Chapter 9
It took me a lot of years to reach private helicopter status, and these days, it’s the only way I like to get on and off Merit Island.
I actually cringe at the idea of how this girl must have been ferried over here yesterday when she snuck up to my house.
Woman. Victoria is a woman. Not a girl.
I make a mental note to remove the word girl from my thoughts and vocabulary when it comes to her.
I’m still not quite sure what’s going on here, but what I do know is that I couldn’t make myself stop if I tried.
And I am nothing if not the master of my own willpower.
She’s got some kind of draw that I don’t want to ignore. Our time together is…well, it’s fun.
When was the last time I had fun?
Never comes to mind, but that can’t be right, can it? I mean, I raised an entire child, there must have been fun times.
But when I scan back through my memories of Ains’ childhood, the only emotion that rises inside me is fear. I spent his childhood terrified that I would screw him up or let him die and fail to live up to the promise I made to my dying wife.
Take good care of Ainsley, Ben. He loves you so much.
Words I used to write over and over in my dark study at night while he slept in his bedroom. Words I tattooed onto my soul.
And I did take good care of him. I raised him according to the very best advice available on the topic. Gave him every opportunity for education and enrichment. Every opportunity to succeed in life.
Only to have him squander it on a life of?—
“What’s got your face all twisted like that?”
I smile at Victoria”s voice, coming out of the house to join me in the golf cart. “Oh, it’s nothing. Just work stuff.”
Not that this girl, woman dammit, would care that I more or less failed my job as a parent. She has no idea what a commitment like that does to a person, and probably won’t know for years.
Oh, to be young and free again.
“Speaking of work, I kinda forgot that I have a spa center meeting coming up at eleven this morning, so do you think we could head out?”
I glance at my watch. Ten thirty. I grind my teeth just a bit at the thought of her carelessly shirking her responsibilities, but then I hear my dentist’s voice in my head and relax my jaw. “You might be a few minutes late. I can call ahead and let them know if you?—”
“No. No, that’s okay,” she says, far too quickly. “It’s not a huge deal, we’re just going over the schedules for the next few weeks and talking about how the opening went. It’ll be okay if I’m a few minutes late.”
Sounds like a very important meeting to me, but there’s nothing I can do about it, so I just drive off toward the helipad as quickly as I can without looking like a madman.
The helicopter lands on Faraday at ten fifty, not that I’m keeping track.
As we climb out and head toward the waiting golf cart, Victoria pauses and turns to me. “Do you think I could take this one and you could grab another? I mean, I don’t really want to show up at the resort together.”
“Of course. Sure. You go.” It’s only now that I realize I foolishly failed to properly negotiate the terms of our “arrangement” or whatever it is. It makes me feel naked, exposed, and scared to not know the boundaries or rules.
It’s exhilarating. The feeling swells in my chest, and I feel my dick start to harden.
What is going on with me?
“But we need to talk soon about what exactly we’re going to tell people and who is being told.”
Had to go and ruin it, huh, Bentley?
“Oh, sure. I can’t do tonight because I have a super early class in the morning. But soon.”
“Okay.” Letting her leave without a solid plan for when I get to see her again is absolute torture, but what choice do I have? “Have a good day.”
She turns as she slides onto the front bench of the cart, next to the driver, and smiles. “Thanks. You, too.”
And then she’s gone.
Eventually, another taxi comes and takes me to The Sands. I head straight for Sam’s office.
“Hey.”
He looks up from his desk and smiles. “Morning, Ben. I didn’t realize you were still here.”
“I’ve been on Merit…sleeping with one of the resort employees. I’m about to head up to HR to file paperwork. I just thought you should know.”
Sam, bless his heart, doesn”t let out the laugh that clearly accompanies the smile on his lips as he nods. “Okay. Great. I mean, good for you.”
I huff. “It’s probably nothing.”
Sam crosses his arms and leans back in his chair. “Probably nothing?”
“I just mean…” What do I mean? Why did I even say anything and open this line of questioning? Before I know it, I’m going to be spilling my guts out right here in the office for everyone to see.
No better guy to share them with, though, probably.
I sigh. “I like her. We’ve had fun these last few days. But she’s much too young for me, and she lives here, not in New York.”
Sam says nothing, but his eyebrows raise enough for me to know that I’ve sparked his interest.
Like a damn fool, I fall into the oldest trap in the book and keep talking. “She teaches Pilates in the new spa fitness program, so technically she’s a contract worker. I don’t know how I got into this. We met at the bar and she just…I don’t know how to describe it.”
“She picked you up at a bar?”
I laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of his words. “Yeah. I guess so.”
“That’s great, Ben. I’m happy for you.”
Of course he is.
“I trust you’ll do the right thing by the resort, so you’ve got my full blessing. Go have fun.”
I huff out another laugh at this whole situation. “I guess I am having fun.”
“If you’re sticking around for a while, you should come over for dinner one of these evenings. I’ve been working hard on the property, and I’d love to have you out to see it.”
Sam purchased a fixer-upper when we first moved to the island nearly a decade ago and has been slowly turning it into a habitable space. It’s been over a year since I visited him out there, so it’s far overdue.
“Absolutely, man. Let’s make it happen.”
HR signs off on my new entanglement without much paperwork due to the fact that she’s not actually an employee and I don’t actually work at the resort.
Ten minutes later, I’m left with the entire day ahead of me and no idea how to spend it. I know Ave would tell me to relax and enjoy the weather, but I’m no good at relaxing. I need something to do.
But the only thing I want to do is currently in a staff meeting in the basement of my resort.
It’s been an hour. She could be out by now.
