CHAPTER 14
Mallory
The professor’s office smelled faintly of old books and musty paper.
It was the kind of place where secrets of the natural world were catalogued and tamed.
Mallory sat on the edge of her chair with a notebook clutched in her lap and tried to keep her pulse steady as Professor Swinson adjusted his spectacles and studied the photograph on his screen.
“This,” he said as he tapped the image with a pen, “is a subspecies that hasn’t been documented yet. Nothing I have found is quite like it.”
Mallory leaned forward despite herself. When she had submitted her term paper proposal, she had included a photograph she had taken while on holiday of a unique little plant that she thought was beautiful.
She had no idea that it was actually a new variant.
The plant’s leaves were long and serrated with veins that glowed faintly blue in the right light.
“You’re serious?” she asked before she could stop herself.
“Oh, absolutely,” Swinson replied. “I never joke about the discovery of new species. If it’s related to the family of plants that I think it is, this little darling may contain potent anti-inflammatory and regenerative properties.
It may have the ability to accelerate tissue repair or even neutralize certain toxins.
” He glanced at her. “If even half of that is true, it could be groundbreaking.”
Mallory swallowed. “And it’s only found in…?”
“The Iskara Northlands,” he finished and turned away from the screen to look at her. “These varieties only grow in that region. Specifically the province that surrounds Onyxheim.”
There it was. The place name landed like a blow to her chest.
She inhaled sharper than necessary but managed to keep her face neutral. Inside, her emotions erupted. Iskara. Jakob. Snow and heat and the way her heart had learned things it had never quite unlearned.
“I know it’s remote,” Dr. Swinson continued, obviously having mistaken her reaction, “and not exactly welcoming. But you’ve already done fieldwork there so your prior experience actually makes you one of the few candidates I’d trust with this.”
Mallory forced a smile. “Yes. I…well, I remember it well.”
Too well.
“This could be an excellent term paper,” he went on. “Original research. Firsthand observation. Possibly samples, if local regulations allow. I wouldn’t suggest it if I didn’t think you could handle it.”
She nodded slowly, even as her thoughts spiraled. Handle it. Could she handle going back? Could she handle seeing Jakob, or would it be worse if she didn’t see him at all?
“I’ll need to think about the logistics,” she said carefully. The expense of the trip was going to be difficult.
“Of course,” her professor agreed. “But time is a factor. The plant only surfaces during a narrow seasonal window.”
A window that was already opening.
Mallory left the office as quickly as she could.
Her head buzzed with excitement and dread so tangled together she couldn’t tell where one ended and the other began.
The research potential thrilled her, a real chance to contribute something real and something meaningful.
But the cost loomed large. Both financially and emotionally.
Her parents’ reactions were exactly as she’d expected.
“You’re going there again?” her mother demanded over the kitchen table with disbelief etched into every line of her face.
“Yes, mom, back to Onyxheim,” Mallory repeated and fought to keep her voice steady. “Back to the Northlands.”
Her father folded his arms. “Didn’t you get enough when you went there the first time? And come back… different?”
Mallory flinched. “I came back more experienced.”
“You came back heartbroken,” her mother reminded her softly, which somehow hurt more.
“This is for my studies,” Mallory insisted. “Really. This isn’t for a holiday. It’s to find a rare medicinal plant. My professor wants original field research.”
Her parents exchanged a look that said they didn’t completely believe her. To be fair, she couldn’t blame them.
“And this has nothing to do with that man?” her father asked. “Jakob, was it?”
Mallory stood and scraped her chair against the floor. “I’m not having this conversation.” Talking about Jakob was not something she wanted to right before heading back into his territory.
“Mallory, please,” her mother begged.
“I’ve already taken out the loan,” she informed them in no uncertain terms. The words tumbled out before she could soften them. “I leave in two days.”
Thick and heavy silence followed her admission. She waited.
Her mother’s eyes filled with worry. “You don’t have to prove anything to anyone.”
Mallory’s throat tightened. “That’s not why I’m going. I have to do this for school and my future.”
She just didn’t know who she was really doing it for.
Two days later, the flight north was too long and far too quiet.
