Chapter 24
Quinn
SO MANY RED FLAGS
“I should go.”
Panic runs through me as Jordyn moves through her enormous kitchen, grabbing bowls and silverware out of cabinets and ingredients out of the refrigerator.
“What? Why would you go?”
I narrow my eyes at my new friend. “You didn’t tell me Xander was coming. Or that any of them were coming. I thought we were going to have a girls’ night.”
Jordyn freezes and looks at me in genuine horror. “Oh my God, Quinn. I’m sorry. I thought you would want Xander here. I got the impression you really like him. I can send them away, and we can totally just have a girls’ night.”
She looks around like she isn’t sure what to do. For a second, I’m worried she might cry. “Shit, I’m so bad at this. I don’t have friends, really.”
“It’s okay. I do like Xander, but we agreed last night was a one-time thing. It’s probably not a good idea for me to be friends with you, but I don’t have any girlfriends, either, and you’re so fun and kind. I don’t want him to feel like I’m invading his space.”
We stare at each other for a second before Jordyn comes over and wraps her arms around me. Even though I’m pretty sure we’re close to the same age, I find it comforting to hug her back. Jordyn might be a wildcard, but I get the feeling that she’d burn the world down for the people she cares about.
When we release each other, I look into a bowl of sliced carrots that look a little sad. Not a speck of seasoning to be found. My only hope is that there’s real butter on them.
“Is there anything you want me to do to these?”
Her eyes drop to the bowl, and then she gives me a sheepish smile. “They are from a frozen bag. I don’t really know how to cook, but I’ve made our housekeepers start taking weekends off. Cash does okay on the steaks, so don’t worry, we won’t totally starve.”
I smile and let out a sigh of relief. It’s obvious from her designer clothes and my thrift store Vans that we come from two completely different worlds, but there’s something about Jordyn I connect with. She’s real. And that’s so hard to find in Las Vegas.
“I like to cook. I can season these up a bit if you’d like.”
Jordyn flashes me a big grin. “Girl, you can do whatever you want to any of this. I just put it all in bowls from store-bought containers and hope for the best. I’ll make us a fresh round of drinks, and you can do your thing.”
Laughing, I follow her as she starts showing me where all the spices are before she mixes up some cocktails.
By the time I finish the last side dish, I’ve mostly forgotten that Xander and the other Savage brothers are here. At least until the four of them walk into the kitchen, filling up the large space.
“Something smells delicious,” Xander says as he comes to stand near me at the island while I stir the rosemary and honey-glazed carrots. His voice is low, and when I look up at him, his chest pressed against my shoulder slightly, I get the slight whiff of whiskey on his breath.
A scent that I get a little too frequently from him.
Before tonight, I can’t remember the last time I drank.
I know it’s a me thing, but I’ve always stuck with the rule of not drinking more than once a week.
I never want to take the chance of becoming dependent on it like my mom was.
I never want to be like her. Never want to live like that by choice.
My refusal to drink or party frequently was a problem for Jason.
He told me I was a prude. That I needed to grow up.
What I wanted to say but never did was that I had to grow up when I was five because my mom was hooked on crack, which started out as a problem with alcohol and then escalated from there.
I know enough about addiction to know I can’t control what anyone else does. I can only decide who I surround myself with. It’s something I truly need to think about when it comes to Xander. I don’t know if he has a problem, but I do know I’ve smelled whiskey on him more than I haven’t.
He brushes his hand over my arm and startles me. I look up at him and search his face for answers that I don’t find. God, he’s so beautiful. Not in a typical, societal sense. He’s dark and tortured and broken in a way I don’t understand. I want to, though.
“I didn’t know you were going to be here,” I whisper so only he can hear me, while Jordyn and the other guys talk about when they should pull the steaks off the grill.
“It’s not your fault. It’s my meddling sister-in-law,” he replies with an eyeroll. “I didn’t like that you left your apartment without telling me.”
My mouth drops open. Is he serious? He left.
“How was I supposed to tell you I was leaving? Should I have sent you a message via Morse code? I don’t have your number, Xander.”
For a man I want to understand, I also kind of want to kick him sometimes.
Xander moves behind me and puts his hands on either side of my waist, boxing me in against the counter. His entire family is in the room, though they don’t seem to be paying any attention to us, thankfully.
Then he leans down so his mouth is hovering near my ear. “You’d better watch how you talk to Daddy. I don’t think you want to be sitting on a hot, sore ass while you eat dinner.”
An entire body shiver runs through me. I try to cover it up so Xander doesn’t know how his words affect me, but he doesn’t miss my reaction and gives my butt a gentle tap. “Good girl,” he says quietly before he steps back, leaving me sagging against the counter while my pussy aches.
He can threaten me all he wants, but he can’t be serious about me letting him know I’m leaving my apartment. That’s… unhinged. Red flags galore.
So many pretty red flags.
Fudge.
“Steaks are done,” Kian announces as he walks back into the kitchen with a tray full of meat.
I barely hear him, though. Or anything throughout dinner because I’m too busy squirming in my seat while thinking about Xander making good on his threat to spank me again.
