5. Montana
five
Montana
Dickface: Baby girl, will you please talk to me.
Me: Does a bear shit in a toilet?
Dickface: wtf, Montana.
It’s been a week since I saw Rocky at the Fourth of July celebration. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to kiss him, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I’m just not ready to put my heart out there yet. Especially when he seems like a player. He fits the profile—tall, jock, tattoos, and muscles. I know one heartbreak shouldn’t have made me closed off, but it’s the betrayal that locked my feelings. When Dylan slept with my best fucking friend without even remorse, it broke something inside of me.
I mean, yes, Rocky is a dreamboat but that’s the problem. He looks like the bad boy waiting to crush you. I could be totally wrong but how can I not go there? Sometimes, when you judge a book by its cover, you end up being correct in the end.
But sometimes you’re wrong. Hush up brain, not now.
The one person who promised to not hurt me did. I trusted him, I loved him, and in the end it meant nothing in his heart. Do people understand that you can’t claim to love someone, then cheat on them with their best friend?
Groaning, I get up and get ready for the day. I go for my run a little faster than usual due to my racing mind. I almost ran right past Autumn because of my blinding thoughts. I walk the rest of the trail with her, where we talk about anything and everything. It feels great to distract my mind for twenty minutes. Leaving her brother out of our conversation, of course. As we reach the end of the trail, I roll my eyes remembering I have to get my new computer today.
She embraces me in her arms as I hug her tight.
“Make sure you don’t drink water near your laptop again,” she says as she laughs loudly.
“It’s not my fault my water wanted to drown my laptop,” I playfully argue back with a smile.
Since my MacBook stopped working, I need to go get another one. I accidentally spilled water all over it, and it won’t even turn on anymore, it’s completely dunzo. Man, I watch too much Laguna Beach .
I head to the campus bookstore where I pick out my new MacBook and then I spot a new olive-green backpack. It’s my favorite color, so I have to get it. As I’m heading to the checkout, I see they have a spicy book section, so I need to stop. I’m browsing through the shelves of smut as I reach the top shelf to pick up a hockey romance. I open it up to the middle of the book, and it blesses me with a steamy scene the cover promised.
I’m so immersed with reading it, I don’t even realize someone is behind me. I turn and see Rocky is standing directly behind me, reading the same scene as me. His eyebrows are raised, and he has that signature smirk on his lips. I blush and close the book quickly.
“Dirty girl books, huh?” he says, trying not to burst out laughing.
“Yes, I love a good smutty book, thank you very much.” I shrug my shoulders like it's no big deal.
“Where else do we get our smut-education from?” I ask as his hand brushes against my shoulder.
“Where do you find your dirty textbooks?”
“The university of Bookstagram, of course.”
Deep down, I’m embarrassed that he’s seen me, I don’t think my light brown skin can blush, but if it could, I’d be blushing.
Whatever, I'm buying it. While I’m at it I also pick up a book about this horse trainer dating her ex-boyfriend’s dad and he’s a cowboy. Scandalous . I love a good age gap.
“What are you doing here, Killer, other than buying smutty books?” Rocky asks as I continued to peruse the shelves.
“I spilled water on my laptop, so I came to buy a new one with my student discount. I also want this new backpack and I need film for my Polaroid camera.”
“Olive green, huh?” he speaks, winking with confidence.
“Mm-hmm, it’s my favorite color.”
“Good to know. What’s the Polaroid camera for?”
“Well, my parents met in college, and they had this thing where they made a bucket slash fuck-it list. They took Polaroids to record themselves completing tasks and made a scrapbook. My mom was a photographer, and she loved capturing memories in the moment,” I say, while looking at the ground.
I think back on the time when I was eleven and I got in a fight with Talon. I was sad and my mom suggested that I make him a card, so she grabbed our old Polaroid pictures. I grabbed some colorful paper and made him an ‘I’m sorry’ card with a picture of him as Captain America, and me as Captain Marvel.
He smiles thoughtfully. “That is impressive. “
I look up at him, and this time my embarrassment turns into affection.
“Look, Montana. About what you said at the lake on the fourth, I know you don’t know me very well. But I want to change that, I don’t want your thoughts of me to be bad, so I want to clarify, I’m not dating anyone. Not even entertaining a situationship, I hate that type of relationship. I haven’t dated in a while because no one has even caught my eye the way you have. I know you just got out of a relationship, so if you want to start with a friendship to see where that goes, I would like that, and I’ll help you check off some of that list you have.” He gives me a shy smile.
Those damn dimples.
It’s quiet between us for a few moments before he breaks the silence.
