60. Ethan
ETHAN
Ihad called Enzo three times that morning before deciding I had to check his bedroom, because it was unlike him not to be up and about by seven.
Last night had been a shit show. I’d watched him lose it on Virelli’s men. I knew today would be hell, so we needed to be prepared.
Dom had called that morning at daybreak to request a meeting, so it was clear news on what Enzo had done to Virelli’s men had reached him.
I’d agreed, and he said he’d be over for dinner with the boys so they could hang out with Laz.
And today Laz would meet Ellis.
It would be a very busy day.
I stepped into Enzo’s room when he didn’t answer the door after I knocked and stopped in my tracks.
He was completely naked by the looks of his muscular ass hanging out of his blanket, but that wasn’t the shocking part.
It was Rosalie, sleeping soundly in his arms, as he held her close.
And she definitely wasn’t wearing clothes. He had her wrapped tightly so I couldn’t see anything, but I knew what a naked woman beneath the sheets looked like.
I stared down at them stupidly.
When the fuck had this happened?
My guts churned at what it could mean. I knew Enzo said he wanted her back, but neither gave any indication it was happening. In fact, they barely spoke to each other, so color my dick surprised to find them like this.
If I didn’t know, I was sure Cole sure as fuck didn’t.
And if Enzo was with Rosalie again, that left me alone.
My heart thudded hard as what it all meant slammed into me.
“E?” Enzo called out softly, his voice rough from sleep.
“Hey,” I choked out. “I’m sorry. You weren’t awake. I was worried.”
He groaned softly, then seemed to realize what was happening and who was in his bed. His eyes widened as he looked at Rosalie, then at me, a worried expression on his face.
I backed up as he carefully untangled himself from her and got out of bed, his big cock swinging as he rushed to grab a pair of boxers.
I swallowed hard as he quickly dressed in his suit and tie. I tried not to look at how beautiful Rosalie was in his bed, her red curls cascading around her.
What I wouldn’t fucking give to slip in next to her and kiss her soft lips and tell her I loved her.
But I couldn’t.
“E?” Enzo called out softly, pulling my attention away from Rosalie.
“Does Cole know?” I whispered.
“Let’s talk somewhere else,” he said, a note of desperation in his voice. “Please. Fuck, man.”
I nodded tightly and followed him out of his bedroom.
The moment we were in the hall, I broke.
“Are you-Are you fucking her, Enzo?”
“It’s not like that,” he said, shaking his head.
“You were naked in bed with her! What the fuck was it if it wasn’t that? Does Cole know? Do the guys?”
“E, please. Just don’t tell, OK?”
I blinked at him like I didn’t even know who he was.
“I promised her I wouldn’t tell. I needed her last night—”
I scoffed. “Nice. So for one night you both let go and fucked one another. How convenient. Do you have any idea how much I’ve needed her over the years? Huh?”
He blinked at me and stepped aside. “Go, man. Go to her if you want her.”
I gave him a sour look. “I’m not a fucking cheater, dick. I’m not you.”
His face fell.
“You know how badly Cole reacted when you and him fucked around that night. He considered it cheating because you both weren’t with her. This is so fucked. I can’t keep it from him. I have to tell him. I’m sorry—”
He shoved me against the wall, his forearm at my throat.
“E, don’t. Please,” he choked out. “I’ll tell him. I will. Just give me time to do it, OK? Please, brother. I’m begging you.”
“He’s having babies with her. They have a daughter,” I said, shoving him back. “You’ll fuck up everything! It’s why I don’t do anything!”
“You don’t do anything because you’re fucking terrified,” he snapped back at me, his dark eyes flashing. “You’ve spent your entire life scared, E! She’s right there. Make the fucking move and stop using excuses for everything!”
“You know what?” I snarled, my turn to shove him against the wall.
I twisted my fingers in his suit jacket, ready to slam him until he pulled his head out of his ass.
“Fuck you, Enzo. I have gone through hell because of all this fucking shit! All you do is fuck everything up! You’re no fucking don, you’re a fuck-up!
Forcing the marriage choice on Rosalie and putting Fox into the state of mind where he was ready to fucking kill himself!
And then he fucking did! We lost him because of you!
Now all that’s left is this fucking shell of a man who hates his life.
All of it led to this goddamn nightmare none of us can wake from!
Maybe Church was right. You are fucking weak.
You proved it when you crawled into bed with her last night.
I have blindly followed you for years, but I can’t do this shit anymore.
I’m tired. I want out. I want to get the fuck away from you and all the bad fucking decisions! I’m done with this shit.”
“Mister Ethan?” Ellis’s tiny voice called out.