“That was so good, Quinn. Where’d you learn to cook like that?” Beckett asks when he comes into the kitchen with the last few plates.
I smile and shrug as Jordyn and I stand at the counter, rinsing dishes side by side.
“I love experimenting with food. I learned at a young age how to make something delicious out of whatever scraps were in the refrigerator. I never mastered baked goods, though. Keep me away from anything involving dough. I always mess it up.”
Heat spreads over my cheeks as I realize I’ve said more than anyone here needs to know. No one in the Savage family has gone a day in their life wondering where their next meal would come from.
Beckett nudges me gently with his shoulder. Slowly, I look up at him, expecting to see judgment or something, but there is none. Instead, he smiles at me. “Well, if you ask me, I’d say you have real talent.”
Then he walks out of the kitchen, leaving me with Jordyn. I’m not sure where the rest of the guys went. Jordyn told them to get lost so we could do the dishes. It was pretty funny watching her boss them around. I don’t think that woman is scared of anything.
“Is Beckett always so nice?” I ask, handing her a dish.
Jordyn laughs. “Beckett is just… always Beckett. He has a good heart, but he loves to start shit. Especially with his brothers. I can guarantee Beckett’s already made Xander lose his shit over you.”
I let out a huff of disbelief. “I don’t think so. Xander isn’t interested in me like that. It’s just casual, or whatever, between us.”
Even as I say it, I don’t really believe it.
There is nothing casual about the way I feel about Xander.
That’s the scariest thing of all.
Because even if all the stars aligned…
I refuse to be with someone who isn’t in control around drugs and alcohol.
And I’m not sure he has control over his drinking.
Only the last few shadows of the sun give the sky the slightest glow by the time Jordyn and I head out to the patio.
We sat inside and ate bites directly from a seven-layer chocolate cake that was absolutely divine.
The entire time, we’ve laughed and talked like we’ve known each other for years.
It’s always a pleasant surprise when people in power are down-to-earth and genuine.
Unlike Mike, who is a fucking snake in the grass.
“Your home is so beautiful,” I tell Jordyn as we make our way out to where the guys are.
Xander is sitting in a chair facing the pool that overlooks a cliff with the most beautiful view of The Strip lights on the horizon. It’s breathtaking. If this were my backyard, I think I’d be out here every night to watch the sunset.
“Thank you. I can’t take total credit for it. My husband has great taste,” Jordyn answers as she goes over to where Cash is sitting and climbs into his lap.
They’re so at ease with each other, and it’s almost as if Cash relaxes completely when Jordyn is touching him. Kind of the way I feel whenever Xander has touched me.
“As much as we’d love to hang out and be the third wheel tonight, we’re going to a club instead,” Beckett says while he and Kian start walking toward the house.
Kian chuckles and lifts his chin at me. “Night, Quinn.”
I wave at him and smile. “Bye.”
Jordyn and Cash rise and quickly follow the men, leaving me alone in the night with Xander.
The first few buttons of his shirt are undone, exposing the intricate ink on his chest going all the way up his neck. In one hand, he’s got a glass filled with amber liquid, resting it on one of his spread thighs. He looks dangerous, his eyes locked on me like I’m the prey he’s been hunting.
“Come here,” he commands quietly.
Xander isn’t the type of man who needs to be loud to get someone’s attention. He can do it with a whisper, and he knows it.
My gaze travels down to his glass again, and I slowly shake my head. I don’t want to talk to Drinking Xander. I want to spend time with the actual man. Not the one who’s numbed by liquor.
“Quinn,” he says sternly. A warning. “Come. Here.”
I look at him, my heart pounding. “Get rid of the whiskey.”
It only takes a second before he reacts.
And it’s the longest moment in my life.
Then…
Splash!
I gasp and turn to look at the pool where his glass is slowly sinking to the bottom.
“Come here, baby girl,” he says a little softer this time.
He just threw his entire drink in the pool. Because I asked him to.
Swallowing down the lump in my throat, I obey, my feet moving without even thinking about it. As soon as I’m within arm’s reach, he pulls me onto his lap and cradles me against his chest, hugging me silently.
His warmth envelopes me like a weighted blanket. I’m not sure how much time passes, but by the time he speaks, I’m struggling to stay awake in his embrace.
“Why did you cry today?”
His question catches me off guard.
How does he know?
Is he watching me?
More than just when I sleep?
I need to tell him to stop doing that.
It’s wrong to keep acting like I don’t know.
It makes me feel safe in a way I’ve never felt before. I’m pretty sure I’ll never feel this way with any other man again. So, as much as I know I need to tell him to stop watching me sleep, I can’t. I don’t want to.
“How do you know I cried?”
He shifts slightly, so I’m sideways instead of with my back to his front. It puts me in a position of having to look up at him, especially when he leans me back and cradles me like I’m a freaking baby while staring at me with his brooding eyes.
“Because I can see on your face. Tell me why, baby. I want to know everything. I’ve let you keep secrets long enough.
We aren’t leaving here until you tell me everything that’s happened in your life since the day you were born to this moment.
” His jaw flexes as he watches me, studying my face.
“And do not lie to me, sunshine. You won’t like the consequences if you do. ”