13. Montana
thirteen
Montana
Waking up, I feel refreshed. Today is going to be a great day. When I go for my run, I process what Rocky and I talked about. He had to leave late last night because he didn’t have his stuff for practice today.
I’ve never felt more wanted than I do with him, but I’m also pissed off about the whole situation, so I let it out on my run. I cannot believe she felt the need to put me down in order to get a guy. Women are supposed to encourage each other, we already have so much going against us, we need to stand together. You know, fuck the patriarchy and shit.
After my run, I start the cool down walk back to my apartment when a text comes in from Autumn.
Autumn: Hey girlie, you busy?
Me: Just walking home from my run. I was thinking about going to the campus bookshop and then stopping at Rocky's practice. I'm going to hit the gym too. Wanna come?
Autumn: Sure! I’ll meet you there!
Me: Ok! Give me an hour.
Autumn: See you then
“Autumn, you can tell me to go squat in a cactus patch if you want, but do you go to therapy?
“No.” She almost whispers it.
“I know we haven't known each other for long, but I consider you a friend and I think you should consider going.”
“Yeah, my family has been trying to tell me to go, but I didn’t think I needed it.”
“Look, I'm going to be honest with you. You are beautiful but because of the shit that happened to you in the past, you don't see what I do. You won't ever be able to let anyone in or trust them if you don’t. Growing up, I was bullied too, but I’ve always loved my curves. It’s good to go, but only when you are ready.”
She bites her lip. “Will you help me find a therapist?”
“Of course. I know a great one. Let’s go to the bookstore and get some more smutty books and find our newest book boyfriend.” I wiggle my eyebrows and shimmy a little dance.
She laughs as we walk inside the store.
As we’re browsing the books, I stop when I see one that I’d like. The back says it’s about a single dad, who’s also a cowboy, and has to hire a nanny he “hates.” As I’m flipping through the book, I roll my eyes when I hear Addison's nasal voice. She's talking to her friends, but as they walk by and see me, she starts getting louder with her story.
“Last night, Rocky came over to build my bookshelf. I ordered us pizza and we watched Netflix. Then it was like he couldn’t keep his hands off me, and we finally hooked up.”
One of her little minions says, “Oh my gosh, girl, he is so fine. You’ve wanted him forever. I just knew he would see you as more than a friend sooner or later. I’m just so glad he came to his senses and picked you over Montana, I seriously don’t know what he saw in her.”
“Yeah, I mean I don’t want to give too much away but the way his tattooed hands and arms were holding me. I get goosebumps just thinking about last night. And you are so right, I don't know what he was thinking when he was with her, he even said so last night.” She nods and her friends eat that shit up.
There’s a collective “Awe.”
I roll my eyes. Autumn’s standing next to me, looking like a deer in headlights. I'm sure Rocky got home late and didn’t have time to fill his sister in.
I, on the other hand, am giddy. I turn around and look at them with my resting bitch face turned up to one hundred. She wants to stand there and act like she didn’t know I was one step away. This girl is as fucking crazy as the ones in the true crime documentaries that I watch. I laugh at myself a little bit, thinking of seeing her on one in the near future. Well shit, I hope it's not my ass she chops up.
“Oh my gosh, Montana. I didn’t realize you were standing there.” She smirks at me.
Hoebag. I know, I know what I said about girl power and shit, but fuck, man, she makes it so hard to be a girls’ girl when she is a raging bitch.
“Really? Because as soon as you realized I was here, you started talking louder.”
The bitch smiles at me and says, “Well, now you know what happened last night, it was inevitable. We were best friends and now we both want to be more than friends.” She shrugs flipping her hair off her shoulder.
“Oh, word? So, you two are like a thing now?” I raise my eyebrow at her statement.
Autumn cuts in and whispers, “Montana, maybe we should go.”
“Oh no, girl, I'm fine. I want to hear what else Addison has to say.”
“Well, we did hook up last night like I said, and he said he wanted to be with me. Maybe he just hasn’t told you yet.” She picks up a book and pretends to be interested in it.
“Really? Because that’s not what I heard had happened. Rocky came to my house last night and told me a funny story. No really, I laughed my ass off.”
She puts the book back on the shelf and sneers at me.
I turn my head to ask Autumn a question. “Autumn, you want to hear what really happened last night?”
“What happened?” she asks while nodding.
I turn back to face the three wannabe plastics. “Rocky did go to your house last night, that much is true. But what you failed to mention is that you came onto Rocky. Sat on his lap and kissed him. He didn’t wrap his arms around you though, did he? No, he dropped you on your ass and asked what the fuck you thought you were doing.”
“Shut up! You and your friend look like Oompa Loompa’s. He shouldn’t be with you! Why don't you go back under the rock where you came from and leave Rocky to someone who deserves to be on his arm. You aren’t deserving of him; I don't know what he sees in you. You should really leave Rocky and the other football players to us,” she screeches.
“Wow, is that all you have to say? I don’t belong on his arm? Why? The only comeback you have is to talk about my looks? Well, let me break it down for you, Addison. I love my curves. As a matter of fact, so does Rocky. I happen to think I’m beautiful inside and out. I would never mention someone’s looks as a degrading remark. It’s not a fucking comeback. Being fat isn’t worse than being a horrible human being. You have no idea what I have been through. You don't even know me as a person, you only see me as someone standing in your way. You thought that by calling me out, it would make him see you as someone more than a friend, because you think you are prettier than me because of the size of your pants.
“That really is a shame. That’s on you, though. I’m a fucking delight. Also, you need to watch your fucking mouth when you talk about my friend. I don't know who raised you, but I hope your parents take a long, hard look in the mirror, and if they know the kind of daughter they’ve raised, well, shame on them too. You can talk about me, call me names. Do your worst, but if you think for one second , that I’ll let you talk about my friend… You. Are. Wrong. Come near her again and I promise I'll give you something to talk about.”
They all gasp, and as I start to pull Autumn away, I stop and look over my shoulder to tell her one last thing.
“And Addison, you fucking wish we looked like Oompa Loompa’s because you know damn well, we look bomb as fuck. And one more thing, if you touch my man again, I will wipe that stupid smirk off your face. Stay the fuck away from him. He. Is. Mine.”
I smile at them, and as we walk away, I turn to Autumn and ask, “Are you okay?”
“You stuck up for me?” she says, but it comes out more like a question than a statement.
“Why wouldn’t I? You’re my friend.”
She has tears in her eyes as she says, “I’ve never had anyone in my corner who would stand up for me before you.”
“Oh honey, please know that no matter what size you are, you are beautiful inside and out. I look at you and see a total knockout. You need to understand something, when people can only call you fat as a way to degrade you, I need you to remember that’s all they have. You are more than your pant size. You are kind, beautiful, and smart too. If someone as a friend or romantic partner can’t see that then it's their loss, not yours. Let me tell you something else, the boys who made fun of you in high school will all be in your DMs because baby you are gorgeous!” I say, and she smiles.
“Thank you. Thank you for sticking up for me, for being kind, and making me feel like I'm more than my weight. I didn’t know that was the same Addison my brother used to talk about. She‘s a horrible person.” She shakes her head in disbelief.
I scoff. “She’s Regina George before getting hit by a bus.”
We start laughing and I wrap my arm around her shoulder and say, “Let’s go see some hot football players.” I wiggle my eyebrows, and we walk towards the field.