Chapter 13
Cara
Warmth encompasses me when I wake up the next morning.
I’m curled against Dmitri’s side, tucked under his strong arm in the gentle light of early morning.
For one perfect second, this feels like paradise.
Then reality crashes back in.
The Bratva. My father. And whatever is going on between Dmitri and me.
After last night, I don’t know what it meant to him.
I lift my head as Dmitri starts to stir, my spirits lifting as he opens his eyes. I gaze down at him with a small smile on my face, deciding to ignore the rest of the world for at least a little longer so that I can enjoy this moment in bed with him.
“Morning,” I tell him. “Last night was nice.”
Dmitri reaches up and brushes my hair away from my face. “Yes, it was,” he says. But something flickers in his eyes.
“Did you sleep well?”
“I always sleep well with you,” Dmitri replies. His tone is softer than his eyes as his fingertips trace the curve of my cheek.
Moments like these are ones that I want to experience all the time with him. Normal. Loving. Simple.
I’m tired of the constant chaos and bloodshed. They might’ve been constants in my life for the longest time now, but I want things to be different. I can only hope that Dmitri wants that too.
Isn’t he tired of the expectations of his family? They’ll take and take until there’s nothing of him left.
And speaking of families, Dmitri and I need to discuss contraceptives today. It’s been days since I’ve taken my birth control. I’ll need to fix that soon.
But first, I hope we can clear the air and remove the elephant in the room between us.
“Thank you for believing me,” I tell him. “I know you had no reason to after everything that I’ve done, but…thank you.”
Dmitri’s expression softens a little. “You were right. Things are far more complicated than I realized.”
I want to talk to him about what’ll come next, but I want to do something else even more first. My lips brush his as I lower my head, pausing our conversation for the moment.
I don’t think he’ll mind.
Dmitri slips his fingers into my hair and holds me close, his lips slotting with mine in a deepening kiss.
I hum against his mouth as I let my hand roam up his strong chest, my body starting to move over his.
Dmitri helps me straddle him, his hands squeezing my thighs under the sheets. He kisses me harder, almost desperately, like he doesn’t want me to pull away.
I want more too. I want everything. The pharmacy probably isn’t even open yet anyway.
I teasingly drag my teeth along his bottom lip, making a faint groan rumble in his chest as his hands travel along the sides of my thighs. I push my fingers into his hair, wanting to touch him everywhere I can reach.
I can’t get enough of him.
Dmitri slides his hands upward, teasing the skin just underneath my shirt as the fabric bunches up around my waist. Even that makes warmth generate between my thighs.
I reach for the bottom of his shirt to take it off, but he grabs my hand to stop me.
I lift my eyes to his in confusion.
Dmitri’s expression hardens before he says, “You’re leaving this morning.”
The words hit me like a blow. “What?”
He takes a deep breath and sits up, forcing me to roll off him. “I told my guard to take off last night, so you won’t be seen.”
My thoughts ricochet all over the place as I still struggle to understand what’s going on. We were kissing a minute ago, and now he wants to kick me out of his penthouse?
“Dmitri, I don’t understand. I thought…I thought we were past all this,” I tell him as I watch him throw off the sheets and get out of the bed, my heart sinking. This is the last thing I imagined happening after last night.
“I’m going to take a shower in my room. By the time I get out, I want you to be gone, and I never want to see you again,” Dmitri tells me in a firm voice.
He might as well rip my heart out while he’s at it.
Pain radiates through me as I watch him head toward the door to leave. I rush after him and grab his arm, not letting him step out of the room yet. “Wait! I don’t understand. Everyone wants you to kill me! Letting me go is only going to make things worse.”
“I know. That’s why you should go back to your father. Go anywhere else. Just get far away from me,” Dmitri says as he pulls his arm away. He gives me a warning look before leaving the room.
There’s still so much that I want to tell him. Things we need to talk about.
But his instructions were clear.
He’s cutting me loose.
The bathroom door closes with a finality that I feel in my soul.
