Chapter 29
When Thursday finally arrives, I’m feeling less confident. I pack on deodorant to keep from sweating through the hot, synthetic fabric of my cheap suit, wishing I’d caved and let Ainsley buy me something nice. But it’s too late now.
“Victoria Easton. I’m here to see Cynthia.”
“Perfect. She’ll be expecting you. Head up to twenty-eight and you’ll see her at reception just outside the elevator.”
I thank the woman and make my way to the bank of shiny, gold elevators.
When the doors finally open on the twenty-eighth floor, I’m a nervous wreck. I suck it up and smile, though, stepping out of that lift like I own the damn place. The woman behind the reception desk looks up from her computer and smiles. “Victoria?”
I nod.
She rises to her feet and comes around to join me on the plush rug surrounded by expensive, comfortable looking chairs, hand outstretched. “Cynthia.”
I shake her hand politely and wait.
“Mr. Adams wants to meet with you personally, and I can’t say I’m all that surprised.”
Her words catch me off guard. I’m not exactly sure what I expected to happen when I finally made it up here. I hadn’t even really expected to make it this far, truth be told. But to be taken straight to Ben’s office as soon as I enter the building? It seems like a stroke of good luck.
Or my worst nightmare about to come true.
Either way, I”m about to find out. The tall, blonde actual professional in her expensive outfit and designer heels leads me down the hallway toward a set of double wooden doors.
She knocks and then opens the doors without waiting for a response, holding one open for me to pass through ahead of her. I walk into the large, airy, bright room with my eyes on my shoes.
“Mr. Adams, this is Victoria Easton,” Cynthia announces as if to the king.
“Thank you. You can leave us,” Ben dismisses her like an actual king.
The sound of his voice after so many weeks threatens to derail my confidence, but I suck the emotions down into the pit of my belly. And, with a deep breath, I finally look up.
Cynthia must leave, and the door must click closed behind her. Possibly, she even says something. I hear none of it, aware only of Ben. His presence is like a magnetic black hole, commanding all the energy in the room.
I stand dumbstruck by the sight of him for a long moment before he clears his throat and stands. I click back into motion and take a step forward. For better or worse, I’m here now. Whatever’s going to happen is going to happen right now.
“Hi,” I say, determined to be brave enough to speak first, even if it’s just one stupid word.
“Hi.” His eyes never leave mine as he walks around his desk and leans on the edge facing me, arms crossed over his chest.
After a long moment, he reaches behind himself and lifts a sheet of paper from the desk, holding it up between us. “This is an incredible work of fiction, Vic. You missed your calling as a novelist.”
“Yes, well. I’m multitalented.”
Ben lets the hand holding the paper drop to one of his thighs and looks down at it, shaking his head.
I’m paralyzed with fear and trepidation, dreading every single life choice I made up to this point, but after a moment, I realize he’s laughing.
Laughing.
He doesn’t look up at me, just continues to shake in near silent laughter. After a moment, the tension in my chest breaks, and I start to laugh as well.
Only then does he seem to remember I”m there and look up at me, his face spread wide with a smile and still laughing. He tosses the paper back onto his desk and crosses his arms, trying to get ahold of himself.
It only partially works. “What did you hope to gain from sending this in? Certainly not a job here.” His voice is still full of laughter.
I shake my head. “Not a job. Just…this. To be here with you. You never answered my calls or texts.”
“I blocked your number.”
Oh, damn.
The thought of him never having read or listened to my texts and voicemails hits me right in the gut like a sucker punch.
Silly little Victoria, operating under the naive, romantic idea that he has been lying in bed, listening to my voicemails and pining over his long, lost love.
He never heard any of them. Never read any of my well thought out reasons or explanations or apologies.
He just hit block and moved on with his life.
“Why…” I struggle to get the words out, struggle to recover from that blow. “Why would you do that?”
Ben’s not laughing anymore. “It seemed like the best thing for both of us.”
I shake my head in disbelief. “The best thing for both of us? I poured my heart out into those texts and voicemails, and you never even got them? I fail to see how that was the best thing for me.”
“Fine. It was best for me, then. I’m not sure what I would…I’m not sure how I would have…” He trails off, uncharacteristically at a loss for words.
“You’re not sure how you would have what? How you would have handled me apologizing and begging you to call me so we could talk? Not sure how you would have reacted to me telling you I was coming to New York?”
I’m getting emotional and I can”t help it. I have this one shot to get through to him and right now, he seems so untouchable.
“You thought I knew you were coming?”
I can’t read his tone and I’m getting desperate. “I thought…I don’t know what I thought.” My eyes fall to the floor, unable to watch him stand there, unmoved, for another second. “I guess this was a mistake. I’ll go.”
I turn and wait for him to stop me. I reach the door, my hand reaching out for the handle. Still nothing.
I grasp the cool metal and start to turn it.
“Wait.”
Relief nearly sends me to my knees. I wait, hand still gripping the handle.
“Let’s just…I don’t know, Victoria. Don’t go, though. Stay a minute.”
It’s something. I turn and lean against the door, watching him go through whatever he’s going through. In true Ben form, he’s still very well composed, but I can see the cracks. I can see him leaning toward me just enough, as if he wants to close the distance between us.
The man reads my mind.
“I need you to know that I could never be seen sharing any kind of personal touch with an intern candidate in my office.”
“Even if that intern candidate is a liar?”
Ben cracks a small smile at that and my heart leaps. “There would still be a lot to explain.”
“Take me home with you, then.” It’s bold, but I’m feeling bold these days. I’ve already lost what I want most in life, there’s no reason to hold back.
He closes his eyes briefly and shakes his head, inhaling slowly and exhaling just as slowly. I’m buoyed by the thought that he’s just as flustered as I am, even if he hides it better.
“There’s a cafe across the street from the building with a red and white awning. Go over there and wait for me.”
My heart is now dancing in my chest. “What should I tell Cynthia?”
“Tell her you made it to the next round.”
I suck in a breath and try to stay calm as I nod and exit the office, closing the door softly behind me. He’s obviously not talking about the next round of interviews, so he must be talking about…
It’s all I can do not to dance down the hallway.
All I wanted was a chance to speak my heart to this man. To plead my case. And it looks like I”m going to get it.