Mallory stared out the window as clouds gave way to jagged stretches of snow and mountains. Her reflection was faint in the glass window and she could see the confusion in her gaze. She wanted to see Jakob but she was afraid she’d run into him.
She told herself to focus on her notes and the plant and its rumored properties she was after. But all the data points and observation methods escaped her mind.
Instead, Jakob’s face kept intruding.
The memory of his warm and steady hands every time he saved her. The way his voice softened in ways she had only heard for her. The way he’d looked at her the last time and the battle in his eyes that were torn between duty and something that had felt dangerously like love.
What if he didn’t want to see her?
What if he did but it changed nothing and she just had to leave again?
Her chest ached with the familiar fear. She would be drawn to him all over again just to be pushed away. That she would discover she still wasn’t enough. She had survived leaving him once, but she wasn’t sure that she was strong enough to survive leaving him, or being rejected, again.
By the time she reached the hotel, her nerves were frayed raw.
She had specifically requested the same room at the same hotel she had stayed at before.
Part of her was nervous that it was a big flashing sign that she was back in town, but the other part told her that Jakob had no idea she was back there but was still thrilled at the off chance he would stop by.
The air in Onyxheim felt different this time.
Colder. Sharper. And charged with memories she hadn’t asked for.
She stood out front of the hotel with her duffel slung over her shoulder. Her heart hammered painfully as she stared at the mountains that rose around her. Snow dusted the peaks like a warning.
Don’t run into him, she prayed silently despite the fact that her heart warred with her head. Please don’t run into him.
She was here for research. Official and pre-approved medicinal studies. That was the excuse.
The truth sat heavy in her chest.
Meg’s trail had led her back here too. She had texted the unknown number when they landed.
She had no idea if anyone would read it, but she had no idea how else to let anyone know she was back in the Northlands.
Despite her assertions to her parents that Meg was not a part of her decision to return, it made the research aspect feel less like an excuse and more like a shield.
Mallory kept her head down as she checked in and felt the first real crack in her resolve right off the bat. The hotel was the same.
The same stone archways, the same welcoming hearth in the corner, and the same faint scent of pine and smoke. Even the desk clerk recognized her and offered a polite nod that made her stomach flip.
Her room once again overlooked the same stretch of frozen valley. She set her bag down slowly and her fingers brushed the edge of the bed. She sat down hard and told herself she didn’t miss him.
That was a lie.
She missed the way he watched over her. The way he made her feel like the world would rearrange itself to keep her safe. She pressed her palm to her chest and breathed through the ache.
Get it together.
She needed something for the jitters. It was later in the day than she normally drank coffee, but the memory of the wonderful local roast had her scurrying out the door.
The hotel café was quiet at that hour, all amber light and soft murmurs.
The scent of roasted beans welcomed her brain and cut through the cold that clung to Mallory’s coat.
She avoided a glance at the table where Jakob had greeted her after the ball.
Despite her need for caffeine, the place held more memories than she had anticipated.
She got in line and found her gaze locked on the table in the corner despite her intentions.
She suddenly wished that Brooke and Violet were with her this time, even though they had all drifted apart after their trip.
Mallory tried not to blame them for being angry at her disappearance, but there was no way to fix anything when she had no answers to offer.
“Black. No sugar.”
The voice made her head whip around so hard she almost cramped up her shoulders. She knew that voice all too well.
Her breath stuttered. No. Not here.
Without even looking up, she knew he was there. Her heart recognized him before her mind ever caught up and her spine stiffened.
She stepped to the side to look at the front of the line as dread crawled up her throat.
And there he was.
Jakob stood at the counter. She could see snow melt into the dark fabric of his coat and was close enough to notice the faint scar along his jaw she used to trace with her eyes when she thought he wasn’t looking. He looked like everyone else here, not a king. He was just a man ordering coffee.
Which somehow made it worse.
This was the last place she would have expected him. She had planned on avoiding anywhere official where he could be. She never expected him to be somewhere before she could brace herself. Especially not on her first day back.
