Chapter 5
FIVE
Shona
The clubhouse was bustling when I finally got free of Savage’s arms. If Viper hadn't threatened to come into the room, I didn’t think I would have been able to untangle myself from Savage’s body. Whether it was because I didn’t want to or he didn’t want me to was still unanswered.
Ace stood with his family, Shauna with Chains, Ryleigh with Fury and baby Mark in his arms. Hawk was talking with Bear, while Orla and Morena were talking with some of the bunnies.
Viper had his arm slung around Kayleigh’s shoulders.
That had been happening a lot lately. I wondered if there was anything there.
Nomads were sitting around the clubhouse, drinking and talking.
It was weird to think that Savage had been helping them for so long, he’d been spending time with them all like they were his club.
I’d always wondered why Ace had sent him and not one of the others.
Judging by the way they all acknowledged him as he walked past; looks of trust and respect, I could see I didn’t give Savage enough credit.
He stood by the side of the bar he normally did and waited, looking down at his phone.
He’d always just watched over me, he never distracted me, especially when it was busy.
It felt nice to have him there, even if it was to keep unruly customers at bay.
I saw Fury talking with a man I hadn’t recognised and when Lorcan came over to talk to him, I realised he was the one they all talked about.
The Dublin Dia. The fact he was called a God made me wonder just how powerful he was.
It was also very rare for the mafia men to be present during an announcement like this, so this must be big.
The prospects all walked in and motioned to Hawk that they’d shut the gates. It meant we could all be here at the same time. Maree sidled up to me behind the bar and helped me, just as Ace was calling us to attention.
“Quieten down,” he ordered. “I wanted to firstly thank you for coming on short notice. I know it wasn’t easy to get everyone here at the same time, and we’re appreciative that our associates could come too.”
He motioned for Lorcan and Eamon, who nodded their heads.
“This was a joint effort, we got the man who has been terrorising us and Kilkenny for too long. Soon we will get back to former glory, and for that we are celebrating tonight. We would also like to issue a warm goodbye to long time member Butch, and his beautiful wife Maree-”
“Damn straight,” Maree interrupted, which had everyone chuckling.
“They’re off to Wales to retire peacefully, and hopefully live out a very long and quiet retirement.”
Everyone raised their glasses and drank.
“Finally, I wanted to thank one of our own for undertaking a lengthy and sometimes dangerous job of finding a new Prez for our Nomads. Usually, something like this would be dealt with in house but when they ask, we come and vice versa. Savage, to you brother, thank you.”
Everyone turned to Savage, who leaned on the bar and nodded his head. He had no other expression like he usually did for everyone else… everyone else but me, that was.
“Trigger, although young, has risen in the ranks of the Nomads and has taken on a lot that even I hadn’t seen in all my years. Welcome to your position, brother. We know you’ll be everything the Nomads need.”
Fury let out a cheer. I knew the two of them were close friends, so that was nice. He was young, just like Fury, but he’d been in a club since he was a baby. He was a born member.
“Now, without holding the place too long, we all know I hate talking shit, drink and let loose,” Ace said.
A chorus of Slainte rang out, and everyone drank to the good news.
I made a move to walk over to Savage, to ask why he hadn’t told me he was going to be back for good, but he was already moving away and heading to Maree at the end of the bar.
She and Butch were talking with him, and a warm smile made its way onto his face.
Dear God, he was a beautiful man.
“I’m going to die of thirst over here,” I heard Viper say from beside me. I spun around, embarrassed that he caught me ogling Savage. His smile told me he knew exactly what I was doing too.
“What’ll it be?”
“You know what I drink, darlin’.”
I rolled my eyes and poured him a drink before I handed it over.
“What’s going on with you and Kay?”
His smile dropped a little, and he shrugged. “I could ask the same for you and my boy over there.”
“Nothing,” I shrugged, hoping it came off sincere, but we both knew it wasn’t.
“Sure.”
I rolled my eyes, thankful that I had other people to serve. When the bar quietened down a bit, I looked back over at Maree and saw that Savage was walking out the door of the clubhouse, a smoke in between his lips. Maree spelled me and I headed out after him, not caring who saw.
He walked to the side of the clubhouse, away from others and smoked, his leg kicked back on the side while he leaned against it.