“Would you want to maybe go out on a date with me so you can get to know me better?” he asks while rubbing the back of his neck. Of course, he has that damn backwards hat on—such a tease.
I stand there for a few minutes before I remember how to speak. “Why me?” is all that comes out.
Why me is all I can think. We literally just met and I’m not exactly a ray of fucking sunshine these days.
“Because there is something about you that I just want to get to know. You’re beautiful, funny, and I know you just got out of a shitty relationship, but we can take it as slow as you want.”
I smile. “This is your idea of slow, Savage?”
He smiles then laughs. He has a gorgeous smile with his straight white teeth, even though one at the bottom sticks out just a bit more than the rest. I think certain things that make people insecure should make them feel unique.
“I also just wanted to say thank you for bringing my sister to the party. She doesn’t have many friends and well, thank you for being her friend,” he says.
I stop at the register to pay for my stuff. I look at him like he has two heads. I don’t think anyone has ever thanked me for being their siblings' friend. As we’re walking out, he holds the door open for me.
I open my mouth to speak when someone walks up to us—well, to Rocky—she’s beautiful and tall. In retrospect, everyone is taller than me. She’s maybe five-foot-six and looks like a dancer or a cheerleader. She has long, blonde hair—very stereotypical, I know—and she kind of looks like Khaleesi from Game of Thrones , maybe her ears are actually pointed. I have this thing where I connect people with TV show characters. I know, weird.
She walks up to Rocky, twirling her hair between her fingers, batting her eyelashes and smiling up at him, talking to him like I’m not even here. Rude as hell .
Rocky interrupts her and introduces us. When I put it together, I realize she’s the same one that I saw at the lake, the one who always wanted his attention.
“Addison, this is Montana.” He puts his arm over my shoulders and looks at me and says, “Montana, this is my friend Addison.”
Whew, if looks could kill I'd be sixteen feet under. I don’t think she liked being friend zoned just now.
“Nice to meet you.”
“The pleasure is all mine.”
“Well, I wanted to talk to you because we got our picks for senior baskets this year and I got you.” She smiles at him. “I just can’t wait to make it special for you.”
I’m sure she can’t. I roll my eyes.
“Cool. Can’t wait to see what goes in the basket this year,” he replies nicely.
I’m beginning to see he is just nice. Not flirty with girls who throw themselves at them. Is he oblivious maybe?
“Well, I was also wondering if we were going to the football banquet this year together, again?” she asks, as if she is trying to rub it in my face.
“Nah, I think this year if everything goes how I want it, I'll have a date,” he says while smiling down at me.
Swoon.
I smile back up at him, rolling my eyes. Damn, he is not making this easy at all. He’s playing dirty.
She smiles a fake smile and excuses herself, saying she would see him later. Oh, I bet she will try to see him later. I’m not for this. The date is not a great idea.
“Look, Rocky, about the date and your sister,” I start.
“What about them?” He looks at me nervously.
“Can we go somewhere and talk?” I ask him as I feel my palms starting to sweat.
We head to a diner that I loved when I was younger—my parents used to bring me here all the time. Mickey's Diner is a place where I still feel close to them.
“Everything is great here; you can’t go wrong with anything,” he says.
I look around and see an album of pictures on the wall including my dad and uncle, and I internally wince. Please, don’t start crying . Why of all places did we have to come here? Rocky means no harm in it; he doesn’t know that just walking through the door is a stab to the heart.
We walk past the wall of pictures; he doesn’t mention them and neither do I. The place is cute, though. It’s like a 50s diner with a jukebox that I am eyeing and wanting to go see what songs they have.
“Want to go see what they have and pick a song?” Rocky asks as he hands me coins.
“Umm, actually, yes. I’ll be right back,” I say softly with a smile.
I walk to the jukebox and play a song that’s been living rent free in my head since I met Rocky.
“What song is this?” he asks when I sit back down at the table.
“ How Do I Do This by Kelsea Ballerini,” I reply.
“I’m really liking the lyrics to this song. You have a little black dress, huh? I’d love to see that,” he says with a grin.
“I bet you would like to see me in it, or maybe lose it on a floor that isn’t mine?” I reply. Kill. Me. Now. Because I can’t believe I just said that out loud.
“Well, if it’s anyone’s floor, it’s going to be mine,” he speaks.
“Is that right?” I ask with my brow raised.
“Sure is, Killer.” He says looking me dead in my eyes and, in that moment, “Okay” almost slips past my lips. But then I’d have to run and join the witness protection program. Goodbye!
I’m looking at the menu, trying not to embarrass myself and figure out what to say to him, that’s rated G, but he makes me flustered.
