CHAPTER 16
Mallory
Mallory had learned in the past twenty-four hours that there were many kinds of silence.
There was the uncomfortable kind like the one that had stretched between her and Jakob the night before as they’d stood in the hotel cafe.
Then there was the comfortable kind of silence like when she lay in his arms with her head on his chest after he had made love to her.
That was the kind that had felt full and complete.
And then there was this.
She stood in the middle of her hotel room with her arms crossed while she watched Jakob pace like a man trying to outrun his own thoughts. He had jumped out of bed and dressed quickly, but he had not sat down again or looked at her for more than a second at a time since.
And then babbled about her necessary move out of the hotel to the castle.
“I just think,” Jakob said carefully mid-pace before he stopped near the window, “that it would be better if you came to stay at the castle for a while.”
Mallory lifted an eyebrow. “A while. Just because?”
“Yes.”
“That’s not a length of time just like that’s not an answer.”
His jaw ticked and she expected an outburst, but instead, he remained calm. “Mallory, please.”
“No,” she interrupted in a quieter tone. “You don’t get to placate me without an explanation. Not after last night.”
That made him look at her. Really look at her.
Something passed between them. It was hard to tell if it was regret or longing mixed with frustration. He scrubbed a hand through his hair. “Last night is exactly why I’m asking you to go with me.”
Her chest tightened. “You said you weren’t going to disappear again.”
“I’m not disappearing.”
“You’re standing in my hotel room telling me to pack up my life for an undisclosed amount of time because of an unnamed danger you refuse to explain, all the while giving off vibes like you can’t wait to get rid of me.
” She dropped her arms. “From where I’m standing, that feels pretty close to disappearing. ”
Jakob exhaled slowly. “There is a threat.”
“You’ve said that.”
“And it’s being handled.”
“You’ve also said that.”
“What I can’t do,” he said with a firmer voice, “is leave you here knowing there’s even a small chance you could be hurt.”
Mallory stared at him. “So instead, you want me locked inside a castle full of armed guards and secrets.”
“Protected,” he corrected.
“Controlled,” she shot back.
That did it. He crossed the room in three long strides and stopped just short of her. “This isn’t about control.”
“Then tell me the truth.”
He opened his mouth.
Closed it again.
There it was. The invisible wall slamming back into place just when she’d started to believe it was gone.
Her voice softened despite herself. “Jakob, we finally talked. You finally let me in. And now you’re shutting me out again.”
His jaw flexed. “I’m trying to keep you alive.”
“And I’m trying to understand why the man who kissed me like he meant it won’t trust me with the reason.”
The silence was sharp and brittle this time.
Finally, Jakob stepped back. “I’ll give you time to think. But my answer won’t change.”
He hesitated, like he wanted to say more. Like he was fighting himself before he turned and left. The door clicked shut behind him.
Mallory sank onto the edge of the bed and pressed her fingers into her temples. So much for clarity.
She knew that she would go with him. On the most basic level, she trusted him implicitly. With her life, when necessary. She exhaled a long sigh and grabbed her suitcase. Luckily she hadn’t unpacked much, and within minutes, she met him in the lobby to head to the castle.
It only grated her nerves a little when he informed her that he had already checked her out of her room while he waited. She resigned herself to the knowledge that she never really had a choice in the matter. What the king wanted, the king got.
She barely remembered the walk back to her assigned quarters, only the echo of Jakob’s voice as he said it was for the best as it looped through her mind like a cruel refrain. He had disappeared shortly after their arrival, and by the time she shut the door behind her, the silence felt unbearable.
She pressed her back to the wood and slid down until she was sitting on the floor.
“So that’s it,” she whispered hoarsely. “I was nothing to him other than a one night fling.” Truth was, she had no idea what anything was.
The thought broke through the tightness in her chest and quiet sobs rocked her shoulders.
A soft knock came a moment later. Mallory stiffened and hastily wiped her cheeks. “Yes?”
“I hope I’m not intruding,” a gentle voice said. “But I believe you are Mallory.”
Mallory opened the door to find a woman standing in the corridor, one who exuded composure and grace. She wore a simple gown rather than royal finery, though the quiet authority in her posture was unmistakable.
“Yes,” Mallory said cautiously. “That’s me.”
The woman smiled, warm and knowing. “I’m Bryn. I’m here at the castle with my husband, Sven.”
Something in her tone made Mallory step aside instinctively. “Please. Come in.”
Bryn seated herself with calm elegance and folded her hands in her lap. Her gaze was kind and perceptive. Far too perceptive for comfort.
“You look like someone who’s just had her heart stepped on,” Bryn said gently.
Mallory let out a shaky laugh. “Is it that obvious?”
