Chapter 10
LEAH
Ileave Eliza with Iliya after some coaxing and reassurances from Viktor that my daughter will be fine.
We make an odd picture as we sit in the waiting room at my OB-GYN's office—an enormous, growling, glowering bear of a man, stuffed into a chair beside the children's table as Eliza colors in a coloring book and chats in an endless stream about all the ocean animals she's learned about lately and how she's going to swim with a whale shark one day.
I was surprised Eliza agreed to stay with Iliya. But then again, I shouldn't be too surprised; even at seven years old, Eliza is hard to intimidate, and she's far more outgoing than I am. She's like my mom in that way.
Viktor hangs back politely as the nurse checks my weight and gives me the cup to pee in, and he's already in the room when I emerge, standing calmly in a corner facing the door.
It's a bizarre feeling to have him in here with me.
I've gone to my first couple appointments alone, without Suzie, even because it's not like I haven't done this before.
These are the early stages anyway, and I'm not even showing yet.
I can see the change in my body, in the way my clothes fit, but no one else has noticed so far.
"If you're uncomfortable with me here—" Viktor begins, but I shake my head.
"No, it's fine. "
I climb onto the exam table and take a seat, the paper crinkling noisily under me.
Then the room falls silent. Viktor looks entirely at ease and unruffled, every hair in place, not a single wrinkle on his suit, not a scuff on his shoes.
But I don't know what the hell to say because there's so much all at one time.
"How have you been?" Viktor's voice finally breaks the silence. He's observing me curiously, as though he can somehow learn more about me through osmosis or something.
"I've been okay," I reply, even though we both know there's so much more to say.
"And the pregnancy? Are you healthy? Is the baby healthy?
Have you been too uncomfortable?" Viktor asks in a way that makes me think that if he’d been around for the first trimester, my life might have been a little bit easier, especially when I was lying on the bathroom floor, afraid to stand up out of fear I'd throw up, while Eliza sat in front of the TV, binge-watching cartoons for the first time in her life.
"The baby's fine. I'm fine. We're both growing and gaining weight." I flush once more as I say the last part, realizing Viktor probably doesn’t want to know I'm gaining any more weight than I already have. But if he thinks that, he doesn't show it. Instead, he steps closer.
"Is there anything you want? Anything you need? Anything at all?"
"No, I'm fine. I have everything I need, and now that the exhaustion and morning sickness have gone away, I'm feeling good."
It's sweet of him to ask; he seems so concerned.
It's undoubtedly more than Eliza's father ever did.
It's more than Peter ever did, if I'm being honest. I've counted my lucky stars many times that, even before his accident, I didn't get pregnant with his child.
I certainly didn't need another deadbeat dad in my life.
But I also don't know what kind of father Viktor will be. I still don't know much about him, or if he even wants this baby.
"I know you just found out and all, but I want you to know that you don't have to do anything special.
I'm having this baby no matter what, and I'm not looking for handouts or help.
I'm okay on my own. I have Suzie and our neighbor Jade to help, and I've already done this once before, so you're not obligated to help or pay for anything.
I'm not going to take you to court or anything like that. "
Viktor moves close, standing at the edge of the table, his eyes intensely focused on mine in a way that makes it difficult not to look away.
"I will not leave you alone with a child.
That would be irresponsible and would be shirking my duty as half of the party that created this little thing between us.
" Again, an enigmatic smile dances around Viktor's mouth, never becoming a full grin, but leaving evidence of itself in his eyes.
"I take responsibility for my actions, no matter what that looks like.
I am a man of honor, and I will be a part of this child's life in whatever way you will have me. "
All I can do is stare at Viktor for a long moment, and I close my mouth when I realize it's been hanging open.
It's sad that I find a man simply taking responsibility for his actions as incredible and shocking as I do. But I do. I'm actually close to tears, though I won't let him see it.
I take a breath to respond, but a swift knock on the door erases my words. The door opens to reveal the ultrasound tech pushing the machine into the room.
"Miss Walters?"
The tech doesn't look up as she asks my name, instead focusing on setting up her machine.
Viktor steps back to give her room, and the woman doesn't even notice him at first. But I can tell the moment she does, however, because her quick, efficient movements halt suddenly and her mouth drops open.
She swallows, closes her mouth, and continues setting up the ultrasound machine.
I sit back as she's doing this, and after a moment's hesitation, indicate that Viktor is welcome to stand by my other side. He does so, and I can't help the small flutter I feel at his closeness, at the sense of strength and solidness beside me.
The tech pushes my sweater up to reveal my stomach, tucking the fabric up under my bra with a glance at Viktor that says volumes.
She flicks off the light and sits on the stool.
I wonder if Viktor has ever been to an ultrasound before.
Had he been an absentee father with Peter?
Had he been involved during the pregnancy?
Because he watches the tech as she squirts jelly on the ultrasound wand before pressing it to the place just above where our baby sleeps.
Sonographic technology has improved significantly since I was pregnant with Eliza, but I’m still amazed at how clearly I can see the still-forming child.
"Your little guy’s right there, Mama." She points to the screen as though the baby isn’t clearly visible, then glances at Viktor.
As the tech clicks around and takes various measurements, I watch the miracle on the screen in front of me.
At nineteen years old and pregnant with Eliza, barely into my first year in college and wondering what the hell I was going to do, seeing her on the ultrasound images had still been an incredible experience.
The idea that I could grow a new life, that it was forming hands and fingers, and moving, and sucking its thumb—it all seemed like magic to me.
I tear up a little bit, the image on the screen blurring into indistinct light and dark. I'm so intent on my own experience that it surprises me when a shift occurs beside me.