The server walks up and introduces herself. Thank you, sweet baby Jesus, that she walked up at that moment. Girl power, girls know girls.
“I’m Liv, what can I get you today?” she asks, eyeing up Rocky like she’s about to score the last donut in the box. “We can start with you.”
We order our meals; he orders a cheeseburger and fries with a Neapolitan shake, and I ordered the same food with water and Dr. Pepper instead of the shake.
“Dr Pepper, huh? Should have known, since you drank it at the lake.” He smirks at me.
I shrug my shoulders and say, “That's my favorite. You were paying attention.”
“When it comes to you, absolutely.”
Our server brings the food and lingers a bit more, looking at Rocky.
Sheesh, is it always like this?
“Yup,” he says, popping the p.
I look up to see amusement in his eyes and she huffs and walks away.
“Oops. I didn’t mean to say that out loud.” I shrug, then add, “Look, about what you said about your sister. You don’t need to thank me for being her friend. She’s sweet, and after what my best friend did to me, I'm kind of standoffish but it felt like she was too. It feels like we’re kindred spirits in a way, like I’ve known her my whole life,” I say then take a sip of my drink.
He sighs and says, “Autumn has been through so much, so her telling us she made a friend is big for her. Sometimes, when people find out who I am to her or our dad, they use her to get to us,” he says while sighing roughly.
“Yeah, I can understand that more than you know,” I grumble.
“What?”
“Nothing, never mind…anyway, just know that me and your sister are friends regardless of what happens between us. Which brings me to the date you asked me on.” I sigh and add, “Look, Rocky, I just got out of a relationship with a football player, and he cheated on me. I see how the female population looks at you. I can’t and won't go through that again.”
“Well, if it makes you feel any better…if you and my sister become best friends, you won't have to worry about me cheating on you with your bestie,” he says with a big old Cheshire grin.
I laugh so hard that the sip I took almost comes out my nose.
Okay, Rocky, five points to Gryffindor.
“Too soon?”
“No, I’m glad I can laugh about it. It just shows Dylan wasn’t for me,” I say while shrugging my shoulders.
“In all seriousness, Montana, I haven’t dated seriously in college. Don’t get me wrong, I did have a girlfriend who I was with for less than a year. Only to find out she was being horrible to my sister; she didn’t ever tell me. I found out when I walked into the room when she was telling my sister how much everyone hates her and how the world would have been better off without her. My sister slapped her and then she saw me and was so scared I didn’t see any of the interaction. My girlfriend at the time ran into my arms and tried to play it off. Before this happened, I would walk in on my sister going off on my girlfriend and I never let her talk. So, I promised from then on to have a more open relationship with her, but it wasn’t the same. Autumn closed herself off after some shit went down at her senior prom.”
We’re quiet for a moment. Sitting and looking into his eyes, I know he is telling me the truth. But the question is, am I ready to open my heart up again?
“I know we just met, and I can’t explain what I feel. I feel like I’ve known you forever, but I know if you give me a chance, I’ll show you that not all guys are the same. My parents met in college, and they are literally still obsessed with each other.” He looks into my eyes.
“I understand what you mean about your parents because I feel the same about mine, and have always wanted what they have,” I say as I cross my arms over my chest.
“What if we start off being friends first? Then see where this goes, but I do ask if you don’t want to be with me or if you meet someone else, please just let me know.”
I look at him. I mean, I really look at his face. He has a five o’clock shadow on his face and it looks so good. I wonder how it would feel against my thighs. He licks his bottom lip, and damn, I haven’t seen anyone sexier than him. It’s hard to believe that he wants me. I’m usually very confident, but this last year had put my confidence in the grinder.
“I can’t lie and say that I don’t want to get to know you more, so if you are okay with going slow, then I would love that. I’ve just been through a lot this last year and I don’t want to push you away, but if you are really okay with slow then okay. I only have one condition—I know you are the quarterback and there will be women throwing themselves at you, but don’t break my heart, Savage.” I sigh.
“Baby, I’m a one-woman man. When I first saw you, something in me switched. I want to get to know you, and only you. There’s no one else. One day, Killer, I'll know all your secrets,” he says as he scans my body with his eyes.
“Only two can keep a secret, if one of them is dead,” I say and laugh.
“Oh my god, no wonder you and my sister get along. She loved Pretty Little Liars too.” He smiles brightly at me.
“So, can I get your number?” He smirks at me.
“Smooth, Savage, real smooth. Sure, you can have it.”
“What, it got me your number, didn’t it?” He smiles that million-dollar smile at me.
Yeah, one day. Hopefully he doesn’t change the way he looks at me when he finds out my secret.