, lover boy dumped you for some tart in France and now it’s rebound time is that it? Fuck you move on fast.”
I almost flinched at those words. “I don’t follow you,” I stuttered.
“You’re a shit liar,” he purred in a gravelly voice.
I watched with confusion, causing my temples to throb as Jaxon scrunched his eyes up, and raised his head toward the ceiling. It was almost like he was trying to control his temper. He then shot me a blistering glare, his jaw ticking. “What do you think you’re doing?”
I uncrossed my arms and dashed a hand over my hair. “Talking,” I informed him in a matter-of-fact tone. He didn’t even attempt to hide it, Jaxon was jealous, and whilst this would usually have given me pleasure, right then the main emotions I felt were confusion and frustration.
His breath hissed through his teeth. He was angry; all bruised masculine pride and why? Because I was talking to one of his army buddies when he’d ignored me for the best part of three days. “Just talking. Yes,” I reconfirmed, my eyes roaming over his face, looking for a sign of understanding. He was acting like the clichéd possessive boyfriend when we weren’t even together. Screw him and his shitty attitude.
He raised his eyebrows in disbelief and then copying my earlier stance, folded his arms across his chest. His muscles bulged; he was a tower of aggression and extremely intimidating, but I refused to allow him to gaslight me. I had done nothing wrong .
Before I could add to my comment, he cut in with, “Talking my arse. That’s not what it looked like from where I was standing. If you’re trying to do the whole get me jealous thing, I wouldn’t advise it.”
The threat sat between us like a growling dog.
“The Jealousy thing?” I quizzed, quirking him a look.
He nodded his head. “It’s the oldest trick in the book, but it won’t work with me.”
I sighed; the conversation was starting to drain away my joy. “You’ve lost me Jaxon.”
“Allowing another man to put his hands on you when you fucked me only a week ago. I have to say, that must be the tackiest way any female has used to get my attention.”
“You need to get over yourself, I wasn’t trying to get your attention,” I lied, only just managing to inject casual indifference into my tone.
“Well, now you have it. The question is, what are you going to do with it?”
My eyes were reduced to slits, taking in the tension in his face and the way he held his body. He didn’t look drunk but his behaviour was so extreme. I was used to the backlash from his mixed messages, but this was borderline mental. “Have you been drinking? I don’t understand why you’re acting like this?”
“What did we miss?” Chris suddenly uttered breezily as he appeared, like a bad smell beside Jaxon. He was with Melody and I so didn’t want them there just then.
Jaxon flicked Chris a dismissive glance. “Wynter whoring herself out to all my friends, apparently .” His words were like darts but I refused to flinch. I also couldn’t believe how loud he was, bearing in mind the room was brimming with people.
My temper shot forward and I took a step toward him, cocking my hip as I looked up, confused by his angry expression. “That’s not what I was doing at all,” I snapped feeling thoroughly embarrassed. His insult still didn’t melt the hormones raging through me like a river of fire.
He was still spoiling for a fight. Jaxon also stepped forward until we were almost nose to nose like two boxers squaring up before a fight. “Then why did Christian have his hands all over you?” he growled in a throaty voice, gesturing towards my body with a jerk of one hand.
My eyebrows inched further toward my hairline. “I wouldn’t quite describe it like that,” I panted out almost breathlessly, attempting to replay my conversation with Christian. Yes, I had flirted a bit but there was no pawing involved. Not as I remembered it anyway.
I was slowly losing the will. I couldn’t cope with Jaxon when he was on one. Nobody could, not even Marcus.
“Then how would you fucking describe it, Wynter?”
“I think we should leave you guys to it…” Chris suggested awkwardly, his voice trailing off at the end. I suddenly didn’t want to be alone with Jaxon. Not because I feared him, but because I didn’t want him to say something that would hurt me, and he was so good at doing that. Maybe in front of Chris and Melody, he’d be more restrained. How wrong I was.
“No, stay,” I ordered in a brisk, commanding tone. They both turned in their tracks and stepped back towards us.
“OK,” Chris muttered uneasily.
I moved away and walked a few steps, snatching the shot that Christian had given me earlier from the table before storming back over to the trio. Jaxon was still glaring, the other two looking uncomfortable as they both glanced between us. Rolling the glass between my fingers, I recklessly necked it.