Bryn’s smile softened. “Jakob has that effect on people.”
Mallory blinked. “You know about… whatever that was?”
“Oh,” Bryn said lightly, “very much so.”
Mallory’s chest tightened. “Then maybe you can explain why he looks at me like I’m dessert and poison at the same time.”
“Clean yourself up and meet me in the library. Down the hall and to the left.”
Mallory found Bryn an hour later in a quiet sitting room off one of the castle’s lesser-used corridors. Sunlight filtered through tall windows, catching on the pale stone floors. Bryn sat curled into an armchair, boots kicked off, a mug cradled between her hands.
She looked up and smiled immediately. “You look better but you still have the face of a woman who has argued with a very stubborn royal.”
Mallory huffed a weak laugh. “Is it that obvious?”
“Painfully,” Bryn said, gesturing to the chair opposite her. “Sit. Tell me everything.”
“Are you sure? You don’t know me, and it might be a lot. I don’t know if I should be griping about a king.”
“Well, since I’m a queen myself, I think I qualify to listen.”
Her eyes widened. “You are?” Her heart sank at her lack of royal decorum toward the woman. “I thought you were just a friend of Jakob’s.”
“I am. My husband is King Sven of Stagholt. We’re a province over from Onyxheim. And right now, I am just a friend. I’ve been where you are right now, and I would have loved to have someone who understood.” Bryn nodded. “Go ahead. Spill away.”
Mallory didn’t need much encouragement. Something about the woman made her comfortable enough that the words just spilled out. Everything from running into Jakob at the hotel, his refusal to explain, the way it felt like he was retreating just when she’d started to feel a connection with him.
“And he keeps saying there’s danger,” Mallory finished, staring at her hands. “But he won’t tell me what kind. Or from who. Or why it suddenly matters now.”
Bryn’s expression sobered. “You know about the Ruecrags.”
“I know they’re bad guys,” Mallory said dryly. “That’s pretty much the extent of it.”
Bryn nodded slowly. “Then yes. That’s likely the danger.”
Mallory’s head snapped up. “You know?”
“I know enough,” Bryn said carefully. “Sven and I are here to help Jakob handle them. We had trouble with a different group of them in Stagholt so it made sense for us to travel here to assist.”
Mallory’s stomach dropped. “So it’s real.”
“Very.”
“And he’s protecting me from them.”
“Yes.”
Mallory swallowed. “Then why won’t he just say that?”
Bryn studied her over the rim of her mug. “Because that’s not how royals are taught to love.”
Mallory frowned. “That sounds ominous.”
Bryn smiled sadly. “Royals are raised to see people as vulnerabilities. The more you care, the more exposed you are. So when someone matters…” She hesitated. “You don’t draw them closer. You shield them. Even if it hurts.”
Mallory let that sink in. “So pushing me away is his version of caring.”
“In his mind,” Bryn said gently, “yes.”
Mallory laughed, sharp and humorless. “That’s a terrible system.”
“It is,” Bryn agreed without hesitation. “But it’s deeply ingrained.”
Mallory leaned back in her chair. “Do you think he loves me?”
The question hung between them, both fragile and terrifying.
Bryn didn’t answer right away.
When she did, her voice was sure. “Jakob doesn’t risk this much for people he doesn’t love.”
Mallory’s throat tightened. “Then why does it feel like I’m losing him?”
“Because love, when you’re royal,” Bryn said softly, “often looks like fear.”
Mallory closed her eyes.
Fear of what could be taken. Fear of what could be used. Fear of what could be destroyed.
She thought of Jakob’s face last night when it was unguarded and real. And then how he had been when he’d stood in her hotel room just this morning, guarded and distant.
Same man. Different instincts.
“When Sven first realized how serious things were getting,” Bryn continued, “he tried to hide me away to keep me safe. I nearly threw something at his head.”
Mallory smiled faintly. “What changed?”
“I refused to be protected in ignorance,” Bryn said. “I told him that loving me meant trusting me with the truth including even the ugly parts.”
Mallory opened her eyes. “And?”
“And he learned,” Bryn said simply. “Slowly. Badly. But he learned.”
Hope flickered in her heart, small but persistent. Mallory stood. “Then I guess I need to decide if I’m willing to live inside his fear or challenge it.”
Bryn rose too. She reached out and squeezed Mallory’s hand. “Just remember that he’s not pulling away because he wants to. He might feel like he needs to.”
Mallory nodded. “He’s pulling away because he feels it’s what I need.”
As she left the library, the castle felt different. She ran her hand along the wall. Now it felt less like a fortress and more like a question.
And Mallory wasn’t sure yet how she was going to answer it.