For a moment, I stand there stunned.
But I can’t stay and keep begging him to choose me when he’s made his decision.
I glance around, looking for some way to at least tell him what’s been left unsaid. I have no idea where he put my phone. After some rifling around in drawers and checking other rooms, I manage to find a sheet of paper and a pen.
It won’t take him long to shower, so I get to writing, penning out a letter that I hope he doesn’t rip up and destroy.
As I jot down the last few things that I want him to know, my eyes start burning once more. I don’t think that I’ve ever cried so much in my life, but it’s clear to me now.
Leaving him hurts worse than anything my father ever did.
I’ve never felt this hollow.
But I’m still alive. That’s what’s important for now.
My father might not care about me, and Dmitri might not want me anymore, but I’ll figure out a way to survive.
People will be keeping an eye out for me, and if my father gets his hands on me, I doubt it’ll be pretty.
He’ll be worried that I gave up intel on him to be released, or he’ll use me for some sort of twisted plan that might end up killing me.
Worse, make good on his promise to send me to the brothel.
It’s time to disappear. I need to leave everything behind, even the man that I love. At least for now.
With tears in my eyes, I fold up the letter and set it on his bed. Then, when I hear the shower switch off, I hurry out of the room. As I walk through the foyer, my eyes catch sight of the car keys in a dish close to the door. It’s too dangerous for me to call a cab or walk to my place.
I grab the keys and step out of the penthouse, my eyes sweeping the empty hallway. As promised, there aren’t any guards. Hopefully, I don’t run into any because they might be at the breaking point where they’ll shoot me first and ask forgiveness later.
Checking every corner and looking behind my back constantly, I make my way to the parking garage and hit the unlock button on the key fob, causing the lights of a black Mercedes-Benz S-Class to turn on.
Without hesitation, I get into the driver’s seat. When I pull out of the parking garage, I’m grateful for the tinted windows.
I drive through the city toward my apartment to grab the rest of my things before fleeing. I won’t get far wearing baggy sweats without any money.
When I turn down the street that runs in front of my building, I press the brake, slowing down so that I can get a good look at the area. People roam up and down the sidewalk as usual, heading to their jobs, going home, or running errands. It all seems so normal.
All I want to do is quickly run inside and grab my cash and some clothes before hitting the road. Maybe some food and water so that I don’t have to stop for a while. A kitchen knife in case things get dicey.
But before I can pull into an empty parking spot on the street, I catch sight of a man wearing black sunglasses and black attire in the Vegas sun, lingering in front of the entrance of the apartment building. He doesn’t look familiar.
An odd feeling creeps up the back of my neck.
He seems…suspicious. Like he’s waiting for someone.
A horn blares behind me. He turns his head.
Panic punches through me.
I drive off, ditching my original plan. It looks like I’ll be leaving the city without any of my things and without a dime. I can figure out a way to buy what I need later, like a decent weapon and emergency contraceptive.
I’ll ditch the car somewhere and figure out the rest, just as soon as I’m far away from Vegas.
As I head to the city’s outer limits, I glance in the rear-view mirror, catching sight of all the buildings that I used to walk in the shadow of. I tried to belong here.
I couldn’t ever fit in properly. I couldn’t meet the expectations that were made for me. I couldn’t become the person that my father wanted me to be.
I was never meant to stay.
I don’t belong in Vegas, and maybe I don’t belong with Dmitri either.
I can’t go back and ask him to flee with me. I can’t convince him to abandon his family, even if they’re willing to have him suffer just for money and alliances. I can’t force him to do anything.
If he wanted to run away with me, he would’ve dragged me into a car and taken off, but he told me to leave instead. He said he never wants to see me again.
Thinking of his harsh words makes my throat grow tight, but I push past the ache and focus on the road ahead. I have no idea where it’s going to take me, but I can only hope that it leads to where I belong.
A new home. A chance for a normal life.
And a much-needed new beginning.
I leave the city behind. But I don’t leave him.