Chapter 20
Ben had mostly kept quiet while Delilah, Viviana, and Hudson talked, discussing some of the things Delilah might want to know about McKenzie’s special abilities. Despite passing out earlier, Delilah seemed to be taking this pretty well in stride. She would have to accept the existence of shifters, given that her daughter was one, and now Ben was hoping she would accept him as a shifter. He didn”t understand it, but Delilah living in his house felt right. Sitting next to her, here, felt right.
Until now, with Fraze and Gracie showing up.
Ben had the urge to take Delilah by the hand and leave the bar. The last thing he needed was a bodily reminder of what an evil asshole he really was.
He started to mumble something about leaving, but Viviana fixed him with a glare.
”I think it”s time we all got over this,” Viviana said. She looked up again with a smile and waved over Fraze and Gracie.
”Get over what?” Delilah asked.
Delilah”s lips were slightly parted, her brown eyes open and trusting. The dim lighting of the bar made the tattoos on her arms all the more mesmerizing. Ben wanted to trace them with his fingertips, with his tongue.
But first he wanted to get away from reminders of his misdeeds.
Fraze and Gracie walked over, Gracie holding a beer and Fraze holding one of those frilly drinks that he liked so much. As usual, Fraze’s dark blond hair was in messy spikes, and Gracie’s blond hair fell in a straight sheet down her back. Gracie’s pale skin seemed more pronounced in the dim lighting within the bar.
”Hi guys,” Fraze said, his gaze landing on everyone except for Ben. He held his hand out to Delilah. ”I”m Frasier, but everyone calls me Fraze.”
”I”m Delilah.” She shook his hand.
Gracie introduced herself next, and also shook hands with Delilah.
“So, what are you two doing here?” Viviana asked them, obviously trying to break the awkwardness.
“Date night,” Gracie said simply. “If you guys don’t mind, we’re just gonna go play some pool over there.”
Viviana seemed to hold in a sigh as she looked at Fraze and Gracie with her blue eyes. “Sure, have fun.”
Fraze took Gracie by the hand and turned to go.
”I think we should head out,” Delilah said, nudging Ben.
Ben looked at her. Her cheeks were flushed and she seemed down all of a sudden.
”Aren”t you having a good time?” he asked.
”Oh, I am,” she said, smiling over at Viviana and Hudson. ”But I”ve been away from McKenzie for too long now.”
It wasn”t something that Ben wanted to admit, even to himself, but he kind of missed the baby girl too. ”Wait here while I settle the tab.”
She tried to give him a twenty, but he wouldn’t take it.
While he was at the bar, he settled their tab, paid for Gracie and Fraze’s next round, and bought an order of fries and a soda for a young guy at the end of the bar who looked like he could use a good meal and sobering up.
The bartender shook her head at Ben. “You’re always paying for everyone’s drinks and things, aren’t you?”
“Just trying to be nice,” he mumbled as she went to help someone else. He took out his pocket calendar and made a mark on the day.
When he returned to the booth, he and Delilah said their goodbyes to Viviana and Hudson and made their way to the door. Delilah was steady on her feet, but Ben could tell she was slightly buzzed. He wished he had been able to drink more. A couple of shots an hour and a half ago, and he was stone cold sober. A good buzz would”ve made seeing Gracie and Fraze a little easier. Unfortunately, he had to pass the two of them on his way out.
Gracie stepped into his path just before he and Delilah reached the door.
”Marlana told us to take a break tonight. The rogue hasn”t been doing anything unusual.” Her dark vampire eyes, which had once looked so inhuman to him, now seemed to appraise him with something like sympathy.
”Thanks. And Gracie?”
But the vampire was already winding her way across the pool table, away from him. He knew she had heard him. She was just choosing not to talk.
Delilah looked up at Ben, her pale brows wrinkled in confusion. ”Everything okay?”
”It can”t be.” He gently took her by the elbow and steered her out of the bar.
Delilah walked quietly at his side as if she could sense he was preoccupied. There would be no atoning for that. Maybe Doug had the right idea in moving, trying to get away from it all. Maybe Ben should think of leaving the territory, too.
Except the thought of being separated from this place made something tear deep within his chest.
Delilah gave a little shiver. Ben hadn”t noticed that it was cold tonight. Even though it was summer, when the sun dropped in the mountains, the temperature dipped. He didn”t have a sweatshirt or jacket to offer her.
It didn”t seem to bother her, though. She stepped closer to him and pulled his arm around her shoulders. He almost froze with surprise, but recovered quickly.
The dream he’d had of her came unbidden to his mind. Her soft breasts bouncing, her pink lips parted in ecstasy.
Growling to himself, he shoved the memory away. It didn’t belong to him. She didn’t belong to him.
He was glad when they reached Delilah”s car. They had driven it instead of his truck because McKenzie”s car seat fit better in the back.
He found himself thinking that he should get rid of the truck, trade it in for something that would fit the car seat in the back more safely. He loved his truck, but if McKenzie would be safer in something else, it was time for a change.
He came around to the passenger side so he could open the door for Delilah, because there was no way he was letting her drive tonight. Before he could open the door, though, she stood in front of it, her back to the car so that she faced him.