I released Enzo, both of us breathing hard, and looked at Ellis standing in her pink My Little Pony pajamas, clutching her bear.
“Hey, darlin’,” I said gently.
“Why are you being mean to Mister Enzo?”
“Oh. Uh. I wasn’t. We were just talking aggressively,” I mumbled. I’d never lost it in front of a child before. Not even Laz had seen me like this.
“Aggressively.” She repeated the word. “Is that when you’re mad?”
I kneeled in front of her, Enzo not moving an inch. I knew I’d touched a nerve, but fuck, I was tired of all this shit.
“Sometimes. It can mean different things. It depends on the situation.”
“Is this a mad situation?” She blinked at me with her big blue eyes.
I let out a soft laugh. She was a smart little shit. Just like her parents.
“This was a venting situation,” I said.
“Venting? Is that like the coffee drink Mommy gets? It has whipped cream on top.”
I chuckled softly. “No, darlin’. It’s like telling someone aggressively what you’re upset about.”
“So you were mad.” She stared me down.
Damn. She had me there.
“We’re fine, Ellis,” Enzo said. “We were just talking. Ethan had some things he needed to get off his chest, and now I know how he really feels. We’re brothers. We tend to be aggressive.”
“But you still love each other?” She looked from me to Enzo.
“Yes. We still love each other,” Enzo murmured.
She seemed satisfied with that answer, taking Enzo’s hand when he held it out to her.
“Let’s get you some breakfast,” he said.
“Are Mommy and Daddy down there?”
“Daddy is. Mommy is taking a shower,” Enzo murmured as he led her downstairs. I watched them go before looking back to Enzo’s door and shaking my head.
This was fucked.
“Has he said anything?” I asked Ann as I watched Laz gather his toys.
“Not a word,” she said sadly. “He just wants to be by himself. Even Harold couldn’t get him to talk, and you know how much he used to yap his ear off. Nothing, Ethan. We tried.”
I nodded glumly.
“It’ll be OK. Children go through phases,” she said, squeezing my hand. “He just needs to meet the right friends, and he will come back to us.”
“I hope so,” I said, my throat tight.
I missed my sweet boy.
I’d explained a lot of what was going on to Ann and Harold, and they were more than willing to watch Laz through it all, but with Ellis at the house and Dom coming tonight with the twins, I figured now would be a good time to bring him home.
He’d stayed with Ann and Harold last night, but I wanted him with me today.
I missed him like crazy and hated being away from him.
I was in a constant state of worry these days over him.
“You know how to find us if you need us. We’ll be right here,” Ann said.
I thanked her and left with Laz, my heart in my throat. I’d spent the day in my office at Mayfair. I graded some papers for a bit before giving in and trying to figure out who the fuck could have leaked the videos.
I had no fucking clue, but I knew my dick was somewhere in all of it, and I really didn’t want that shit to get out because someday Laz might see it. I didn’t want him to be picked on later in life because his old man had a sex tape with a rock star.
But I also didn’t want Rosalie to suffer more.
Anson approved Enzo’s statement, and it went live last night. It seemed to garner a fair amount of attention because the press was having a field day with it. Anson texted me this morning to say he was going to make a statement on behalf of himself and Rosalie.
It looked like he wouldn’t be returning to Chicago unless things got bad. I promised him I’d be here if Evan, Ryder, and Cole needed me, and I meant it.
“Hey, Laz,” I said as we got into the elevator. “Ellis is at our house.”
He looked up at me, no emotion on his face. It tore me apart inside.
I breathed out.
“Remember Rosalie? Cole’s girlfriend?”
His green eyes widened, excitement touching them.
Fuck, finally, some kind of communication.
“She’s there with her daughter. Ellis. They were going to make cookies, and then Dom and the twins are coming over to play with you. Maybe you can introduce Ellis to them. Can you do that?”
The light in his eyes died, and he looked at his feet. The elevator ended at our floor, and we got out, but I stopped him and crouched to speak to him.
“Hey, Laz, man, talk to me. Please, bud. I miss you. What can I do?”
He said nothing, continuing to look at the floor.
“Are you worried about making a new friend?”
He chanced a look at me, his cheeks turning red.
Fuck, he was scared. Kids at school were dicks to him, so he thought all new kids were dicks.
“Ellis is just like her mommy. She’s really sweet. You’ll love her, I promise. Can you go in there and be a good boy? Make her smile?”
He shrugged a little shoulder, but he looked past me to the door, moving back and forth from foot to foot in anticipation. I knew Laz’s excited tells. He was likely excited about seeing Rosalie. She’d made quite an impression on him.
