62. Rosalie
ROSALIE
“What the hell is going on with you?” I demanded as I stormed into Ethan’s room. I’d left dinner to get this sorted. The Ethan I knew back then definitely wasn’t that man anymore.
It was killing me inside. It seemed like we’d take two steps forward and five back. I was tired of it.
“Nothing, Rosalie. Nothing is fucking wrong with me. Everything is absolute fucking rainbows and giant motherfucking happy faces!” His face was red as he raised his voice.
“Ethan, I’m going to ask you again. What’s going on? This isn’t like you.”
“Like me?” He laughed sourly. “Let’s be real here, Rosalie. You don’t actually know me. It’s been five years. I’m not the pathetic kid you knew back then. I’ve changed.”
“Yeah, clearly,” I snapped back. “Into a giant walking asshole!”
He stared me down as we faced off.
“If my being here with Ellis is too much, I will go,” I said softly after a moment of staring at one another. “My intention isn’t to start fights.”
“No, it’s just to break apart what’s left of us,” he whispered.
My heart fell at his words.
“What?” I asked.
“You’re taking Cole, and I fucking love that for him. I do, but it hurts, Rosalie. It fucking does because I cannot bear to even sit in the same room with you with my son. I’ve seen the look on your face when you see him. I can’t have you, but fuck, do I really, truly want you.”
“I told you I don’t care about any of that.
If you want me, take me. The only one stopping you is you!
You should know me by now, but since it’s been five years, here’s a refresher.
I love with my whole heart. And I get that you’re scared and that Laz’s mom was a piece of work, but I loved you.
I loved you so fucking much. Even now, my heart aches for you, Ethan.
I would love your son as if he were my own.
I would care for him. Guide him. Hug him.
Give him everything he needed. I think you’re confusing me with his real mom,” I finished softly.
“I get she messed you up, but I’m not her. I’m not.”
He stared at me, a muscle thrumming along his jaw.
“What do you tell Enzo when you’re fucking him?” he whispered finally. “Do you tell him you loved him too? Or is it love because it’s how you really feel now?”
My heart thudded hard at his words.
“What do you mean?” I asked, my voice shaking.
“I know you fucked Enzo.”
“He told you?” I winced. He promised he wouldn’t.
“No.” He shook his head. “You weren’t really discreet about it. I walked into his bedroom to find you naked in his arms. Didn’t take a genius to figure out what happened.”
I looked at my feet, my breathing picking up.
He stepped into my space and tilted my chin up. “Does Cole know you’re cheating on him with his best friend?”
“Don’t say it like that,” I said hoarsely. “It’s not like that.”
“Then tell me what it’s like, because his dick inside your pussy when he’s not your guy sure looks like cheating to me.
Cole lost his fucking mind when he and Enzo fucked around.
Claimed it was cheating. You saw how he was when I kissed you.
What do you think he’ll say once he finds out you’re fucking Enzo? ”
“You’re making it into a monster that it’s not,” I said, staring into his green eyes. “Ethan, we’re trying to work on things. He said he wants to join and…”
“And what, Rosalie? Leave this life?” He scoffed.
“We can’t leave this life. We’d be murdered in our fucking sleep.
Whether you want to believe it or not, we will always have to have men at our beck and call.
We will always need armed guards. Enzo isn’t going to give up his billion-dollar empire just because it might work out with you.
He may love you, but he’s not stupid. He owns a massive company with government contracts.
He knows men who would make you weep. He’s a fucking don.
There is no fucking out for us. If there was, don’t you think we’d have taken it by now?
” His brows crinkled. “Rosalie, death is the only way out. If I were you, I’d take what’s left and run.
Take Cole. Your family. And run. No good will come from you staying here. ”
“Ethan—” I twisted my fingers in his shirt, my heart in my throat.
“I love you enough to let you go, sweetheart. I do. I cannot be the man you need. I likely never was. I have a son. I have a past. I have an empire built on screams in the night and fire in my veins. I cannot walk away from it just like Cole can’t.
If you stay, this is our lives. You have a chance without us. ”
“Do you want me?” I asked.
“I will never not want you, but I’m not a fool. I cannot have you. I don’t want it like this. In our group, we’re all in. And baby, you were out a long fucking time ago. Stay that way, OK?”
“You won’t even try?”
He shook his head as he reached out to cradle my face.
“What I know is that if Enzo tries to leave, this world will still catch up to him. In what’s left, I will take over.
For every enemy we take down, ten more pop back up.
We will never be free. I’m sorry.” He gently wiped the fallen tears off my cheek with his thumb.
“Tell Cole you’re fucking Enzo, or I will.
” He kissed my forehead before walking to the door and leaving me standing alone in his bedroom, my heart in my throat.