Jaxon’s eyes dipped to the glass and back up and raised an eyebrow. “You should go easy on that. We don’t want a repeat of last Christmas,” he sneered with a curled lip. He was watching me intently, awaiting my reaction, desperate to light my fuse .
My temper spiked. “Why do you always have to throw the past in my face?” I barked, trying to ignore the pounding in my head.
“That’s not what I’m doing. I’m warning you, as a concerned older brother should.” He put more emphasis on the word brother and it had the intended effect.
I took the bait and spoke in code. “I think we both know you’re not my brother and under the circumstances, I’m surprised you’re throwing that label around now.”
Of course, Jaxon got one up on me and turned the tables. He was a pro at conflict, how I thought I could outsmart him was anyone’s guess. “And what circumstances are those, Wynter?” he drawled in that sexy voice of his. He was now mildly amused but still mad. His smug face was at war with the coiled angry stance of his body language.
I backed down. “You know what I mean,” I choked out with a flick of my head. My hair swished across my shoulders and Jaxon’s eyes darkened as he followed the movement. I knew that look. He was remembering the night we had shared.
“Ah, the hotel,” he husked.
He obviously couldn’t hold his silence any longer. “What happened at the hotel?” Chris interjected with his eyebrows high, glancing at Melody to see if she was any wiser; he was giddy about the thought of being privy to some secret between us.
“I think this conversation has gone on long enough. I’m going to get another drink,” I replied, waiving the empty shot glass in the air.
Jaxon took a step towards me, closing the distance. “Fine, I’ll join you.”
I put my hand against his chest; my skin fizzing as my palm touched that rock-hard surface. “No thank you. I’m choosy about the company I keep.”
I would not allow him to bully me or make me feel regret for what had happened between us .
“What do you mean no?” Jaxon rasped with a scowl. Was he for real? He had called me a whore in front of his brother and my best friend and he thought I’d want to share a drink with him? He was insane; a socially impaired tyrant; why I had feelings for him was beyond me.
I shoved at his chest but he didn’t step back, he just grunted slightly. “I don’t want you to join me. In fact, from now on, just stay away from me.”
He lifted his hand, his fingers encircling my wrist. “You don’t mean that,” he half whispered as he pulled my hand away and moved closer. It was like he’d forgotten Chris and Melody were standing right beside us; watching the drama with mixed expressions.
I yanked my wrist from his fingers and he allowed it. Thank God for small mercies.
“I do mean it. In fact, I think I hate you.” My words sounded pathetic even to my ears. The lie rang between us. And then I realised he knew. Shit. He knew how I really felt and there was nothing I could do to backpedal.
The morning after, we hadn’t spoken about what had been said during what was indeed sensational sex, and I had hoped he had taken my words with a pinch of salt. An expression of love during my first time. That’s what I had hoped he would think but nope, he knew I was in love with him and now he was going to use that against me.
I held my breath, if he did, he was indeed a first-class bastard.
Jaxon’s lips were turned down in a mocking sneer as he said with a disbelieving tone. “So, you hate me now?” He was watching me like a science experiment, unsure of whether the concoction of chemicals would combust or settle.
I had to sound convincing and I glanced down briefly, rolling the shot glass between my fingers before looking back. And then I lost it and threw the shot glass back onto the table. It skittered across the surface and fell on the floor but didn’t break .
Swinging back to face him I went all-out attack mode. “Yes really ,” I began, pushing a pointed finger into his chest. “You’re driving me insane. You purposefully mess with my head until I can’t think straight. Your moods are so changeable, you make me feel like a demented person. You’re wrong for me in every way possible, so just stay away from me Jaxon. I’ve had enough of being your toy.” After one last prod to highlight my point, I went to walk away but he moved in front of me, blocking my escape.
Jaxon lowered his head toward mine, arching one eyebrow and I wanted to hit him. “You felt differently last weekend.” He didn’t lower his voice. He was putting on a show and didn’t give a shit about the possible fallout.
“Why, what happened last weekend?” Melody cut in with a flustered look, stepping closer with her arm through Chris’s, dragging him back into the drama. They lurched to one side, suggesting they were both tipsy.
“Nothing,” I shot out a little too fast, my chest felt ominously tight.