It wasn’t like he was around a lot of women. Mostly it was just Ann, and he viewed her more as the grandmotherly sort, or even a sweet aunt, definitely not a mom.
Fuck. Rosalie as his mom would be a dream come true.
I shoved the thought completely out of my head. I wouldn’t do that to her. That would be the ultimate torture: waking up to see Laz and me every day and knowing how he came into existence.
I wouldn’t put her through that.
“Come on. You’re going to make a new friend today. It’ll be fun.” I stood and took his hand. Memphis was on watch and shot me a reassuring smile since the saints were well aware of what was happening with Laz.
I opened the door to our place and stepped inside. Ellis was sitting on a stool at the kitchen island, Cole next to her, while Rosalie laid everything out for their cookies.
They looked like the perfect family.
It was killing me that I wasn’t a part of that.
Luckily, Enzo wasn’t anywhere around, but I knew he was likely just in his office.
Cole noticed us first. A big smile spread across his face as he got up. Ellis followed his gaze, her blue eyes brightening as Cole moved past her to come to us.
“Hey, dude. I’ve missed you,” Cole said, reaching out for a hug from Laz. He hugged him back, but I noticed he’d looked at Rosalie before all his attention went to Ellis, who stood nervously behind Cole in her pretty pink dress. Rosalie joined us, and my nerves began to take over.
“How was school?” Cole continued. Laz didn’t answer, his gaze still on Ellis. He seemed mesmerized by her. Cole looked back at Ellis and held his hand out for her. She took it and joined him.
“Riot, this is Ellis. She’s my daughter,” he said. “Ellis, this is Lazarus.”
“Hello, Lizard,” Ellis said solemnly. “It’s nice to meet you.” She stepped up to hug him.
Laz froze as she put her arms around him. I didn’t think he’d hug her back, but I was stunned when he did.
“Oh, Lizard. You’re my best friend now,” Ellis said, giggling as she pulled away. “Do you like ballet?”
Laz kept his gaze trained on her as he shook his head. Cole shot me a grin at Laz’s communication.
“It’s OK if you don’t like ballet. I can teach you! Then you can dance with me!”
His little cheeks turned a light shade of pink before he offered her his Ninja Turtle. She took it, a smile on her face.
“He’s pretty,” she said. “A pretty lizard. Just like you!”
Laz grinned at her before taking her hand and dragging her away. We all watched as he led her upstairs, presumably to his room, to show her all his turtles.
“I knew they’d hit it off,” Cole said, standing and hugging Rosalie. She caught my eye and gave me a tentative smile. I scoffed and looked away from her, but I caught the frown on her face.
I had a lot to say to her because I was still pissed.
“Enzo in his office?” I asked.
“Yeah, man. He’s talking to Elijah. They’re putting together a security detail for the building that’s more in-depth than it usually is.”
I nodded. “OK. I’m going to head up and grab a shower.”
I didn’t wait for them to say anything else. The last person I wanted to see was Enzo.
I went upstairs and checked on the kids to see that Laz was indeed showing Ellis his turtles. I stood outside his door, listening to them.
“I like this one,” Ellis said. “Which one is your favorite?”
There was a silence.
“You don’t talk, Lizard?”
Silence.
“It’s OK if you’re scared,” Ellis said. “If you want, since you’re my best friend, I can talk for you. My dada Klaus says I’m good at talking, so I know I can say your words for you.”
Another beat of silence.
“My Aunt Weena doesn’t talk either, but she has a secret language I can teach you! She taught me with my unkies. Do you want to learn?”
More silence.
Ellis giggled. “OK. So if you want to say you like candy, use your hands like this.”
I smiled. She was going to teach him sign language. It was something I’d tried briefly, but he’d made no effort at all in the short amount of time. Because I didn’t want to waste his time if he wasn’t interested, I didn’t push it.
“That’s really good, Lizard! Now if you want a cookie from your daddy, you do this.”
Silence.
“That’s so good! I’m proud of you! Cookies need milk, so this is how you say that…”
I peeked into the room to see them sitting on the floor across from one another, Ellis showing him her hands as she signed. And Laz… he was doing what she told him to do.
Fuck, my damn heart.
She was getting through to him.
I left them alone and went to my room and pulled out the sign language book I’d picked up and thumbed through it.
I wanted a refresher on common words and phrases, so I spent the next half hour doing that in case Laz wanted to talk later.
Cole boasted about Ellis knowing three languages, but I doubt he knew she knew a fourth in sign language.
The little girl was really something. A real prodigy. Just like her dad.
I smiled at that, really fucking hoping shit didn’t fall apart now that Enzo had put his dick where it didn’t belong.
I wasn’t sure we could handle our world crumbling again.