“You didn’t tell me you were coming back for good.”
It came out as more of an accusation than a statement, and I wondered why I was so bitter about it. I should have been rejoicing, and yet I felt like maybe I’d always be left out of decisions. I knew how it was with Dog, and I knew it had been the same in the club for years.
“A bit rich, don’t you think?” he finally replied. “Were you going to tell me you were leaving any time soon?”
I froze, unable to come up with anything I could say in response. “Maree told you.”
“Would you have, or would I have woken up one day and you were gone?” he asked.
It was only then that he looked at me, and I saw the pain behind his eyes.
I felt terrible, and my gut churned violently as I tried to come up with a way to explain, but there was no way to explain. I hadn’t even told Maree everything.
“I don’t know why you’re so upset,” I said in defense. “You knew I didn’t want to do anything, I don’t want to fall in love again. You knew that this was just fun.”
He pushed off the wall, dropping the cigarette to the ground and stubbing it out with his boot before he walked up to me. His eyes blazed with anger, and for the first time I felt fear.
“That’s why you wanted to know about me? Why I let you go through my personal things, so you could find out who I was? Tell me, was that why you can’t bear to be with me, or did you never really care?”
“Niall…”
“No,” he shook his head. “You don’t get to call me that anymore.”
He stomped away from me, back to the clubhouse and for the first time in what felt like months, I felt like absolute shit.
I’d hurt him.
He was right. He had let me in, something he didn’t let anyone see, let alone know about him, and he’d done it telling me he wanted me in the long term. I had used him, never intending to let him into my life.
I was the bad guy here.
Moving back inside, I headed to his room. I needed him to know why I was leaving - to explain at least.
His door was locked. I knocked, but I knew he probably wouldn’t hear it over the party.
“When he’s like this, Shona, I wouldn’t try.”
Viper’s smile was long gone, and I could see that he was looking at me differently. He may not know what had happened but he could tell something went down, and he was protecting his friend.
I nodded and headed down to my room before I burst into tears and embarrassed myself further.
Realisation hit hard.
My time with the Ghost Rebels was up.
Once my door was closed, I locked it and let the tears fall down my cheeks. I told myself the tears were for the club, but I knew…secretly, I knew they were for him.
Savage
Viper had pre-warned me that today was the day Shona was leaving the clubhouse. He’d tried to convince me to talk to her, that she could change her mind, but I didn’t want her to. I’d never been good enough for her.
I knew that now.
She was a fucking goddess, and I’d been stupid to think she could ever love a monster like me.
Her car was still here when I got back from my ride.
I’d spent two days on the road, hoping the ride would clear my head and heal what was cracking in my chest but when I saw her standing by her car, I realised I’d come back too soon.
I stayed on my bike, watching how effortlessly she said goodbye to everyone.
She was part of this club, and she was leaving.
I couldn’t help but feel a little guilty about the fact that maybe she was leaving because of me.
I was a Ghost Rebel, and she knew when our tryst blew up that it would be awkward.
I knew I shouldn’t have kept it up, but she was my own personal drug.
I couldn’t resist her.
I wanted her.
I was addicted to her.
I’d thought I could be selfish and have her, have something good in my life, but I’d lost sight of who I was and the blood running through my veins. I was the son of a monster, and inside, I knew I was one too.
Her car edged down the drive, toward me. She slowly moved past, her eyes on me with an expression I couldn’t read as I watched her drive away.
She didn’t say a word.
She didn’t need to.
I got off my bike and headed inside. Viper didn’t try to stop me when I stormed to my room and slammed the door.
I laid down on my bed and grunted when I smelled her perfume on the pillows; the soft, delicate perfume that was so quintessentially her. Fuck.
Getting up, I stripped my sheets off the bed and laid back down, but I could still smell her. Had she permeated through the goddamn mattress too? How long until this passed? How long until I felt like the savage I was again?
A knock landed on my door, and I knew from the way the knuckles hit the wood that it was Viper. I didn’t respond, yet he opened the door anyway.
“You good?”
“What do you think?” I spat.
“You’re laying on a bed with no sheets and you won’t make eye contact so no, I don’t think you are. Want to talk about it?”
“Do I look like a fucking woman?”