Jaxon dared to run his index finger across my collarbone. The touch sent a signal straight to my lady parts. My need for this man was obviously stronger than my willpower.
“It wasn’t nothing when you were screaming my name.” He was now watching me with a mixture of temper and lust.
Embarrassed heat bloomed through me. Kill me, kill me now.
“Oh my God, you’ve slept together. I knew it!” Chris exclaimed with an odd bark of glee. I was surprised he didn’t jump up and down and clap his hands. I wanted the floor to swallow me whole.
“Keep your voice down,” Jaxon snarled, shooting a dark glance around us.
So, he didn’t want everyone to know our dirty little secret. I pushed away those thoughts, ‘dirty little secret’ made me sad, as that wasn’t what it had been for me at all. The conversation was now tainting it.
My shoulders dropped and I stepped back, craning my neck to retrain eye contact. “I can’t believe you’ve just said that in front of everyone. ”
“And I can’t believe you’re so fucking deluded as to think you hate me,” he stated arrogantly. “Where do you get the guts to say that to me after everything that’s happened?”
The discussion, if you could call it that, was now just between the two of us. Chris and Melody were there but had faded away into the background as Jaxon and I locked horns.
I released an annoyed breath. Our verbal fencing was now rapid and unfettered. “I do hate you, especially now.”
“Really? That’s not what you said at the hotel,” Jaxon batted back, giving no quarter. A vein throbbed in his temple which proved how wound up he was, even though he appeared to keep his cool so much better than me.
“You fucking loved it and you were extremely vocal,” he sneered. Of course, he was right. Sex with Jaxon had been even better than any fantasy I had created in my head, but I needed to build up my defences again.
“And what did I say?” My head was all a muddle. What had I said again? Oh yes, the love thing. Shit.
“You’re in love with me.”
It was like a kick in the teeth. My pulse quickened.
“What? No, I’m not,” I lied. Was my nose growing? My temper certainly was.
And then Jaxon took things up a step. “I remember it well, I was inside you at the time,” he baited, the sexually suggestive way he spoke those words sent another jet of heat between my legs. The grip I had on my control then snapped, and I raised my hand and slapped him hard across the face.
Melody’s gasp echoed between us and Chris blurted, “Fuck me, bro.”
Jaxon’s jaw had been clenched, like he had poised himself; prepared for my attack. He probably got off on physical conflict as well as verbal. My wrist ached and I longed to rub it with the other hand, but I was determined not to show any more weakness .
Jaxon’s face didn’t even move with the impact, but I could see the red imprint of my hand appearing, along with his fury.
“You’re a pig and I wish I’d never met you!” I knew I needed to get out of there and I shoved past Chris and Melody, half sprinting towards the doors. I needed space and fast before I lost my shit completely.
I heard Jaxon curse as I moved away and then I could feel him at my heels. He was coming after me. I picked up the pace and made it out into the hallway.
As I was about to take the stairs to my room, he caught me roughly by the arm, swinging me around to face him and I struggled. To control my movements, he grabbed my other arm and shook me, once, my head rattled back on my neck.
“Will you just stop,” he boomed.
“Let go of me,” I yelled back at him, unable to free my upper arms from his grasp. He tightened his grip making me wince, but it didn’t matter; I knew my body would surrender to any bad thing he wanted to do to me.
Jaxon must have seen his grip hurt and he released me and placed his hands up in a gesture of surrender. “Please, just listen to me.” His tone had dropped, he was trying to claw control back, I could see it in the mixture of emotions which crossed his face.
“I’m done listening to you. I’ve had enough Jaxon,” I shot out making to turn away again but he snagged my wrist. I instantly shot a glance down toward where he held me. My expression told him I wasn’t happy that he was manhandling me. And again, Jaxon let go like he’d burnt his fingers.
He took a deep breath and then dashed a hand down his face. “Will you just hear me out and stop fighting me?”
“No,” I stated moodily, staring at the floor, suddenly wanting to blah my eyes out.
“Don’t you dare cry,” he warned with a dark look.
“Well leave me alone then. I have nothing else to say to you. ”
“Are you done being dramatic?” Jaxon barked out with barely suppressed savagery.
“Go to hell,” I snapped back.
His eyes were full of intent and he released a drawn-out sigh, it sounded pained. “Fine, then you leave me no choice.”