8. Scarlet #2
It wasn’t until he hit me with a hard, penetrating stare that I remembered I was basically tap dancing on a field of landmines.
What was the alternative, though? Cowering forever in case he decided to lose his temper on me?
I had to believe he wouldn’t, or else what was the point of any of this? How could he possibly help me?
The deep, shaky breath he took before slowly releasing hinted at that temper simmering under the surface. “To answer your question, yes,” he replied. “I didn’t want to put it that bluntly, but yes. I’m at the top of his shit list now, which means we need to get on the move.”
“It means what?” I squeaked. “Are you serious?”
“No, I’m in the habit of saying stupid things for no reason. Yes, I’m serious,” he snapped. “I have a safe house around Lake Tahoe. We’ll stay there and figure things out.”
“Together?”
“What part of this are you not understanding?” he asked with a withering glance that made me flinch.
Now I knew why his hair looked so tousled—he raked it back from his forehead with his fingers once, twice, gritting his teeth as he did.
“You should know very well. Tell the guy he’s not going to get what he wants, and he decides what he wants is your head on a platter.
So yeah, I hate to tell you this, but you’re stuck with me for a while. Better get used to the idea.”
It wasn’t the idea itself that freaked me out. I didn’t hate the idea of having someone to protect me. What I did hate very much was the need for it. “This isn’t going to end, is it?” I whispered with a sinking heart.
“It will end. Everything does, eventually.”
“Wow. That’s comforting,” I spat, throwing my hands into the air, barking out a disbelieving laugh.
My head was going to split open if my chest didn’t explode first. “I get to spend the rest of my life running away from that son of a bitch all because he refuses to let me go! He probably doesn’t even want me, but he hates that I left.
I’m going to spend the rest of my life staring out of motel room windows, looking to make sure he didn’t find me.
Paying for everything in cash, using burner phones.
What the fuck is the use of any of this? ” I shouted.
He absorbed this without moving. He might not have blinked before asking, “Are you finished?”
If anything, his placid reaction was gasoline on the fire of my despair. “No!” Tears spilled over, hot and bitter, rolling down my cheeks. “You should have handed me over! What is the use of living if this is all there is? I can’t have a life of my own. Damn him!”
In a fit of rage, I picked up the magazines from the store across the lot and threw them around the room, but it wasn’t enough. Nothing would ever be enough. “To hell with him!”
When I picked up a pillow and threw it at the television, Grayson stepped in, grabbing the other pillow before I could throw it. “All right. Let’s not wreck the room and gain attention.”
“Fuck you!” I could barely see him for the tears now, blinding me, pouring down my cheeks, clogging my throat. “Fuck this room! Fuck all of it!”
“I understand how you feel—”
“Understand?” That was the most absurd thing of all. “You don’t understand shit! You know what this means. My life is over! And all because of him. And now you were drawn into this too. Fuck!” My voice broke until I could do nothing but croak when I wanted more than anything to shriek.
I didn’t realize he was holding me until his arms made it impossible to move mine, pinning them to my sides before I could lash out and hurt him.
Because I was hurting. I was breaking, shattering, crumbling into dust. There was no end in sight.
No real safety, no solace. Nothing but running, hiding, and misery.
And hating myself most of all. I was just like her. Maybe I deserved what I got.
“Listen to me, dammit.” Grayson’s words cut through my heavy, hysterical sobs, reaching a place in my mind that was quiet and could still understand reason. “This is not forever. I will get you out of this, but I need you to trust me.”
“How?” I lifted my head, ready to laugh in his face at the idea until the face in question was close to mine.
Until he filled my world with his nearness, warmth, and strength.
To put it mildly, it took the wind out of my sails, leaving me almost limp in his arms. “How would you do that?” I whispered, lost in his eyes, unable to breathe because of the way he was looking at me.
The warmth I found in those dark depths mixed with something cold and hard.
Like he was two people in one body, the man I had watched brutally beat a stranger and the man who now held me close because he wouldn’t give me to a monster he knew would hurt me.
Because he wanted to protect me. He had to know there was no way I could ever pay him back, but then he hadn’t asked for that. I didn’t know people like him existed.
And it did something to me, something it shouldn’t have, something I needed to stop here and now because I knew better, didn’t I? I couldn’t let myself get lost in him. I might never find myself again.
“Like I said…” His jaw hardened, the words coming out from between clenched teeth. “I know what I’m doing. I am going to end this, and I need you to trust me. Can you do that, Scarlet?” he whispered, searching my face, weaving a spell around me.
I didn’t want this.
I had to fight.
I couldn’t allow myself to blindly trust ever again.
But dammit, it felt good to let go. To believe. To be held.
And that might have been the most dangerous part of all.
Somehow, my brain connected with my body long enough that I nodded my head. “Yes,” I whispered. “I can do that.”
He sighed, a brief smile lighting his face and turning it into pure art. “That’s what I want to hear.”
Then he blinked rapidly, frowning, releasing me before letting out a shuddering breath.
“Now. Let’s get moving. I brought replacement plates for your car.
I’ll change them out, but we’ll leave it here for my guys to pick up and store in a safe place closer to home.
After that, we ride together. Understood? ”
I could hardly keep up, still foggy, confused by the undeniable reaction to him. When he looked my way, his gaze sharp, I nodded my response. “Good,” he grunted. “Get your shit together. It’s time to move.”
I didn’t know where he came from or what twist of fate brought him my way. I only knew I had never been so grateful to anyone in my life.
Or so apprehensive because it was much too easy to lean against someone as strong as him.