That deranged thought only sends me further for a loop. What am I doing here? Chasing this woman around like a puppy dog. I mean, sure, the only thing I want right now is to go find her, but I shouldn’t.
I turn my attention to the only other person on the planet who can fully and completely absorb my attention.My son.
Ainsley lets the call go to voicemail, and I slam my phone down on the table at Reef where I came to have an early lunch. I switch to stalking his socials just as my salad arrives.
His last picture was over forty-eight hours ago, and, while it was location tagged, there’s no reason to think he’s still there. Not even a year ago, I would’ve taken the bait and flown over there, tearing apart the island for him, but I’ve learned my lesson enough times not to bother.
He’s got a tight group of friends who are apparently bankrolling his globetrotting. God knows I’ve shut off his credit cards. The kid’s ability to keep pursuing this lifestyle, even with all my obstacles and backlash, is truly impressive.
Or it would be impressive if it wasn’t so damn infuriating.
I mean, would it be so hard to just go to college? He could get a job that allowed him to travel after graduation. Doctors without borders, the peace corps, or even a goddamn travel journalist. Anything but this.
To be perfectly honest, I don’t even know what he’s doing these days, and maybe that’s the worst part about it. I need him to go to the college I chose for him, get an approved degree, and then he can travel the world.
I do understand that I have control issues. I watch myself behaving this way and am fully aware of the insanity of it. But that doesn’t stop me.
I can let it go when I watch resort employees working in the most inefficient manner possible.
I can keep my mouth shut when my law interns make mistakes and let their supervisors discipline them.
But I cannot stand aside and watch my child ruin his whole life because he doesn”t understand the consequences of his actions.
“Hey, man.”
Avery slides into the booth across from me.
“Hey.”
“How’d movie night go?”
He’s acting casual, but I can see the excitement rippling under his calm facade. And I get it. Having a woman over to the house like that isn’t just unusual for me, it’s unheard of. There have been times in the past when I’ve brought women from the club to Merit, ones I got along with particularly well, but those arrangements were all just that. Arrangements.
And what the hell is this thing with Victoria?
“It went well.”
Avery’s eyebrows raise as he tries to stay calm in the face of my intentional evasion.
“And…”
I smirk at him and lean back in my seat. “And what?”
“And you just had a date for…I don’t know, the first time ever? Give me something, man.”
“I’m going to see her again.”
He shakes his head, snorting out a laugh. “Fine, keep it to yourself. I’ll find out eventually.”
The server stops by our table and takes Avery’s order. I’m grateful for the interruption. I wasn’t expecting it to be so difficult to talk about what seems to be happening between Victoria and me. Usually, I have no problem offering people the truth, even when that truth is complicated or challenging to admit.
With her though, I want to keep it all to myself. Keep her all to myself.
Interesting development.
“You didn’t find Ains, I take it?” Avery cuts into my thoughts with his words, effectively derailing my wandering mind. Back to business.
“No. He took off right before I got here. He’s posting on socials, but I have no idea if he’s still at the places where the pictures were taken. I’m sure it would be pointless to fly over there. I’ll probably do it anyway, just to have some kind of action to take.”
“Let me go.”
I look sharply toward him, our eyes meeting as I try to read his intentions. He knows me too well and glances down at the table.
“Fran and I have a few weeks off between weddings. I’ll country hop for a while, pin him down, figure out what’s going on. You know that’ll go better than if you show up and start reading him the riot act.”
I let out a sigh and shake my head. He’s right, of course, but it’s still challenging for me to let go of control in this situation. If it was any other person offering this, I’d blow them off immediately, but Avery’s got a better chance of securing a positive outcome with the kid than I do at this point.
“Okay.”
If he’s surprised by my sudden relenting, it doesn’t show on his face. “Great.” He smiles up at the server as she sets down his coffee and croissant.
I can’t stop the smile from sneaking onto my face as I recall Victoria showing up at the house with all of her snacks. I actually ate a couple of them, just to stop her from teasing me.
“What’s that look for?”
I fix my face and shake my head. “Nothing. Thank you for going to find Ains.”
“Yeah, man. It’s no problem. What should I do when I find him? I mean, I”ll talk to him, of course, figure out what’s going on. But what’s the desired outcome of all this?”
“He needs to go back to the city and prepare for the new quarter. He’s already enrolled. All he needs to do is show up.”
Avery is giving me that look he gives when he doesn”t quite agree but hasn”t decided if fighting me is worth it.
“What?” I demand.
He cocks his head to the side. “That’s the only outcome that would be deemed a success?”
My temper flares, but I keep it under control. “He’s had a whole year of fucking off to get this out of his system. It’s time for him to show some semblance of adult responsibility and start college. I already enrolled him. I even leased an apartment so he doesn”t have to worry about that.”
“You choose his major for him, too?”
I scowl over at my best friend. “The first two years are general ed. He’ll choose his own major with his guidance counselors when the time comes.”
“Oh, and you’re just going to let him pick whatever he wants? Do you even know what he does on these trips he takes?”
“Party?”
“His last long stay was in Indonesia where he was working with Aid International to build a school.”
“I’m glad to hear he’s so fond of schools. There is a very nice one in Boston waiting for him.”
Avery grins at me, but I can see the pity in his look. He thinks I”m being unreasonable, driving my son away with my unrelenting stance on his future. And maybe I am, but I don’t know what else to do.
“Just get him back to the States, okay? Get him to the estate, and we can work things out.”
“I’ll do my best,” he answers, but I know what that means. Avery accomplishes anything he sets his mind to—just like Ainsley.
It’s a damn shame those two don’t set their sights a little higher.