Her brown eyes looked darker in the faint lights coming from Hart’s. He inhaled, looking for clues as to what she was thinking.
He smelled desire. That dream came rushing back. Fuck.
”Ben,” she said.
His name, spoken in her soft voice, brought forth thoughts. Terrible thoughts. Thoughts of him crowding her against the car door. Lifting up that green dress, shoving down her leggings. Taking her, right here, where anyone could come out and see. He didn”t care. He wanted her now, body and soul. Wherever she would have him, he would take her.
But he couldn”t. He took a step back.
”Sorry,” she said, blushing. ”I”m standing right in front of the door.”
She stepped aside and he unlocked it, then he opened it so she could get in.
What kind of moment was that, that had just passed?
Once she was in the car, he shut her door and came around to his side. He got in and started the engine.
”Your friends are really great,” Delilah said.
”Thanks.” They weren”t exactly his friends—more like pridemates, but he didn”t want to explain that to her.
”Talking to them gave me a better idea of what you are,” Delilah said. ”I mean, what McKenzie is. I”m glad it”s a long way off, though. Will she know, growing up?”
”I”m not sure,” Ben said. ”I guess it”s up to you and the alpha.”
”Marlana, right?”
”Yeah.” He pulled onto the two-lane highway that would take them to his parents’ house so they could pick up McKenzie.
”And those other two who came,” Delilah said tentatively. ”Gracie and Fraze?”
He gripped the steering wheel tighter. ”What about them?”
”Are they your friends too?”
He hadn”t wanted the conversation to go this way. But maybe it was better, tell her everything so she would see how truly terrible he was. Certainly, he wouldn”t smell her desire anymore if she knew what an asshole he had been. Good for nothing, as Chase had said.
”No, they”re not my friends.”
”What happened?” she asked.
Even though he knew he should tell her, he didn”t want to. He kept his eyes fixed on the road, wondering what to say next.
”Ben?” she said, her voice soft. ”Pull over.”
He flicked a glance at her. ”Are you okay?”
”Yeah, I want to talk to you.”
”We’re talking now.”
She gave a little laugh. ”No, we’re not. I”m talking. You”re doing whatever you can to not talk.”
He found a turnoff and took it, driving them back into the shadows. It looked like a forest service road. Trees, brush. Nothing else around.
”Please talk to me,” she said. ”Tell me about your life.”
”We should get McKenzie,” he said.
”She can wait a few more minutes.”
She was taking all his options, chipping away at his excuses. Soon his past crimes would be laid bare before her, and boy, would she regret everything then.
”Fine. You want to talk? I”ll talk.” He tried to keep the growl out of his voice. He didn”t want to scare her.
Surprisingly, she didn”t even flinch.
”So you know what Gracie is, right?” he asked.
”No. She”s not a shifter like you?”
”She”s a vampire.”
Delilah gasped in surprise. ”There are vampires, too?”
Ben nodded. ”They were supposed to stay in Europe, and shifters had to stay in the Americas. Some kind of treaty from a hundred years ago or something. But her court came back anyway. We fought with them.”
Ben could remember the fighting. He remembered the cavern on the Corona Pride territory where the vampires had been hiding at first. He had gone in there with Dristan and Doug. Spooky as fuck, that place had been.
He continued, ”Then things were okay for a bit. But Doug and I were still mad at the vampires. We thought they were up to something. Turns out they were. But we made a deal with them, Doug and I. Marlana knew about it, but she didn”t know everything.”
Delilah stared at him, her rich brown eyes watchful. ”I don”t understand.”
”We didn”t really either, but we should’ve known better,” Ben said. ”They gave us Gracie. Doug and I didn”t know she was Fraze’s mate, we just thought of her as the enemy. We...we did something awful. Tried to kill her.”
”You—you did that?” Delilah asked.
”Yeah. I did. Aren”t you glad you know now?”
She was quiet for a second. Ben could hear their heartbeats, and he was aware of Delilah”s slow, even breaths. Out in the woods, nocturnal creatures went about their nightly business. Ben would have given just about anything to be among them now, running as a lion, escaping the past.
”Well,” Delilah said, ”that explains why they weren’t very friendly to you.”
He gave a bitter laugh. ”Gotta say, I deserve it. I made their lives hard.”
”I imagine it”s harder for you, though,” Delilah said.
He turned quickly to look at her. ”What do you mean?”
”Well, Gracie is obviously safe and alive. I mean, if a vampire can be alive. Nobody told me about their rules. But she”s walking around, you know? And she and Fraze seem really happy together. Seems to me that they’re mostly over it. But you—and Doug, wherever he is—you have to live with what you tried to do.” She nodded thoughtfully. ”They’re the survivors, and you”re always going to be the villain.”
He couldn”t believe what he was hearing. It was like she was taking his jumbled mess of confusion and guilt and sorrow and piecing them together into something coherent.
”How”d you do that?” he asked.
She leaned over and touched her hand to his cheek. The mountain lion inside of him wanted to rub his face against her hand, wanted to scent mark her, claim her as his. But he pulled back and restarted the car.
Delilah hovered her hand between them for a moment before putting it back in her lap.
”I guess we should go get McKenzie,” she said in a quiet voice.
”Yeah.”