She should run back to her room before he saw her. She took a step backward but couldn’t tear her eyes from him. He was right there and all she wanted to do was run into his arms, not away. Her heart slammed against her ribs as indecision kept her rooted to the spot.
As if Jakob felt her stare, he turned.
Recognition flared instantly, sharp and unmistakable. His expression went still and he looked as if the world had dropped out from under him too. He never picked up his coffee before he crossed the short distance to her.
“Mallory,” he said quietly, like she might disappear if he said it too loud.
Hearing it from him again sent a rush of heat through her chest. She hated how fast it happened. How her body reacted before she could armor herself.
“Jakob,” she replied, proud that her voice didn’t shake. Or didn’t shake much.
The barista cleared her throat. “Next?”
Mallory blinked as the line moved. She stepped forward too quickly, misjudged the distance, and nearly collided with Jakob as he shifted at the same time.
He reached out and steadied her. “Just like old times.”
Her brain refused to cooperate as they stood inches apart.
Too close. Her arm brushed his hand.
The contact was brief and barely there, but it might as well have been lightning.
Her breath caught sharply and her pulse skidded into overdrive. Jakob’s fingers flexed before he released her and dropped his arms to his sides.
“I…I’m sorry,” she said far too fast.
Jakob’s gaze dropped to where their hands had touched, then lifted back to her face. His eyes were darker than she remembered. Or maybe she’d just learned how much meaning they could hold.
“You don’t need to apologize,” he said. His voice was calm, but something strained beneath it. “I should have moved.”
You shouldn’t be here, her mind screamed. I shouldn’t be here.
She focused on her order to the barista and grabbed her coffee when it was handed to her. She clung to the heat of the cup like an anchor. Normal. Be normal.
“So,” she said and gestured to the cup he had picked up. “You… come here often?”
The words were ridiculous the second they left her mouth.
Jakob’s mouth twitched, almost a smile. Almost. “Only when I need caffeine strong enough to keep me functional.”
That small familiarity cracked something open inside her.
Of course he still drank it black. Of course he still stood like he was guarding the entire room without trying.
“I didn’t know you stayed here,” she added, because silence felt dangerous.
“I don’t,” he said. Then, after a pause, “Usually.”
He hadn’t expected to be here either. That this, whatever it was, hadn’t been planned because he knew she had come back. Her chest tightened. She searched his face for answers she was terrified to ask for.
“How long are you in Onyxheim this time?” Jakob asked.
There it was. The question that mattered.
Mallory hesitated just long enough to give herself away. “A few weeks. Research.”
His brows drew together slightly. “Research.”
“Medicinal botany,” she clarified too quickly. She was on full defense. “For school. My term paper.”
She waited for skepticism. For judgment. For him to see through the excuse the way her parents had.
Instead, Jakob nodded slowly. “That sounds like you. You were excited about your courses.”
Something warm and painful unfurled in her chest.
“And you?” she asked. “Still… doing whatever it is you do?”
His lips curved faintly. “Still doing king stuff.” The reminder of her past words almost made her melt.
They stood there, awkward and charged, neither of them moving to leave. Mallory was acutely aware of everything from how close he stood and how the air seemed warmer near him to how her heart hadn’t slowed since the moment she’d heard his voice.
She had told herself she could handle seeing him again. She had been wrong.
Every feeling she’d buried for months surged back to life. The hope, the fear and longing, and the unbearable pull that made her want to step closer even to him as she forced herself to stay rooted.
She could survive rejection again, she told herself. She had survived it before and it hadn’t killed her.
But standing this close to him, with coffee cooling in her hands and Jakob watching her like she mattered, she wasn’t sure she could survive wanting him this much all over again.
Jakob shifted, clearly torn. “Mallory… I didn’t expect to see you.”
“I know,” she said softly.
Their eyes held.
The moment stretched, fragile and dangerous, as if one wrong move would shatter it.
She’d prayed not to see him. Now she couldn’t think of anything she had wanted more, especially since fate had a cruel sense of timing.
And as Jakob’s gaze lingered on her, restrained and achingly familiar, Mallory knew one thing with terrifying clarity. Running into him had never been the real danger.
Staying away from him would be.