I look up to find Viktor watching the screen intently. His expression is still guarded, still calm and cool, but there's an edge to him, a tightness to his shoulders and jaw, a glimmer in his eye as he stares at the screen that leaves me practically breathless.
I think Viktor is stunned.
And that makes me tear up even more. This is the first time I've ever been with anyone but Suzie and my mom.
For just a moment after I found out I was pregnant with Eliza, even though I was terrified, I had imagined her father and me in the ultrasound room, sharing a precious moment over our child, just like in TV shows and movies.
Of course, that never came to pass, but it had been just as amazing to watch my mother's and Suzie's faces light up with joy as Eliza grew within me.
Having the father of the child here, just as amazed at the miracle in front of us as I am, is an entirely different experience.
I have a feeling Viktor rarely shows much emotion at all; he carefully crafts his image and sticks to it like double-strength superglue.
So I feel like I'm probably witnessing an incredibly special moment, a moment he wouldn't want anyone else to see.
I feel honored and, of course, extremely emotional to be able to watch his first reaction to his child.
Neither of us says a thing as the tech finishes up the ultrasound, flips the lights back on, and leaves.
Her parting words as she wheels the cart out the door are that the doctor will be in to see us soon.
We're silent as we wait. We're nearly silent as the doctor comes in and starts chatting about weight, growth, and development, all of which our baby is doing perfectly.
Viktor doesn’t step away again, remaining at my side. He doesn't talk until the doctor steps out to write me a prescription for a different type of prenatal that doesn't upset my stomach quite as much.
"I want you and Eliza to move in with me."
It takes me a moment to understand what he's saying, and another moment to process what that means.
"Viktor, we barely know each other… I'm not going to cut you out of this baby's life, but that’s a little too much too soon."
He doesn’t say anything at first, so I continue. "I'm not uprooting Eliza like that. I just..." I'm honestly unsure what else to say in response to such a lunatic request. No, now that I think about it, it wasn't a request. There was no question mark implied at the end of the statement.
"You misunderstand me." Viktor steps closer until he's towering over me, and suddenly his ample size doesn't seem so comforting anymore. "You will move in with me, you and your daughter. That's the best way for me to keep you safe."
"Why the hell would I need you to keep us safe?
We're perfectly safe in our apartment. It's in a good part of town, and a cop lives down the hall. I also have extra deadbolts on the door and an alarm system. And the doorman is incredibly careful; he vets anyone coming into the building. We’re fine.”
Viktor morphs in front of my eyes from the genteel man I’ve seen so far into something more dangerous, more menacing, more commanding. I lean away from the glint in his eyes, which sends a shiver down my spine.
"None of that will save you when my enemies learn you’re carrying my child."
I feel cold, a chill spreading down my limbs and making the tips of my fingers tingle while my stomach begins to churn.
A knock on the door, and the doctor walks back in swiftly, all business as she holds out the prescription for the new prenatals. That is, until she notices the tension in the room and the fact that the temperature has dropped quite a few degrees since she left.
"Are you alright, Miss Walters?" she asks, her gaze going to Viktor, then landing on me.
She gets my attention and holds it meaningfully.
I know I can tell her it's not, and she'll call security.
But what are they going to do about Viktor?
I'd always thought Peter calling his dad a ruthless mobster was an exaggeration.
But I'm starting to think it was the truth.
"I'm okay," I say quickly, probably too quickly, with a smile that's too bright. But I don't want my poor doctor to get pulled into a situation I'm rapidly coming to understand is precarious.
The doctor gives Viktor a long, searching look and leaves. I slip off the exam table, grab my purse, and follow swiftly after her. We pick up Eliza and Iliya on the way out and leave.
My mind is whirling, my hand clutching Eliza's tightly as I wonder what the hell I accidentally got the two of us into, and how I'm going to make sure I can protect my daughter.
"Mom." Eliza tugs at my hand, then points to a little cafe. "Can I get a muffin? You didn't give me my snack in the car."
I'd been so shocked to see Viktor and then to find out he knew about the baby, I'd completely forgotten Eliza's snack.
"Iliya will take her," Viktor says smoothly. "Why don't we go sit in the garden while they get something?" His gesture indicates a small courtyard with roses, trees, grass, and benches.
"Come on, Iliya!" Eliza says, pulling at the big man's paw. The only reaction I see from him is a further tightening of his jaw, but he follows obediently so she can show him their display of muffins.
Viktor leads me into the courtyard, and we sit in a far corner in the sun. It feels good on my face.
"Do you feel a little calmer?" Viktor asks, his voice not quite as scary as before.
"I don't know how I feel," I admit after a long pause.
"I know this is sudden, and very unusual—"
His mouth thins as I snort my opinion on that.
"But this is for your safety, and for Eliza's. You don't even have to think about it as moving in with me but just moving to a new place."
"With lots of extra security and rules and someone watching me twenty-four-seven?" I ask. "No, thank you. Eliza and I are fine, and I'll call you if anything happens. But I'm not giving up my freedom and scaring my daughter just to suit your paranoia."
Annoyance flashes in his eyes, but he doesn’t press. "Okay. It's your choice, but I'll still put extra security in your building. Is that a fair trade?"
I look at him and realize this is the best offer I’m going to get. “Fine.”
"Good." Viktor nods as though we just settled on an agreement between countries instead of the two of us. "I will have someone there tomorrow."
The issue seems settled enough for now, but I still have a lot of questions—questions I'm not entirely sure I want to know the answer to or can handle just yet. Am I actually in danger? Or is there just some weird ploy to get me under his control?